Name: Bobby's SECRET to Smelling Good
Uploaded: 2025-02-25T17:45:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's SECRET to Smelling Good' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's SECRET to Smelling Good' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-25. Transcript available.

I got to be honest with you, dude.
This new cologne that you got on is so good.
It's driving me nuts.
Are you being real?
I'm getting me...
Are you being real?
I'm from it.
Because I go to the scent room.
I'm so...
Can I take it to the scent room?
No, I don't...
I keep it a secret from me.
I'm like, you're not...
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm your little mistress.
No, no, you got to come to the scent room.
I'll buy you a cologne.
It's not about that.
Yeah, it is.
What I like to do, my friend,
is I take a friend, usually a woman.
Me?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll dress up for you.
And we'll go to the scent room.
It's on Larchmont, right?
And then they have clothes and perfumes
that aren't widely available.
Okay?
I'm going.
I'm being real.
I'm going.
I'm going to go.
So, and I give them a smell.
Like, I have this one...
I don't forget what it's called,
but it smells like cow poo.
Oh, yes.
No, no, be real.
Yo, moopoo.
Yeah, no, it's not called moopoo.
It's not moopoo?
Yeah, yeah, I think it is moopoo.
Japanese scent moopoo.
Yeah, it's a Japanese...
Yeah, but when you spray it on your body,
it changes the chemistry of it.
Right?
It does.
You guys are laughing.
It does.
And you smell like sheep poop.
Right.
Yeah, it smells like sheep poop.
After that, no.
But it does smell like a barn, right?
So I'll go in there and I'll go,
so today I'm feeling like...
Like, okay, think of Nirvana.
Whoa.
Or the Enlightenment.
Both?
Yeah, give them both, dude.
Both?
Both Nirvanas.
Right.
Right, and they go, what is it?
I go, the band?
They go, we don't know because they're younger.
Oh, they're kids.
Right, right, right.
So then think Taylor Swift.
Same kind of band.
Same audience.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then think Nirvana, the Enlightenment, right?
Then also think about hiking.
Ooh.
And then also think about, right?
Cockfights.
Oh, yeah.
Not the penis.
No, no, no.
I had to explain it to them.
Cockfights, the birds.
Not penises fighting, but the birds fighting.
Right?
But also penises fighting.
That too.
Yeah.
You can even say that.
Yeah.
And they go, we'll be right back.
Wow.
And they don't come back for hours.
You're just standing there in the store.
Right?
Right?
And then you come out and they go, maybe something else?
And I go, no!
Nirvana.
I yell.
Cockfights.
Nirvana.
Hiking.
Cockfights.
Right?
You know what I mean?
Two cocks?
Two cockfights.
Two different kinds of cockfights.
We'll be right back.
Another hour passes.
Right?
And they go, here we go.
And this is it.
No, this is not the one I'm wearing now.
That's not the cockfight?
No, no, no.
But that's what I'm saying.
You and I can go in there.
Like, what do you want to smell like?
Ooh, okay.
Hootie and the Blowfish.
Well, I'm the guy.
Yeah.
Welcome to the scent room.
Hi.
I'm Demaitrai.
Hi, Demaitrai.
Yeah.
And Lai Lai.
Demaitrai Lai Lai.
Yes.
Wonderful to meet you.
Call me Mr. Lai Lai.
Okay, Mr. Lai Lai.
Yeah.
Well, hi.
Hi.
What you doing?
I'm here to buy a scent.
What were you thinking?
Ooh, I'm thinking like what my vibe is right now.
I think.
Well, not now.
Okay, went for another time.
In the future.
Let's say 10 years from now.
Got it.
Right?
Because I know what you're going to be doing 10 years from now.
You do?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
You're going to.
Does it look a little bit like this?
No, it doesn't.
No.
Oh, I'm in a tomb?
You're a tomb.
Wow.
You're a mummy.
I'm a mummy?
Yes.
Mummy dog.
You don't know.
Okay, my buddy came here, Bobby Lee.
Do you know Bobby Lee?
Oh.
It's like my best friend.
Yeah, the one that we.
You mean the cow poop guy?
If you're going to try to insult my friend while he's not here, I'm going to
have to fight you.
Well, it was very hard to fucking bottle the cow poop.
We had to drive all the way down.
Well, then why don't you work somewhere else?
We did it.
I'm sorry, sir.
Yeah, he wanted what he wanted.
You got what he wanted.
Exactly.
So, what would you like, sir?
Thank you.
Yeah.
He told me, Bobby said, it's a band, an activity, and an animal thing.
Exactly.
That's right?
Right.
So, let me get my chart out.
Get it out.
The first thing, please.
The band.
Band.
Yes.
Are you ready?
I have my pen and my paper.
Sir, go to Sephora if this is the kind of energy you're going to have.
I just came from there.
They sent me to you.
All right.
They ran out.
I'm going to kick you out to Sephora the next time you give me a little fucking
bite.
All right.
That.
What?
I don't like that.
I said, all right.
I'm Mr. Lai Lai.
I know Mr. Lai Lai.
Treat me with respect.
Sir?
Yeah.
What's my first name?
Tiki Tiki Tempo.
No.
Demetriai.
Demetriai.
Lai Lai.
Lai Lai.
All right, sir.
So, here we go.
I get the chart out.
I have my pen.
All right.
And I'm ready.
And the band.
Quicksilver.
Quicksilver.
Quicksilver.
Okay.
Now, we have two Quicksilver.
I just want to write.
We also have the Avenger.
Yeah.
Give me a little bit of both.
We also have the actual mineral Quicksilver as well.
I'll take a little bit of all.
Okay.
So, all three Quicksilvers.
Thank you.
That's all we got.
Okay.
So, and then the second thing, please.
The activity.
Activity, please.
Space docking.
Space docking.
Now, we don't have space.
We have moon landing.
Now, what is that?
Oh.
Yeah.
I know.
He brought it back.
Mm-hmm.
Armstrong dead.
God bless.
He brought it back from the moon in the 60s.
If the moon landing was a sexual phrase, what is a moon landing?
Excuse me?
Well, you know what space docking is, right, sir?
It's when one piece is uncircumcised and one circumcised, and the uncircumcised
sleeve
covers up the circumcision.
Yeah, of course.
That's docking.
Of course.
What is a moon landing in sexual terms?
Moon landing is when a woman or a man lays on his stomach, right?
And you get baking powder.
Yeah.
And you pour baking powder all over his back.
Oh.
Then you got to get your moon shoes on, right?
Got it.
You got to get the thick-ass moon shoes on.
The big boots.
The big boots.
Mm-hmm.
And I have one from actual NASA.
You do?
Yeah.
When I do my moon landings, I have one from that.
Now, I stole it.
You jacked it from NASA?
Yeah.
I only have one boot.
Okay.
They're heavy.
Yeah, I did.
I mean, try to get that boot across that fence, right?
Is that a Trump thing?
Exactly.
A border boot?
It's just a border boot.
Ah.
Yeah.
You don't know NASA's in Mexico?
Why NASA's in Mexico?
NASA's in Mexico.
I don't know if you know that.
So, anyway, so I put the one boot on, right?
I put the baby powder, and I do the moonwalking on the back.
And that's a moonwalk.
That's a moonwalk, yeah.
I had this vision of, you've seen the rockets when they have to control land
them?
Yeah.
Of, like, someone with their legs above their head, butt in the air, and then a
penis.
Oh, you do that.
Wow.
Yeah.
And, you know, this is a cologne perfume store.
Oh, my bad.
Can we move on, please?
Sorry about that.
Thank you.
I don't know what we're doing.
All right, so Quicksilver.
There's a line.
Quicksilver.
So, yeah, so we got the-
The Avenger, the band.
Would you like the moonwalking?
Oh, 100%.
So, we put moonwalking, the smell, okay.
Hey, lie.
There's another guy named Lie.
You're Mr. Lie-Lie?
And his name is Lie.
His first name's Lie?
His first name's Lie.
Can I be honest with you, sir?
Yeah.
This sounds like a lie.
It's not.
Ironically, his last name is Dermatry.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
Oh!
It's reversed.
I get it.
So, anyway, and that's the third thing, please.
Oh, I see, Lie, get the baking powder ready.
Okay, so go ahead.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Imagine, does he know what you're talking about?
You just yelled, get the baking powder ready.
Yeah, moon.
Oh, he knows that.
That's signal for moon?
Yeah, exactly.
Got it.
So, you have my band, my element, my Avenger.
Quicksilver, all three.
Get all three Lie.
And then we also have Moonwalking Lie.
Listen!
Okay?
And then the third thing, please.
And the third thing is what?
It's an animal event?
It's an animal event.
It can be a variety of things.
Okay.
I mean, it could be a lion, the tiger.
Falcor.
Excuse me?
Falcor from NeverEnding Story.
Falcor.
We don't have Falcor.
I'm so sorry.
We have Cherub.
You like Cherubs?
You seriously don't have Falcor?
We don't have Falcor.
No, he died in the movie.
What?
Yes.
It's a little known fact, but Falcor actually died.
You know how Brandon Lee died?
Yeah.
Yeah, the fake, the bullet.
Right, right.
Falcor died.
Oh, do you remember, you know what I mean?
Alec Baldwin event?
Same thing.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, you know what I mean?
It happened again.
Yeah, a dummy gun.
And there's no guns in, which is crazy in NeverEnding Story.
There is no guns in the movie.
There should have been.
Exactly, but there was one that shot Falcor.
Anyway, he died.
And the lawsuit's still pending.
I'll take a Cherub.
I'll take a Cherub.
I gotta go.
Okay.
Well, to get the Cherub, though,
because we have to actually go to Middle Earth.
Honestly, can you hurry up?
I know, but sir.
No, I'm serious.
You think there's Cherubs here in L.A.?
It's your store.
I don't know what you have back there.
Perils Hilton had one years ago.
Died.
Michael Jackson had one, right?
But you know who ate it?
His monkey.
Bubbles?
Bubbles ate the Cherub.
Wow.
Yes, and that was a mess
because that was my previous job.
Cleaning up?
Massacres on NeverEnding Ranch,
or whatever it's called.
NeverEnding Ranch.
Falkor flew to NeverEnding Ranch?
Yes.
That's how he died.
Yeah, that's how he died.
You're gonna sleep over forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, would you like it?
Yes.
Sit on our futon.
I'm on it.
I know.
I know.
I know you are,
but I don't think you're comfortable.
I'm very comfortable.
It's gonna take hours.
I'm here.
Okay.
I'm gonna call my friend Bobby
in the meantime.
Hold on a second, okay?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
To get to...
Also, what's the price of this shit?
You'll see.
To get to Middle Earth...
You're gonna check this out.
Pegasus.
Pegasus, yes.
Yes, you have to go to Middle Earth again.
To get a cherub.
Fuck you.
Whoa.
Whoa, Pegasus.
You see fuck...
Whoa.
What are you shot?
You're the one that killed Falkor.
I'm Alec Baldwin.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Let me tell you,
you're taking me to the scent store.
I'm dead serious.
We're going.
Yeah, we're going.
I literally went to Larchmont yesterday.
Have you been to the scent room?
No.
I went down there
and I ran into our good buddy,
Andy Richter.
Love him.
You know the last thing he said to me?
What did he say?
My hand to God.
Tell Bobby I said hello.
No.
Yeah, he loves you.
Andy Richter's like one of the coolest,
nicest, funniest dudes
I've ever met in my entire life.
Smart.
My hand to the devil.
Just let me see it.
My hand to the devil.
God bless.
Okay.
Who's Andy Richter?
Are you serious?
No, I'm going back to my old self.
I'm going to the self that I was.
I know who Andy is.
I love him.
From 30 minutes ago
and I'm going to change that.
All right, I'm going to shift gears.
Wait a minute.
Show up that...
Let me bring you the picture again.
Oh, that's Andy Richter?
That's not who I'm talking about.
What are you thinking of?
No, I'm just curtailing your joke.
So you bought a shirt there?
No, I went down there to kill some time.
I bought a shirt
and I saw how much the neighborhood had changed.
It's so fun.
It's...
It's a great...
Let's do a little game called
Down Larchmont Lane.
Down Larchmont Boulevard.
Boulevard, okay.
So a lot of people listening
from all over the world.
Are you going to puke?
I just had an ozempic burp.
God, dude.
I just had an ozempic burp.
When I see it start, I don't...
I know, you get scared.
I know.
It gives me PTSD.
I know.
I'm fine.
Okay.
Okay.
So a lot of people from around the world.
If you're in Los Angeles,
there's a street called Larchmont.
Mm-hmm.
And it's a great neighborhood.
Can we say?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
It's very Midwestern, actually, in many ways.
It feels like everywhere and nowhere at once.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It can be anywhere.
Yeah.
It's like never-ending ranch.
Never-ending ranch.
Yeah, yeah.
So let's go down Larchmont Lane.
That's Eric Griffin's dream.
All-you-can-eat ranch dressing.
He does it with a straw, a bubble straw.
Imagine Eric got kicked out of a buffet,
and they were like,
he's like, it's all you can eat.
And they're like, no, not all you can eat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
You ate a chair.
Stop.
All right.
So anyway-
Larchmont Boulevard.
So let's go.
Because you were recently there.
You were there yesterday.
Yeah.
So you want to grade our little stores down there?
Let's do it.
All right.
So there's a Rite Aid.
What are we doing out of 10?
Yeah, let's go to 1 through 10, yeah.
No, 1 through 5 is easier.
1 through 5, yeah.
There's a Rite Aid.
All right.
It gets a 4 for supply,
because there's always something in there,
but it gets a 2 for the fentanyl front door.
Exactly.
You have to, like, duck and dodge.
Couple of fentanyls.
Yes, very good.
That should be in there.
Double rating.
Yeah.
There's a Salt and Straw.
Salt and Straw, as I was just about to say.
You were about to say Salt and Straw?
I'm going to hear your rating for Salt and Straw.
You know, I think it's hype.
I agree.
Do you really?
Van Leeuwen is way better,
and so is, uh...
I prefer Baskin Robbins.
Now you're wrong.
No, I'm not.
Now you're absolutely wrong.
I'm not.
What happened to the good old Rocky Road, baby?
It's not Rocky Road.
Pearly's and cream, baby!
It ain't the same.
Butter pecan, baby!
First of all, McConnell's,
out of Santa Barbara, phenomenal.
Yeah.
And Van Leeuwen,
both better than Salt and Straw.
Okay.
By a land...
It's not even close.
Also, don't put goat cheese in ice cream.
I don't want that!
Yeah, and fennel.
I don't...
Why, Dad, I might.
All right.

Bobby's SECRET to Smelling Good

I got to be honest with you, dude.
This new cologne that you got on is so good.
It's driving me nuts.
Are you being real?
I'm getting me...
Are you being real?
I'm from it.
Because I go to the scent room.
I'm so...
Can I take it to the scent room?
No, I don't...
I keep it a secret from me.
I'm like, you're not...
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm your little mistress.
No, no, you got to come to the scent room.
I'll buy you a cologne.
It's not about that.
Yeah, it is.
What I like to do, my friend,
is I take a friend, usually a woman.
Me?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll dress up for you.
And we'll go to the scent room.
It's on Larchmont, right?
And then they have clothes and perfumes
that aren't widely available.
Okay?
I'm going.
I'm being real.
I'm going.
I'm going to go.
So, and I give them a smell.
Like, I have this one...
I don't forget what it's called,
but it smells like cow poo.
Oh, yes.
No, no, be real.
Yo, moopoo.
Yeah, no, it's not called moopoo.
It's not moopoo?
Yeah, yeah, I think it is moopoo.
Japanese scent moopoo.
Yeah, it's a Japanese...
Yeah, but when you spray it on your body,
it changes the chemistry of it.
Right?
It does.
You guys are laughing.
It does.
And you smell like sheep poop.
Right.
Yeah, it smells like sheep poop.
After that, no.
But it does smell like a barn, right?
So I'll go in there and I'll go,
so today I'm feeling like...
Like, okay, think of Nirvana.
Whoa.
Or the Enlightenment.
Both?
Yeah, give them both, dude.
Both?
Both Nirvanas.
Right.
Right, and they go, what is it?
I go, the band?
They go, we don't know because they're younger.
Oh, they're kids.
Right, right, right.
So then think Taylor Swift.
Same kind of band.
Same audience.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then think Nirvana, the Enlightenment, right?
Then also think about hiking.
Ooh.
And then also think about, right?
Cockfights.
Oh, yeah.
Not the penis.
No, no, no.
I had to explain it to them.
Cockfights, the birds.
Not penises fighting, but the birds fighting.
Right?
But also penises fighting.
That too.
Yeah.
You can even say that.
Yeah.
And they go, we'll be right back.
Wow.
And they don't come back for hours.
You're just standing there in the store.
Right?
Right?
And then you come out and they go, maybe something else?
And I go, no!
Nirvana.
I yell.
Cockfights.
Nirvana.
Hiking.
Cockfights.
Right?
You know what I mean?
Two cocks?
Two cockfights.
Two different kinds of cockfights.
We'll be right back.
Another hour passes.
Right?
And they go, here we go.
And this is it.
No, this is not the one I'm wearing now.
That's not the cockfight?
No, no, no.
But that's what I'm saying.
You and I can go in there.
Like, what do you want to smell like?
Ooh, okay.
Hootie and the Blowfish.
Well, I'm the guy.
Yeah.
Welcome to the scent room.
Hi.
I'm Demaitrai.
Hi, Demaitrai.
Yeah.
And Lai Lai.
Demaitrai Lai Lai.
Yes.
Wonderful to meet you.
Call me Mr. Lai Lai.
Okay, Mr. Lai Lai.
Yeah.
Well, hi.
Hi.
What you doing?
I'm here to buy a scent.
What were you thinking?
Ooh, I'm thinking like what my vibe is right now.
I think.
Well, not now.
Okay, went for another time.
In the future.
Let's say 10 years from now.
Got it.
Right?
Because I know what you're going to be doing 10 years from now.
You do?
Oh, yeah.
Really?
You're going to.
Does it look a little bit like this?
No, it doesn't.
No.
Oh, I'm in a tomb?
You're a tomb.
Wow.
You're a mummy.
I'm a mummy?
Yes.
Mummy dog.
You don't know.
Okay, my buddy came here, Bobby Lee.
Do you know Bobby Lee?
Oh.
It's like my best friend.
Yeah, the one that we.
You mean the cow poop guy?
If you're going to try to insult my friend while he's not here, I'm going to
have to fight you.
Well, it was very hard to fucking bottle the cow poop.
We had to drive all the way down.
Well, then why don't you work somewhere else?
We did it.
I'm sorry, sir.
Yeah, he wanted what he wanted.
You got what he wanted.
Exactly.
So, what would you like, sir?
Thank you.
Yeah.
He told me, Bobby said, it's a band, an activity, and an animal thing.
Exactly.
That's right?
Right.
So, let me get my chart out.
Get it out.
The first thing, please.
The band.
Band.
Yes.
Are you ready?
I have my pen and my paper.
Sir, go to Sephora if this is the kind of energy you're going to have.
I just came from there.
They sent me to you.
All right.
They ran out.
I'm going to kick you out to Sephora the next time you give me a little fucking
bite.
All right.
That.
What?
I don't like that.
I said, all right.
I'm Mr. Lai Lai.
I know Mr. Lai Lai.
Treat me with respect.
Sir?
Yeah.
What's my first name?
Tiki Tiki Tempo.
No.
Demetriai.
Demetriai.
Lai Lai.
Lai Lai.
All right, sir.
So, here we go.
I get the chart out.
I have my pen.
All right.
And I'm ready.
And the band.
Quicksilver.
Quicksilver.
Quicksilver.
Okay.
Now, we have two Quicksilver.
I just want to write.
We also have the Avenger.
Yeah.
Give me a little bit of both.
We also have the actual mineral Quicksilver as well.
I'll take a little bit of all.
Okay.
So, all three Quicksilvers.
Thank you.
That's all we got.
Okay.
So, and then the second thing, please.
The activity.
Activity, please.
Space docking.
Space docking.
Now, we don't have space.
We have moon landing.
Now, what is that?
Oh.
Yeah.
I know.
He brought it back.
Mm-hmm.
Armstrong dead.
God bless.
He brought it back from the moon in the 60s.
If the moon landing was a sexual phrase, what is a moon landing?
Excuse me?
Well, you know what space docking is, right, sir?
It's when one piece is uncircumcised and one circumcised, and the uncircumcised
sleeve
covers up the circumcision.
Yeah, of course.
That's docking.
Of course.
What is a moon landing in sexual terms?
Moon landing is when a woman or a man lays on his stomach, right?
And you get baking powder.
Yeah.
And you pour baking powder all over his back.
Oh.
Then you got to get your moon shoes on, right?
Got it.
You got to get the thick-ass moon shoes on.
The big boots.
The big boots.
Mm-hmm.
And I have one from actual NASA.
You do?
Yeah.
When I do my moon landings, I have one from that.
Now, I stole it.
You jacked it from NASA?
Yeah.
I only have one boot.
Okay.
They're heavy.
Yeah, I did.
I mean, try to get that boot across that fence, right?
Is that a Trump thing?
Exactly.
A border boot?
It's just a border boot.
Ah.
Yeah.
You don't know NASA's in Mexico?
Why NASA's in Mexico?
NASA's in Mexico.
I don't know if you know that.
So, anyway, so I put the one boot on, right?
I put the baby powder, and I do the moonwalking on the back.
And that's a moonwalk.
That's a moonwalk, yeah.
I had this vision of, you've seen the rockets when they have to control land
them?
Yeah.
Of, like, someone with their legs above their head, butt in the air, and then a
penis.
Oh, you do that.
Wow.
Yeah.
And, you know, this is a cologne perfume store.
Oh, my bad.
Can we move on, please?
Sorry about that.
Thank you.
I don't know what we're doing.
All right, so Quicksilver.
There's a line.
Quicksilver.
So, yeah, so we got the-
The Avenger, the band.
Would you like the moonwalking?
Oh, 100%.
So, we put moonwalking, the smell, okay.
Hey, lie.
There's another guy named Lie.
You're Mr. Lie-Lie?
And his name is Lie.
His first name's Lie?
His first name's Lie.
Can I be honest with you, sir?
Yeah.
This sounds like a lie.
It's not.
Ironically, his last name is Dermatry.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
Oh!
It's reversed.
I get it.
So, anyway, and that's the third thing, please.
Oh, I see, Lie, get the baking powder ready.
Okay, so go ahead.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Imagine, does he know what you're talking about?
You just yelled, get the baking powder ready.
Yeah, moon.
Oh, he knows that.
That's signal for moon?
Yeah, exactly.
Got it.
So, you have my band, my element, my Avenger.
Quicksilver, all three.
Get all three Lie.
And then we also have Moonwalking Lie.
Listen!
Okay?
And then the third thing, please.
And the third thing is what?
It's an animal event?
It's an animal event.
It can be a variety of things.
Okay.
I mean, it could be a lion, the tiger.
Falcor.
Excuse me?
Falcor from NeverEnding Story.
Falcor.
We don't have Falcor.
I'm so sorry.
We have Cherub.
You like Cherubs?
You seriously don't have Falcor?
We don't have Falcor.
No, he died in the movie.
What?
Yes.
It's a little known fact, but Falcor actually died.
You know how Brandon Lee died?
Yeah.
Yeah, the fake, the bullet.
Right, right.
Falcor died.
Oh, do you remember, you know what I mean?
Alec Baldwin event?
Same thing.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, you know what I mean?
It happened again.
Yeah, a dummy gun.
And there's no guns in, which is crazy in NeverEnding Story.
There is no guns in the movie.
There should have been.
Exactly, but there was one that shot Falcor.
Anyway, he died.
And the lawsuit's still pending.
I'll take a Cherub.
I'll take a Cherub.
I gotta go.
Okay.
Well, to get the Cherub, though,
because we have to actually go to Middle Earth.
Honestly, can you hurry up?
I know, but sir.
No, I'm serious.
You think there's Cherubs here in L.A.?
It's your store.
I don't know what you have back there.
Perils Hilton had one years ago.
Died.
Michael Jackson had one, right?
But you know who ate it?
His monkey.
Bubbles?
Bubbles ate the Cherub.
Wow.
Yes, and that was a mess
because that was my previous job.
Cleaning up?
Massacres on NeverEnding Ranch,
or whatever it's called.
NeverEnding Ranch.
Falkor flew to NeverEnding Ranch?
Yes.
That's how he died.
Yeah, that's how he died.
You're gonna sleep over forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, would you like it?
Yes.
Sit on our futon.
I'm on it.
I know.
I know.
I know you are,
but I don't think you're comfortable.
I'm very comfortable.
It's gonna take hours.
I'm here.
Okay.
I'm gonna call my friend Bobby
in the meantime.
Hold on a second, okay?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
To get to...
Also, what's the price of this shit?
You'll see.
To get to Middle Earth...
You're gonna check this out.
Pegasus.
Pegasus, yes.
Yes, you have to go to Middle Earth again.
To get a cherub.
Fuck you.
Whoa.
Whoa, Pegasus.
You see fuck...
Whoa.
What are you shot?
You're the one that killed Falkor.
I'm Alec Baldwin.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Let me tell you,
you're taking me to the scent store.
I'm dead serious.
We're going.
Yeah, we're going.
I literally went to Larchmont yesterday.
Have you been to the scent room?
No.
I went down there
and I ran into our good buddy,
Andy Richter.
Love him.
You know the last thing he said to me?
What did he say?
My hand to God.
Tell Bobby I said hello.
No.
Yeah, he loves you.
Andy Richter's like one of the coolest,
nicest, funniest dudes
I've ever met in my entire life.
Smart.
My hand to the devil.
Just let me see it.
My hand to the devil.
God bless.
Okay.
Who's Andy Richter?
Are you serious?
No, I'm going back to my old self.
I'm going to the self that I was.
I know who Andy is.
I love him.
From 30 minutes ago
and I'm going to change that.
All right, I'm going to shift gears.
Wait a minute.
Show up that...
Let me bring you the picture again.
Oh, that's Andy Richter?
That's not who I'm talking about.
What are you thinking of?
No, I'm just curtailing your joke.
So you bought a shirt there?
No, I went down there to kill some time.
I bought a shirt
and I saw how much the neighborhood had changed.
It's so fun.
It's...
It's a great...
Let's do a little game called
Down Larchmont Lane.
Down Larchmont Boulevard.
Boulevard, okay.
So a lot of people listening
from all over the world.
Are you going to puke?
I just had an ozempic burp.
God, dude.
I just had an ozempic burp.
When I see it start, I don't...
I know, you get scared.
I know.
It gives me PTSD.
I know.
I'm fine.
Okay.
Okay.
So a lot of people from around the world.
If you're in Los Angeles,
there's a street called Larchmont.
Mm-hmm.
And it's a great neighborhood.
Can we say?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
It's very Midwestern, actually, in many ways.
It feels like everywhere and nowhere at once.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It can be anywhere.
Yeah.
It's like never-ending ranch.
Never-ending ranch.
Yeah, yeah.
So let's go down Larchmont Lane.
That's Eric Griffin's dream.
All-you-can-eat ranch dressing.
He does it with a stra