Name: Bobby Lee Learns How to Slide Into the DMs
Uploaded: 2025-11-05T19:30:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Learns How to Slide Into the DMs' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Learns How to Slide Into the DMs' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-05. Transcript available.

- Ladies and gentlemen, it's Funny Marco.
- Funny Marco, ladies and gentlemen.
- Say what, I was just, no, we in it.
- We're here.
- Like, we in it?
- We don't have to be in it, yeah.
- Hold on, did they already passed?
St. Patrick's Day?
- Yeah, it's my birthday.
This is my birthday episode,
so they're selling because I'm Irish.
This is my, this is my.
- Oh.
- I'm turning, how old do you think I am?
- In what, like?
- In year, human years.
How old are you, just looking at me.
- Well, I just learned that Tio Var is 56.
No, no, no.
- He's 45.
- He's 45.
- I didn't know that.
- But Burt Kreischer told me that you thought he was 29.
- Yeah, I thought he was young.
- Yeah.
- So how old am I?
- I'm gonna say 43.
- Okay.
- Very good.
What about me, Marco?
What about me, Marco?
- Do you have age?
- Asians, we do age.
- Oh, I didn't know.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I didn't know, like, you just always look good.
- Yeah, yeah, let me ask you this.
What kind of Asian am I?
This is a fun game.
- A beautiful one?
- Yeah.
- No, no, no.
Listen, Marco, can I call you Marco?
- Yeah.
- Right.
I'm not one of those Asians that get offended.
- Yeah, you can say what I mean.
- Throw it out there.
What's my fucking, what kind of Asian?
- I say, like, the one off of Hangover.
- Yeah!
The one off of Hangover.
- He's writing stuff down.
- Yeah, I'm writing stuff up today, so don't forget.
Okay?
Hangover.
And also, how old am I, Marco?
- Oh.
You don't age.
- I know I don't.
- Like, if you put up a baby picture,
you probably still look the same.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Put it up.
- But put a guess up.
- There's Bobby's baby.
- I think he looks the same.
- Look, and his dad right there,
his dad in that photo is 94.
- Yeah.
So, no guess?
- I'm gonna say 36.
- Wow, thank you.
- Oh, that's offensive as fuck.
- That's offensive as fuck.
I look younger than Andrew.
- God, that hurts.
- That hurts.
I'm 54 years old.
- 54.
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- How do you feel, like, what do your dad look like?
- What? - He's dead.
- He's dead.
- Oh, he is, he died.
- Yeah, yeah, he looks like that.
- How, I never.
- Okay, so what is, what is your culture again?
- Korean.
- Korean.
- Yeah.
- How are Korean?
- How?
- Say it back, it's only polite.
- Yeah, annyeonghaseyo.
- Annyeonghaseyo.
- Annyeonghaseyo.
- Ne.
- Okay, how are the funerals?
Can you break it down?
I've never been to one before.
-
- Oh, he's asking you, how are you today?
- I'm doing good.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
-
- You got subtitles?
- Yeah.
- For the audience, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay.
- Well, he asked about how your funerals are.
We love black funerals, we've talked about on this show.
They're probably the best thing in the world.
- Yeah, they are.
- Have you been to one of those where they prop them up
and they like play with them?
- I ain't did that one.
- That's the craziest shit I've ever seen in my life.
- Well, Asian funerals, we're quiet people.
- Yeah.
- Right, so we go .
- Everybody does that the same thing.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- So nobody cries?
- No.
- That's me crying?
- No.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
- They have smaller tear ducts.
- Yeah.
- So nothing really comes out.
- Yeah, smaller eyes.
- How you been to one, with him?
- To a Korean funeral?
- Yeah.
- No, you know, he invited me to one,
but I couldn't go.
But I do wanna go 'cause it does look like a party.
This looks like a party.
- 'Cause he lost his gi.
- I lost my gi.
- He lost his gi.
- That's an African funeral with the,
they're encased in there and that's a celebration.
- Yeah.
- She was a mermaid while she was alive.
- Funny, Marco, you think there are black mermaids?
- I wouldn't, I wouldn't know what a,
I feel like a mermaid would just be a no race, just nothing.
- Oh, it's a nothing race.
- I'll say that to her.
That's the new little mermaid, so she would disagree.
- Yeah, I just feel like it would be like see-through.
- Oh, like jellyfish?
- Yeah.
- Oh, translucent, I see.
- Right.
- But would you hook up with a mermaid, you think?
Where, who?
- No, no, no.
- What?
- Mermaids do have.
- They have?
- They have hole.
- They have hole.
- Mermaid have hole.
- Yeah.
- They are real?
- They are real, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Absolutely.
- They've only caught three, one alive.
Yeah, that's the hole right there.
- There it is.
- It's like a little diamond.
- You could fit in there.
- I'm glad you're here.
- Oh, this is the part where you're like, oh wow, yeah.
- No.
- Okay.
- No, I was contemplating that and I, yeah, you're right.
I could fit in there.
- Yeah, you could.
- Do you know why?
I have a small penis.
- Aw.
- I wouldn't call it like.
- No, my penis is fine.
- Yeah, it's good.
It's getting you somewhere.
- Yeah.
- Everybody likes something, you know?
So I feel like it could be big to somebody, you know?
- Yeah, for a little dwarf.
- If that's what you like.
- That's what you like.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Are you in a relationship?
- No, well, just, I'm just hanging out.
- What does that mean?
- I mean, I feel like relationships are just like, you know,
relationships, I feel like they just, they there, you know?
- Yeah.
- I feel like marriage.
- You're playing the field.
- Yeah, I feel like, yeah, until you get married,
it's like, you know, hanging out.
- Until you're married, you're just, you're doing your thing.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Are you married?
- I'm married, he's not.
- I'm not.
- He's single, he's ready.
- You want to go out on the town?
- What do you think was taking you so long?
- What does that mean?
- Well, you're 54, he knows, and so he's asking.
- Yeah, well, you know, I've been in long-term relationships.
They haven't worked out.
And then now I'm back on the prowl.
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, you can do that.
- So where do you meet your girls at?
Or whatever you like.
- Oh, really?
At the dojo.
Is that what you're saying?
- No, I don't know.
- Wait, what the fuck are you saying?
- I've never asked these people?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, yeah.
- Like on the app?
- No, yeah, yeah.
- Can we see how you DM girls?
- Well, let me call the emperor
and see if the geishas are available.
What the fuck are you talking about, man?
- Which part?
- He wants to see your game.
Show him.
- He wants to know that you have.
- I'm on a dating app called Raya.
- Can you show us like how you got a girl,
how it goes, a thread that you're comfortable with?
- Yeah, show a thread.
- What do you mean a thread?
- To read us what the exchanges is.
- Like if you can talk to a girl and get her number.
- How do you, or you don't, you're not on the apps?
- I'm on Instagram, usually I make sure
that they're single by watching their stories.
- That helps.
- Yeah.
- I got one.
- Okay.
- Can he explain how he gets girl?
- He's in, we gotta take this right now before we go.
What is it?
- No, no, I can do it.
I can later.
- In the end, always watch their story
and start a conversation.
Never going like you want to talk to them.
- What's your first line?
- It depends on what they post on the story that day.
- Okay, I'm, I've got, I'm in.
- Ibiza.
- No, what, no.
- Ibiza with the girls.
- No, I'm playing dodge ball with a Samoan.
I'm playing dodge ball with a Samoan, right?
He's yanked back, right?
And I'm going like, don't hit me, right?
- So what's that opening line?
- He's not interested, Bobby.
- She's a hottie, she's a hottie,
but she's playing dodge,
she's been playing dodge ball with Samoans.
- How old is she?
- She's a 10, but she's playing dodge ball with Samoans.
- She's 27 years old, dog.
Big titties, Brazilian ass, everything, right?
So she's like, ah.
- Born a woman, right?
- What?
- She born a woman?
- Who cares?
- You'll have to find out.
- Does it matter?
- You're going to have to find out.
- She has the right parts now.
- Okay.
- She got the op.
- I'll probably pass it to you if you like.
- No, okay, she's born a woman.
She is a woman.
She identifies as a woman.
She's just playing dodge ball with Samoans.
- Yeah, I just don't get,
I wouldn't be in that room.
- Right.
- What, it's an Instagram post.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- And then they post that.
- They posted that.
- How did the game go?
- How did the game go?
- That's good, fuck.
- Yeah.
- Finally, Marco.
- You said it like it was live.
You didn't say it was a picture.
- All right, so.
- Give him a scenario.
- I'll respond.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- All right.
- I like it.
I think it's smart.
How did the game go?
And the girl responds.
We lost.
Can you help me?
I'm down.
What do you say?
- Yeah.
- Down?
- There's a lot of double entendres happening.
We lost.
Can you help me?
I'm down.
- Yeah, I'm down.
- What does she really say?
- What's the next thing you say?
First time y'all playing it and I love to come and play with you guys.
- No, I play with Samoans.
- Yeah.
- You hear what you're saying?
- Yeah, that's fine.
- Come play with you guys.
- Yeah, I actually come play.
Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
- I actually used to date a Samoan and I let her know I very understand them.
- Oh, you understand their technique?
- Yeah.
- Based on the, 'cause you dated one?
- Yeah.
- You know Samoan dodgeball technique?
- Yeah.
- Based on the dates that you've been on.
That's insane.
- Okay.
- They family oriented, so you gotta like, watch out.
Like, you can't get too rough, you know, 'cause they together.
- It's a family, they really.
- Does Samoan's genitals smell different?
- I didn't get that far.
- Right.
- My first girlfriend and I didn't take her virginity
and she thought something was wrong with me,
but I just wasn't ready.
- Good for you.
- Aww.
- What's your favorite flavor then, of girl?
- I feel like anybody that love they self.
- Beautiful answer.
- But we're talking about flavors.
- It's just, it varies.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I got like-
- Can I throw out some flavors?
- I didn't date it all tight.
- Chianti.
- Yeah.
- Chianti.
- Yeah.
- Like that flavor?
- It's a flavor.
Anyway.
- Chianti sounds like a black girl.
- Okay.
- It does, yeah.
- How about hazelnut?
- That's a white girl.
- That's a guy.
- That's a guy.
- That's a guy?
- Yeah.
- Because of the nut?
- Yeah.
How about chartreuse?
- Chartreuse, sound like another guy.
- Sounds like a guy?
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Let's give him Rocky Road.
- Another guy.
- Okay.
- Give him a, oh, Rose.
- Rose?
- Yeah.
- That sound like an older woman.
- Okay.
Lavender.
- Yes, that, I like that.
- Lavender vag?
- I like an older woman that you can-
- Okay.
- She, you know.
- Lavender.
- Cook for you and put you to bed.
- Cook for you, put you to bed.
What about Rosemary?
How is she?
- Rosemary, an older lady too.
- Yeah, she's much older.
- Yeah.
- Would you date an older woman?
- Yeah.
- What are we talking, is the ceiling?
- If they got like some, you know,
something that they're gonna leave behind,
I'd definitely stay.
- Sarah Huckabee Sanders, bring her up please.
- Bring her up.
- Yeah, would you date Sarah Huckabee Sanders?
- 'Cause she did hear you were coming on the show
and was interested in talking to her.
- I don't think she would like me.
- Yeah.
- Now when you say you or anybody like you.
- Yeah, yeah, there she is with her three children.
- Right?
- Yeah, she wouldn't like me.
- Yeah, okay.
- She has no black kids.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.