Name: Bobby's trying to date his mom....
Uploaded: 2025-11-07T20:00:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's trying to date his mom....' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's trying to date his mom....' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-07. Transcript available.

do you have any kids yeah i got kids how many kids i got three kids three yeah
boy boy girl
uh i got uh two girls one boy other way yeah beautiful how old is the oldest
one uh 12.
she's mixed so the her mama is white and black and then i got uh i got me a
black baby and i
got a mexican baby oh you have different mamas yeah not an asian three mamas
let's get you an
asian three mamas okay is your mama love she is mama love yeah what is that
some sort of terminology
i'm not aware of mama love he said is your mother alive oh she's alive yeah
yeah is she single
she is single actually what would stop stop you got an instagram she doesn't
have an instagram i don't
like the line of she does tick tock but does your mom have an instagram uh mine
no she don't would
she like me why she like people that's like you know excuse me she's like
people that have been
through oh i've been through he's actually been through a lot yeah the fire
electrocuted
he's been shot at yeah electrocuted in a movie or like real life no in real
life dude yeah what was
that like yeah i've been hit by a mallet but if you was to get shot at and you
know who did it would
you tell oh i like this this is street knowledge are you i love it see that
again if you know who shot
at you and you could tell would you no homie because i'm not enough snitch so
you want to keep
them out there to shoot at other people i would snitch yeah yeah no i wouldn't
snitch but guess what dude
they'll get their day oh yeah i'll rip their ass off yeah oh well i'll rip it i'll
rip it have you been
shot at no who's shooting you you're so lovable why would i would no i'll say
that's what my mama
like she like got to get shot at wow wow every man she's been with has been
shot yes that's a
prerequisite for your mother yeah what a dating app yeah has she been shot no
she haven't oh good
thanks she keeps hanging out with guys that do it might no she stay in the
house though my mama's
like okay i got it i got it she stays in the house and she likes guys that are
in the streets
where does she live uh in kansas city kc that's where you're from yeah where do
you don't live there
now though no i don't where do you live now it's bad uh i live in atlanta wait
why what do you mean
it's bad in kansas city it's really like it's it's the crime rate is bad it's
bad really yeah
but how's atlanta though isn't atlanta up and down too it's so big like you can
like you can get away
from it yeah you can get away casey casey or casey mo casey mo okay i got a
question for y'all
go ahead what do you say like you know how would you compare what would you say
about your success
right now what do you feel like you haven't done yet that you want to do for
both of y'all what haven't
we done that we'd like to do i mean solo not together oh well we don't okay
well we don't do much
separate we're one unit you know i'll be honest with you i've done everything i've
dreamt of doing
i've been in movies i've been series regular on tv shows i've done stand-up on
tv i've uh toured i'm
about to go up in a hot air balloon for the first time yeah and i hope it doesn't
crash okay would
you go up in a hot air balloon i would you would yeah good would you skydive
yeah you would you
bungee jump i don't like that you don't like that i just went i just tried the
indoor you know sky
dang and it was a lot for me you didn't like that no i didn't yeah it didn't
feel good what's going
on man he's sick my allergies i think you're sick we're gonna get sick i'm
telling yeah i think you're
getting could you just be honest i'm sorry no okay so you know you're right you're
right yeah yeah i have
allergies and the asians get allergies as well wait a minute white people
invented allergies yeah they
invented it that's our thing no no you didn't invent that no we did you
invented a lot of stuff peanut
butter traffic lights the doorknob invented the doorknob the doorknob yeah yeah
do you know about
black invention yeah you know about all the black inventions because we go over
them on this show
pretty often yeah uh playstations no you didn't know that's it i think the
japanese yeah that's our
people okay yeah home security traffic lights yeah elevator doors gas masks the
modern door doorknob
though too blood banks uh ironing boards hair straighteners refrigeration air
conditioning super
soakers yeah super soaker is amazing lonnie johnson invented the super soaker
water gun
those are very important now would your mother date lonnie johnson because he's
he's into guns but they're water guns no she couldn't with lonnie johnson no
lonnie johnson
they say he just now got paid for that he never got paid he just recently got
paid for it
oh really he just got paid for a super soaker he just recently got paid for it
oh wow some white
guy claimed it was his yeah they never pay him wow look at that was the men in
black style yeah
wow look at him so he finally got paid lonnie johnson finally look it up it
says he just got paid
uh after many years like him getting paid for the super soaker and because some
scumbag took all the
money yes 2013 super soaker inventor lonnie johnson was paid after a legal
battle with hasbro which
acquired the company to license the toy 72.9 million dollars in underpaid royalties
wow now your
mother would definitely date lonnie johnson yeah she'd fuck lonnie john she
would fuck lonnie yes yeah
yeah well i have a little money would you fuck me no not lonnie johnson money
but i know i don't
have lonnie johnson no lonnie johnson money okay what do you think is the best
black invention
that's a good question uh they we got stop signs right traffic lights i think
was that was traffic
lights yeah that would be good that's huge home security we were just dying
before i mean home
security is so up because you just watch it happen but you like you know what's
happening but it's
like it's done like you can't do you can't do what do you mean explain if
somebody's breaking your house
you just see it but then you can do some action like call somebody now if they
made home security with
lasers where you can shoot through yeah i see they need that yeah now we're
thinking yeah lasers yeah yeah
yeah i always wondered like in the bank in the movies where they try to go
through why don't we
just have those in the house that's true you and i breaking into his house
breaking into his home yeah
we could just ask to go over he'd let us in oh you would i'm gonna break in oh
yeah yeah yeah i'm
living i leave my doors unlocked i live in a nice neighborhood you do you do
you leave your doors
unlocked yeah seems risky to me yeah really yeah i would never leave my door
unlocked i mean why because
if they're gonna want to go in they're gonna get in anyway you think if
somebody wanted to break in
your house they're gonna be like oh the doors is locked we're gonna turn around
tomorrow they're
still gonna get in well i would say it's a little bit easier i don't want to
get a new door right
dude let him in he's got something there yeah yeah now do you if they do get in
what do you do once
they're in you just let them have it or you you protect your house i don't know
it depends if i'm
there or not there if you're there oh i mean it'd probably be like a shooting
range you keep that you keep that thing on
you i mean not on me but it's like that thing at the house it's like john wick
style i got you yeah
is is does that georgia have eminent domain you know what that is right isn't
that what it's called
where if somebody breaks into your house you could shoot and kill them you
gotta scream and let them
know i got a gun i will kill you yeah right stand your ground that's right georgia
stand your ground
law eliminates the the duty to retreat before using deadly force so in georgia
uh no duty to retreat
the individuals are not legally required to attempt to flee a threatening
situation before using deadly
force so someone breaks in your home you could kill them right but i don't want
to
i just i i'd like to yeah but it's a free pass to kill somebody yeah but it's
like i know i'm with
you because it's like i don't want to clean my house up like it's in my house
all right right
funny marco you got plenty of money to pay someone to clean that house yeah how
about just go break
in a house standing i got that okay so once they break into your house you
break into their house
yeah so you would you would make an announcement do you think chess not checkers
well how would you say
it i'm breaking your house i want to do an act out right i've been trying to do
an act out for three
minutes trust me we've seen yeah right yeah yeah those are lasers
and i thought i was like i'm dodging the lasers right there we go right right
right i knew about marco has these lasers right right uh-huh and then all of a
sudden okay i'm
gonna steal this uh this mexican baby's toy kind of a mexican one right yeah
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
you know what else i wrote down with the lynch uh a half white baby's toy and
then i'm gonna ask
i'm gonna say who down there it's me bob it's me bob and then i'm gonna laugh
because i'll be like
what the is wrong with him why would he say his name it's bob lee right from la
right yeah that's when i
say i got a warning shot and i fire one in the air yeah but we're bros no it's
not and then when i
come down since you heard the fire and it has to go off again so you always got
to shoot one into the
air oh so i i have one shot to go away to go away yeah but then your roof has a
hole in it i know okay
and then you're gonna have one too so it's it's like you know well even i'm
sorry yeah excuse me
yeah you know it's me but we've met before lasers and everything yeah you did
go past the
oh i did yeah oh that's right because of my ninja skills ninja skills and i'm
on the corner i'm just
hanging i'm waiting for you to get that right okay are you the getaway driver
always okay good shot
oh wait oh they really seriously oh shit oh shit i guess we're dead if we go to
his house yeah
not mine i'm just saying in general just in general yeah i will let that come
in really yeah
all right we're gonna come over yeah are you an ass guy or a titties guy uh
depends on it depends
on what she wearing right okay well i'll tell you she's wearing like a halter
top like a cute little
halter top her stomach midriff is showing her stomach is showing flat stomach
beautiful huh you
talking about her no she's not no no not anymore what's down below huh what's
down below she's
wearing those pants that you know where that hugs your butt the span the the
stretchy pants where
it goes into the crack of your ass you know you know which ones i'm talking
about there's also a
little compartment where to hide the penis pop i don't know there's a little
combat where they
talk it they tuck the penis yeah i'm listening to him you didn't add that in
there show me the
stretchy pants that like your butt eats he knows which ones i'm talking about
and she's wearing
she's shoeless and she's shoeless no shoes and she's out on she's outside at
the park
you know these pants that like right that yeah the ones that like your butt oh
yeah yeah yeah those
those from the internet yeah butt crack leggings yeah and at the back you can
just see the tip
of the penis tuck back why marco why i don't know he hates it i'm sorry marco
is what you said i hate
no i didn't say no i said you hate that what penis i know don't say that
i'm sorry dude my bad i read it wrong you read it wrong yeah