Name: Rudy's HILARIOUS Southern Accent
Uploaded: 2025-03-25T16:10:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's HILARIOUS Southern Accent' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy's HILARIOUS Southern Accent' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-25. Transcript available.

- Have you tried eating the body of Christ already?
- Yes.
- Oh, he's eaten so many bodies.
- 100%.
You know why I do it?
Because I follow a strict keto diet.
It's high protein.
I ate his body, but yeah, I eat the body of Christ,
the blood of Christ.
I drink the blood of Christ.
- What is the body?
Is it bread?
I've never been to one of those things.
- It's the Holy Eucharist.
It's a wafer that's been blessed by the priest
and it is the body of Christ.
It's a little wafer
and it's only about five calories
according to my fitness pal.
So it will not break a fast.
And then I have my,
and then you drink the blood of Christ,
which is wine,
which is just Sutterholm wine from the liquor store.
- Yeah, it's so interesting.
- They bless it though.
- Wow, wow.
It's interesting that I've never been to a church like that.
- I want you to come to church.
Will you come to our wedding at the church?
- Yeah, I mean, I'm going to the wedding,
but I've never,
no, I've been to weddings in a church,
but I've never been to like a Catholic church
where they have the whole,
you know, the bread and stuff.
- I'm gonna call Jazz and see if you can come.
- Okay. - See?
- Okay, yeah, I don't think so.
Yeah, I don't think so.
- She knows bull . - Hold on a second.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hold on, let's see.
She doesn't, I think she literally looks at my call.
She knows that like when I'm on the road,
I'm very lonely and I need her
and she looks at the call and hangs up.
- Yeah, really?
- Yeah, 'cause I think, you know what it is?
'Cause she's an old school woman.
She thinks it's weak if I say I'm lonely and I'm depressed.
She says, "Why don't you snap the fuck out of it
and try to sell out your shows?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause we need that money and I need a new tip.
- Why haven't you, are you,
is the acting thing not a thing you're gonna do?
- I've.
- You're very, I mean, let's get down to the business at hand.
Let's get down to the business's hand
and look at this guy.
He is, he's gonna sell out Madison Square Garden.
Let's be honest.
- Allegedly.
- No, you're gonna, okay?
- Keep, keep, keep watching.
- So September, you know, and I'm gonna do the show.
I'm gonna try to do the show.
- There'll be announcement coming soon.
- There'll be announcement coming soon.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're now a talk show guy.
I mean, you're on the talk show circuit.
Yeah, you just did Kimmel, no?
- We did Kimmel and then, and then I got,
Edward Norton was on on YouTube.
He got 500,000 views.
Anthony Mackie on the week before,
he got 250,000 views.
- I was on 18,000 views.
- That's, that's pretty good though.
Comparatively speaking.
- Yep. - Yeah, yeah.
- Go ahead, keep going.
- All right.
And so, and can you act is the question.
- Yes, I can.
I've, I've, I work at it.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I've went on, I've kept track.
I've went on 103 auditions in 2016,
and I've gotten one.
- Can we chat GBT, GBT a script before me and?
- Yes. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so I think we should do a three way,
you know what I mean?
A scene between us three.
I'd like to test your, you know what I mean?
- Yeah. - Your chops here.
- I'm putting my product out there, Bobby,
on a daily basis, and the people are saying no.
That's what's happened.
- Okay, can I say this too?
- It's happened too. - And I wanna say this.
- I'm thankful and fortunate for what I do have,
but I think people are saying no.
- Hey, guy.
- Relatively.
- Okay.
- Guy, let me tell you something, guy, good.
There's a disconnect between this and that,
between what we do in our ecosystem and Hollywood.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
If there still isn't, you know what I mean?
A complete direct line, is what I'm saying.
They think that what we, they don't understand what we do.
- Right.
- And we don't quite understand what they do,
but we wanna do what they do and they wanna do what we,
why don't we do it together, you know what I mean?
But they won't let it, you know what I mean?
That's why--
- But you're in? - That's why, no, I'm not.
- You get a more role--
- I've done some stuff.
I'm not fully in though.
- You're like in, but you're there
because you do their laundry.
- Oh, yeah, oh, you did a more Asian analogy.
- How, no.
- Yeah, old west.
- Yes.
- It's the old west.
Oh, I know what it is.
Let's say you're a cowboy.
- Yes.
- Right?
And I'm a Chinese laundromat guy in Deadwood.
Where you come and you, "Hey man, hey Chang."
You know what I mean?
Wash these trousers.
"Okay, mister, okay, mister John."
Right?
And you go, "Deliver it to my house."
Right?
"Okay, mister John."
Right?
And I get through the laundry and I go in
and you invite me in for a second.
- Right.
- "Come on in here, Chang."
And I go in.
That's the only time you're allowed in that house.
- Right.
- Is that a good analogy?
- That's a good analogy.
And then you come in, and then we tie up your feet
because we--
- Oh, yeah, what else, what else, what else happens?
- The tie feet, we like to tie up the Asian feet.
- Down the stairs in the basement?
- Yeah, yeah.
- And I go, "What's going on here, mister John?
I wash your trousers.
It's on the house.
Please don't do this to me."
And then what do you say?
- And then I tie up, I said, "I'm gonna tie up your feet."
- Yeah, why are you doing this to me?
- Yeah, I'm gonna tie up your feet.
- Mr. John, Mr. John, why are you doing this to me, Mr. John?
- I'm gonna put a little soy sauce on your feet.
- Why, I'm not tumbling?
- Yeah, you are.
- I'm not tumbling, Mr. John.
- You don't believe in Jesus.
- I don't, I'm Buddhist.
- Yeah.
- I'm Buddhist, Mr. John.
- I'm gonna eat your feet.
- No, please don't.
- Yo, I see, I see, yeah.
- Yeah.
- And then the next time you go to the fucking place,
I'm just like wobbling around.
- Yeah, I have no feet.
- And you're gonna still go wash my trousers.
- Yes.
- Right, that's that guy.
And I have no, I'm walking on nubs, oh my God.
- Here's the scene, it's just the laundry run.
A small dusty laundry shop in a typical old west town.
Clothes are hanging on a line outside.
Oh, oh, and there's the faint sound
of a creek in the background.
Inside, the smell of soap and steam
from boiling water fills the air.
The three men, Jed, Billy, and Cole,
step by a counter, leaning on it
with various laundry items in hand.
- All right, so what am I playing?
- So you'll be-
- Just throw it out.
- I guess you're-
- He's Jed.
- I'll be Jed.
- You're Jed, and I'm Billy.
- You're Billy?
- Yeah.
- And you're Cole.
- Okay.
- Man.
- We have to do an accent?
- No, it's whatever.
Your choice, dude, you're the actor.
- Man, I've never thought I'd be standing
in a place like this.
We went out again.
For my laundry to get done.
Ain't no cowboy got time for laundry.
- Ha ha ha, you ain't wrong, Jed.
But I reckon it's better than wearing
these stinkers another day.
I ain't been washed clean in the mud.
My old lady would have had a fit
if she saw me like this.
- Ha ha ha.
You boys are lucky.
- Ha ha ha.
- I don't have anyone to complain about me
looking like a tumbleweed.
- Ha ha ha.
- My boots smell worse than a rattler's dance.
- Ha ha ha.
- I ain't bothering with no laundry.
- Ah, you got a good point, Cole.
Ain't much to do when you're right alone all the time.
I reckon you can smell as bad as you please
out there in the wild.
But calm your down and folks start looking at you
like y'all been rolling in cow dung.
- I reckon it's the dust.
It gets in your pores.
Makes you smell like you've been sleeping
in the middle of a sandstorm like Faheem.
I mean, I can't even tell if my shirt's dirtier
from sweat or from just sitting in the sun all day.
- Ha ha ha.
- You okay, Cole?
You coughing, Cole?
- I say, it's a little bit of fun.
- Ha ha ha.
- You boys ain't much different.
- Ha ha ha.
- But this laundry place, hell,
it's like little slice of civilization.
Clean sheets, hot water, and the smell of lavender.
- You sound like a lady, Cole.
- Ha ha ha.
- Lavender.
What happened to riding hard and living free?
- Living free don't mean you gotta stand
like a whore's backside.
But I do like me some clean socks and underwear.
Ain't too proud to admit it.
- You know, we might oughta be careful what we say.
The way this laundry lady looks it up,
I wouldn't put it past her to be listening in
in our conversation.
You seen her eyes?
They got like that look like she knows everything.
Even things you ain't said out loud.
- Oh, yeah, I swear.
Every time I come in here,
it feels like she gonna read my soul.
I ain't even sure how she
managed to fold the laundry so perfectly.
Like she's working magic.
- That ain't magic.
- That skill.
You don't survive out here without knowing
how to take care of business.
Maybe she's been in these farms longer than we think.
- See, that's what I like about the West.
Everyone's got a story they ain't telling,
but they all know how to make things work.
- I feel like we're, that's the truth.
Well, fellas, I reckon it's time to get our shirts back
before she starts making us fold them ourselves.
Don't, wait, wait, wait, wait, fuck.
Don't want no part of the kind of work.
- Let's get 'em before she puts a spell on us boys.
We may be quiet.
- All right, let's go.
- Yeah, we got this from the Theovan and Spade movie.
That's it, that's it.
That's what it's from.
- That's a funny callback.
I like that.
She was very good commitment.
- Very great.
- You grasped onto the Southern accent.
That was really good.
- I followed you guys.
- You followed, yeah.
And God, Chris, you can't act.
God damn it.
- Thank you.