Name: Chinese Elmo
Uploaded: 2025-02-22T15:30:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chinese Elmo' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chinese Elmo' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-22. Transcript available.

Sesame Street welcomes TJ, the first Filipino-American Muppet.
Finally.
Finally, dude.
Dude, finally.
Finally, dude.
Yeah.
What are the comments at? Anything rude?
We made it.
We made it.
He's studying to be a nurse, right?
Somebody said that?
Yeah, that's still really funny.
Sesame Street welcomes first nurse puppet.
But here's what I don't get.
And man, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
About Sesame Street?
Yeah.
Is there a Chinese one?
Yeah.
What?
Elmo?
Yeah.
No.
Elmo Chinese?
Elmo Chinese?
Who, me?
I'm Chinese.
I'm Chinese.
Yeah, look, I can tell you what everybody is just based on it.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Okay, let's go.
That's Ernie, right?
Yeah, that's no specific.
Ernie is 100% he's Puerto Rican.
Ernie is obviously Puerto Rican.
Oh, yeah, Ernie.
Ernie, he's Puerto Rican.
Okay, all right.
Oh, is this the first?
Which one's the Muppet?
Which one's the Muppet?
That's an Asian Muppet.
Her name is G Young.
That is not an Asian Muppet.
That's not on the show.
On the show.
That is on the show.
That is on the show.
But also, that's not an Asian Muppet.
He's not a little Michael.
He's Korean.
She's Korean.
That girl looks Spanish.
That looks like a Spanish Muppet.
Yeah, they didn't want to.
You know what it is?
You know, Jim Henson's, you know, factory or whatever?
Yeah.
You know the eye drawer?
You got to go back to the eye drawer.
You know the drawer they use?
There's our dog.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There we are.
Here we go.
This is the OG.
This is the OG crew.
Okay, so let's see.
First up is Bert.
What's Bert?
Bert.
Bert's gay.
Yeah, I know.
Bert's gay, but he looks Eastern European.
Look at the eyebrows.
Slovakian.
Slovakian.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
Just the eyebrows.
And then what about Cookie Monster?
Cookie Monster is Armenian.
He is.
Is he not?
Yeah, bro, bro, eat your cookies.
Yeah.
Armenian for sure.
He drives a white Mercedes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What about Grover down in the left-hand corner?
I've never, let me think about Grover.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Autism.
Yes, he's autistic.
Okay, autism.
Autism, right?
But what's his nationality?
What is, well, no, no.
What's his race?
Race, I mean, yeah.
What is Grover's race, we think?
I would imagine.
Spanish, fancy.
Exactly, dude.
Exactly.
That's what they're like.
When they colonized, there was a million of those.
We're gonna take your country.
Imagine on the beach.
We're gonna take your country.
We're gonna colonize your winner.
Yeah, yeah.
Go back to the original picture.
Yeah.
This is the most interesting one
that I want your advice on
because I know you're intelligent
and the way that you operate is so astute.
You can always call it out.
I wanna see the picture of the crew.
Okay.
Of all the crew,
the original Muppet gang.
Okay.
I gotta tell you.
Okay, here we go.
Who is, well, he's not even in this.
I was gonna say, Big Bird.
What is Big Bird?
Big Bird?
What is Big Bird?
Big Bird's a bird.
No, dude.
What race is Big Bird?
I think he might be black.
Or is it a guy, Big Bird?
Yeah, yeah.
Who knows, right?
They kind of keep it.
Okay, oh, what about-
Grover.
We did Grover.
Not Grover.
What's the brown guy?
The dog to the top left.
Fozzy.
Fozzy.
Not the right, to the left.
Oh, oh, uh, the dog is, uh,
what is his name, dude?
Yeah, right there.
Ralph.
Ralph.
Yeah, Ralph.
I mean, we know what Ralph is.
We don't even need to know what he is.
Go ahead, man.
No, you go ahead, man.
No, you go ahead, man.
I don't know.
I'm confused.
I don't know.
I'm lost.
You said you know what it is.
I mean, he looks, um,
like an adopted black kid.
By a white family?
Yeah, the white family.
Look at the way he's doing his hair now.
He wants to fit into the family, right?
So he got him, he got it straightened.
That's not fair.
Yeah, that's not fair.
You're right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go back.
Look at him.
What about Fozzy Bear?
See, Fozzy plays jazz.
Yeah, Fozzy's dope.
He's cool as shit.
He's black.
Yeah.
And what's the woman,
uh, what about Miss Piggy?
Oh, uh-oh.
Well, I mean-
Who is Miss Piggy?
You think, what race would Miss Piggy be?
I mean, if you were to talk about anyone trans,
that's, I think, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy's trans.
It's gotta be trans.
You think so?
Yeah.
Yeah?
And so Kermit-
Yeah, Kermit, yeah.
Kermit, Kermit doesn't have,
he's like, he's asexual.
I think he is an,
yeah, he's an incel.
Honestly, dude,
the mind of a man
to come up with a world of Muppets.
I just can't.
It is another thing.
The mind of,
the people that,
how do you write a kid,
a song for Sesame Street?
You and I can do one right now?
No, you can't.
Yeah, we can.
Mathematics, twice.
You're already on it.
That's the number two.
Press the record right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mathematics three times.
Right.
That's the number three.
Okay, how about this?
Yeah, you go.
Ready?
Yeah.
I want to,
I'm a producer.
Yeah.
And you're a writer.
Yeah.
Listen, dude,
we need to write a song.
Kids don't know about vegetables, dude.
That's right.
That's right.
Dude, that writer,
like being confused
and kind of scared is funny.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
And we need pronto, dude,
so we,
all the vegetables,
as many vegetables as you can
and no fruits.
Got it.
That writer.
Got it.
You got it.
Yeah.
Got it.
We need it in 20?
20 days?
Minutes.
Minutes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You need it right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
And you're that little Asian writer
that you have?
Bobby?
Yeah, yeah.
Or Mr. Laila.
Mr. Laila.
He's my assistant.
You're your assistant.
Maybe he can help.
Fine, yeah.
I have to get him off.
He's at scent store right now working,
but I can't.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
What is it?
We have a line at the scent store.
I know, dude.
They can wait.
Oh, my God.
I got something way more important.
What is it?
We need to write a song about vegetables now.
You need to.
We need to, Laila.
You don't pay me.
You owe me.
John?
You never made me the scent.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
All right.
So, make it up.
Ready?
I need to.
What is it about?
Vegetables.
Salaries, asparagus, and spinach down your hatch.
Broccoli.
Broccoli.
Broccoli.
Stop, stop, stop, stop for a second.
Stop.
Broccoli.
Stop, stop.
Stop, stop.
What?
If we just do one vegetable, like per phrase.
Well, dude, I'm trying to spread it out.
It'll be the longest song.
Potato, is it a fruit or a vegetable?
Mushrooms.
Mushrooms.
Stop, stop.
What?
We're two different kinds of artists, dude.
Do you have the song?
We're ready to go.
Yep.
Yeah, yeah.
We're ready.
Bye, Laila.
Okay, here we go.
You ready, sir?
We're going to play it live on the show.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great.
Yeah, and what Muppet are we going to use for this?
Please say Big Bird.
Please say Big Bird.
The new one.
Oh, the Puerto Rican one.
Yeah, the Puerto Rican one.
Yeah.
Fuck.
The Filipino.
The Filipino, Pongo.
Pongo.
Yeah.
Okay.
Hi, Pongo.
Do you have the song for me?
Pongo, do you know your vegetables?
Okay, I'll read the lyrics.
Mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms.
That's it?
Cut.
That's all you got, dude?
That's all we got.
You gave me 20 minutes.
20 minutes.
Was that Elton John on it?
Yeah.
Everyone's been, we should have been on Sesame Street.
Yeah, look at it, a little pervy.
How about this one?
A little pervy smile.
Yeah.
If you see a man in a van, don't get in.
If you see a man in a van, don't get in.
But if you do get in, know your karate and taekwondo.
But you're little, but you're little, so he's gonna get you anyway.
Get the spray.
Get the sprays ready.
And the whistle blow.
Try to escape if you can.
And you.
And when you escape the van, you run.
And there's 12 of them chasing you.
And they are brown.
But no race specifically.
No specific race.
But they're brown and they have accents.
But nothing specific.
But they're not illegal.
No specific race.
They're not illegal.
They're here totally legally.
They're not asylums or refugees.
Call us Sesame Street.
Call us.
I figured we could make a song for these guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.