Name: Andrew Santino's HILARIOUS Russian Accent
Uploaded: 2025-06-06T17:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino's HILARIOUS Russian Accent' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino's HILARIOUS Russian Accent' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-06. Transcript available.

Richard Kind told me this, an old Jewish joke.
He said, a Jewish kid asks his Jewish father for $100.
And the dad says, $60? What do you need $20 for?
That's a great job. That's a good job.
I would never do it for country.
You're not doing it for country either, and you know that.
But so some of these men had wives and children.
These are stronger men than we.
And I'll admit that.
People go to the military.
Your wife and your child.
We don't have any kids.
No, but in this scenario.
Okay, but I don't.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, my.
How many kids?
Do I have weigh-ins kids?
I got 10?
No, you have more raw kids.
You have six.
Seven.
What?
What?
I wouldn't do it.
So your children will die.
I don't give a shit.
I'll be dead too.
We'll all be dead in heaven together.
But if you go in, they will not die.
Yeah, but then I won't be with them.
I'll be with them in the afterlife.
Ah.
Thank you.
Would you like their position in the government?
Oh.
I like your thinking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
How many rubles is that?
20,000 rubles.
20,000 rubles?
That's right.
I don't know where.
I don't know where that went.
What's that old Russian saying?
If you hit me with a feather, I'll hit you back with a tank.
Is that right?
Yes.
Jesus Christ.
That's fucking brutal.
I was just playing with my chicken.
I'm sorry.
Live a century.
Learn a century.
Oh, these are right.
Without effort, you can't even.
Do it in a Russian accent though.
Without effort, you can't even pull a fish out of the pond.
Don't have 100 rubles, but have 100 friends.
By the way, that's government fucking propaganda.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look, so you are poor.
You eat your toenails for breakfast.
Big fucking deal.
You're friends.
Yeah, yeah.
Look, it's all about friends.
Measure seven times, cut once.
What does that mean?
It's saying if you're making something, like if it's diligent.
That's like, that's Japanese shit too.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
The eyes are afraid, the hands do.
Yeah.
I like wolf analogies here.
Give me the wolf one.
Work is not a wolf.
It won't run away into the forest.
No shit.
Brother.
I wish my waiting job ran into the forest.
This is all government propaganda.
Yeah, that's crazy.
You know, Yakov Smirnoff was telling me about that,
that how accustomed you get to hearing when he was a kid
on the speaker systems.
Wow.
Just constant propaganda.
Yeah.
And I said, what was like the main theme of the Soviet Union?
Like as a kid, like what were they trying to do to say to kids versus adults?
Yeah.
And he was like, they constantly put it in children's heads that Americans
specifically.
Yeah.
Were the worst version of humanity alive.
Wow.
Awful people.
Yeah.
Bad, bad, evil people.
Yeah.
And they paint this picture over and over and over.
And you inherently will, you just 100% believe it.
Yeah.
And I was like, how did you have the wherewithal to not?
Hmm.
You know, he's like, it just, I guess something just didn't make sense about it.
Wow.
But I was like, that's, how is that?
How do you have that?
Yeah.
You know, what's also funny about him is, is that when I saw him at the comedy
store.
I fucking love Yakov.
Yeah.
The only thing that I remember from his act from years ago was what a country.
What a country.
So I rewatched his Rodney Dangerfield.
Oh yeah.
He's got great jokes.
He still does.
Yeah.
He still does.
He's a good joke writer.
He's a great joke writer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
By the way, when I got off my plane today.
Yeah.
The pilot, you know, I'm seeing the pilots are saying goodbye.
What do you say?
The pilot goes, one Kakatai.
I'm not kidding.
What does that even mean?
It was something I said on this show years ago.
Bad friends?
Yeah.
You said something about cactus.
You were like, you're like, it was only one Kakatai.
And I was like, one Kakatai.
Really?
Of all the Bobby moms that I get.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That one, I literally go, yes, dude.
Yeah.
One Kakatai.
One Kakatai.
Oh.
You know what, dude?
One Kakatai.
Don't do that.
Don't.
One Kakatai.
Wow.
But the pilot goes, one Kakatai.
By the way, this is going to haunt me.
Did you laugh?
I cried.
I thought I go right on, dude, one Kakatai.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That one's, because the Bobby mom doesn't get me anymore.
Yeah.
You know, I'm so glad you got sick on that plane.
I didn't get sick.
I lost my voice last night.
No, no, no.
No, when you passed out with Machine Gun Kelly.
Yeah.
Because I saw Machine Gun Friday.
Did you go to his house?
No, I went to his, he just showed up at the store.
He invited us to a party.
He did?
Yeah.
And he hugged me as if we were like Vietnam vets.
He's the fucking best.
One of the nice-
In my mind, I'm like, I'm so glad Andrew almost died.
Just for that relationship to, you know what I mean, flourish.
Thank you.
It was incredible.
No, it was.
Yeah.
Yeah, of all the Bobby moms I get, I got them.
I was in Vegas this weekend.
It's a million Bobby moms everywhere.
Wow.
The dealer.
Yeah, the dealer said Bobby mom?
Yeah, he goes, hey, Bobby mom.
They call me Bobby mom.
Yeah, yeah.
They don't fucking, I think some of them don't know my, some guy said Anthony
Santini.
And I was like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just call me Bobby mom.
Oh, Yakov called you Santana.
Santana, yeah.
Santana.
He didn't say your first name.
He goes, well, Santana told me, you know what I mean?
And I'm like, that's not his name.
I am good at guitar.
Okay.
So people are saying that Vegas is kind of dead.
Is it true or no?
You know, it's interesting.
I talked to, as we were going to the airport in the Uber, I was asking the guy,
like, how long
you've lived, I'm always curious about the Uber drivers in Vegas.
I'm like, how long have you lived here?
Where are you from?
Because most of them are foreign.
This guy lived there for like 30 years.
And I said, how much of the strip is like, because I don't remember it really.
Like, I just go to my fucking hotel, do my show or gig and then go home.
And he was, they're knocking down the Mirage.
They're putting up the hard rock.
They're putting a big guitar up there.
Wow.
I read this thing the other day, literally the other day, that Excalibur and
those other
ones are not, no more valet, no more like room service and shit.
Yeah.
So like the ones that are thriving are thriving, but the ones that are diving
are diving bad.
Like it's, it's, the dispersion's insane.
Tourism.
Well, then they're sold too.
Well, they're, yeah, right.
Excalibur, like we said, Excalibur, there's ones in the South Strip are sold
and they're
dilapidated.
Yeah.
You know?
Talk about, speaking of dilapidated.
And he hits the mic, right?
Yeah.
Hello.
What's up, buddy?
Konnichiwa.
Konnichiwa.
Konnichiwa.
Arigatou gozaimasu for sending me to Japan.
Arigatou gozaimasu.
Hai, gozaimasu gozaimasu.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dax Flame is back.
Back from Japan.
Dax, do you need headphones or you don't use them?
He never likes them.
Yeah, I don't like to use them.
How was our little, uh, yeah, take your clothes off.
Yeah, take your clothes.
Get loose, dude.
So, um.
By the way, I've never not seen you with four layers on.
It doesn't matter what temperature it is outside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guy wears two undershirts, a pullover, a quarter zip, a jacket.
How is the flight going there?
Good.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
What does that mean?
What do you mean?
It was nice and easy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tokyo to LAX.
Yeah.
The LAX to Tokyo one.
I watched two Lord of the Rings movies.
I'd never seen any of those.
Well, no, because I've seen a bunch of times.
What'd you think of them?
They were awesome.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I watched them.
You didn't see Return of the King?
On the way back, I watched it.
Oh, you did.
And I'd actually seen that one when I was a kid.
But, um, yeah, out of order.
So I don't think, I didn't remember it at all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How'd you see an out of order?
You mean on TV?
Uh, I just, my uncle invited me to go see it and I had not seen the first two
and I just
watched that whenever it came out.
So I would have been like 12 or something.
Did something happen with your uncle?
Yeah.
No, no.
Anything?
No.
Uh, no.
Did he go like, let's go swimming?
Uh, I don't.
Did your uncle take you on vacations?
No.
I didn't spend much time with him.
He, uh, I don't remember him ever swimming.
Yeah.