Name: Pranking Insects w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Uploaded: 2025-08-07T18:30:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pranking Insects w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pranking Insects w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-07. Transcript available.

And so whenever, sometimes you'll see like an ant by itself.
You know what I mean?
- Panic.
- Just by himself, it's crazy.
Imagine, dude, imagine being an ant
and then seeing someone, you know what I mean?
A human, this gigantic mountain thing, right?
So I saw an ant grab a cracker.
- Like a full size cracker?
- No, it was like a chunk of a cracker.
But you know what I mean?
He's like, I'm gonna bring this to the village.
So from the kitchen, I tracked him.
I let him carry it for a long time.
- That's nice of you.
- Right?
All the way to the living room,
which probably took about two hours, right?
I scooped him back up and I made him start over.
- Oh my God.
- I made him start over.
You know?
- Yeah.
- What the dude?
That's the ant.
And I let him do it again.
You gotta teach him a lesson.
- You gotta teach him a lesson.
- You can't just crush him.
- People's attitude towards those bugs wide,
but harming or killing bugs,
important to find strong disapproval of such actions.
Find him cruel and unethical.
Even concerning psychological tendencies in children.
Undeveloped empathy and psychopathic behavior.
What do you think?
- What you're telling me is this.
When Dahmer was a kid.
- That was in the movie.
- That was in the movie.
- Right.
- That was in the movie.
- Hit a bag of bones, right?
If I hit a bag of ants, it would be the same sign?
- Pretty close.
- I don't think so.
- Well, it's near.
- I don't, if I had a jar of dead ants,
I don't think it's the same as bones.
- Wait a minute, dude.
You have a whole jar of ants?
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's even crazier.
- How many are in the jar?
- Six million?
- Six million?
- I have an Auschwitz of ants in a jar.
So what you're saying to me right now is if you had a son.
- Yeah.
- I was in the backyard.
- Hey, buddy, what were you doing out back?
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
It seems like you have stuff in your hands in your pockets.
What is that?
- Nothing.
- No, show me your hands, bud.
I want to see.
Oh my God, is that?
- That's right.
- That's a bunch of dead grasshoppers?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
Why do you have so many?
What are you doing?
- I like to pluck the wings.
- You pluck the wings off the grasshoppers?
- Yeah, and then they still alive when I pluck the wings.
- Oh my God.
- And you know what they do?
They get, I hurt them so good.
- And you like this?
- Feel good.
I get, daddy, daddy, I get hard when I do that.
- Well, I'm glad I'm divorcing your mom.
- Anyway, I pluck the wings, right?
And then what I do is I take a stick.
- Yeah.
- A little teeny stick, and I die.
- You poke out their eyes.
- I poke out, right?
You know what I do?
Then they go swirly.
- Oh my God.
- 'Cause they don't know what's going on.
So they go in a circle.
They go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hello, adoption agency?
- You would do that.
- We want to give them back.
- Yeah.
What would you do this?
You're my adopted son, obviously.
- Obviously in this scenario, yes.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
What about this?
When they adopt a kid from Russia, does this happen?
- Mm-hmm.
- And you know, Russian kids.
- Crazy.
- I don't know, maybe.
- Gotta be.
- Knife work.
- Knife work.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They know how to do that.
- They do.
- What is that called?
- Yeah, I like that.
- The blade.
- The butterfly.
- Yeah, yeah.
- What, the butterfly knife.
They can do that.
That's.
Dude, watch this.
Do Google a kid with a butterfly knife.
I guarantee he's a Russian kid who knows how to do it.
- Yeah.
- 100%.
If you adopt a Russian kid who can butterfly knife.
- Right.
Or daddy, you want to play a game?
And then you know that, that.
Right?
Like, remember in Aliens?
Was it Aliens?
- Aliens.
- The robot.
- Look at this, there's a little Russian girl right now.
- Right.
- Obviously playing with a butterfly knife.
- Yeah.
- And her dad is like, "Very good girl, very good girl."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yes, you have to learn.
- Yeah.
So if you had a Russian kid, he was doing some shady shit.
- Oh yeah.
- He's three years old, dropped him from Russia.
- Yeah.
- Like, you wake up one night, right?
And he's just standing over you with a fucking butterfly knife.
And for some reason, a spatula, right?
- Good morning, baby.
- You know what I mean?
Or, you know, what would you,
what would it take for you to go, go back to Russia?
- It would make a good fight scene for sure
out of me and the kid.
I mean, I'd have to fight him.
He's obviously instigating a fight.
Then butterfly knife and the spatula?
Is he gonna cook me something or we're gonna fight?
- Yeah, I made spaghetti, daddy.
- Okay.
- Do you want pasta?
- No, you're going back, dude.
- Really?
- We're putting you back on the boat.
- Yeah, I think, I don't know how,
but that would really traumatize the kid.
- He traumatized me.
- I know.
- I don't need that.
- But can't you change him?
- No, dude, that's what they say.
And then Dahmer's dad was like,
"We can't believe he was boiling body."
- Oh, that's right.
- Like they acted like they didn't know
it was coming the whole time.
- Right.
- That's what you do, you cannot change that.
Back on the boat.
Back on the boat.
- There's a lot of signs, you know what I mean?
And I get it like, if you're emo.
- Emo's different than psychotic.
- Emo's different than psychotic.
- For sure.
- What I'm saying is, one of the signs,
probably 'cause I've never had children.
- Right.
- But if your son doesn't have any friends,
like, okay, so I'm your son.
I have no friends, dog.
- Well, let's get you some friends, buddy.
- I don't want friends.
I want to stay in the room forever, dog.
- Okay, what are you doing in the room though?
- What?
- I'm plucking fucking caterpillar wings, dad.
I'm plucking their eyes out, brah.
- All right, well, all right.
- What do you mean, all right, dad?
Comedy guy.
- Oh, man.
- Yeah, oh, man, what?
You know what I mean?
What kind of, dude, you know what?
Ron Howard had a better career than you, dad.
- Yeah, he did.
- Yeah, in terms of redheads, he's the top redhead.
- Well, I agree.
- Yeah, you know what, dad?
Fuck you, you know what, dad?
I have redheads too because of the genetic code.
I can't even get any pussy, dad,
'cause of your fucking bullshit.
- Well, that's your fault.
- No, it's your fault too, dad,
I'm gonna hear you freak.
- I'll kill you.
- That's where I'm going.
- I snapped, that lasted five seconds.
- That's what I'm trying to get to, yeah.
- Well, look at the behavioral traits
of kids who might be psychotic,
people who have cruelty to animals,
fascination with fire, ooh, that one to me for sure.
- Ooh, that's a good one.
- Persistent bedwetting, that's bedwetting, that's you.
- That's me, I still do that.
- Antisocial behavior, that's-
- What's an antisocial behavior?
- You don't wanna go talk to people,
you don't wanna be around people.
No, that's not us.
- Okay, that's not us.
Manipulative or deceitful behavior?
That's us, yeah.
- That's me for sure.
- Yeah, you manipulate, you're the king manipulator.
- Lack of empathy, I have empathy.
- Empathy and remorse, we have that.
- We have that.
- All right, aggression and violence, me, spades.
- Not me.
- Fascination with violence and death,
that's more you than me.
- Well, I liked Ballerina last night, I saw that.
That was pretty violent.
- Was it?
- What?
- It was violent?
- You don't know what Ballerina is?
- What is Ballerina?
- Well, let me explain it to you.
- John Wick.
- Oh, it's John Wick?
- So what they're trying to do is try to,
you know what I mean, expand the franchise.
- Oh God, I couldn't even get to the last one.
- It's loved.
- It was so bad.
- It was, you know what?
There was some disconnection in the,
I don't think it was directed well.
- But the last one wasn't good either.
I tried to watch it, it was so bad.
Oh, so they're having this girl, who is that girl?
- I don't know.
- That's, she plays the Ballerina?
- Yeah.
- This movie didn't do well?
She's huge.
- She's great in it too.
- She's so good.
- You know, here's what's sad about Ballerina, okay?
I'm not a fucking film critic, but.
- We are kinda.
- Yeah, we are kinda.
But when you're watching her,
you know she's trying so hard.
- To be evil?
- I mean, look at, she's doing all the John Wick shit.
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
Getting thrown over cabinets, you know what I mean?
I mean, doing.
- So she's doing her own stunts?
- Oh yeah.
And she's doing it and you're saying,
I wish this was a better movie for you
because you are doing such hard work.
- 'Cause she's busting ass.
- Busting your fucking ass.
- 106 million worldwide.
I gotta be honest with you,
I bet you the budget wasn't that high.
- Oh my God.
It had to be a hundred million dollar movie.
- No way.
Was it that visually stunning?
- It had to be.
The stunts and all that.
- Because the John Wick, his tradition.
- How much was Ballerina?
- 80 million.
- To 90 million, yeah.
It had to have been.
- Okay, because look at the John Wick franchise as a whole,
they started that whole thing with such low budget, nothing.
It was like 10, 20 million or something.
- Bubayaga.
- Bubayaga.
- I'm telling you, that's.
By the way, I watched the worst documentary
of all time last night.
- Let me guess what it is.
- What a waste of time.
- Can I guess the topic?
- I don't know what it is.
- What?
- What do I get if I guess it?
- Give anything you want.
What do you want?
- Poop cruise.
- That was poop cruise.
- Is it really?
- A hundred percent.
- Yeah, yeah.
I couldn't get past the 15 for 15 minutes.
- It sucked.
- It sucked.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- By the way, they made a five second story.
They made it a fucking hour movie.
It stinks.
- It stinks.
- And they should have told it from different perspectives.
They got like the most,
the least entertaining people to talk about it.
Get some weirdos.
Get some weirdos that were on the boat.
I want the guy, they have people being like,
it was out of control and there's poop coming out of the dreams.
No, I want the guy who's like,
I'm the one that made the tents and I was collecting poop.
I want that guy in the documentary.
Where's the weirdo?
- But was he in on the boat?
- You tell me there's not one of those guys
on a fucking carnival cruise line?
- Okay.
- Anybody that goes on these things,
first of all, is a maniac.
You know there's lifers.
They go on these things.
There's people that stay on cruises.
They just go cruise to cruise.
- When you ever see a TikTok with carnival cruise
and I look at the pool party, seems like a nightmare.
Number one, I'll tell you what.
- It looks insane at sea.
- Too many people.
- Way too many people.
- Music's not my thing.
That kind of music.
- Because it's constant.
Everywhere you go, it's-
- Give me the lute.
Give me the lute.
I don't know what they're playing.
- I do love that.
- I don't know what they're playing.
- I do love that.
- Like Biggie or something.
- I love give me the lute.
- I love give me the lute, the song.
- No, they're playing.
I'm on a boat, I don't want to hear it.
Give me the lute, give me the lute.
You know, I don't want to hear it, right?
Because it's like, I'm not, I've never done that.
- You don't do that.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never, you know, give me the lute.
I've never done that.
- Now, if it was Portishead, you'd be into it.
- Oh my God, yeah, yeah.
Well, you know what, Mazzy Star.
- Fine, Mazzy Star is great.
- Yeah, whatever, right?
- Well, that's a suicidal song on a boat.
Wouldn't be good.
- I know, but still I could cut with myself
with my emo friends, you know what I mean?
- So it's the music, too many people.
Give me another reason why you wouldn't go on that cruise.
- Well, I, buffets, you know, give me the creeps.
I have, I'm germaphobic.
I think buffet to me is night, nightmare.
Everyone's.
- Yeah. - In this shit.
- Exactly. - No, fuck that.
No, thank you.
Also, also there is something to be said about unlimited booze
and booze available all the time.
In a trapped environment. - Amen.
- Yeah, hallelujah, dude. - Okay, give me something.
- Can I go back to the buffet?
- Sure.
- Never trust a buffet without a glass paneling.
- Oh, bro. - Bro.
If there's no glass paneling, forget it.
And guess what?
Who's the fucker that has to clean that fucking thing?
- Bro. - Oh.
- Gross. - Oh God, you know what I mean?
It's people's breath.
- It's breaths and snot and hands and fingers.
- Yeah, it's gross.
All right, here's another thing.
I don't think that I'd be able to sleep well.
- On a boat?
- Because you'd have to pay extra to get a,
can you get a window room?
- I think they're all window rooms, right?
- There's no inland room?
- I would imagine, why would there be?
How could there be?
- Okay. - They all have to be on the outside of the boat.
- I would need a window.
- Uh-huh.
- Stop.
- Is the shower water, even without like,
is the shower water good?
- It's filtered clean water.
You can't, it's non-potable.
- Thank you.
- So you can't drink it, but you can shower with it.
- Why is that?
I want to shower in water that I can drink.
- I totally agree.
I totally agree.
Don't you, like, I can't put it in my body,
but I could put it outside my body.
- And by the way, this, it gets in my body when it's-
- The pores.
- Yeah, it's on my skin.
- Yeah, I want Fiji water for shower water.
- Yeah, 100%.
- Yeah.
- It contained bacteria, viruses, chemicals.
So yeah, you're, it's no, no, you can't drink it.
But also, I don't trust that they're not recycling water.
How do you know, how do I know?
- Yeah, you don't know.
- And you would never know.
- You never know.
Even the fucking water filter I have at my house,
sometimes I don't know.
I think it's bullshit.
- I think it's bullshit.
- We have filtered water at the house too,
and I'm like, this didn't do anything.
- This has high tech technology, five filters.
You have to use idiom and idiom.
You know what I mean?
And all these fucking things I don't even understand.
- And by the way, idiom and idiom,
how well do they work?
- Yeah, idiom and idiom.
But so here's another thing, activities, so-
- You're not doing any of those.
- Well, let's just throw them out.
I've never been on a cruise,
but I assume pool activities is one.
- Pool all day.
- Okay, number two, is there a movie theater?
There is a huge movie theater and a huge performance theater
where comedians and musicians and people go to perform.
Stop it.
- But what are they playing in the movie theater?
You know what they're playing.
- What? - What?
- What are they playing?
- What are they playing?
- What are they playing?
- I'm asking you, 'cause I've never been on a cruise.
- I've never fucking been.
- I've never been on a cruise.
So what do you think?
Okay, I'm on a boat.
- Yeah. - Honey?
- Hi.
- Let's go into the movie theater.
What's playing?
- Hi, welcome to movie theater.
We have three films available.
Which one would you like to see?
- You're saying to me?
- Yes. - Oh.
- We have three films there.
Which one would you like to see?
- Let me just read it.
Madea.
- Madea's showing in 10 minutes.
- Yeah, in 10 minutes?
- Yeah. - What is Madea?
- It's a beautiful heartfelt story.
- Yeah. - A family story.
- Yeah. - About a woman and her extended family.
- Yeah, no, thank you.
That's pretty much, is it a comedy?
- It's a comedy, yeah.
- Who is Madea, who plays Madea?
- Tyler Perry.
- Tyler Perry.
- Yes.
- Yeah, I know.
What's another movie that you have here?
- Oh, we have Soul Plane.
- Soul Plane, what is that?
- It's Snoop Dogg and some friends are on,
and Cat Williams, they're on a plane to-
- Can I ask you another question?
- Sure.
- Is Tyler Perry, is that what you said?
- Tyler Perry.
- Yeah, yeah.
Is he black?
- He is.
- Okay, I didn't know.
- Is that okay?
- No, it's completely fine.
- I would hope so.
- Big Denzel fan.
- We don't have any Denzel movies.
- What's the third movie?
- I think you can see what the third movie is.
- Oh, Amistad.
- Oh my God.
- Amistad, is that about a boat?
- It is about a boat.
- Oh, good.
Do you have Titanic?
'Cause I like white boat.
- No, no, no.
We found that that tested negative with people on a cruise.
- With the people on a cruise?
Okay, so there's movies, what else is there?
Is there darts?
Like, what else happens?
- Shuffleboard, there's also water slides, they said.
And then people really get off on a casino.
It's a fucking floating casino.
- Oh, it's a casino.
- Yeah, it's another way for people to lose their mortgage.
- Can you smoke inside the casino, you think?
- You better believe it.
- Okay, good.
- It's a boat.
You can do whatever the fuck you want.
Maritime law, baby.
*outro music*

Pranking Insects w/ Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino

And so whenever, sometimes you'll see like an ant by itself.
You know what I mean?
- Panic.
- Just by himself, it's crazy.
Imagine, dude, imagine being an ant
and then seeing someone, you know what I mean?
A human, this gigantic mountain thing, right?
So I saw an ant grab a cracker.
- Like a full size cracker?
- No, it was like a chunk of a cracker.
But you know what I mean?
He's like, I'm gonna bring this to the village.
So from the kitchen, I tracked him.
I let him carry it for a long time.
- That's nice of you.
- Right?
All the way to the living room,
which probably took about two hours, right?
I scooped him back up and I made him start over.
- Oh my God.
- I made him start over.
You know?
- Yeah.
- What the dude?
That's the ant.
And I let him do it again.
You gotta teach him a lesson.
- You gotta teach him a lesson.
- You can't just crush him.
- People's attitude towards those bugs wide,
but harming or killing bugs,
important to find strong disapproval of such actions.
Find him cruel and unethical.
Even concerning psychological tendencies in children.
Undeveloped empathy and psychopathic behavior.
What do you think?
- What you're telling me is this.
When Dahmer was a kid.
- That was in the movie.
- That was in the movie.
- Right.
- That was in the movie.
- Hit a bag of bones, right?
If I hit a bag of ants, it would be the same sign?
- Pretty close.
- I don't think so.
- Well, it's near.
- I don't, if I had a jar of dead ants,
I don't think it's the same as bones.
- Wait a minute, dude.
You have a whole jar of ants?
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's even crazier.
- How many are in the jar?
- Six million?
- Six million?
- I have an Auschwitz of ants in a jar.
So what you're saying to me right now is if you had a son.
- Yeah.
- I was in the backyard.
- Hey, buddy, what were you doing out back?
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
It seems like you have stuff in your hands in your pockets.
What is that?
- Nothing.
- No, show me your hands, bud.
I want to see.
Oh my God, is that?
- That's right.
- That's a bunch of dead grasshoppers?
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
Why do you have so many?
What are you doing?
- I like to pluck the wings.
- You pluck the wings off the grasshoppers?
- Yeah, and then they still alive when I pluck the wings.
- Oh my God.
- And you know what they do?
They get, I hurt them so good.
- And you like this?
- Feel good.
I get, daddy, daddy, I get hard when I do that.
- Well, I'm glad I'm divorcing your mom.
- Anyway, I pluck the wings, right?
And then what I do is I take a stick.
- Yeah.
- A little teeny stick, and I die.
- You poke out their eyes.
- I poke out, right?
You know what I do?
Then they go swirly.
- Oh my God.
- 'Cause they don't know what's going on.
So they go in a circle.
They go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hello, adoption agency?
- You would do that.
- We want to give them back.
- Yeah.
What would you do this?
You're my adopted son, obviously.
- Obviously in this scenario, yes.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
What about this?
When they adopt a kid from Russia, does this happen?
- Mm-hmm.
- And you know, Russian kids.
- Crazy.
- I don't know, maybe.
- Gotta be.
- Knife work.
- Knife work.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They know how to do that.
- They do.
- What is that called?
- Yeah, I like that.
- The blade.
- The butterfly.
- Yeah, yeah.
- What, the butterfly knife.
They can do that.
That's.
Dude, watch this.
Do Google a kid with a butterfly knife.
I guarantee he's a Russian kid who knows how to do it.
- Yeah.
- 100%.
If you adopt a Russian kid who can butterfly knife.
- Right.
Or daddy, you want to play a game?
And then you know that, that.
Right?
Like, remember in Aliens?
Was it Aliens?
- Aliens.
- The robot.
- Look at this, there's a little Russian girl right now.
- Right.
- Obviously playing with a butterfly knife.
- Yeah.
- And her dad is like, "Very good girl, very good girl."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yes, you have to learn.
- Yeah.
So if you had a Russian kid, he was doing some shady shit.
- Oh yeah.
- He's three years old, dropped him from Russia.
- Yeah.
- Like, you wake up one night, right?
And he's just standing over you with a fucking butterfly knife.
And for some reason, a spatula, right?
- Good morning, baby.
- You know what I mean?
Or, you know, what would you,
what would it take for you to go, go back to Russia?
- It would make a good fight scene for sure
out of me and the kid.
I mean, I'd have to fight him.
He's obviously instigating a fight.
Then butterfly knife and the spatula?
Is he gonna cook me something or we're gonna fight?
- Yeah, I made spaghetti, daddy.
- Okay.
- Do you want pasta?
- No, you're going back, dude.
- Really?
- We're putting you back on the boat.
- Yeah, I think, I don't know how,
but that would really traumatize the kid.
- He traumatized me.
- I know.
- I don't need that.
- But can't you change him?
- No, dude, that's what they say.
And then Dahmer's dad was like,
"We can't believe he was boiling body."
- Oh, that's right.
- Like they acted like they didn't know
it was coming the whole time.
- Right.
- That's what you do, you cannot change that.
Back on the boat.
Back on the boat.
- There's a lot of signs, you know what I mean?
And I get it like, if you're emo.
- Emo's different than psychotic.
- Emo's different than psychotic.
- For sure.
- What I'm saying is, one of the signs,
probably 'cause I've never had children.
- Right.
- But if your son doesn't have any friends,
like, okay, so I'm your son.
I have no friends, dog.
- Well, let's get you some friends, buddy.
- I don't want friends.
I want to stay in the room forever, dog.
- Okay, what are you doing in the room though?
- What?
- I'm plucking fucking caterpillar wings, dad.
I'm plucking their eyes out, brah.
- All right, well, all right.
- What do you mean, all right, dad?
Comedy guy.
- Oh, man.
- Yeah, oh, man, what?
You know what I mean?
What kind of, dude, you know what?
Ron Howard had a better career than you, dad.
- Yeah, he did.
- Yeah, in terms of redheads, he's the top redhead.
- Well, I agree.
- Yeah, you know what, dad?
Fuck you, you know what, dad?
I have redheads too because of the genetic code.
I can't even get any pussy, dad,
'cause of your fucking bullshit.
- Well, that's your fault.
- No, it's your fault too, dad,
I'm gonna hear you freak.
- I'll kill you.
- That's where I'm going.
- I snapped, that lasted five seconds.
- That's what I'm trying to get to, yeah.
- Well, look at the behavioral traits
of kids who might be psychotic,
people who have cruelty to animals,
fascination with fire, ooh, that one to me for sure.
- Ooh, that's a good one.
- Persistent bedwetting, that's bedwetting, that's you.
- That's me, I still do that.
- Antisocial behavior, that's-
- What's an antisocial behavior?
- You don't wanna go talk to people,
you don't wanna be around people.
No, that's not us.
- Okay, that's not us.
Manipulative or deceitful behavior?
That's us, yeah.
- That's me for sure.
- Yeah, you manipulate, you're the king manipulator.
- Lack of empathy, I have empathy.
- Empathy and remorse, we have that.
- We have that.
- All right, aggression and violence, me, spades.
- Not me.
- Fascination with violence and death,
that's more you than me.
- Well, I liked Ballerina last night, I saw that.
That was pretty violent.
- Was it?
- What?
- It was violent?
- You don't know what Ballerina is?
- What is Ballerina?
- Well, let me explain it to you.
- John Wick.
- Oh, it's John Wick?
- So what they're trying to do is try to,
you know what I mean, expand the franchise.
- Oh God, I couldn't even get to the last one.
- It's loved.
- It was so bad.
- It was, you know what?
There was some disconnection in the,
I don't think it was directed well.
- But the last one wasn't good either.
I tried to watch it, it was so bad.
Oh, so they're having this girl, who is that girl?
- I don't know.
- That's, she plays the Ballerina?
- Yeah.
- This movie didn't do well?
She's huge.
- She's great in it too.
- She's so good.
- You know, here's what's sad about Ballerina, okay?
I'm not a fucking film critic, but.
- We are kinda.
- Yeah, we are kinda.
But when you're watching her,
you know she's trying so hard.
- To be evil?
- I mean, look at, she's doing all the John Wick shit.
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
Getting thrown over cabinets, you know what I mean?
I mean, doing.
- So she's doing her own stunts?
- Oh yeah.
And she's doing it and you're saying,
I wish this was a better movie for you
because you are doing such hard work.
- 'Cause she's busting ass.
- Busting your fucking ass.
- 106 million worldwide.
I gotta be honest with you,
I bet you the budget wasn't that high.
- Oh my God.
It had to be a hundred million dollar movie.
- No way.
Was it that visually stunning?
- It had to be.
The stunts and all that.
- Because the John Wick, his tradition.
- How much was Ballerina?
- 80 million.
- To 90 million, yeah.
It had to have been.
- Okay, because look at the John Wick franchise as a whole,
they started that whole thing with such low budget, nothing.
It was like 10, 20 million or something.
- Bubayaga.
- Bubayaga.
- I'm telling you, that's.
By the way, I watched the worst documentary
of all time last night.
- Let me guess what it is.
- What a waste of time.
- Can I guess the topic?
- I don't know what it is.
- What?
- What do I get if I guess it?
- Give anything you want.
What do you want?
- Poop cruise.
- That was poop cruise.
- Is it really?
- A hundred percent.
- Yeah, yeah.
I couldn't get past the 15 for 15 minutes.
- It sucked.
- It sucked.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- By the way, they made a five second story.
They made it a fucking hour movie.
It stinks.
- It stinks.
- And they should have told it from different perspectives.
They got like the most,
the least entertaining people to talk about it.
Get some weirdos.
Get some weirdos that were on the boat.
I want the guy, they have people being like,
it was out of control and there's poop coming out of the dreams.
No, I want the guy who's like,
I'm the one that made the tents and I was collecting poop.
I want that guy in the documentary.
Where's the weirdo?
- But was he in on the boat?
- You tell me there's not one of those guys
on a fucking carnival cruise line?
- Okay.
- Anybody that goes on these things,
first of all, is a maniac.
You know there's lifers.
They go on these things.
There's people that stay on cruises.
They just go cruise to cruise.
- When you ever see a TikTok with carnival cruise
and I look at the pool party, seems like a nightmare.
Number one, I'll tell you what.
- It looks insane at sea.
- Too many people.
- Way too many people.
- Music's not my thing.
That kind of music.
- Because it's constant.
Everywhere you go, it's-
- Give me the lute.
Give me the lute.
I don't know what they're playing.
- I do love that.
- I don't know what they're playing.
- I do love that.
- Like Biggie or something.
- I love give me the lute.
- I love give me the lute, the song.
- No, they're playing.
I'm on a boat, I don't want to hear it.
Give me the lute, give me the lute.
You know, I don't want to hear it, right?
Because it's like, I'm not, I've never done that.
- You don't do that.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never, you know, give me the lute.
I've never done that.
- Now, if it was Portishead, you'd be into it.
- Oh my God, yeah, yeah.
Well, you know what, Mazzy Star.
- Fine, Mazzy Star is great.
- Yeah, whatever, right?
- Well, that's a suicidal song on a boat.
Wouldn't be good.
- I know, but still I could cut with myself
with my emo friends, you know what I mean?
- So it's the music, too many people.
Give me another reason why you wouldn't go on that cruise.
- Well, I, buffets, you know, give me the creeps.
I have, I'm germaphobic.
I think buffet to me is night, nightmare.
Everyone's.
- Yeah. - In this shit.
- Exactly. - No, fuck that.
No, thank you.
Also, also there is something to be said about unlimited booze
and booze available all the time.
In a trapped environment. - Amen.
- Yeah, hallelujah, dude. - Okay, give me something.
- Can I go back to the buffet?
-