Name: Andrew Santino SHOCKED After Bobby Lee's Joke!
Uploaded: 2025-10-29T19:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino SHOCKED After Bobby Lee's Joke!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino SHOCKED After Bobby Lee's Joke!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-29. Transcript available.

Carlos, of course, is a, for, it's our Halloween,
it's our spooky Halloween episode.
Ooh.
You got a Halloween song prepared, Bob?
Huh?
Well, I'm ready for your lyrics now.
Oh, I'm not, no, I'm doing the beat.
Let's see who goes first.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum. Scary Halloween. Scary Halloween. Scary Halloween. Who
do we have in the studio? Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. What the f*** are you? Bum
bum bum. What the f***? Bum bum bum. You don't just get to moan. She thought it
was a native chant. Yeah, she's a party girl. She was going to do a haka there.
You know she's a party girl? Yeah. Yeah.
I'm not. What's going on with you? You know what's so funny? Going out with all
these black guys. Whoa. Yikes. Bum bum bum bum. Going out with black guys. Bum
bum bum bum. Sleeping over at black guy's house. Bum bum bum. Walking out of
the house like she just rode a horse. Bum bum bum bum. Bow legged. Bow legged.
Jules, Jules, Jules. Jules, what have you been doing? I've just been. Are you
dating someone new? Is that what's going on? Just seeing a couple of people.
Yeah. Yeah. Taking after. Every time though, she's just like,
like, look at this guy. It's this gigantic, handsome black guy. Every time.
You like a little bit of chocolate now, huh? You like your chocolate milk?
I love chocolate. You love chocolate. Fantastic.
How come I never see Asians in your little rotation?
I've done Asians. Yeah, I know you have. So.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've moved on?
Yeah. Moved on, moved up?
Try something else.
Yeah. Yeah, you got to try other stuff. And that's Carlos' life motto. You got
to try other stuff.
I do agree with that.
Honestly, we're not going to be able to hear a word that you're going to say.
Yeah, take that fucking thing off.
What is that, by the way?
It's a furry mask. It's like something a shooter would Google at night.
My favorite thing is you pretending like you did, like you already didn't have
that costume.
Oh, just order a furry.
Yeah.
Like that wasn't in your closet.
I've always wanted to try it since I saw it on Entourage like 15 years ago.
Who did a furry on Entourage?
Drama, has sex with a girl.
Who's a furry?
Yeah.
Shout out to the furry community.
Dude, I met, me and DeRosa in Vegas, met these two beautiful, three beautiful,
sweet women who were dominatrices.
And I wanted the down low.
And she was like, I'm a big fan.
Where's Bobby?
First question out of everybody's mouth.
Where's Bobby?
You're doing it with Shane?
Yeah, Shane.
I did a couple of shows in Vegas.
Yeah.
I have a photo for you.
What is that?
We'll show you a photo.
Okay.
I did a couple of shows with Shane in Vegas.
Shane, you know, just phenomenal, dude.
The venue was unbelievable.
What is that? Oh, it's a photo of me and Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift, yeah.
We're friends with Taylor Swift.
Oh, yeah.
You guys.
He's high class now, elite, elite.
No. No, we went to the football game.
It's funny that that's the only photo that they chose to snag of me.
The Times of India.
Oh, whoa.
Once you've made it, you've made it, man.
Yeah.
Taylor Swift surprising chat with Andrew.
Surprising chat with loser, ugly, ginger boy, Andrew Santino, Chiefs game.
Sparks his wedding diss.
Yeah, this was the most misinterpreted thing I've ever said.
I said.
I probably I had said on on part of my take, I'd said like they were like,
oh, you're going to go to the wedding.
I was like, dude, I don't know.
I also don't want to talk about it.
I was like, leave me the fuck alone about this.
But that photo, though, so you're mid smile.
You have you're like looking out.
You have your finger.
You have your finger here.
She must have said something funny.
So what so you say what she said.
Come on.
If you think I'm going to let you.
What's the finger about, though?
I'm sure I was trying to cover your mouth.
Yeah, it was covering my mouth.
I was saying a racially charged joke to her and I was trying to cover my mouth.
Yeah.
And she's in mid saying a punchline or something.
And you look at your face.
You've never laughed that hard in front of me ever.
What?
What?
What?
What?
What is she saying?
That's going to give you that reaction.
I actually don't look at that face.
Another moment in time.
I've never seen you make that face.
What?
What does she smell like?
Yeah.
What does she smell like?
Tell it.
Tell us.
I mean, you get it.
Why don't you guess?
Okay.
Rose matcha.
Rose hips.
Yeah.
Rose hips.
Rose hips.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, soft serve matcha.
That's just your favorite.
That's why you're saying.
No, no, no.
Just on the pits.
Um, smells like a global superstar would smell.
Whoa.
Bottle that up.
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
Dude.
She's so very sweet.
Very cool.
Very nice.
And they're very courteous to let me even come near, uh, uh, that booth because,
uh, probably
the most, uh, unaccomplished ugly guy in the whole click, but they let me, they
let me
in.
Wow.
Anyway, what was I saying?
You broke up my brain.
Yeah.
What'd you break up my brain?
What were we saying?
Oh, these dominatrices.
Oh yeah.
Joe and I go to get pizza after the Gillis show.
Um, and we go to get pizza and these three women, it was the cut.
Dude, this is crazy in Vegas.
It was the marathon, the four aces, the WNBA teams parade for winning a
championship.
Emo fest, which was you would have fucking.
Oh, I love emo fest.
Dashboard confessionals.
My favorite.
Well, blink played with panic at the disco and two, I don't know, three other
bands.
And we meet these three girls.
And I was like, oh, did you guys go to emo fest?
And she's like, kind of, we did something else.
And I was like, oh, what'd you do?
And she's like, we're dominatrices.
And I was like, I am so fucking curious about, like, I want to know.
I was like, what, like how many, what percentage of men do you actually like
hook up with or
who just wants the, you know, the game?
And she's like, it's much, it's way low on actual sex.
I got tied up once.
Oh, tied up is nothing.
This is like kick, beat, insult, drag, make you dress up in different outfits,
spitting, kicking.
I go, how many guys get like genital mutilation?
She's like a ton, a high amount of people.
Like razor blades to the privates?
Anything, kick, pull, squeeze.
What about shitting?
Yeah.
These were not Shiza girls.
These were not Shiza girls.
They're not German.
These weren't German girls.
Yeah, they weren't German girls.
They were like Vegas for a little fun.
Yeah.
Little poopy, poopy.
Circus, circus, poopy, poopy.
Would you ever get that done though?
Brother, why?
No.
Get tied up?
I don't like, no.
Why not?
I'm missionary for a minute and a half and then go to bed.
Really?
Okay, a minute, maybe a full minute.
Not even a minute and a half.
Yeah.
No, I don't want to get hurt while I have sex.
That's not for me.
I respect it.
I do easy mode first.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't go full blown master class.
I play as the first guy, you know, as the first avatar.
Like an NPC?
Yeah, the simple NPC.
Yeah, yeah.
This is me.
Yeah.
That's who I am.
I've been willing to get tied my hands behind my back.
You're this NPC.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My legs tied like this, right?
And just a light smack on the cheek.
I don't mind.
And then I'll go, you know what I mean?
Turn it up.
Turn it up.
You got to start with one.
You can't start at nine.
You can't start at nine when your first time getting tied up.
It's nuts.
No, no, no.
I go, okay, do that, right?
Just a little paka.
And then level two is what?
Two cheeks.
Double, double.
Yeah, two cheek it.
Two cheek it.
Pop.
Maybe she chokes a little bit.
Right.
And then maybe stick a toothpick inside the penis hole.
Yeah, yeah.
No?
No.
What level is that?
That's level five or six.
You're skipping a level.
I'm skipping levels.
You don't go from like pop, pop.
Oh, all right, all right, all right.
No, no.
Twist my nips.
Twist nips, twist nips.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Twist nips.
Yeah.
And I'm not talking about my Japanese friends.
Carlos likes, by the way.
Carlos is a nip twist.
Yeah.
But she was fascinating, dude.
I was so intrigued.
I was like, I want to know everything about it.
The one girl was very shareable.
The other one was like, I'm eating my pizza.
Leave me alone.
I wish I was there.
You would have loved it, dude.
I would have done it.
And they were rad.
She didn't tell, because I didn't want to ask her about finances.
But I imagine, because I did say, how expensive does it get?
She's like, well, some sessions are in the thousands.
So in the multi-thousand.
Why am I?
Yeah.
We have one right there.
But do people orgasm or are they just like the pain?
It's not about coming.
Yeah.
God damn it.
That's the best part.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Richie, isn't that the best part?
Of course.
Of course.
Yeah.
Me come?
Who, me come?
Yeah.
I would love to see Richie tied up, dude.
Can we get you a dominatrix and you'd be down to-
Sure.
Yeah, yeah.
We're going to film it.
Okay.
You're really down to be on cam.
Depending on how far it goes.
I also met a guy-
Level five toothpicks in the-
Oh, no, I don't have a toothpick.
I also met a guy this weekend who, in this familial group of friends, that I
guess we
had met before, he is a, he works in porn.
He started off as a film, as a filmographer.
He started off as McCone, right?
A shooter.
And now he, I go, you ever get in front of the camera?
He goes, I've been doing it lately.
I go, ooh, little tiny Filipino guy.
I go, what's going on with that?
Who is it?
And he goes, yeah, it's kind of cool.
I go, well, what are you, what are you like?
What are you doing?
He's like, I'm the cuck.
So he's like, I don't get to penetrate.
I'm the boyfriend that gets cheated on in front of me with the girl.
What?
Tell me, explain, explain, explain.
He's the cuck.
He, in the video of like, you know, like in a, in a porn where it's like, he's
cucking.
He just stands there and watches.
That's not him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he just stands there and watches.
Can he play with himself while it's happening?
No.
Oh man.
That's like the punishment.
Can he stick his finger in his own?
He can do nothing.
Okay.
He doesn't, I go, do you ever get to do anything?
He goes, no, I just have to watch.
That's what, that would be me.
I'd just be like, with one finger in there.
One finger in your ass.
I wouldn't even go up and down.
I'll just stick it in.
He was great.
He was very interesting.