Name: Bobby Lee is Smarter Than Yoda
Uploaded: 2025-09-04T16:40:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee is Smarter Than Yoda' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee is Smarter Than Yoda' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-04. Transcript available.

don't please don't get yeah i'm getting botox i have to why because i look old
now it's catching
up and time out i know exactly where this started where do you guys know where
this started
mccullin was with me yeah i know where it started that photo you posted i
posted a photo on my story
that angle never again dude brother it looks like you do i look like a
shrinking frog you are
i i it doesn't it was not good i thought the bags the liver spots i got to get
botox
you don't have liver spots i do look at on the sides those are freckles dude oh
they're gigantic
freckles samoan freckles that's what i have on my face yeah samoa freckle yeah
listen i'm that's what
i'm going to look like yeah the oil oil london right yeah i mean i don't think
people would notice if i
got botox i think they would you shake okay do ai bobby with bobby lee with botox
can we see that but
if i get botox new rule you can't make fun of me uh you can't make fun of me
dude old rule yes i can
okay old rule no of course i won't make fun of you if if if you bought first of
all you're not
going to get botox i am no you're not where would you get it korea no i'm
saying where on your face
oh my god my eyes like the puffiness on the sides here the lips a little bit
don't you just want to
age gracefully don't you just want to age gracefully because you're doing a
great job
everybody thinks you're 40. no one knows you're about to turn 54 years old
nobody knows that except for
everybody that's listening to the show right now i know but you know what
happens to asians right
what the old rule what's the old rule one night one night long ago wrong ago i
went to sleep
what happened i woke up as yoda oh you think you're going to turn into i'm
going to turn to yoda one
day okay then if you get it we're all getting it that's it no here's the thing
okay because richie
needs it too look at his face yeah but he's those old 22 23. how old 24 just
turn yeah right that's
right we asked yeah but think about it and give it some good perspective yoda
was so wise everybody
went to him for advice yeah but i don't know shit i don't know anything yes you
do ask me something
ask me uh you know how many floors is the empire state building i don't know
well neither do i all
right you're fine give me a capital or a city and a state and i think i'm going
to give you the state easy
okay go country or you want a city and a state and i'll tell you what the state
is okay what is
what is the capital uh no not the capital just give me a city wait what do you
give you any city yeah
albany albany new mexico yeah it's new yeah new york albany new york that was a
tough one
really yeah yeah give me another one give me another one uh uh springfield ohio
well there is there is one
there for sure there's one in every state okay well then that's a trick one
okay uh uh how about this
uh sacramento california come on okay lubbock texas very good um uh uh zizek's
zizek's london england
no that's here is it what's it it's it's xxyxx it's in oh that's a good one you've
seen it it's in
the desert so i saw it in the desert ones zizek's but that's a road not a city
i think it's a city
yeah it's a city zizek's formerly soda springs is an unincorporated town in san
bernardino county
by the way i heard it was a developmental town for like a rehab clinic and it
never took off
fontang uh that's gotta be china yeah yeah i made it up fontang yeah it can be
anyone sounds like a
chinese yeah yeah that was my nickname welcome to fontang that's your that was
your nickname in high
school um all right well i know something you know a lot of things all right
give me a random thing that
maybe i you might not think that i know uh how about um how about like uh give
me the name of the of the
first album released oh my god it's panic already you know music so well yeah i
don't know give me
the first album released by i'm trying to think of something easy what talking
heads talking heads
1977. perfect see you know a lot of stuff i mean you have to lead me to it we'll
get there yeah how
about how about what what metallica's first album oh that's good i don't i don't
know what is it kill
them all i think was that the first album kill them all ron mcgovney 82 garage
demo kill them
all full album yeah thank you got it thank you lord lord yeah you know a lot of
stuff dude you
did you know anything richie did you know any of those no i didn't know i think
i know what you'll
know what was rem's first album look at your face come on you know this losing
your religion
yeah yeah that's the one that's the one yeah that's not the first album that's
not the first
yeah yeah richie are you wearing a sweater i am like 94 outside but doesn't he
look like a college
rock band bassist he looks like a guy who's tinkering away with microchips in a
basement
and we don't know if he's on our team or against us yet i think you look like
mike mills from the rem
by the way richie looks like every guy from a band in the 90s yeah every band
oh yeah you kind of
do look like him dude you're that type of white do you think i could rock those
shades no no no no
yeah yeah no you can't even rock the glasses you're wearing right now i'm
actually allergic to them
to glasses to these glasses what do you mean you're allergic to them i just
found out so i'm allergic
to metal now so it's like i and these were my backup so i broke my plastic pair
and then when i put
these on now like my ears all can we cut to commercial right now or something
wait a minute you're allergic
to metal i've never heard of that in my life yeah so i just i just found out
this myself contacts
use contacts i don't have any contacts oh you can't afford them no i just i
didn't like how i
put them in my eye it hurt oh okay okay so people uh metal uh allergies are a
type of allergic contact
dermatitis called delayed hypersensitivity reaction wow so what happens what's
gonna happen to you with
these on i don't know i just got a bumpy ear and i gotta figure that out oh
buddy you're a hypochondriac
yeah the bump on your ear has nothing to do with the glasses on your face what's
it from
should you tell them or no i don't even listening it's from fontang fun it was
from yeah a little
bit too much fontang you're gonna end up with bumps on your face but i like a
little fontang
careful richie richie okay you're not we're not what's the last time you had
fontang richie
yeah when's the last time you got some fontang i like the fontang no no one's
the last time you had
fontang when was the last time you had some fontang fontang like two or so
weeks ago you did
what's the definition of fontang richie fontang it's a food it's like noodles
oh okay well it is a noodle
thing africa yeah let me reword it word it let me can i reword yeah what's the
last time you got
some action action yeah when's the last time you got laid rich oh like probably
this month but like
earlier in the month like end of or beginning of july roughly oh the beginning
of july one time yeah
just once yeah we do our best i have like who's we oh you and your plan him and
his penis yeah
wait a minute so what was this a one time was this do you do one night stands
are you only i do but la is
weird it's like i don't like the one night stands and i feel like people lean
more towards that but
i'm more against it i'm in the search of relationship but people don't want it
we're gonna find you love
i'm gonna find you love yeah i do think you deserve a really good a good
relationship well thank you
you know who loves one night stands is carlos is the king of one night you can
teach you a lot are you
not yeah unfortunately why is that unfortunate you do you want a relationship
now yeah it's just been
years and years are you good kisser carlos i think i'm good yeah i gotta be
honest with you yeah great
kisser really yeah he's a great kisser yeah kiss yeah you guys are you not yeah
but we've not
open mouth yeah a little bit yeah yeah yeah you guys have kissed what i do is i
don't go
tongue first what what i i don't do um bonsai style
yeah i i don't do pearl harbor oh right i don't do sneak attacks you don't know
i make the noise
and then i go back oh you back i go i back off right i don't actually hit pearl
harbor right you
you pull up pull up pull up i pull up i'm that coward remember in godzilla uh
minus one the guy who
couldn't i'm that guy he just couldn't do it no he didn't do it he bailed i
would have been that guy too
me too by the way you're in a plane you can't catch me i'm gone i know but you
said where are you
i know but in in um godzilla minus one he had to land at an airfield yeah and
he's like oh my my
plane's broke and he was like you're probably not bro yeah perfect condition it's
a perfect condition
but i think i would go pretty close and then pull up when you would just say it's
a mechanical air i
couldn't do it right but then you're out over the ocean no then you swim to hawaii
and go i'm hawaii
right why can't they say they're hawaiian they kind of look hawaiian well there's
certainly a ton
of there were japanese people in hawaii yeah yeah so you're you'd fit in i
guess that makes perfect
sense you think there's a story of a guy that's a movie we need to write for
bobby the one kamikaze
who didn't do it yeah and he ended up living in hawaii like becoming the king
of one of the small
little islands but there's no and then what what yeah sure no kings back then
it's a made up
okay you become a king of a little tiny island and then some someone an ex an
ex-military after
years later 30 years down the road you me yeah i i'm suspicious i come to this
little island i marry
a hawaiian and i'm like who is this guy mommy yeah who who are you gilbert you're
king gilbert huh
king gilbert the ninth there's generation generation of gilbert well there's a
rumor that you bailed as a
kamikaze pilot that's kind of being spread around look at my hair carpal tunnel
both hands oh you can't
fly i can't fly yeah that makes perfect sense all right well god bless you king
gilbert and then cut
to an hour later i'm jerking off and then you catch me he can use his hands
yeah
i'm jerking off and i'm jerking off and i'm jerking off and i'm jerking off and
i'm jerking off and