Name: Bobby Lee STORMED OUT After This?!
Uploaded: 2025-05-28T16:01:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee STORMED OUT After This?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee STORMED OUT After This?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-28. Transcript available.

- Yeah, two million, yeah, two million, baby.
Thank you so much, you know what I mean?
- Oh my, you shoot yourself?
- Yes.
- That's so funny.
You deserve that.
You know?
- Yeah, today we don't have Carlos
because you were so mad at him, I put him on the band.
- Well, you know, I just came up with a new nickname
with Andrew and I, I'm Little China and he's Big Trouble.
- Big Trouble, Little China?
No, you're in Big Trouble with me.
- No, no, no, you're Big Trouble and I'm the Little China.
- I asked you for one favor.
- I asked you for one favor.
- What was yours?
I said, I'm at a-
- Do my show?
- I'm at a business dinner, I can't make it there.
I'm at a dinner.
- Yeah, and I was on a date.
- Time out.
You were on a date, I called the date, I-
- What's better,
or business?
- We'll say it together, one, two, three.
- Business!
- It's business, three, four to, three to one.
- You can't play this game.
Look at him, he looks like an accountant.
He's an accountant part three, the new one,
and this next one, and this guy, he's a in-sell.
- No, he's an out-sell, he's been doing really well lately.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He told me in the car ride over here, he's doing great.
- Anyway, um-
- No, I'm mad at you, I called Bobby.
- I'm mad at you more.
- Nice try, dude.
- Good, good one.
- Nice try.
- Look at your face, dude.
- Nice try.
- It's a sad face.
- You get all red, and you know in your eyes-
-
- In your eyes, dude, you know you're wrong.
I just realized he's wrong, dude.
- Did you put all that flair on your hat?
Did you place those pins on your hat?
- No, it came that way.
- Loser.
- That's right.
- You look like a truck stop.
- You can call me-
- You loser.
You look like a Buc-ee's.
You look like you got that at a Buc-ee.
Did you go down to Austin and get all that gear, you loser?
- No, I got it shipped here for a long time.
- You know what's really annoying?
I wanted to make fun of your shirt,
and we're wearing the same color of like diarrhea shirts today.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- This shirt I thought was a different color
when I ordered it, and it's like poo.
- Yeah, it's-
- It's baby poo.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's like runny baby poo.
- Well, I mean, no, are you on a safari?
What is going on, dude?
Look, look.
What did I do?
I met with a Korean friend.
I'm not gonna say who.
I met with someone who loves you, who loves us.
You couldn't come meet him with me.
He was a big fan.
He was upset that we couldn't, you weren't there.
That's fine, and that's fine.
Then I called Bobby, you guys, for your reference.
I said, "Bob, all I need is a couple of fun Korean phrases
to say to him for the show."
He goes, "Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay."
I go, "Just text me.
Just text me three things."
And then he goes, "Okay, okay, I will when I stop,
when we're driving, when we stop."
Okay, fine.
Hours, hours, hours.
Nothing.
Nothing.
And he says, "I'm on a date."
He's on a date with a girl that I made laugh,
by the way, I gave him a layup.
He's on a date with a girl, he puts me on speakerphone,
and I said, "No, you didn't, no, wait, wait."
I'll tell you what you said.
You fucked.
You fucker, dude.
I know what you said.
- What did I say?
- So, he calls me.
I pick up, I'm on speakerphone in my car, right?
And I, as soon as I pick up, I go to Andrew, I go,
"Watch what you say.
You know, I'm on a date, right?"
And he goes, "How did the surgery go on your nut sack?"
That, that-
- Did you get that thing burnt off?
- Burnt off.
And she wasn't laughing like-
- Cracking up.
- No.
- She was dying laughing.
- This is how she was laughing.
She was like, looking at me like this.
Like, as if it was true, dude.
- What did you say?
Yeah, I got them burnt off, it's fine.
- Yeah, I was playing along with it.
And then when we hung up, I had to tell her,
"Oh, that was a joke."
I was like, "Really?"
- She knows. - Fuck you, dude.
- She knows it was a joke.
- You're trying to sabotage me there, guy.
- Do you think she's dating a rocket scientist?
She knows who she's dating, it's a comic.
- Yeah, I told her I was a rocket scientist.
- A scientist?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Do you look the part?
- Anyway, so-
- So I was upset.
- No, so I'm doing a show in the belly room, okay?
Tickets were bad.
- It sold out.
It sold out, I looked online, it sold out.
- No.
- You're a liar.
Do you want me to call the store right now?
I know it sold out.
- You know why it sold out?
- Why did it sell out?
- 'Cause I put your name on the flyer.
- No, no, you didn't.
First of all, first of all, my name-
- Okay, let's stop.
- My name wasn't on the flyer
because I looked at the website A and B,
it already sold out.
You're a liar.
- I'm not a liar.
- Dude, you're lying.
- I'm not a liar.
- Don't lie to our fans.
- I'm not lying to anybody.
- We got 2 million subscribers and you're lying.
- Congratulations to us.
- To us, thank you for 2 million subscribers.
Jesus, dude.
- Let me say something.
- How many more of those do you have?
- Don't do another one, it scared the shit out of me.
I had non-flashbacks.
- Charlie, down, down.
- Down, down, down.
- Yeah, stop that.
- Helpful, helpful.
- All right, so I'm struggling to sell out the belly room.
- This is so not true.
It was sold out.
McCone and I looked online, it was sold out.
- After I put his name on the flyer.
- That's not true.
- Yes, it is.
- Here's how I know you're lying.
We were-
- Andreas.
- He doesn't know.
- Bob is right.
- Are you out of your mind right now?
- Thank you.
- Are you literally out of your mind right now?
- He's having trouble selling the belly room.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, I'm having trouble.
- Oh my God.
- So I was like, you know, who do I, I need a favor.
- You're gonna piss me off so hard.
- Can I have my point of view?
- It's, but it's-
- In court, I get my time on the stand.
- But you have to swear on the Bible, this is a lie.
- I'll swear on-
- Swear on the kitty.
- The kitty, okay?
- But so, I swear.
- I swear to God.
- Okay, so I get this belly room show.
It's a new joke night.
And I'm like, we put it on the market and it's slow.
- Yeah.
- Because of the economy and whatnot.
And it's also, you know, my name doesn't have
the kind of value it does.
- It's just so annoying.
It's like-
- I don't care, I get my time in court.
I get my-
- Your honor, objection.
- I get my time in court, do I not?
- He does.
- You're in contempt right now.
Like, I might have to use some of my friends.
So I call Whitney Cummings.
- Yeah.
- And guess what?
Twice Whitney showed up for me.
Tim Dillon showed up for me last week, okay?
And I was sure that my best friend, right?
When you think about friend, right?
You think about a man, right?
Your best friend, a man that's a ride or die, right?
That no matter what's going on, he's gonna be there for me.
- Totally.
- And that's what the definition of friendship.
It's a love.
It's a brotherhood, right?
If we were in the army, another Vietnam reference, okay?
Right?
I would need his back in a war-like situation.
- You would hide behind me.
- You know what?
And you're right, when I wasn't selling tickets,
I hid behind you because I needed you.
- No, no, no.
- Okay, so then once I put Andrew's name on the flyer, right?
Oh, that's the tickets going up.
- Do you guys smell this?
Do you smell that?
Do you seriously smell that?
- No.
- It seriously smells like gas.
You gaslighting piece of shit.
- That's a good joke.
- You're such a piece of shit.
- No, you're done!
- I'm not done!
- You're done!
- Right, so then as soon as I put his name on the flyer-
- No, this is-
- Right, right?
And so now I'm at the show, right?
And I'm calling Andrew-
- Driving me nuts.
- Asher, Nick Thune showed up for me.
You know, I don't even know Nick that well.
Showed up for me.
And then all of a sudden I go,
just get here from 8:30 to 9:00.
I did text you that.
- And what did I say?
- Nothing.
- I'm at a business dinner.
I can't make, I'll show it.
- I'll show it too, right here.
- I'll show it.
- No, let me show it first.
- I'll show it.
- All right, so Andrew Santino.
- Bobby Lee.
- All right, all right, so Andrew-
- What time is it?
I have a dinner, 8:30 to 9:00.
And then what did I say?
I'm not able to head over after dinner.
I was out of-
- Oh, that's so funny.
- Trying to secure some stuff for us.
- Stop, because you know what?
It's so funny what you're doing, right?
- Read it.
- I am gonna read it.
It does say that, but can I say this?
You go, what time is it I'm at dinner?
That's at 6:50.
- Seven o'clock, the dinner was a 7:30 dinner.
- Okay, stop, okay.
- Then I say at 6:50 immediately,
just get here from 8:30 to 9:00.
Then you text me at 10:30 after the show's over.
- Sorry, I couldn't come.
- After the show's over.
So the whole time I'm like going out to the lot
is like, I don't see Andrew's car.
Hey guys, is Andrew here?
No, no show, right?
I'm running around like a fucking animal, dude, right?
And I'm going, he's not here.
And then at 10:30 when the show's over,
then you text me and that's the truth right here.
- You can read it right here, truth.
So your honor, I rest my case.
- Now I have a surprise for you.
- And then the next day you call me and go,
hey, can you do something racist for my Korean buddy
I'm doing an interview for?
- Racist?
I just wanted some Korean language.
I wanted some words in Korean.
- No, your honor, I don't want to do something racist
against another Korean person.
- No, I wanted words to help me understand.
- Is somebody in there that's shaked?
Is somebody in there that's shaked?
- Is someone in the cake?
- Yeah, somebody's peeing in there or something's in there.
You know what it is?
You know what it is?
- Huh?
- It's fucking Carlo, right?
Carlos is in here, right?
And he's in here.
And I'm going to say this right now, dude.
If Carlos pops out of there,
I will literally get up and leave the podcast, all right?
I don't want anyone to get out of there
until we're done with this podcast, right?
So, an hour later, that better not open until the end.
- Who's in there?
- I don't care who's in there.
- What if it's someone that you love?
- But it's not.
- What if it's someone you love?
- It's Carlos, 'cause he's not there.
You think I'm dumb?
And let me say something about last week,
about the fucking Trump letter, okay?
All right?
And I was on therapy today,
and I swear to God on my mother's life,
if something pops out of there,
until we say thank you for being a fat friend,
I will fucking leave.
I don't give a fuck.
- Right. - Okay?
- Okay. - So whoever's in there,
I hope you took a piss,
and I took a shit,
'cause you're gonna stay there for the next hour.
All right?
And so that's the fact.
- Okay. - Whoever's listening,
I know if you're a girl,
beautiful girl, whatever, a stripper, whatever.
- What if it is a beautiful girl?
- I'll forgive it.
But if it's Carlos Herrera, right?
I will fucking leave.
- Come on out, beautiful girl.
- Go get 'em.
Go get 'em, Mr. Cake.
- Bob, why are you mad?
- Go get 'em.
Go get 'em, Mr. Cake.
- You stayed in there for the whole hour.
- Bro, I just--
- You don't even listen to me.
That was the rule.
- Go!
- That's good, that's good.
Go get 'em, go, go, go.
Go out there with 'em.
- I'll see you later.
- Three hours later.
- And I did it to be funny.
- Yeah, yeah. - We're friends.
- Just go for the day.
- This is, no, that's crazy, bro.
- Why, why?
- It's crazy.
- Andrew, can you back me up for once?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Woo-hoo.
- Yeah.