Name: Bobby Lee Goes From 0 to 100
Uploaded: 2025-08-20T18:15:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Goes From 0 to 100' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Goes From 0 to 100' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-20. Transcript available.

Bobby Lee Goes From 0 to 100

Let's go back to my gripes with the...
Gripe, gripe, gripe, gripe it up.
Right.
Gripe, gripe, gripe, gripe, gripe.
All right.
Okay, here we go.
The week leading up to the gripes.
Why are you nodding your head, Richie?
You weren't there.
I want to know about the gripes.
He's interested in the gripes.
Yeah.
All right, so it was a great week.
We went shopping in London.
We did.
Yeah.
Really good meals.
Delicious.
And what a beautiful city.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My wife got her phone stolen on day one.
Yeah.
That was tough.
A very London experience.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You had a rough experience in London.
A little bit.
We landed in London and we got robbed the first night.
And you know what?
I've been protecting...
I protected my phone so badly.
Well, I told you.
I was like, dude, they're ready.
They're ready.
Look at the amount of iPhones stolen in London on a daily basis.
I mean, honestly, it's a joke.
But continue your gripe.
Let me get gripe first and then we'll do the London thing.
Gripe it out, dog.
Okay.
So the first gripe was when I first landed.
Oh, okay.
Gripe it out.
Can I ask you what...
Do you know what it was?
There was no car waiting?
No.
I'm fine with that.
Are you?
If you're going to gripe...
I'm so...
Oh, all right.
Gripe.
We'll talk about some of my things then.
Gripe, doggy.
All right.
So, what do I say?
We've had tour managers before.
We have.
Okay.
And I want to name her name.
She's great.
We love her.
And when we're in a city ready to go to the gig or a hotel or whatever, there's
a car waiting
for us.
There is, yeah.
Okay.
When somebody else is tour managing, I don't want to name the person, right?
We have to get in a gypsy cab and wait two hours.
Okay.
You know, it's a little different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's different.
And also the...
Look at his face.
Who?
Richie?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, but that's not my first gripe.
Why don't you...
Okay.
Okay.
With somebody.
Who is it?
McCone.
Go ahead.
I talked to Whitney.
I talked to Bert.
I talked to a bunch of people about this.
Name somebody legitimate.
Okay.
Gerard Butler.
He...
I love him.
I love him.
Tell your little story later.
Okay.
About Gerard Butler?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He loves you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Move on.
I swear to God he loves you.
Brother, I've done this to you.
I've lied to you and said,
this person loves you.
And he's like,
hi, Bobby, Mom.
Right.
Shut up.
That's your line.
Shut up, dude.
Why are you blushing?
I know what's coming.
Okay.
And I said,
we're in the car
and, you know,
McCone is the videographer.
And, you know,
you're trying to look at the buildings.
You know,
it's a city I haven't been to in 20 years.
Right.
And I'm in awe.
I'm taking it.
I'm taking in the history.
You're always taking it in.
I'm looking at the parliament.
I'm looking at the, you know.
Big Ben.
The Big Ben.
I'm looking at the statues.
You know,
the history
where the Beatles played
on that rooftop.
We love that.
Right.
And there's a camera in my face.
Now,
at one point,
I was like,
you know what?
Put it down
because it's kind of like
distracting me.
I want to,
you know.
And he goes,
no.
I'm serious,
McCone.
Just put it down
because I'm trying to enjoy.
It's kind of,
you know.
Nope.
I go,
yeah.
Do what?
No.
I go,
why?
He goes,
because Andrew said no.
So then I look at him
and I go,
but you know,
it's half my podcast,
right?
He goes,
I don't care.
Andrew said no.
The balls.
Right?
So now,
everyone listening right now,
this is what I have to do now.
I got to call Andrew
to call McCone
to say no.
That's right.
Right?
Now,
did I say
shove a camera in his face
and when he says stop,
don't stop?
I never said that.
No,
but there's a history on tour
where Bob,
you like to,
you know,
okay,
put the camera down,
but it's like for the bit
and like,
you're always,
you're a good actor.
Sometimes I don't know
what's real
and what's fake.
and I thought you were
doing a bit.
This is manipulation
at this highest order.
This is Fargo shit.
I rewatched Fargo.
You're Minnesota people,
dude.
It's Fargo shit.
They all manipulate.
Yeah,
they manipulate.
You act all instant,
but then you're shooting
somebody in the face.
Well,
they're putting people
in a wood chipper.
Buscemi wasn't from Minnesota.
The shooters weren't
from Minnesota.
Here's the deal.
Did you hear that tone though?
I heard it.
Okay,
thank you.
I heard it right now.
He just did it literally
right there.
That tone was no
when he was in the car.
Right.
And I do apologize for that.
Okay.
And I never told you
to keep rolling
when he says stop.
Yeah.
Well,
yeah.
Also,
what?
There have been times
where I'll look over
when Bobby's like,
stop,
and I'll look to you
and you go.
Yeah,
if it's fun.
I know.
And this was so fun.
We were going by buildings.
He was like,
he was like,
oh,
it looks like Auschwitz.
It was so,
he was just throwing out gold
constantly.
That's,
that's gold?
It's bronze.
The point is,
McCone and I,
and Bobby and I
had a real conversation
about it.
McCone is there to do,
that is his job,
but he kept doing
too much of his job
when you asked him
to not do his job.
And how is he being punished?
And I'll tell you,
he's been sleeping
at the studio.
That's right.
No,
no,
I'm not kidding.
I know,
I know what the story is.
I came in this morning.
I know the story.
To go get stuff.
Yeah,
and he's sleeping here.
He's sleeping on the couch
in the studio.
Yeah.
And I was like,
hey,
buddy.
And he goes,
hey.
I go,
what are you doing?
I couldn't,
I guess this is where
I had to go.
I said,
do you need somewhere
to sleep,
dude?
No,
I kind of like it here.
Yeah.
So,
he's self,
he's self bashing.
He's doing it
to punish himself.
Well,
the apartment that he has,
something happened,
there was a gas leak
or what happened?
It was built in like 1906
and they're repainting it
so they sanded
and now there's just lead
paint dust
in everywhere
because they can properly
cover our windows.
And his landlord
legally has to
give him money
to go somewhere else
and his landlord
was like,
no.
Wow.
And then my renter's
insurance doesn't cover
any of that either.
Wow,
so you're staying here?
Yeah.
Okay.
You're taking a shower
at your house tomorrow?
No,
where'd you shower today?
I didn't shower today.
Let him stay at your house.
No,
I already have
three Filipinos
staying there.
What's one more
Minnesota?
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right,
so,
so that,
no,
hold on,
hold on.
That argument though
of like,
you thought I was joking?
Yeah.
Maybe the first time
but I said it like
three or four times
and then it got to the point,
then it got to the point
where I had to actually
call Andrew.
At that point,
you would think
that I wasn't joking.
No,
I know
and then I stopped.
He did stop that?
After Andrew called you
to stop.
That's right,
I told him.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
The people that
I've talked to about this,
that's fireable.
Well,
what do you think?
Do you want to fire him?
No,
I don't.
But I think the moral
is we reached an agreement
where we established
a safe word,
which.
He did.
And I think it's,
I think it's a great tactic.
First of all,
that was for you.
I said,
let's have a safe word
when you really
don't want to be filmed.
Can this be the safe word?
Stop?
No,
because stop.
Why is stop
not the safe word anymore?
Because stop with you
is playful.
It's got to be a word.
Here's the thing.
When you're having,
when you're playing
character sex
with someone
you're having sex with.
I love that.
And they have to have
a safe word
that's offbeat
so they know
it has nothing to do
with what's going on.
Yeah.
Like,
like Rikki Tiki Tembo,
no sir Rembo.
You have to do that.
And I'm not,
that's not a,
that's an Asian thing,
but it's not an Asian thing.
Well,
that's the first gripe.
May I move on to this?
Gripe two.
Okay.
Where is Carlos,
by the way?
Are you getting?
Because this next gripe
is about you.
And this one
was,
oh my god,
I could not believe it.
Go on.
I will.
Because I've got some,
I've got some.
You got one?
Well,
I have something
to talk to him about.
Yeah.
This one was,
huh?
What happened?
Let him feel about it.
Dude.
You know what happened.
What happened?
All right.
Not with him,
I don't know what happened.
No,
but with me.
Do you know
what happened with me?
Yeah,
you made a huge deal
about it.
When?
At the,
in Ireland.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got in a tiff.
No,
we didn't get in a tiff.
You got in a tiff.
Oh yeah,
I forgot.
When I said,
are you mad?
You said,
I'm not mad,
which was very scary.
Which means he's mad.
Yeah,
it was very scary.
It's like when you say stop,
but you don't want it to stop.
But Jedi mind tricks.
You do a little Jedi.
Yeah,
if you're a Padawan,
you grow up in that lifestyle.
Gripe two.
Gripe two,
Padawan.
Okay,
here we go.
So I just want to tell people listening,
hello and bonjour.
Good.
Okay.
And what I want to also say is this,
is that,
you know,
when you're on a tour,
right?
You,
after,
we don't eat all day.
Well,
you,
you,
you usually don't.
Yeah,
but still,
I mean,
a lot of the people's complaint is after the show.
Food.
Yeah,
like we're hungry.
And so,
what the other tour manager would do.
Okay.
The thing I did in London the first night.
Did he?
Getting a little sticky.
Did he?
He did.
Hmm.
Yeah,
it's where you ate.
Nessa.
No,
that's not true.
You know who came up with that?
Your friend.
My friend.
Hmm.
Do you remember that?
I do.
Yeah,
yeah.
I had reservations.
No,
no,
she didn't.
I,
I was in the car when she called,
like,
can we get a table of 15?
Oh,
I'm talking about the night before.
I'm talking about show night.
Okay.
I'm talking about show night.
Yeah,
but we can't let go of like other nights I did for you.
I know,
but the other nights,
we can figure that out.
Wait,
can we talk about gripe zero,
which was that you didn't like your seat on the plane?
Cause it was business and not first,
even though they have the same seats.
Oh God,
dude.
I didn't have a gripe on that.
How dare you?
My only complaint is that Robin Thicke was in first.
Yeah.
You were mad because Robin Thicke was in first.
You did say that.
That's not the gripe.
The gripe is this.
You said,
why the fuck is Robin Thicke at first?
And I'm not.
Well,
he cut ahead of me.
I'm in line for first.
He cut ahead of me.
I go,
why the fuck is Robin Thicke going,
cutting ahead of me?
He's so famous.
I know,
but he's so handsome too.
All right.
Right.
I don't mind following Robin Thicke.
I can't even fucking talk.
Robin Thicke into the plane,
but I had to wait another 20.
Anyway,
stop.
Stop.
You're right.
Move on.
Here's another thing about that plane.
Okay.
Is it's the,
I've never been on a plane like it where you're facing.
So I'm facing this way and there's a dude facing this way.
Right.
And our heads are this close,
like his head's right here and we're right.
And there's a little wall that you can pull up,
but you can't pull that up until the flight takes off.
Right.
Right.
So I'm just kind of,
and he's coughing.
Right.
And I'm like,
and then I go,
can I bring the,
and they're like,
no,
now I can't,
you know,
it's weird.
I get it.
So I complain about that.
I am sorry.
Okay.
But I'm grateful for the fight.
Yeah.
No problem.
Grape.
Go on.
All right.
Let's go.
Let's go to Grape.
Because I'm going to wedge mine in real fast.
You want to do it now?
Night one.
I said,
okay.
He's bouncing around.
You know.
Carlos?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I said,
are you high?
Oh,
here we go.
And what did you say to me?
Oh,
I said no,
but that's because I forgot I was high.
No.
No.
No.
That's too high.
No.
If you're so high,
you forgot you're high.
That's high.
It's because I took all my edibles on the plane when we landed because I
thought we were going
to go through customs.
I said,
first of all,
I told you not to bring anything through.
Yeah,
but it's fine in the air.
Okay.
Okay.
I said,
are you high?
International hair.
And you said no.
And then I,
and then McCone ratted you out and said,
he bought weed from a guy in the park.
Oh,
no,
that was Brad.
He gave it to me.
Okay.
Yeah.
Gave you weed in the park.
And you smoked weed with him in the park.
Yeah.
It was fun.
It was like a real British experie