Name: Something BIG is coming...
Uploaded: 2025-05-06T16:15:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Something BIG is coming...' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Something BIG is coming...' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-06. Transcript available.

After all the hate I get, Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak prints his own custom
$2 bills and spends
them. Thank God. Thank God the internet is backing me up. All the people that
make fun of me online,
all the times people mock me, the Wozzi Wozzi prints $2 bills, Bobby, in your
face, it's real.
Wow. And he spends them. There's the Woz dog right there.
Wow. I don't remember.
So by law, these are legal. By law, they're legal tender.
They have been spending them. You can get arrested for them. You cannot get
convicted because you're
in the right. He's printing his own $2 bills and spending them. I sell sheets
of four $2 bills
for $5. And of course, I tell you what you're getting is worth $50. It's worth
you'd be an idiot
not to buy it for five bucks. I sell them all over the place. And the Secret
Service, the Secret
Service proved these three times. The nerve of this guy, by the way, printing
money. He's one of the
richest men in the world. And he's print literally doing he's spitting in the
face of poor people.
I'm printing money. I'm the phrase I'm literally printing money. By the way,
something is happening.
By the way, there's a revolution coming. I feel it. No, no, I'm dead serious. I'm
not even kidding.
Oh, my God. Are you ready? I have seeds. Something's happening. I have seeds
and bottles of water.
I feel that I'm concede something's coming. They're big, big dog CEOs. Big, big
presidents
are going to get in trouble. People are going to start taking people out. The
doomsday clock has
89 seconds to midnight. We're so close. The world is about to collapse. I was
in the desert. I met
a guy. He was sweet guy. He said he worked for some company. Not going to say.
And he goes,
yeah, these other people in my company keep pushing me to get security. They're
afraid for
my life. I said, why don't you do it? Let's get trailers. Let's get trailers. I'm
being real.
No one's going to kill podcasters. Oh, we're not involved. What? I want to be
involved. You're
wrong. You're not. I want to get a stick. You can get a stick. Okay. Okay. Give
him the stick
with a pinata. All right. No, but really when you mean revolution, what do you
mean? I think
there's going to be an uprising. I think there's going to be an uprising. And I
mean this,
there's going to be an uprising of the lower and middle class. And they are
going to go after the
top tier. The guys who own Amazon, who own Microsoft, the guys who control all
of these big
monolithic corporations. I think it's, I think it's going to happen. But if you
see,
I think it's going to happen. These town halls now, right? You can see the
anger and you're seeing
people that normally, normally wouldn't protest and say things just screaming
and, and, and
interrupting. And you know what I mean? They're, they're, they're in rage mode.
People are, people are going to fight back. It's going to happen. So get ready
because it's
coming. I thought about that. Let's get a trailer. No, no, we're fine.
Okay. We got to get seeds. We'll get the seed.
Okay. I've always wanted seeds and a bees want to watch them grow.
Yeah, we'll, we'll get some seeds. You could do that. Can you do it? Can we,
can we get seeds
though? Oh my God. Air one sells seeds. Great. Yeah. We'll buy them from air
one.
No, but we got to get seeds. Um, I see them on Tik TOK a lot.
You see Tik TOK seeds.
What are they? Yeah. Like a variety, like a variety pack.
Yep. All I see on Tik TOK now is people telling me
that you're fat and you're lazy and you need to get up and make money. That's
what all
Tik TOK is all like. Yeah. You want to optimize your day. You think your day
starts when you wake up?
By the time you wake up, I've done six jobs. I've had six jobs. I, I, I impregnated
four women
and I tripled my bank account while you're sleeping. That's what I see on
Instagram.
Tik TOK now is getting boring. Two months ago, I fucking searched animals with
down syndrome.
And now I just keep getting like every other one is a koala work. You know what
I mean? It's crazy.
Oh my God. That's an, yeah. I do it. And they're cuter when they have it.
Well, the, the, the koala is. Look at the koala with this little fat tongue
sticking out.
I didn't know that they got down syndrome. I think they all do. Yeah.
Anyway, seeds. Let's go back to seed. Dude, that's me. There I am. That's my
kid. Yeah.
You want seeds. I think there's going to be a, come to a time when peak oil,
right?
When peak oil happens. Peak oil. You know, peak oil. When we run out of oil.
No, it's not when we run out. We get to the top precipice of where oil, right?
We can get it.
And then the demand is going to be too high, high because the, the, the, the
world is growing population wise.
And we have bigger, like, um, we have empires, not like India and China. Right.
And so when it, we can't have the demand, that's when things start breaking
down because, um, fossil fuel isn't something that you can just make. It's just
there.
And then once you're done with it all, it's not there anymore.
We'll find something by then.
Well, hopefully. But my point is that after peak oil, and then all of a sudden
we can't get blueberries from Mexico or whatever.
You don't need them.
Okay. Okay. Then you can't get plantains from Brazil.
But look at this. It suggests between 2028 and 2035. I will say we will find a
continuation of alternative solutions.
When we're put in a corner, humans do great things. Have you seen, by the way,
Japanese are using kinetic energy to, to, to now try to, um, power cities,
entire cities.
They have these things on the ground that you walk on just regular sidewalks
and by stepping on it right there, that's their triangles.
No, no, no. Do the one that's triangles down that one.
Wow.
So these are, these are kinetic energy, uh, walkways and they're putting them
all over Japan.
When they walk, they capture the kinetic energy, which turns into electricity,
powering an entire city.
Amazing.
So the proposition is that this will be all over major cities, New York,
Chicago, Miami, where there's a lot of foot traffic and it will end up powering
the city itself.
Look, dude, the smartest people in the world are continuing to work on great
shit. I'm not saying.
I just don't know. I mean, why don't we have it now then?
Everything takes time.
I know, but they're making it for themselves though.
But Jimmy Carter, back when he was president, we're talking about, he was
talking about peak oil back then.
I know.
This is a danger.
I know, but look, it's not happened yet. We keep putting shit off.
Look, dude, we're all dead. I got so many microplastics.
I know.
I pissed a Lego yesterday.
I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.
I mean, it's like, it's fucked. You know, whenever I go to eat sushi now, they're
like, yeah, you get too much sushi. It's you're going to blank, blank, blank.
Well, fine. I like the sushi.
I like sushi. I'm going to keep eating poisoned fish from the sea.
Drinking this, you get a little microplastic.
Right. Again, what am I supposed to do?
Exactly.
What are we supposed to do?
Get a well.
Get a well.
Yes.
Dig a well.
Yeah.
And then there's piss and poop in the well somehow.
You see the way people act in public?
And I'm like, no shit, we're fucked.
Like what?
The way that we, okay, we were going, we were going to try to get a car to go
to the airport and there was traffic, like crazy traffic because they're doing
something to the expressway again in Chicago.
And these people were waiting outside of the hotel to get autographs from the
hockey team was in town and the LA Kings were staying there.
And the way these men would like bump in front of each other and throw each
other out of the way to get an autograph from another grown man.
I'm like, oh, we're fucked.
We're fucked.
Grown men.
Yeah.
Like, I mean, literally fighting for airtime space to have another man sign a
piece of paper that most likely they want to sell.
They're not going to keep it.
And they're not making a living off of this.
They're just, they just want the satisfaction.
But they were like fighting.
I was like, we're fucked.
As a society, we're fucked.
I've never asked for an autograph.
Have you?
Absolutely.
When I was a kid, when I was a child.
I didn't know anybody.
Well, you were, you were deprived of all.
Maybe the local barber.
Look at that.
Your autographs are for sale online.
There you go.
That was someone you signed at the airport.
Yeah, that is, that is my signature.
Yes.
100%.
Yeah.
How much is it going for?
$67.
Oh, don't laugh.
Mine's less.
For sure.
Andrew Santino, $30 is mine.
That's 85.
Look at Andrew Santino autograph.
$26.
Max.
I won't breach 30.
59, 42.
I'm less.
See?
49.
$24 because it's you and I together.
Wow.
$30.
Do people buy it?
No.
Somebody must.
It exists.
Oh, that's a $50 what?
Just one of our tour posters?
Mm-hmm.
With all of us?
Or just you and I?
Just you and I.
Wow.
That's a little offensive.
Yeah.
It's 15% off.
When did they decide to take it down?
Well, it's been up for 15 years.
Nice.
Dude.
Dude, dude.
Dude.
These kids are going.
No, can I just say something?
That tone was insane.
That was crazy, dude.
It's an addict's paradise.
Oh, yeah.
That's what it was.
Hey.
Happy birthday, Andreas.
Happy birthday, Fancy.
Thank you.
You said.
You said.
Thank you for being a bye friend.