Name: We Made Rudy Play Brad Pitt's Character in Se7en 💀
Uploaded: 2025-11-01T16:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Made Rudy Play Brad Pitt's Character in Se7en 💀' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Made Rudy Play Brad Pitt's Character in Se7en 💀' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-01. Transcript available.

- We have some famous horror movie scenes
to bring back old script reading.
- Ooh, I'd love to do a script reading.
Let me see Dax.
- Also since we have a professional actor among us, Dax.
- Do you see one that you wanna do, Jules?
I mean, you love scary movies.
What about Seven?
The scene from Seven.
Yeah, let's do Seven.
Who are you gonna be, Jules?
Mills or John Doe?
- Mills.
- Okay.
- You're John Doe?
- You're gonna be John Doe.
- No, no, no, you gotta be John Doe.
'Cause I wanna do stage directions.
- Okay, please.
- Okay, go ahead.
- Who's Mills again?
- I can't remember.
- What?
- Who's Mills?
- That's Brad Pitt's character, right?
- Then Dax, you are Somerset in this scene.
- Okay.
- And remember, Somerset, you're an old black man.
- You really gotta turn on that voice.
- Yeah, yeah, all right.
- Is it Morgan Freeman?
- Yes, it is.
- Have you ever seen the movie?
Okay, even better.
- Marshlands, early evening.
- Here he comes.
- What?
- What?
- What?
- Stop, stop, stop.
- You're Kevin Spacey in this.
- That was my Spacey.
- Okay, my bad.
- He was talking about a boy he met at the bar.
- Yeah, extension.
- Here he comes.
- Extension, Marshlands, early evening.
- Here he comes.
- What?
- I wish I could've lived like you.
- Shut up.
- What the fuck you talking about?
- Do you hear me, detective?
I'm trying to tell you how much I admire you
and your pretty wife.
- What?
- Tracy.
- What you fucking say?
- Too Asian.
Read the whole thing.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Mills freezes.
Turns to Doe.
Doe smiles.
Somerset is close.
- It's disturbing how easily a member of the press
can purchase information from the men in your precinct.
- Somerset starts running towards Mill.
- Throw your gun down.
- Now that is Morgan Freeman.
- That's it.
- Now that is Morgan Freeman.
Give me two of me one more time.
- Yeah, you're also screaming it.
"Throw your gun down."
- No, that was laughter.
- I understand that, but you know how far apart they are?
- Yeah, you're yelling.
- You're literally like, you know what I mean?
A quarter of a mile away.
- Go for it.
- Yeah.
- Throw your gun down.
- Very good.
- Same awkward.
- I visited your home this morning after you'd left.
- Mills is filled with aching terror.
- I tried to play husband.
I tried to taste the life of a simple man.
- Somerset is 50 yards away and closing.
- Throw it away.
- Louder.
- Throw it away.
- Loud as you can.
- Throw it away.
- It didn't work out, so I took a souvenir.
Her pretty head.
- Mills.
- Mills raises his gun in the air.
- Mills, gun in the air.
- No, no, no.
Give me the gun.
- What's going on over there?
- Somerset throws his own weapon away.
- Put the gun down.
- Show me the box.
What was in the box?
- Because I envy your normal life.
- Put the gun down, David.
It seems that envy is my sin.
- What's in the box?
What's in the fucking box?
- I just told you.
- You lied.
You're a fucking liar.
Shut up.
- Cut, cut, cut for a second, cut for a second, right?
Um, you, you, I think you subconsciously know
that there's something terrifying in the box.
- Yeah.
- And you, I think you do know that it's your wife's
severed head.
- So you're angry.
- You're angry.
- Much more panic.
- Well, how would you feel if you, if you did, if you,
if someone had a severed head of someone that you love?
- Scared.
- Scared.
- Yeah.
- And pissed.
- And mad.
- And mad.
- Rage.
- Imagine if someone came to you in the desert with a box
and Tito's, Bobby's head was in there.
How would you feel?
- Mad.
- But not with a smile.
- Yeah, I don't think that would be a good example.
I think, um.
- Somebody else.
- Yeah, um.
- No, I'd be mad.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, mad.
- Issa, your sister.
- Ooh, Issa's head is in a box.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- No, not in a happy, don't, don't.
- Yeah, yeah, why are you smiling?
- The smiling is crazy.
- Or let's go back to, um, uh, let's go back to,
it seems that envy is my sin.
- It seems that envy is my sin.
- What's in the box?
What's in the fucking box?
- I just told you.
- You lied, you're a fucking liar, shut up.
- It's what he wants.
He wants you to shoot him.
- No, no, you tell me that's not true.
That's not true.
- Become virgins, David.
- She's all right, you tell me.
- He's crying at this, she's crying at this.
- I'm crying?
- Yeah, kind of crying rage.
- Become wrath.
- Tell me she's all right.
- Are you laughing?
- If you murder a suspect, David.
- No, no.
- She begged for her life, detective.
She begged for her life and the only life
of the baby inside her.
- Somerset slaps John Doe across the face.
- Shut up.
- Mills' face lit fills with confusion,
then a wave of horror.
Doe's eyes register shock.
- He didn't know.
- Mills raises and lowers the gun a few times, sobbing.
- Give me the gun, David.
- Mill turns the gun on John Doe.
- David, if you kill him, he will win.
- Oh God, oh God.
- Dude, Morgan Freeman would be jolly.
- He would be jolly.
- Yeah, so good.
- Dax.
- Hello, okay.
Very good.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Yeah, very good.
- Good stuff.
- Very good stuff.
- Those are very good.
- Very good.
You wanna attempt Blue Velvet or?
- I don't think so.
- It's a good scene.
- Do you miss acting?
- It was good.
- Yeah, it was good.
- Yeah, it was good.
- Yeah, yeah, I love acting.
- We gotta get you back.
We gotta make him, we have to write a movie and get Dax in it.
- He's gotta be the nemesis though.
- You have to be evil.
- You have to be evil.
- Right, would you play an evil guy?
- Mm-hmm.
- What's the most evil thing you've done in your life?
- Kill the fish.
- Purposely?
- Purposely, but because my grandpa had left,
we went fishing and you know you have to kill the fish
after you catch it.
- You don't have to.
- Well, I couldn't get the hook out of its mouth.
So I, and then he had left to go help my mom.
And then I had to kill the fish with a rock.
- Carlos, will you Google serial killer tendencies,
ties with killing fish with rocks?
Is there a tie to?
- Well, check if it's like while people are fishing.
- No, no, no, no, that doesn't matter.
That's, I think we got two well-known serial killers,
Jeffrey Dahmer and Albert Fish have documented ties
to killing fish and other small animals.
- But I didn't like it.
- This, you didn't, it says right here,
neither of them enjoyed it while it was happening.
They were fishing with their grandfather.
- Did you cry while you're doing it?
- No, no.
- They show tendencies to not cry at all
while they're killing the fish.
Did you feel anything at all?
- Yeah, yeah.
- What did you feel?
- Terrible.
- Studies show the word they use is terrible at the beginning,
but then sexual arousal when it's over.
- Did you have an erection?
- No, no.
- Okay, okay.
- Most of them can't get an erection,
it says here because of the terror, terror.
Wow.
Do you think you may have some serial killer tendencies?
- Um, no, but that maybe aligns.
- So yeah?
- Uh, maybe one, maybe singular.
- Hmm.
- That, yeah.
- I think he's the opposite of a serial killer.
I think he's a good guy.
I think your heart is so pure.
- Well, he could just be a regular killer
and not realize, you know, he could.
- Yeah.
- No, he's not a killer.
- I think you're a sweet guy.
- Thank you.
- He's also a party guy.
I've seen him a lot in parties that I went.
- Okay, what party did you go to where you saw Dax?
- Um, the Zach Justice one and another one and another one.
- Oh, that's true.
It was my friend Ryan's birthday.
- Mm, and you went to that?
- Yeah.
- A lot of influencers, people there?
- Uh, I see that.
- A lot of young people?
- Who invited you?
- Zach.
- 'Cause you know she's on his podcast now as a permanent.
- Mm, I see that.
- Yeah.
- I see that on the internet.
- How do you, wait, wait.
How do you feel about that, Andrew?
- Well, you're a bad friend, then you do Tiger Belly,
then you do Trash Tuesday, then you do this.
You're kind of like a pod,
you're kind of a pod hopper if I'm being honest.
- Yeah, let's be, no loyalty.
- No, you're a pod hopper.
Look, there's a pod hopper right there.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, look at that.
Look at her.
- You're a pod hopper.
It's actually not a good thing to be.
- It's just family podcast, Tiger Belly.
- Ew, you pod hop with family?
- Look at this, more, more.
- You're evil pod hoppin'.
Yeah, that's what's evil is pure, is pod hoppin'.
- Yeah.
- You stay loyal to us, but no, she's pod hoppin'.
- He's pod hoppin', dude.
- Are you and Zach just good friends?
How do you know him?
- He to Bobby.
- Right.
So you introduced the pod hopper, too.
- Well, yes I did.
- Well, it's your fault.
- You know, he swooped in.
- Pod hoppin'.
- He pod hopped.
- Mrs. I don't feel like podcasting.
- I had to force you to do it.
- Yeah, now pod hoppin'.
- Now anyone asks, you'll do it.
- How excited are you about the Dodgers?
- Oh my God, incredible.
- You're such a big Dodger fan.
- I am.
- And where are they now?
- World Series.
- You name some of your favorite Dodgers?
- Yeah, Freeman I like.
Freddie Freeman, I like Shohei.
- The best.
- That other Japanese, that game that he played.
- The best game, it's probably the greatest baseball
- In the history of baseball.
- You're a big Dodger fan, Dax?
- Not as big of like any other team.
- That doesn't, that's not an answer.
- Yeah, that's not an answer.
- That's not an answer.
That's like when you say, do you like food?
And they're like, I like food like people like food.
- Yeah.
- They're Shohei, so handsome.
- He's handsome, elitist.
- Big boy.
- Big boy.
- He's a big boy.
- That's what she goes right to big boy.
- Yeah.
- He is a big, big boy.
That's Japan's finest export.
- He has Pearl Harbor energy all the time.
- Well, it's payback, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's payback.
- Yeah.
- And that's his girlfriend?
- Yeah.
- Right there?
- That's wife.
- Yeah.
- Oh, wife, sorry.
- Mamiko.
- Yeah.
- What is it?
- Mamiko.
- Say it again?
- Mamiko.
- Very good.
You don't have to, it's not Hello Kitty.
- That makes me look tan.
That's what I like about Japanese women.
They make me look tan.
- Yeah, yeah.
Do you think in his mind it's like,
I shouldn't marry because now I think
I could get white pussy.
- No.
- Do you think or not?
- That's what you think.
- No.
Dude, he's from Japan.
- Bob's mad now.
- He's from Japan.
His favorite, I think Japan, he has to,
he represents Japan.
He's gotta have a Japanese wife.
- Yeah, he has to.
- He has some dumb American wife.
What a waste of his time.
He's got some bozo goofball.
Like he played in Orange County before.
Imagine if he was with some Orange County girl,
some like Laguna beach chick.
You'd be bummed.
- She is very pretty.
- She's gorgeous.
- She's gorgeous.
- Gorgeous.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, beautiful Japanese girl.
- What's it, why you laughing?
- Because I know you have that mindset of like holding out
till like you have succeeded a lot.
- Well, Bobby, what are you talking about, dude?
'Cause you can get the hottest girls
when you're at your richest and most famous.
And I know you actively seek that.
'Cause I would too, I get it.
- You've said to me, an Asian American
at their highest pinnacle is getting a hot white girl.
- That's crazy.
- You've said that.
You've said that.
You've said that as a successful Asian American,
the pinnacle is getting a hot white girl.
- It's called playing in the snow.
- Playing in the snow, snow bunny life.
- Yeah.
- You say that, dude.
Don't pretend like that's not true.
Is that not true?
- No.
- It's not.
- Okay.
- Acting.
- I mean, do you think,
would you ever date an Asian woman?
- Yes.
- Have you?
- Um, no, I've been on a date.
- With an Asian.
- Yeah, you can't take this the wrong way, please.
You seem like you do like Asian girl.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- You've got, I like Asian girl, white guy energy.
- Yeah, like, it's almost a fetish.
- Oh, um, no.
Like a tech guy.
- Yeah.
- Sure.
- Do you like dried squid?
- I've never had that.
- Okay.
- Seaweed.
- When you watch porn, what do you watch?
- Oh, I don't know.
- He doesn't watch it.
Do you watch it?
- Um, sometimes.
- Uh-oh.
- What's your Google history?
I mean, your Pornhub history.
- The feds probably know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What were we talking about earlier?
- Really?
It's uncomfortable?
- Yeah, it is.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You don't want to talk about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's too, you know, it's so funny.
You, 'cause I know you now pretty well.
You don't like to talk real private stuff.
- True.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want to protect some things about your private life.
- Yeah.
- What is that you think?
- Um, I'm just too timid talking about porn on a podcast.
- I agree, it's stupid.
We shouldn't be talking about it at all.
- Okay.
- I agree with you.
- I agree too.
- Say it's stupid, guys, to talk about this crap.
- It's stupid to talk about this crap.
Let's talk about something smarter.
- Thank you.
- Oh, I see.
- And he's right.
Let's tell me, give us something smarter.
That is true.
What would you like to talk about that's more intellectual?
- You know much about the A1 Atlas meteor approaching Earth?
- Yeah.
- Is that what it's called, A1?
Yeah.
What, tell us about this comet that's hurling toward Earth.
- It's risky, but people aren't too worried.
- What's risky about it?
- That it could collide or something.
- But do you think it's an alien spacecraft?
- No.
- Okay.

We Made Rudy Play Brad Pitt's Character in Se7en 💀

- We have some famous horror movie scenes
to bring back old script reading.
- Ooh, I'd love to do a script reading.
Let me see Dax.
- Also since we have a professional actor among us, Dax.
- Do you see one that you wanna do, Jules?
I mean, you love scary movies.
What about Seven?
The scene from Seven.
Yeah, let's do Seven.
Who are you gonna be, Jules?
Mills or John Doe?
- Mills.
- Okay.
- You're John Doe?
- You're gonna be John Doe.
- No, no, no, you gotta be John Doe.
'Cause I wanna do stage directions.
- Okay, please.
- Okay, go ahead.
- Who's Mills again?
- I can't remember.
- What?
- Who's Mills?
- That's Brad Pitt's character, right?
- Then Dax, you are Somerset in this scene.
- Okay.
- And remember, Somerset, you're an old black man.
- You really gotta turn on that voice.
- Yeah, yeah, all right.
- Is it Morgan Freeman?
- Yes, it is.
- Have you ever seen the movie?
Okay, even better.
- Marshlands, early evening.
- Here he comes.
- What?
- What?
- What?
- Stop, stop, stop.
- You're Kevin Spacey in this.
- That was my Spacey.
- Okay, my bad.
- He was talking about a boy he met at the bar.
- Yeah, extension.
- Here he comes.
- Extension, Marshlands, early evening.
- Here he comes.
- What?
- I wish I could've lived like you.
- Shut up.
- What the fuck you talking about?
- Do you hear me, detective?
I'm trying to tell you how much I admire you
and your pretty wife.
- What?
- Tracy.
- What you fucking say?
- Too Asian.
Read the whole thing.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Mills freezes.
Turns to Doe.
Doe smiles.
Somerset is close.
- It's disturbing how easily a member of the press
can purchase information from the men in your precinct.
- Somerset starts running towards Mill.
- Throw your gun down.
- Now that is Morgan Freeman.
- That's it.
- Now that is Morgan Freeman.
Give me two of me one more time.
- Yeah, you're also screaming it.
"Throw your gun down."
- No, that was laughter.
- I understand that, but you know how far apart they are?
- Yeah, you're yelling.
- You're literally like, you know what I mean?
A quarter of a mile away.
- Go for it.
- Yeah.
- Throw your gun down.
- Very good.
- Same awkward.
- I visited your home this morning after you'd left.
- Mills is filled with aching terror.
- I tried to play husband.
I tried to taste the life of a simple man.
- Somerset is 50 yards away and closing.
- Throw it away.
- Louder.
- Throw it away.
- Loud as you can.
- Throw it away.
- It didn't work out, so I took a souvenir.
Her pretty head.
- Mills.
- Mills raises his gun in the air.
- Mills, gun in the air.
- No, no, no.
Give me the gun.
- What's going on over there?
- Somerset throws his own weapon away.
- Put the gun down.
- Show me the box.
What was in the box?
- Because I envy your normal life.
- Put the gun down, David.
It seems that envy is my sin.
- What's in the box?
What's in the fucking box?
- I just told you.
- You lied.
You're a fucking liar.
Shut up.
- Cut, cut, cut for a second, cut for a second, right?
Um, you, you, I think you subconsciously know
that there's something terrifying in the box.
- Yeah.
- And you, I think you do know that it's your wife's
severed head.
- So you're angry.
- You're angry.
- Much more panic.
- Well, how would you feel if you, if you did, if you,
if someone had a severed head of someone that you love?
- Scared.
- Scared.
- Yeah.
- And pissed.
- And mad.
- And mad.
- Rage.
- Imagine if someone came to you in the desert with a box
and Tito's, Bobby's head was in there.
How would you feel?
- Mad.
- But not with a smile.
- Yeah, I don't think that would be a good example.
I think, um.
- Somebody else.
- Yeah, um.
- No, I'd be mad.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, mad.
- Issa, your sister.
- Ooh, Issa's head is in a box.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- No, not in a happy, don't, don't.
- Yeah, yeah, why are you smiling?
- The smiling is crazy.
- Or let's go back to, um, uh, let's go back to,
it seems that envy is my sin.
- It seems that envy is my sin.
- What's in the box?
What's in the fucking box?
- I just told you.
- You lied, you're a fucking liar, shut up.
- It's what he wants.
He wants you to shoot him.
- No, no, you tell me that's not true.
That's not true.
- Become virgins, David.
- She's all right, you tell me.
- He's crying at this, she's crying at this.
- I'm crying?
- Yeah, kind of crying rage.
- Become wrath.
- Tell me she's all right.
- Are you laughing?
- If you murder a suspect, David.
- No, no.
- She begged for her life, detective.
She begged for her life and the only life
of the baby inside her.
- Somerset slaps John Doe across the face.
- Shut up.
- Mills' face lit fills with confusion,
then a wave of horror.
Doe's eyes register shock.
- He didn't know.
- Mills raises and lowers the gun a few times, sobbing.
- Give me the gun, David.
- Mill turns the gun on John Doe.
- David, if you kill him, he will win.
- Oh God, oh God.
- Dude, Morgan Freeman would be jolly.
- He would be jolly.
- Yeah, so good.
- Dax.
- Hello, okay.
Very good.
- Thank you, thank you.
- Yeah, very good.
- Good stuff.
- Very good stuff.
- Those are very good.
- Very good.
You wanna attempt Blue Velvet or?
- I don't think so.
- It's a good scene.
- Do you miss acting?
- It was good.
- Yeah, it was good.
- Yeah, it was good.
- Yeah, yeah, I love acting.
- We gotta get you back.
We gotta make him, we have to write a movie and get Dax in it.
- He's gotta be the nemesis though.
- You have to be evil.
- You have to be evil.
- Right, would you play an evil guy?
- Mm-hmm.
- What's the most evil thing you've done in your life?
- Kill the fish.
- Purposely?
- Purposely, but because my grandpa had left,
we went fishing and you know you have to kill the fish
after you catch it.
- You don't have to.
- Well, I couldn't get the hook out of its mouth.
So I, and then he had left to go help my mom.
And then I had to kill the fish with a rock.
- Carlos, will you Google serial killer tendencies,
ties with killing fish with rocks?
Is there a tie to?
- Well, check if it's like while people are fishing.
- No, no, no, no, that doesn't matter.
That's, I think we got two well-known serial killers,
Jeffrey Dahmer and Albert Fish have documented ties
to killing fish and other small animals.
- But I didn't like it.
- This, you didn't, it says right here,
neither of them enjoyed it while it was happening.
They were fishing with their grandfather.
- Did you cry while you're doing it?
- No, no.
- They show tendencies to not cry at all
while they're killing the fish.
Did you feel anything at all?
- Yeah, yeah.
- What did you feel?
- Terrible.
- Studies show the word they use is terrible at the beginning,
but then sexual arousal when it's over.
- Did you have an erection?
- No, no.
- Okay, okay.
- Most of them can't get an erection,
it says here because of the terror, terror.
Wow.
Do you think you may have some serial killer tendencies?
- Um, no, but that maybe aligns.
- So yeah?
- Uh, maybe one, maybe singular.
- Hmm.
- That, yeah.
- I think he's the opposite of a serial killer.
I think he's a good guy.
I think your heart is so pure.
- Well, he could just be a regular killer
and not realize, you know, he could.
- Yeah.
- No, he's not a killer.
- I think you're a sweet guy.
- Thank you.
- He's also a party guy.
I've seen him a lot in parties that I went.
- Okay, what party did you go to where you saw Dax?
- Um, the Zach Justice one and another one and another one.
- Oh, that's true.
It was my friend Ryan's birthday.
- Mm, and you went to that?
- Yeah.
- A lot of influencers, people there?
- Uh, I see that.
- A lot of young people?
- Who invited you?
- Zach.
- 'Cause you know she's on his podcast now as a permanent.
- Mm, I see that.
- Yeah.
- I see that on the internet.
- How do you, wait, wait.
How do you feel about that, Andrew?
- Well, you're a bad friend, then you do Tiger Belly,
then you do Trash Tuesday, then you do this.
You're kind of like a pod,
you're kind of a pod hopper if I'm being honest.
- Yeah, let's be, no loyalty.
- No, you're a pod hopper.
Look, there's a pod hopper right there.
- Oh my God.
- Yeah, look at that.
Look at her.
- You're a pod hopper.
It's actually not a good thing to be.
- It's just family podcast, Tiger Belly.
- Ew, you pod hop with family?
- Look at this, more, more.
- You're evil pod hoppin'.
Yeah, that's what's evil is pure, is pod hoppin'.
- Yeah.
- You stay loyal to us, but no, she's pod hoppin'.
- He's pod hoppin', dude.
- Are you and Zach just good friends?
How do you know him?
- He to Bobby.
- Right.
So you introduced the pod hopper, too.
- Well, yes I did.
- Well, it's your fault.
- You know, he swooped in.
- Pod hoppin'.
- He pod hopped.
- Mrs. I don't feel like podcasting.
- I had to force you to do it.
- Yeah, now pod hoppin'.
- Now anyone asks, you'll do it.
- How excited are you about the Dodgers?
- Oh my God, incredible.
- You're such a big Dodger fan.
- I am.
- And where are they now?
- World Series.
- You name some of your favorite Dodgers?
- Yeah, Freeman I like.
Freddie Freeman, I like Shohei.
- The best.
- That other Japanese, that game that he played.
- The best game, it's probably the greatest baseball
- In the history of baseball.
- You're a big Dodger fan, Dax?
- Not as big of like any other team.
- That doesn't, that's not an answer.
- Yeah, that's not an answer.
- That's not an answer.
That's like when you say, do you like food?
And they're like, I like food like people like food.
- Yeah.
- They're Shohei, so handsome.
- He's handsome, elitist.
- Big boy.
- Big boy.
- He's a big boy.
- That's what she goes right to big boy.
- Yeah.
- He is a big, big boy.
That's Japan's finest export.
- He has Pearl Harbor energy all the time.
- Well, it's payback, baby.
- Yeah.
- It's payback.
- Yeah.
- And that's his girlfriend?
- Yeah.
- Right there?
- That's wife.
- Yeah.
- Oh, wife, sorry.
- Mamiko.
- Yeah.
- What is it?
- Mamiko.
- Say it again?
- Mamiko.
- Very good.
You don't have to, it's not Hello Kitty.
- That makes me look tan.
That's what I like about Japanese women.
They make me look tan.
- Yeah, yeah.
Do you think in his mind it's like,
I shouldn't marry because now I think
I could get white pussy.
- No.
- Do you think or not?
- That's what you think.
- No.
Dude, he's from Japan.
- Bob's mad now.
- He's from Japan.
His favorite, I think Japan, he has to,
he represents Japan.
He's gotta have a Japanese wife.
- Yeah, he has to.
- He has some dumb American wife.
What a waste of his time.
He's got some bozo goofball.
Like he played in Orange County before.
Imagine if he was with some Orange County girl,
some like Laguna beach chick.
You'd be bummed.
- She is very pretty.
- She's gorgeous.
- She's gorgeous.
- Gorgeous.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, beautiful Japanese girl.
- What's it, why you laughing?
- Because I know you have that mindset of like holding out
till like you have succeeded a lot.
- Well, Bobby, what are you talking about, dude?
'Cause you can get the hottest girls
when you're at your richest and most famous.
And I know you actively seek that.
'Cause I would too, I get it.
- You've said to me, an Asian American
at their highest pinnacle is getting a hot white girl.
- That's crazy.
- You've said that.
You've said that.
You've said that as a successful Asian American,
the pinnacle is getting a hot white girl.
- It's called playing in the snow.
- Playing in the snow, snow bunny life.
- Yeah.
- You say that, dude.
Don't pretend like that's not true.
Is that not true?
- No.
- It's not.
- Okay.
- Acting.
- I mean, do you think,
would you ever date an Asian woman?
- Yes.
- Have you?
- Um, no, I've been on a date.
- With an Asian.
- Yeah, you can't take this the wrong way, please.
You seem like you do like Asian girl.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- You've got, I like Asian girl, white guy energy.
- Yeah, like, it's almost a fetish.
- Oh, um, no.
Like a tech guy.
- Yeah.
- Sure.
- Do you like dried squid?
- I've never had that.
- Okay.
- Seaweed.
- When you watch porn, what do you watch?
- Oh, I don't know.
- He doesn't watch it.
Do you watch it?
- Um, sometimes.
- Uh-oh.
- What's you