Name: Bobby Lee Roasts New Guy in Bad Friends Booth
Uploaded: 2025-08-13T16:05:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Roasts New Guy in Bad Friends Booth' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Roasts New Guy in Bad Friends Booth' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-13. Transcript available.

Fancy's gone, and in his place,
of course, lingering in the background-
- Is Waldo. - Is Waldo.
Where is he?
We found him, look at him back there.
- Look at him right there.
- Biting his nails, nervous.
- Hola.
- No, that's him.
- No.
- That's not Waldo?
- Look at George in the back.
Guys, ladies and gentlemen, George has made his
triumphant return.
- Triumphant.
- And of course, we have Richie is filling in
for Fancy for the time being.
- I've never met Richie, have you ever met Richie?
- Yeah, we work together.
- We do?
- Richie works with us.
- He does?
- He works for us.
- I've literally, have I ever met you, Richie?
- Like twice before, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Where?
Where do we meet each other?
- We met him at Sabanakis.
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah, I edit all the clips for Bad Friends and stuff.
- Sometimes in the clip, I'm like, who did this?
Who chose this?
- Richie.
- Richie, it's you?
- That's me every time.
- Well, in your instinct, you have instincts?
- I try my best to.
- Richie.
- Yeah, what's up?
I told you you were gonna like him.
- I would love him.
- By the way, the first time you met him at Sabanakis,
you know what you did?
You tussled his hair.
- I did?
- Yeah, you tussled his hair.
And you said, keep on keeping on.
- Oh, that's right.
- I got that tattooed, keep on keeping him.
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
- It's on my ass.
- Okay.
- He's married, he has six kids.
- Do you have kids, really?
- Yeah.
- How many?
- Three.
- Holy mo- he's a machine.
- His wife is Cambodian.
- She is?
- Yeah.
- You liking those?
- Oh, she is.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he like it.
- You can play the Killing Fields with that game.
I love that game.
Do you play that game with her?
Where she wears the hat and you know?
And you're Pol Pot, no?
- I'm Pol Pot sometimes, in bed.
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
- Whoa, you know who Pol Pot is?
- Like a dictator, I think?
- Yeah.
- Emphasis on dick, my dude.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Top 10, probably one of the most horrifying dictators.
- Horrific people of all time.
- Of all time.
- And he's also sponsoring the show.
This episode of "Bad Friends" is brought to you
by Pol Pot. - By Killing Fields.
And Killing Fields.
- So wait a minute though.
I post a video of fancy crying,
like just bawling, crying, laughing.
- You guys went to get food.
You guys went to go to a restaurant.
And you, and then, no.
- It's McCone's fault.
- McCone got.
- Yeah, this is what happened, okay?
I'ma tell you what happened.
- Tell me.
- I went through the gate way before everyone else.
- Right.
- And sometimes I'll go, I'm eating at this place, right?
There were two seats open next to me.
It's not a table, it's like a bar.
- Yeah.
So then, you know, McCone and Andrea sit next to me.
And we order, I've already ordered a traditional breakfast.
A traditional breakfast with eggs, bacon, right?
And an orange juice.
- Got it. - Right?
And in front of us is a gigantic kind of like menu
that's leaning against the wall.
And on the menu is this chocolatey thing
that only 12-year-old kids get.
- Right. - It's got 16 pieces of chocolate stuck in it, right?
Whipped cream, you know what I mean?
A thick straw.
It's just this thing that you,
why would anyone get that for breakfast?
- And why would they?
- Yeah.
But he orders it.
- Of course, of course he does.
- After he orders his original meal.
- Right.
- He orders it later.
He goes, "Excuse me, is this available?"
And in my mind, I'm like, "Why would you get that?"
He gets it.
- Of course. - Right?
Of course this thing is taller than average drinks.
- Right.
- And there's a straw sticking out, right?
So me and Fancy share, we share pancakes often.
- Yeah.
- Me, that's our little hobby.
I go, "Yo, Andrea, pass me the pancakes."
He hands it to me and I'm looking away
and the pancake plate hits the straw of this chocolatey drink.
It spills all over all my body,
the backpack, everything.
It's chaos.
- But also the only reason it was in front of you is because you took a sip.
I didn't even get a sip before my first sip.
You're like, "Let me try this."
You put it right in front of you.
- Okay, yeah.
All right.
- So he didn't even get the drink.
- No.
- So really, it was yours.
- Yeah.
You technically...
- Check it out.
You paid for it and you spilled it and you were the only one that drank it.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
- That's yours.
- So now I'm drenched in this sticky, thick fluid.
- Chocolate.
- Chocolate.
- Brownies in it.
- Yeah, yeah, it's bad.
- Sprinkles.
- Yeah.
- It's all sugar.
- Why would you get that?
- That's his fault.
- It looks so good on the picture.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So...
- You have such a deprived child.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So now my backpack is drenched with this chocolatey thing.
I'm drenched with that.
- Yeah.
- So what does one do?
I look at the immediate first clothing store.
- Yes.
- It was like a sports store, right?
- Yeah.
- And I bought a complete different outfit.
- You bought an Arsenal jersey and you bought...
- And I don't know why he laughed the way he did.
- Well, because he saw you trying it on and he says in this video, you might be
able to hear it.
- Calm down, just say it.
- Bobby opened the fitting room completely naked.
- Asking for scissors.
- Okay.
- So you're butt naked and you open the fitting room door and they're there
because you want scissors.
- Can I defend myself real quick?
- So you can cut the tags off.
- Can I defend myself real quick?
- Sure.
- It was just a prank.
- It was a ploy.
- What do you mean?
- Because I had a fart brewing and I knew the tags were in the back of these
new pants.
- Sure.
- So I was going to turn around and him grab it.
He had to lower himself too.
You know what I mean?
And then I would fart in his face.
- But it never happened.
- It never happened because they didn't have scissors.
- No.
- Yeah.
You have made me pull them off manually.
- Yeah.
- I go do it manually.
- But did you fart on him while he was...
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- So it did get...
I pulled it off.
- All right, good.
- I did pull it off, but I did answer the door.
But can I just defend myself real quick?
- Sure.
- It's not as if I didn't look below and see what feet are in front of the...
I memorized the shoes.
- It was our friend.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, you can always tell fancy shoes.
They're 12 year old boy shoes.
- Yeah, yeah.
- They're little boy Velcro shoes.
- So I opened it up and then lo and behold, there's other people watching as
well.
But I'm in my underwear, so I'm not completely naked.
- Okay.
- Right.
I don't know why he would react like this.
- It was so fun.
And you also had me buy 12 wet white packages.
- Yeah.
- Well, you need 12.
- Yeah.
- Because one is not enough.
- One was enough.
- It was?
- Yeah.
So we gave 11 to the waitress and she couldn't believe it.
- She was not about to accept your tip.
It took a lot of finessing for you to...
- Do you know why?
Because this lady gets on her knees with a towel and stuff.
It's just wiping down my backpack and the ground.
She doesn't need to do that.
- And you tipped her.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- What did you give her?
- A hundred bucks.
- Yeah.
- It took like 10 minutes for her.
- Yeah.
She went down and we didn't ask for that.
- Why did you, what?
Did you ever say, stop, you don't have to do that?
- I kept going, you know.
She said, no, it's my job.
It's my job.
And I had to get, I had to tip her.
- You have to.
- Yeah, yeah.
And so then I had him go get me wet naps.
You got a little bit more than I asked.
- You asked for $60 worth.
- I don't know how in Europe, what wet naps cost.
- I don't think you know what they cost here.
- I know, I don't think it's.
- I don't know how much they cost.
- So I bought like 12 of them.
- He got a lot, he got a lot.
- To cover my bases.
- Well, at least you were generous and you helped her out.
- Yeah.
- You know who you are when we're on vacation
or when we're on trips like this?
You are, bring up, bring up Jim Carrey,
dumb and dumber, handing out cash.
Here you go, there you go, there you go, there you go,
there you go, I mean that is, and I'm complimenting you.
We would go, we got a ride from the house car at the hotel
and he handed him a $100 bill and it's nice, very generous.
And the guy goes, thank you, sir.
And then we took it the car again, 10 minutes later,
give him another $100 bill.
I was like, how much fucking money are you going to give this guy?
He drove us a mile down the road.
- That's like, that's like Uber platinum.
- I'm going to defend myself real quick.
- I'm complimenting you.
- No, it sounds gross, but I'll tell you what.
- Well, no, it's awesome.
I'm saying it was funny the way you were so generous.
- Can I just say something?
Okay. I don't have a lot of money.
So let me just say something.
Okay.
What I want to say is this.
At the comedy, we go up at the, I get it.
How many times am I at the comedy store?
- Too many.
- A lot.
- Yeah.
- Every night.
- Every night.
- Basically got a house comic there.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
So every two weeks I take that money.
So what I'm giving people isn't like money out of my bank account or anything
like that.
It's like, that's just, you know, because we do like bring a room.
They'll give you cash.
- Yeah.
- Here's three, $400, right?
I don't spend that on anything.
I do it.
I use that as tips.
- Shadow cash.
- Shadow cash.
Yeah.
It's not as if I'm like, you know what I mean?
Rolling in it.
And I'm like, you know what I mean?
Here's money for everybody.
No, it's just like shadow money.
It's like, you know what's another shadow money?
Sometimes.
- What the fuck is shadow money?
- I made it up.
- Yeah.
What does that even mean?
- I don't know.
- I like it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Shadow money.
- It's money that, you know.
- When my wife is like, why did you buy that?
I'm like, baby, it's shadow money.
- Yeah.
- It's shadow money.
- It's shadow money.
- What does that say?
It refers to a concept with a financial system that includes money
like claims created through a repurchase operations and other non-banking
official intermediators.
Shadow money, baby.
- In a way, I guess that doesn't make sense.
I don't know what that meant, but yeah.
- Makes perfect sense.
- Yeah.
- Playing a crucial role in the shadow banking system.
It's a broader concept just for an illicit finance and can it come as
legitimate,
albeit less regulated financial activities.
Shadow money, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's a legitimate term.
- Yeah.
So I use that.
- Did you hear that somewhere?
- No.
- This is insane that it's a real thing.
You know when you guess something and you're like, I'm probably wrong.
And it's right.
And you're like, oh, fuck.
- Well, sometimes I like to make up terminology.
- Yeah, you do all the time.
- Yeah, I do it all the time.
I don't know if it makes sense or not.
- Shadow money makes perfect sense to me.
- But I've always called it shadow money.
And so--
- Well, you were shadowing out a lot.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you shadowed out.
- I'll be honest with you.
You know what I used to spend shadow money on?
- Huh?
- Strip clubs.
- That is shadow money.
- Yeah.
- So it's like--
- Well, that's what it's literally saying right there.
- You know, that stuff goes to like cat litter.
- Right.
- You know what I mean?
Like I'll spend money on cat litter and cat stuff and dog stuff.
- That's out of the shadows money.
- Or pool.
Like I get a cleaning guy to come over once a week to clean my pool.
- Does he do a good job?
- Yeah.
- He does?
- I have a small pool.
- I don't think they ever do a good job.
I think it's a lie.
- Yeah.
I need a poop picker-upper.
- Well, Richie is here.
- Oh, I got you.
Yeah.
- I'm good at that.
- Yeah, really?
- Richie, would you go clean up all the cat poop at his house?
- For a good price.
- What would the price be, do you think?
- To just clean up cat poop around an apartment?
- Just cat poop and dog poop around the outside.
- Honestly, that's like, I would take minimum wage for that.
- What is minimum wage that you'd accept?
California?
- California minimum wage is pretty high.
Honestly, I'd take like 15 for that.
That's not that bad.
- $6.50 an hour.
- Yeah, honestly, that, yeah.
- But you could get it done in one hour.
So you're getting paid $16.
- No, it would take 10 minutes.
- Okay, right.
- So here's what I would do, Richie.
- No, I would take the-
- Richie, I would go, here's,
for you to drive over to, where do you live?
In what area?
Like, just gonna say east, north, what, southwest?
- Cambodia, we told you.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's a far flight.
- East, east, yeah, yeah.
No, in LA, east side, west side, north or south?
- I'm in Burbank.
- It's not good with the road.
- It's not good.
So- - We're figuring that out.
- So Burbank to my house.
- We'll get your software system.
- I would probably give you,
to drive all the way from Burbank to my house,
50 bucks to clean my dog poo.
- That's good.
I would do that.
- Yeah.
- Let's, let's, let's instate this.
- Yeah.
- And also- - That's a good price, right?
- It's a really good price.
- Yeah, yeah.
- But I will say this.
This is the innocence of how sweet Richie is.
Richie helps and does clips for me and stuff on the side.
And I said, "Hey Rich, I need you to do some other clip stuff.
Can you help me out?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."
"How much do you want for the clip?"
He's like, "Uh, like 10."
- He low balls.
- I was like, $10?
To do work?
- Yeah.
- I go, do, I'll give you $10 right now.
Let me help, let me give me the, you know.
No, no, not my deal.
- Are your kids starving?
- Yeah.
I was like, "Rich."
- You're really doing the killing fields, huh?
For real.
- How about this?
You go to the house and clean up poop.
You get yourself a hundred dollars.
- A hundred dollars?
I do that easy.
- Wait, wait, you're speaking on my behalf?
- Right, yeah, I'm your business manager.
- Okay.
Yeah, okay.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's shadow money, baby.
- It's shadow money.
Okay, okay.
You do it?
- I'm there.
- Okay.
- God, that's crazy.
- Now I'm questioning what he's willing to do for money.
- What are you willing to do for money?
- What aren't I willing to do for money?
- Wow.
- More interesting.
- Yeah, more interesting, yeah.
- Would you...
- Are you good with woodwork?
- Can you woodwork?
- I could figure out woodwork.
- Are you good at escape rooms?
- I could escape.
- Okay.
- Do you have a secret talent of some kind?
- No, I...
No.
- Do you not have a hidden talent at all that we don't know?
- No, honestly.
- Can you whistle?
- My talent is this at best.
- That's a talent?
- Everybody can fucking whistle.
- I can't whistle.
- You don't know how to whistle?
- Let me try.
- There it is.
- Okay.
- Whistle.
- Yeah, that's not a talent.
Can you gleek?
- Oh, gleeking is cool.
Under your tongue?
Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm king gleek.
- Wait, how do I do it?
- You curl your tongue.
- Yeah, you can't gleek.
- You have to load some spit under there.
Gleeks were cool to do.
- Ever gleeking on someone in school?
- Oh, I can kind of do that.
- Yeah, gleek in school.
- Yeah, I can gleek.
All right, what else?
Can you do...
Put your hands together and make music?
- Like fart?
- Wait.
Hold on, let me hear that again.
That's pretty good.
- That's actually good.
- Can you do that?
- No.
- Yeah, you can.
Try.
You can't.
- I can't.
- Okay, you can't do that.
What else?
- I see why they got you on reservation, darling.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What else could you do?
Nothing much, huh?
- No, I mean, like I do this.
This is my...
- Juggle.
Can you juggle?
- I could do my...
Yeah.
- No, no.
Don't give him something.
- Can you dance?
- He's gonna break it.
- Can you dance?
Are you a dancer?
- I mean, I got some solid...
I got some okay moves.
- Can I be honest right now?
- I do my best.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I really miss Andres.
- I'm kidding.
Richie, I love you.
- We love you.
- I think you're great.
You're here to stay.
- Yeah.
- Oh, thank you.
- And all jokes aside, you don't have a girlfriend.
You're single, right?
- I actually just got rejected like this week.
- Wait, you're not married and have kids?
- Oh, sorry.
- Come on, man.
- Yeah.

Bobby Lee Roasts New Guy in Bad Friends Booth

Fancy's gone, and in his place,
of course, lingering in the background-
- Is Waldo. - Is Waldo.
Where is he?
We found him, look at him back there.
- Look at him right there.
- Biting his nails, nervous.
- Hola.
- No, that's him.
- No.
- That's not Waldo?
- Look at George in the back.
Guys, ladies and gentlemen, George has made his
triumphant return.
- Triumphant.
- And of course, we have Richie is filling in
for Fancy for the time being.
- I've never met Richie, have you ever met Richie?
- Yeah, we work together.
- We do?
- Richie works with us.
- He does?
- He works for us.
- I've literally, have I ever met you, Richie?
- Like twice before, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Where?
Where do we meet each other?
- We met him at Sabanakis.
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah, I edit all the clips for Bad Friends and stuff.
- Sometimes in the clip, I'm like, who did this?
Who chose this?
- Richie.
- Richie, it's you?
- That's me every time.
- Well, in your instinct, you have instincts?
- I try my best to.
- Richie.
- Yeah, what's up?
I told you you were gonna like him.
- I would love him.
- By the way, the first time you met him at Sabanakis,
you know what you did?
You tussled his hair.
- I did?
- Yeah, you tussled his hair.
And you said, keep on keeping on.
- Oh, that's right.
- I got that tattooed, keep on keeping him.
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
- It's on my ass.
- Okay.
- He's married, he has six kids.
- Do you have kids, really?
- Yeah.
- How many?
- Three.
- Holy mo- he's a machine.
- His wife is Cambodian.
- She is?
- Yeah.
- You liking those?
- Oh, she is.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he like it.
- You can play the Killing Fields with that game.
I love that game.
Do you play that game with her?
Where she wears the hat and you know?
And you're Pol Pot, no?
- I'm Pol Pot sometimes, in bed.
- Yeah.
- Whoa.
- Whoa, you know who Pol Pot is?
- Like a dictator, I think?
- Yeah.
- Emphasis on dick, my dude.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Top 10, probably one of the most horrifying dictators.
- Horrific people of all time.
- Of all time.
- And he's also sponsoring the show.
This episode of "Bad Friends" is brought to you
by Pol Pot. - By Killing Fields.
And Killing Fields.
- So wait a minute though.
I post a video of fancy crying,
like just bawling, crying, laughing.
- You guys went to get food.
You guys went to go to a restaurant.
And you, and then, no.
- It's McCone's fault.
- McCone got.
- Yeah, this is what happened, okay?
I'ma tell you what happened.
- Tell me.
- I went through the gate way before everyone else.
- Right.
- And sometimes I'll go, I'm eating at this place, right?
There were two seats open next to me.
It's not a table, it's like a bar.
- Yeah.
So then, you know, McCone and Andrea sit next to me.
And we order, I've already ordered a traditional breakfast.
A traditional breakfast with eggs, bacon, right?
And an orange juice.
- Got it. - Right?
And in front of us is a gigantic kind of like menu
that's leaning against the wall.
And on the menu is this chocolatey thing
that only 12-year-old kids get.
- Right. - It's got 16 pieces of chocolate stuck in it, right?
Whipped cream, you know what I mean?
A thick straw.
It's just this thing that you,
why would anyone get that for breakfast?
- And why would they?
- Yeah.
But he orders it.
- Of course, of course he does.
- After he orders his original meal.
- Right.
- He orders it later.
He goes, "Excuse me, is this available?"
And in my mind, I'm like, "Why would you get that?"
He gets it.
- Of course. - Right?
Of course this thing is taller than average drinks.
- Right.
- And there's a straw sticking out, right?
So me and Fancy share, we share pancakes often.
- Yeah.
- Me, that's our little hobby.
I go, "Yo, Andrea, pass me the pancakes."
He hands it to me and I'm looking away
and the pancake plate hits the straw of this chocolatey drink.
It spills all over all my body,
the backpack, everything.
It's chaos.
- But also the only reason it was in front of you is because you took a sip.
I didn't even get a sip before my first sip.
You're like, "Let me try this."
You put it right in front of you.
- Okay, yeah.
All right.
- So he didn't even get the drink.
- No.
- So really, it was yours.
- Yeah.
You technically...
- Check it out.
You paid for it and you spilled it and you were the only one that drank it.
- Yeah, yeah, okay.
- That's yours.
- So now I'm drenched in this sticky, thick fluid.
- Chocolate.
- Chocolate.
- Brownies in it.
- Yeah, yeah, it's bad.
- Sprinkles.
- Yeah.
- It's all sugar.
- Why would you get that?
- That's his fault.
- It looks so good on the picture.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So...
- You have such a deprived child.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So now my backpack is drenched with this chocolatey thing.
I'm drenched with that.
- Yeah.
- So what does one do?
I look at the immediate first clothing store.
- Yes.
- It was like a sports store, right?
- Yeah.
- And I bought a complete different outfit.
- You bought an Arsenal jersey and you bought...
- And I don't know why he laughed the way he did.
- Well, because he saw you trying it on and he says in this video, you might be
able to hear it.
- Calm down, just say it.
- Bobby opened the fitting room completely naked.
- Asking for scissors.
- Okay.
- So you're butt naked and you open the fitting room door and they're there
because you want scissors.
- Can I defend myself real quick?
- So you can cut the tags off.
- Can I defend myself real quick?
- Sure.
- It was just a prank.
- It was a ploy.
- What do you mean?
- Because I had a fart brewing and I knew the tags were in the back of these
new pants.
- Sure.
- So I was going to turn around and him grab it.
He had to lower himself too.
You know what I mean?
And then I would fart in his face.
- But it never happened.
- It never happened because they didn't have scissors.
- No.
- Yeah.
You have made me pull them off manually.
- Yeah.
- I go do it manually.
- But did you fart on him while he was...
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- All right.
- So it did get...
I pulled it off.
- All right, good.
- I did pull it off, but I did answer the door.
But can I just defend myself real quick?
- Sure.
- It's not as if I didn't look below and see what feet are in front of the...
I memorized the shoes.
- It was our friend.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, you can always tell fancy shoes.
They're 12 year old boy shoes.
- Yeah, yeah.
- They're little boy Velcro shoes.
- So I opened it up and then lo and behold, there's other people watching as
well.
But I'm in my underwear, so I'm not completely naked.
- Okay.
- Right.
I don't know why he would react like this.
- It was so fun.
And you also had me buy 12 wet white packages.
- Yeah.
- Well, you need 12.
- Yeah.
- Because one is not enough.
- One was enough.
- It was?
- Yeah.
So we gave 11 to the waitress and she couldn't believe it.
- She was not about to accept your tip.
It took a lot of finessing for you to...
- Do you know why?
Because this lady gets on her knees with a towel and stuff.
It's just wiping down my backpack and the ground.
She doesn't need to do that.
- And you tipped her.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- What did you give her?
- A hundred bucks.
- Yeah.
- It took like 10 minutes for her.
- Yeah.
She went down and we didn't ask for that.
- Why did you, what?
Did you ever say, stop, you don't have to do that?
- I kept going, you know.
She said, no, it's my job.
It's my job.
And I had to get, I had to tip her.
- You have to.
- Yeah, yeah.
And so then I had him go get me wet naps.
You got a little bit more than I asked.
- You asked for $60 worth.
- I don't know how in Europe, what wet naps cost.
- I don't think you know what they cost here.
- I know, I don't think it's.
- I don't know how much they cost.
- So I bought like 12 of them.
- He got a lot, he got a lot.
- To cover my bases.
- Well, at least you were generous and you helped her out.
- Yeah.
- You know who you are when we're on vacation
or when we're on trips like this?
You are, bring up, bring up Jim Carrey,
dumb and dumber, handing out cash.
Here you go, there you go, there you go, there you go,
there you go, I mean that is, and I'm complimenting you.
We would go, we got a ride from the house car at the hotel
and he handed him a $100 bill and it's nice, very generous.
And the guy goes, thank you, sir.
And then we took it the car again, 10 minutes later,
give him another $100 bill.
I was like, how much fucking money are you going to give this guy?
He drove us a mile down the road.
- That's like, that's like Uber platinum.
- I'm going to defend myself real quick.
- I'm complimenting you.
- No, it sounds gross, but I'll tell you what.
- Well, no, it's awesome.
I'm saying it was funny the way you were so generous.
- Can I just say something?
Okay. I don't have a lot of money.
So let me just say something.
Okay.
What I want to say is this.
At the comedy, we go up at the, I get it.
How many times am I at the comedy store?
- Too many.
- A lot.
- Yeah.
- Every night.
- Every night.
- Basically got a house comic there.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
So every two weeks I take that money.
So what I'm giving people isn't like money out of my bank account or anything
like that.
It's like, that's just, you know, because we do like bring a room.
They'll give you cash.
- Yeah.
- Here's three, $400, right?
I don't spend that on anything.
I do it.
I use that as tips.
- Shadow cash.
- Shadow cash.
Yeah.
It's not as if I'm like, you know what I mean?
Rolling in it.
And I'm like, you know what I mean?
Here's money for everybody.
No, it's just like shadow money.
It's like, you know what's another shadow money?
Sometimes.
- What the fuck is shadow money?
- I made it up.
- Yeah.
What does that even mean?
- I don't know.
- I like it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Shadow money.
- It's money that, you know.
- When my wife is like, why did you buy that?
I'm like, baby, it's shadow money.
- Yeah.
- It's shadow money.
- It's shadow money.
- What does that say?
It refers to a concept with a financial system that includes money
like claims created through a repurchase operations and other non-banking
official intermediators.
Shadow money, baby.
- In a way, I guess that doesn't make sense.
I don't know what that meant, but yeah.
- Makes perfect sense.
- Yeah.
- Playing a crucial role in the shadow banking system.
It's a broader concept just for an illicit finance and can it come as
legitimate,
albeit less regulated financial activities.
Shadow money, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's a legitimate term.
- Yeah.
So I use that.
- Did you hear that somewhere?
- No.
- This is insane that it's a real thing.
You know when you guess something and you're like, I'm probably wrong.
And it's right.
And you're like, oh, fuck.
- Well, sometimes I like to make up terminology.
- Yeah, you do all the time.
- Yeah, I do it all the time.
I don't know if it makes sense or not.
- Shadow money makes perfect sense to me.
- But I've always called it shadow money.
And so--
- Well, you were shadowing out a lot.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you shadowed out.
- I'll be honest with you.
You know what I used to spend shadow money on?
- Huh?
- Strip clubs.
- That is shadow money.
- Yeah.
- So it's like--
- Well, that's what it's literally saying right there.
- You know, that stuff goes to like cat litter.
- Right.
- You know what I mean?
Like I'll spend money on cat litter and cat stuff and dog stuff.
- That's out of the shadows money.
- Or pool.
Like I get a cleaning guy to come over once a week to clean my pool.
- Does he do a good job?
- Yeah.
- He does?
- I have a small pool.
- I don't think they ever do a good job.
I think it's a lie.
- Yeah.
I need a poop picker-upper.
- Well, Richie is here.
- Oh, I got you.
Yeah.
- I'm good at that.
- Yeah, really?
- Richie, would you go clean up all the cat poop at his house?
- For a good price.
- What would the price be, do you think?
- To just clean up cat poop around an apartment?
- Just cat poop and dog poop around the outside.
- Honestly, that's like, I would take minimum wage for that.
- What is minimum wage that you'd accept?
California?
- California minimum wage is prett