Name: Dax Flame is Dating Emma Watson??!!
Uploaded: 2025-03-08T17:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dax Flame is Dating Emma Watson??!!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dax Flame is Dating Emma Watson??!!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-08. Transcript available.

look who it is oh my did you cut your hair uh not recently well i took a shower
a second ago
that's it that's it that's it i think you nailed it i think you nailed it that's
it yeah yeah
hello welcome back to the show dax flame everybody you look like you had a
spiritual
experience like you look like a different person uh i exercised also today and
shower what did we
do in the exercise what do we do uh i played basketball with a friend can we
can i see your
three-point stance wow wow whoa one-on-one uh uh no just shooting you guys were
just shooting
together how long do you shoot for uh maybe 30 minutes to an hour and do you
break break a sweat
or no yes you're wearing these clothes that you're wearing now or you're
wearing no uh i wore shorts
today and oh you did wow i've never seen your legs before i yeah i usually wear
jeans or pants are
your legs nice uh let's see you can see them if you want yeah i'd like to see
well i'd like to see
one whoa whoa those are pretty good legs actually thank you they're world war ii
legs those are that's
like you know i mean like just a traditional that's normandy those are normandy
yeah normandy legs dude
traditional white have you ever stormed a beach no do you go to the beach uh
yeah but i never swim
yeah you shouldn't yeah you shouldn't you don't know what's out there you know
who you're you know
what guy you are on normandy who the guy that kind of catches on fire but then
you run in the ocean
is that the the is saving private ryan is that where that's yeah okay but then
you run in the ocean
you only half burn but then you pretend you're dead in the water okay then the
war passes and then
you and then you're back would you play dead in war do you think in a movie or
in real war no real
war it's coming if i didn't think i had a chance anymore you just play dead
play possum
yeah unless there is like someone i could potentially help okay look let's let's
play it
out all right we're in one of those i don't know what you call it but you know
in the beginning
of saving private ryan they're in that oh those boats you vote well no you
boats are the
submarines right but it's one of those boats where like you know and they're
always like either
vomiting right and they're just super scared yeah and bullets whizzing by right
and they're holy
and there's always one guy with a cross and he kisses it right right there's
always one guy like
that and there's another guy going mama you know i mean there's a mama guy
always and there's one guy
going yeah yeah yeah yeah the rogan killer joe rogan yeah overcompensating
right jacked up on alpha
right so then the thing closes that goes down and then you see two or three
guys in the front just go
down right away right what do you do what do you do so i see two people just
die right away yeah well
you're like fourth row you know what i mean yeah yeah you know frankie castro
dies in front of you
right devon sanchez dies in front of you marco jackson jackson dies in front of
you yeah marco
swano marco swano but dies in front of you and then what do you do stay in the
boat stay in the
boat you don't move forward to the beach i mean if every single person is
getting killed they are
now but you're you're fucking cap what do you call a captain or you're a sergeant
you're a sergeant
yeah sergeant's going come on flame move forward flame get going yeah and you're
just gonna sit
there pop pop people are dying you just sit there flame yeah i would i'd
probably just point out that
every single person has died as they left so oh all right it's pretty logical
pretty logical it does
make sense yeah uh you know what you probably go overboard on the other side
under the water they
would throw me over you're saying i would that because if you were in front of
me and you weren't
moving right i would throw you over so i could get forward yeah and you would
get killed right i don't
know yet it's the odds are bad but it's like i have to go forward i would use
you as a human shield
yeah me too i think i would grab you and i would just have my flame shield yeah
yeah yeah yeah and
you're just getting let me see what that looks like yeah you know what i would
do too when he's down
when he's down you know what i would do yeah i would steal something you know
what i would steal
from him his morphine packet oh morphine morphine packet and you would you'd
feel every pain yeah you
would of your death i wouldn't inject you with the morphine because you were a
coward that would
probably yeah that would make more sense than just people going forward using
someone as a shield
yeah yeah pretty heavily dude that was a brutal scene what's been going on with
you dax
um what's been happening in your life somebody told me that you're seeing
somebody now i heard a
rumor that you're dating somebody famous do you know this oh that's not
accurate he's got a famous
girlfriend he's being shy about it i'm jealous just tell him emma watson he's
dating emma watson
he has been he's been seen paparazzi have caught them out in public you're
really dating emma watson
why are you doing that spell on her she she asked me to um keep it private but
i don't like to keep
anything i mean we can cut it out are you being real right now yeah he is do
you want us to cut it
out yeah we should go is there a photo there was a paparazzi photo i don't know
what no with i want
to see dax and emma together i kind of believe it no they are really no real
quick is that him yeah
isn't that crazy that's crazy dude so you so how did you guys meet how'd you
meet emma watson i
went to a harry potter thing like a meetup or a convention or what was it a
book signing oh okay
right on oh a book signing and who was signing the books uh emma oh emma watson
was did you just run
game on her so i'm emma watson hello welcome you want me to sign your book
hello i'm her publicist
ramon hello that's my publicist ramon would you like me to sign a book uh yeah
wonderful what's your
name dax dax you're cute thank you so are you thank you i don't know why you're
signing that that's
eyes wide shut the script oh wow yeah yeah is this the script for american
psycho listen
are you a big fan yes you want a photo yes all right anything else all right
hurry hurry up um
what how's your day going oh my god i mean not bad at all really okay it's
better that you're here
oh thank you what kind of things do you like to do uh i mean count money um
these things are probably the worst go shopping eating food crab crab crab crab
crab i love crab cakes
horchata as well i'm big i'm a big all right she loves horchata i love horchata
yeah that's very good
yeah yeah so salsa verde love salsa verde if she's eating mexican food she
loves salsa verde
what's your favorite place to get it mexican food yeah maybe like del taco
bikito mass okay uh we should go there sometime you're asking me out on a date
really wow wow
you've got quite the confidence little man thank you you're absolutely
incredible dude are you cut or
uncut uh have you got a sleeve or is it a mushroom um it's uh i'm circumcised
yeah
really how big is it limp uh excuse me for a second emma there's a long line
yeah they can wait
it's like you know we've we had a hard out and quite horny so they can i know
but how big is it limp
um i'm uncomfortable with your publicist hearing oh really close your ears okay
how big is it average normal great uncover okay i heard it still yeah it's an
average tom hardy's in
line really yeah he's gonna ask you out well give me your number and take me
out on a date okay
i can't wait to see where are you gonna take out uh pakito moss get more
creative get more creative
hi-ho hi-ho hamburger it's owned by after the date what would you want sugar
fish what do you want to
do to me um uh maybe i'm yours dex oh what would you do to me in the villa we
have a villa i guess uh
make out make out then maybe see whatever you're comfortable with uh i'm
comfortable with all of it
tell me what you like you want me to spit on you kick you pull your air
um i think uh maybe just play it by ear you want me to play with your ears sure
wonderful grab he
grab his ears in his mouth dude i see how you got her really good well let me
tell you something we've
had a lot of submissions to break up your relationship you know this we've had
women
who have submitted to date you do you know this okay put on your headphones so
you can hear this
one you'd like right there let's be honest okay if you if you really want to go
on a date there's a
lot of women out there and are if you you really are dating emma watson so some
of these women need
to get in line people people need to know so yours this one will be second let's
see
hi dex my name is katie i'm 34 years old um i am a single mom i have a four-year-old
son that lives with me
full-time i work in orange county i work at a veterinary hospital i'm a
practice manager
um so i'm around animals all day pretty much um i do like to go to comedy shows
i was at the comedy
store a few weeks ago when you opened for bobby and andrew and that was awesome
um you're super funny
and i like going to hockey games i'm a huge hockey fan um i like good food um i
don't really know what
else to say but yeah hopefully i get to talk to you soon she's a babe bro she's
a dude she works with
animals babe hockey babe she's very pretty yeah she's pretty we did not pay her
to say oh okay
in case you have that honestly honestly how do you feel let's be real good you
do about her
yeah is this someone that might be your type uh yeah right on do you like
hockey at all no
could you pretend to like it uh yeah all right check it out we're at the hockey
game there we're at the
anaheim ducks game and they're playing the edmonton oilers look at them out
there uh which one do you
like the most that guy who you're rooting for oh the oilers no no no dude we
got to get that part
right yeah yeah the ducks anaheim ducks anaheim ducks in orange county okay
yeah oh which which uh
what position do you like the most on the ice who do you like goalie you love
the goalie nice dude
you like to protect yes yeah you seem like a protector yeah right on man and
she has a four-year-old
son you can be comfortable with another another young man around a child yeah
oh now a puck comes
towards you what do you do whoa you grabbed it no grab it with your mouth like
a seal dude you go
and then good like that well no he grabbed it what if he puts in his mouth
after oh that's true
wow did you catch the puck do it again whoa whoa wow
and then okay so um great you're gonna take her on a date uh in real life or in
in real life oh um
yeah okay before you do her four-year-old son is right here this is milo hi and
you have to
tell milo that you're gonna take his mom on a date because he's a little
uncomfortable
he's he's got he's got a tip it it it it it's cool to meet you nice to meet you
how is how are you
good do you go to school yep yep yep yep
uh you're uh you uh you seem really cool you go do you like hockey yeah yeah gretzky
oh yeah wayne gretzky no john john wayne gretzky john wayne gretzky my favorite
serial killer
so i don't know if you're willing to leave emma watson but bad friends will pay
for you to take a
girl on a beautiful date if you'd like to take any of these women on a date we
will pay for the date
and i'm talking start to finish okay we'll get you a car service we'll get you
a nice dinner we'll
pick up the bill we'll you know movie whatever you want to do afterwards i'll
be there we have
bobby will have to chaperone at the shop would you all both be there would you
like us both to be there
um uh so it would either be just just you or just the two of you no i'm
i'm probably not gonna be there wait wait i'm sorry be honest with me dude let's
get this out
and open dude why are you uncomfortable with me just me being there well i
think if there's just
one other person on it like a date if it might feel well i don't i actually don't
i don't know yeah
you don't know true exactly would you like me and bobby to go on a double date
with you and one of
these girls oh like you would bring people i'll bring my own date you bring a
date no you bring
your wife when i date each other oh yeah yeah we'll be yeah us two together we're
on a date
uh that could be distracting yeah but it might make things less uh how about
this we'll pay for
a date with you and one of these nice young ladies if you feel like or many if
you'd like
and and you just report back and tell us how it went okay we do you want us to
be there i don't
think we'd want to be there okay do you want us to be there uh be honest i i
don't i don't know i
have to i have to i have i have to think yeah yeah think about it

Dax Flame is Dating Emma Watson??!!

look who it is oh my did you cut your hair uh not recently well i took a shower
a second ago
that's it that's it that's it i think you nailed it i think you nailed it that's
it yeah yeah
hello welcome back to the show dax flame everybody you look like you had a
spiritual
experience like you look like a different person uh i exercised also today and
shower what did we
do in the exercise what do we do uh i played basketball with a friend can we
can i see your
three-point stance wow wow whoa one-on-one uh uh no just shooting you guys were
just shooting
together how long do you shoot for uh maybe 30 minutes to an hour and do you
break break a sweat
or no yes you're wearing these clothes that you're wearing now or you're
wearing no uh i wore shorts
today and oh you did wow i've never seen your legs before i yeah i usually wear
jeans or pants are
your legs nice uh let's see you can see them if you want yeah i'd like to see
well i'd like to see
one whoa whoa those are pretty good legs actually thank you they're world war ii
legs those are that's
like you know i mean like just a traditional that's normandy those are normandy
yeah normandy legs dude
traditional white have you ever stormed a beach no do you go to the beach uh
yeah but i never swim
yeah you shouldn't yeah you shouldn't you don't know what's out there you know
who you're you know
what guy you are on normandy who the guy that kind of catches on fire but then
you run in the ocean
is that the the is saving private ryan is that where that's yeah okay but then
you run in the ocean
you only half burn but then you pretend you're dead in the water okay then the
war passes and then
you and then you're back would you play dead in war do you think in a movie or
in real war no real
war it's coming if i didn't think i had a chance anymore you just play dead
play possum
yeah unless there is like someone i could potentially help okay look let's let's
play it
out all right we're in one of those i don't know what you call it but you know
in the beginning
of saving private ryan they're in that oh those boats you vote well no you
boats are the
submarines right but it's one of those boats where like you know and they're
always like either
vomiting right and they're just super scared yeah and bullets whizzing by right
and they're holy
and there's always one guy with a cross and he kisses it right right there's
always one guy like
that and there's another guy going mama you know i mean there's a mama guy
always and there's one guy
going yeah yeah yeah yeah the rogan killer joe rogan yeah overcompensating
right jacked up on alpha
right so then the thing closes that goes down and then you see two or three
guys in the front just go
down right away right what do you do what do you do so i see two people just
die right away yeah well
you're like fourth row you know what i mean yeah yeah you know frankie castro
dies in front of you
right devon sanchez dies in front of you marco jackson jackson dies in front of
you yeah marco
swano marco swano but dies in front of you and then what do you do stay in the
boat stay in the
boat you don't move forward to the beach i mean if every single person is
getting killed they are
now but you're you're fucking cap what do you call a captain or you're a sergeant
you're a sergeant
yeah sergeant's going come on flame move forward flame get going yeah and you're
just gonna sit
there pop pop people are dying you just sit there flame yeah i would i'd
probably just point out that
every single person has died as they left so oh all right it's pretty logical
pretty logical it does
make sense yeah uh you know what you probably go overboard on the other side
under the water they
would throw me over you're saying i would that because if you were in front of
me and you weren't
moving right i would throw you over so i could get forward yeah and you would
get killed right i don't
know yet it's the odds are bad but it's like i have to go forward i would use
you as a human shield
yeah me too i think i would grab you and i would just have my flame shield yeah
yeah yeah yeah and
you're just getting let me see what that looks like yeah you know what i would
do too when he's down
when he's down you know what i would do yeah i would steal something you know
what i would steal
from him his morphine packet oh morphine morphine packet and you would you'd
feel every pain yeah you
would of your death i wouldn't inject you with the morphine because you were a
coward that would
probably yeah that would make more sense than just people going forward using
someone as a shield
yeah yeah pretty heavily dude that was a brutal scene what's been going on with
you dax
um what's been happening in your life somebody told me that you're seeing
somebody now i heard a
rumor that you're dating somebody famous do you know this oh that's not
accurate he's got a famous
girlfriend he's being shy about it i'm jealous just tell him emma watson he's
dating emma watson
he has been he's been seen paparazzi have caught them out in public you're
really dating emma watson
why are you doing that spell on her she she asked me to um keep it private but
i don't like to keep
anything i mean we can cut it out are you being real right now yeah he is do
you want us to cut it
out yeah we should go is there a photo there was a paparazzi photo i don't know
what no with i want
to see dax and emma together i kind of believe it no they are really no real
quick is that him yeah
isn't that crazy that's crazy dude so you so how did you guys meet how'd you
meet emma watson i
went to a harry potter thing like a meetup or a convention or what was it a
book signing oh okay
right on oh a book signing and who was signing the books uh emma oh emma watson
was did you just run
game on her so i'm emma watson hello welcome you want me to sign your book
hello i'm her publicist
ramon hello that's my publicist ramon would you like me to sign a book uh yeah
wonderful what's your
name dax dax you're cute thank you so are you thank you i don't know why you're
signing that that's
eyes wide shut the script oh wow yeah yeah is this the script for american
psycho listen
are you a big fan yes you want a photo yes all right anything else all right
hurry hurry up um
what how's your day going oh my god i mean not bad at all really okay it's
better that you're here
oh thank you what kind of things do you like to do uh i mean count money um
these things are probably the worst go shopping eating food crab crab crab crab
crab i love crab cakes
horchata as well i'm big i'm a big all right she loves horchata i love horchata
yeah that's very good
yeah yeah so salsa verde love salsa verde if she's eating mexican food she
loves salsa verde
what's your favorite place to get it mexican food yeah maybe like del taco
bikito mass okay uh we should go there sometime you're asking me out on a date
really wow wow
you've got quite the confidence little man thank you you're absolutely
incredible dude are you cut or
uncut uh have you got a sleeve or is it a mushroom um it's uh i'm circumcised
yeah
really how big is it limp uh excuse me for a second emma there's a long line
yeah they can wait
it's like you know we've we had a hard out and quite horny so they can i know
but how big is it limp
um i'm uncomfortable with your publicist hearing oh really close your ears okay
how big is it average normal great uncover okay i heard it still yeah it's an
average tom hardy's in
line really yeah he's gonna ask you out well give me your number and take me
out on a date okay
i can't wait to see where are you gonna take out uh pakito moss get more
creative get more creative
hi-ho hi-ho hamburger it's owned by after the date what would you want sugar
fish what do you want to
do to me um uh maybe i'm yours dex oh what would you do to me in the villa we
have a villa i guess uh
make out make out then maybe see whatever you're comfortable with uh i'm
comfortable with all of it
tell me what you like you want me to spit on you kick you pull your air
um i think uh maybe just play it by ear you want me to play with your ears sure
wonderful grab he
grab his ears in his mouth dude i see how you got her really good well let me
tell you something we've
had a lot of submissions to break up your relationship you know this we've had
women
who have submitted to date you do you know this okay put on your headphones so
you can hear this
one you'd like right there let's be honest okay if you if you really want to go
on a date there's a
lot of women out there and are if you you really are dating emma watson so some
of these women need
to get in line people people need to know so yours this one will be second let's
see
hi dex my name is katie i'm 34 years old um i am a single mom i have a four-year-old
son that lives with me
full-time i work in orange county i work at a veterinary hospital i'm a
practice manager
um so i'm around animals all day pretty much um i do like to go to comedy shows
i was at the comedy
store a few weeks ago when you opened for bobby and andrew and that was awesome
um you're super funny
and i like going to hockey games i'm a huge hockey fan um i like good food um i
don't really know what
else to say but yeah hopefully i get to talk to you soon she's a babe bro she's
a dude she works with
animals babe hockey babe she's very pretty yeah she's pretty we did not pay her
to say oh okay
in case you have that honestly honestly how do you feel let's be real good you
do about her
yeah is this someone that might be your type uh yeah right on do you like
hockey at all no
could you pretend to like it uh yeah all right check it out we're at the hockey
game there we're at the
anaheim ducks game and they're playing the edmonton oilers look at them out
there uh which one do you
like the most that guy who you're rooting for oh the oilers no no no dude we
got to get that part
right yeah yeah the ducks anaheim ducks anaheim ducks in orange county okay
yeah oh which which uh
what position do you like the most on the ice who do you like goalie you love
the goalie nice dude
you like to protect yes yeah you seem like a protector yeah right on man and
she has a four-year-old
son you can be comfortable with another another young man around a child yeah
oh now a puck comes
towards you what do you do whoa you grabbed it no grab it with your mouth like
a seal dude you go
and then good like that well no he grabbed it what if he puts in his mouth
after oh that's true
wow did you catch the puck do it again whoa whoa wow
and then okay so um great you're gonna take her on a date uh in real life or in
in real life oh um
yeah okay before you do her four-year-old son is right here this is milo hi and
you have to
tell milo that you're gonna take his mom on a date because he's a little
uncomfortable
he's he's got he's got a tip it it it it it's cool to meet you nice to meet you
how is how are you
good do you go to school yep yep yep yep
uh you're uh you uh you seem really cool you go do you like hockey yeah yeah gretzky
oh yeah wayne gretzky no john john wayne gretzky john wayne gretzky my favorite
serial killer
so i don't know if you're willing to leave emma watson but bad friends will pay
for you to take a
girl on a beautiful date if you'd like to take any of these women on a date we
will pay for the date
and i'm talking start to finish okay we'll get you a car service we'll get you
a nice dinner we'll
pick up the bill we'll you know movie whatever you want to do afterwards i'll
be there we have
bobby will have to chaperone at the shop would you all both be there would you
like us both to be there
um uh so it would either be just just you or just the two of you no i'm
i'm probably not gonna be there wait wait i'm sorry be honest with me dude let's
get this out
and open dude why are you uncomfortable with me just me being there well i
think if there's just
one other person on it like a date if it might feel well i don't i actually don't
i don't know yeah
you don't know t