Name: Bobby Lee Embarrasses Himself In Front of Shia LaBeouf
Uploaded: 2025-06-20T17:15:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Embarrasses Himself In Front of Shia LaBeouf' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Embarrasses Himself In Front of Shia LaBeouf' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-20. Transcript available.

Um, is it hard to, I mean, I'm just gonna sound stupid.
I just need to throw it out, because I'm dumb, you know what I mean?
Is it hard to write a movie?
Hey, listen, if you had Stormy Daniels on, would you say, where do you get your
ideas?
Yeah, we actually, she's coming on after this, isn't she?
She's later?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Is it hard to write a movie?
Dear David Mamet.
Is it hard to write a movie?
I'm not Hotoysh Anani or whatever his name is.
One of the f***ing...
Shohei Otani.
Yeah, whatever his name is.
Write it down.
I can't hit it every time.
Hoche Anani.
Hoche Anani.
I can't hit it every time, dude.
You know what I mean?
I'm sorry, dude.
I just throw it out there.
Yeah, well, don't throw either.
Just underhand.
Ask him what you really want to ask him.
Be honest.
That's not a bad question.
There had to be some...
I got you.
There had to be some harder than the others.
Well, it is very hard to...
Shia, protect it.
I'll tell you, I wrote this play a long time ago called American Buffalo, and
it was a
series of sketches about these thieves I was hanging out with playing poker,
and they
were really good, and I did it off-Broadway with a bunch of sketches, and a guy
called
Ulu Grossbard, who was a great director.
You should see his movie Straight Time.
Ulu Grossbard comes to me and says, if you can figure out the plot, I'll put it
on Broadway.
So, I went from being an out-of-war cab driver, to I had to sit down and figure
out how to
write a plot, which is very difficult.
And then he put it on Broadway, so I said, oh, I get it.
I know what keeps the asses in the seats, a plot, which means making the
audience wonder
what happens next.
That's a plot.
If you can write a plot, the dialogue doesn't have to be good, which we know
because we see
films in translation.
We want to know what happens next.
Oh, wow.
So, it's very hard to write a plot because it's an equation, and the mind
always wants
to come up with the easiest thing, right?
But the easiest thing is probably not the best thing, because if you can beat
yourself to
the punchline, the audience can beat you to the punchline.
So, in comedy, what you got to do is you got to beat the audience to the punchline.
Give them enough to wonder what happens next, right?
A penguin, a nun, and a rhinoceros go into a whorehouse, yeah, they want to
know what happens
next.
I do.
Yeah, I do really want to know.
Of course.
I do want to know.
So, what does happen?
What?
What does happen?
You know.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You climb inside the rhino and the butthole.
The penguin fox the nun, and the rhinoceros eats them both.
I'm wrong.
Oh, no, that's not it?
No, I was saying we climb inside the rhino and the butthole.
But let me tell you, a penguin, a nun, and an ostrich go into a whorehouse.
Where's the rhino?
An old brick.
He's taking tickets.
And they say, the whorehouse is an old brick building on a quiet residential
street.
The kind of street where maybe your grandfather and grandmother were.
I want to know what happened in the whorehouse.
I don't want you to tell me about how it was built.
Right.
But do you ever write with other people, though?
Or do you just, you, okay, I'm trying to help you, bro.
I'm trying to help you from the slot, you know.
Yeah, a couple of times I wrote with other people, but at some point I stopped
doing it
because even when I wrote with them, I say, you know, thanks a lot, go sit down.
Tell us about your time in Chicago.
Can you, though?
Because we talked a little bit off air about when he was talking about, you
know, prior
to Steppenwolf and prior to theater in the city.
Yeah.
What were you doing?
I was, well, I got out of college and I was unemployable because I didn't know
anything.
I didn't know anybody.
And the idea that someone was going to support me, meaning my parents, was unheard
of.
Yeah.
I mean, both in my generation and in my family.
So I was like, I came back and I got a bunch of jobs.
I worked at everything in the world because you could always get a job in
Chicago.
And I got involved in theater and I saw some stuff that I found very
provocative.
So I started writing plays about it.
Right.
One was, as I said, I used to play in this poker game with a bunch of thieves.
And I really, and then I used to work in a boiler room selling land over the
telephone.
Boiler room used to be, you put 20 guys on a phone in a room and they have to
call up
to people and say, oh, you know, Mr. Lee, I see that you were interested in
land because
you wrote in for our brochure about land in Arizona.
It's kind of like Glenn Gary, no or no?
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I got, I saw these things that, that interested me and then I started
writing, reading Chekhov's
plays, Anton Chekhov.
Is that the Star Trek guy or?
The other one.
Star Wars, not Star Trek.
Star Wars.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just threw it out there.
Oh, there's a guy called Chekhov and Star Wars?
No, no.
Hey, wait a second.
I got a question for you people.
How do you, how do you remember the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars?
I can tell you, you got to see a million things about it.
What are you talking about?
He can tell you, he can tell you.
He's obsessed with Star Trek.
They're completely different worlds.
What's your Star Trek?
Star Trek is based in Earth, on Earth, like the society that we live in.
Yeah.
But like hundreds of years from now.
Yeah.
And then we have a, you know, what's so funny?
It's a crew, it's a, the Enterprise, it's a crew of explorers from Earth.
Yeah.
It's William Shatner.
Yes.
It's William Shatner.
It's Shatner.
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Did you like him?
Well.
Yeah, because I, I, I, I'm mad at him because he fucked me once.
Not, not literally, but in a job.
How?
Oh my God, it was the worst.
I get a call from, um, build, the Billboard Awards.
Remember that you said these stupid award shows, these annoying award shows?
I don't remember that.
Okay, we want you to do a sketch with William Shatner because they knew I was a
Star Trek
fan.
And I go, yeah, I'll do it.
So they fly me in.
It's basically a scene with me and William Shatner at a poker table.
Right?
So I'm sitting there waiting for William Shatner.
Right?
And he comes in and there was another guy that they hired too from LA.
I forgot.
It was a black guy.
I love black people.
Anyway, anyway, Willie Shatner goes in and he goes, you're out, you're out.
And then they dragged me out of the tent and he goes, he just rewrote it just
now.
So I got back on the plane and flew back to LA.
Wow.
Yeah.
Whoa.
William Shatner, no blacks, no Asians.
That's his way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now we know who he really is.
No Aurora and no fucking cop.
No, no, but wait a second.
I got a question about William Shatner, okay?
Yeah.
It just occurred to me.
Yeah.
He's reading his newspaper out in the back by his swimming pool, right?
And his wife, who was an Olympic, like an AAU swimmer, is swimming around the
pool, swimming around the pool, swimming around the pool.
And she comes over and apparently, according to him, he put his foot
accidentally on her head and she drowned.
She died.
Yeah.
My question is, what was he reading?
I'm sober.
I'm a good guy.
But speaking of, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Speaking of Louis C.K., dude, speaking of Louis C.K., we're talking about Louis.
That when we were doing this JFK movie, I know him from around, right?
Mm-hmm.
And he was considering playing Jack Ruby against his Lee Harvey.
Wow.
How awesome would that be?
You guys know him, too, huh?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice guy?
Yeah.
Also, you know.
I get so nervous around him, dude.
Also one of the greatest comedic writers that we've ever seen.
That's what I'm saying.
It's to be the same thing that I initially, like, it's the same kind of thing.
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
So, wait a second.
So, I called up Louis, so we're starting this new thing, right?
We're going right to the people and called up Louis because I knew he was doing
it.
I said, what's the secret?
He said, there's no secret.
Call up my guy.
I call up the guy.
The guy says, yeah, there's no secret.
You go online, henryjohnsonmovie.com.
Yep.
You put up an Instagram, whatever the fuck that thing is.
Right.
And you go out and you talk to people like you and people buy your product.
That's the secret.
Yeah, that's it.
Is there.