Name: A Bad Friends Christmas Miracle!
Uploaded: 2025-12-24T17:00:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Bad Friends Christmas Miracle!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Bad Friends Christmas Miracle!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-24. Transcript available.

It's wonderful to see you again.
I'm Jack Skellington.
What's this? What's this?
There's comets everywhere.
What's this? What's this?
Tony Hinchcliffe everywhere.
Hello there, Grinch.
I'm Jack Skellington.
Hello, Skellington.
Hello.
How are you?
I'm at Boney Tills.
And who the f*** is that?
Lulu?
Lulu?
Who's Lulu?
Lulu.
Who are you referring to?
Me.
Who's Lulu?
Me.
Are you Lulu Boo Boo?
Ah, you bought me a Lulu Boo Boo for Christmas.
There is. There's a Lulu Boo Boo.
An expensive one.
I'm Jack Skellington.
I imagine this Lulu Boo Boo was a little bit cheaper
because it's a Filipino Lulu Boo Boo.
Yeah, a jungle Lulu Boo.
A jungle Lulu Boo?
Yes.
Happy holidays to all.
I'm Jack Skellington.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Welcome to the Bad Friends show.
Hey.
Hello.
Do you want to play a Christmas song?
I don't, well, we can make one up.
Let's make a Christmas song.
What kind of snow is this?
Cancer.
It's crack.
By the way, this is obviously so cancerous.
Yeah.
I mean, we're going to breathe this in.
We're all going to have, this is asbestos.
Live asbestos.
Yeah.
Sing me a song.
You've got to turn it on.
You've got to turn it on.
Christmas time for you.
It's Christmas time for you.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You've got to be silent with the red nose and the reindeer.
You've got to have pumpkin spice and all the glory as you did.
You know?
You get it?
You know what I mean?
The human spirit's alive this Christmas.
Isn't that right?
Duality, duality and expectations.
What are you doing, dude?
Cowbell?
How do you not know how to do a cowbell?
There it is.
You turn it.
Christmas time is forgiving.
And receiving.
But mostly giving.
Mostly receiving for me.
I know.
Yeah.
And taking.
And stealing.
And looting.
So please.
Please don't be biased.
Right?
Just try us.
Just try us.
And don't be pious.
Mary.
To Mary.
To Mary.
Yeah, yeah.
And don't be trying.
Trying.
Trying.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Really good.
Isn't it nice?
Will you sing a song?
Yeah.
Play the rhythm so she'll sing.
Yeah, yeah.
Ready?
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Be good.
Eggnog.
Don't be on the naughty list.
I love Christmas.
Yeah.
Wow.
Good.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
It's a hit.
Welcome back to Bad Friend.
Merry Kwanzaa.
Kwanzaa as well.
And all of them.
Yeah, marry all of them.
Dude, let's marry.
I mean, we got the Buddhists.
What do they do?
Yeah, what do the Buddhists do for Christmas?
Well, you know, they're eating rice for sure.
And they're lighting candles.
Christmas rice.
Yeah, yeah.
They're also doing a mmmm.
I'll tell you what I love about Christmas.
It's a white Christmas.
I'm the racist Grinch.
I'm racist as well.
I'm Jack and I'm a racist.
Look at my white face.
But my black body.
Which means.
Best of all the worlds.
I'm half.
Merry Christmas.
I can't do the mask.
It's too hot.
I can't breathe.
It's far too hot.
So, um, what'd you do for Thanksgiving?
What did you do?
I went to the Bay's house.
Oh, you did go to Michael fucking Bay's house.
Yeah.
You texted me.
I did.
Okay.
That's insane.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
I don't know if it was insane.
It's crazy you went to Michael Bay's house for Thanksgiving?
Yeah, yeah.
But it would.
Hollywood.
I'll tell you what I didn't do.
What didn't you do?
You know, I didn't laugh at it.
No photos of you like that?
We didn't take any photos.
No, I, um, I went there because the room of the previous year, I said.
You bailed.
I bailed.
That's right.
Out of fear.
And then they, then they, we FaceTimed Jules.
From Michael Bay's house?
Yeah.
Because they wanted to talk to Jules.
Yeah, but I was out.
She was out.
You didn't pick up.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then, um, it was a little awkward because it was, I didn't, I thought
it was going
to be like lots of people, but it was like pretty intimate.
It was just you guys?
It was me, Michael, um, his fiance, um, and then, um, his mom.
Michael Bay's mom?
Yeah.
And she was super sweet.
Was there an explosion at dinner?
Did anything?
But then I saw Bumblebee from Bumblebee.
Do you borrow his shirt?
What?
Do you borrow his shirt?
What shirt?
Bumblebee.
Oh, because it's yellow?
Oh, it looks, it looks like a Bumblebee shirt.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what he had though there?
He, you know, he has like a little museum down there in, in his, you know,
bottom floor.
And he had the, you ever see The Rock?
The movie The Rock?
Yeah.
One of my favorites.
He directed it, right?
Yeah.
He has that cylinder with the little balls in it.
No way.
Yeah.
And I, I held it.
Did you want to steal something?
Yeah, there was like all those like little knickknacks.
Wow.
Like a full-blown, Tina, yeah, that.
Wow.
He has that in his house.
Wow.
Like it's the original.
And then he also has like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes and all this
stuff.
Did you put one on?
No, no, no.
I would.
What Ninja Turtle would you be?
Michelangelo.
Definitely.
I'm Raphael.
Yeah, I know.
You're definitely Raphael.
100%.
Yeah.
And you guys thought I was going to be the rat, huh?
What's his name?
Splinter.
Splinter.
I'm not Splinter.
That's Splinter.
That's Splinter.
I want to be the orange one.
There's an orange.
That's, that's Leonardo.
Michelangelo.
No, that's Michelangelo.
I'm Michelangelo.
Cowabunga, dude.
Yeah.
Dude, that cowabunga, dude.
And I'm Raphael.
I'm tortured.
Yeah.
What are you?
Donatello, for sure.
Donatello.
Donatello has a sigh, right?
He's purple.
Yeah, Donatello.
That's 100% bottom.
There's a Raphael, right?
You're, I'm Raphael.
Oh, you're Raphael.
I have the sighs.
Oh, my bad.
That's her.
That's Donatello.
It's Donatello.
What else is there?
And then he goes, um, after dinner.
I mean, it was a great dinner, too.
But it was, like, awkward because there's a couple of guys there.
I think they're arms dealers.
I don't know.
They're just strange guys in, like, turtlenecks.
And, like, you know, they're, I don't know if they're Persian.
I don't know what they are.
And they don't talk much.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So, I don't know who they were.
And then afterwards, he goes, um, let's watch a movie.
Don't tell me he put on one of his own movies.
No, no, no, no.
That would have been so funny.
No, we watched Running Man.
It's a great movie.
In his theater.
Yes, you sent me a picture of his theater.
A photo of the theater.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's huge.
Huge.
How cool.
He's a full-blown movie theater down there.
Wow.
And then they wanted us to come over Saturday to watch a movie, but you were
not available.
You went back?
No, but they want to watch a movie with Jules.
Hmm.
Hmm.
And they invited you.
I have the invite, but you were out of town.
You have my invite?
Well, they go-
Why don't I have my invite?
Well, they go-
Is Andrew in-
I thought you were in Chicago.
No, I was here the whole time.
Oh, fuck!
Really?
You could have gone?
No, I was in Chicago.
Yeah, yeah.
You would have never gone.
I would have gone.
With you to Michael Bay's house?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For sure.
You would have?
Fodder for the pod.
Yeah, fodder for the pod.
I would have gone.
I mean, Michael was very nice when I met him.
Yeah, he's-
Yeah.
I mean, you know, was it strange at some point?
Like, when you wanted to leave, were you like-
I wanted to leave as soon as I got in the house.
Because it's not my-
I realize that I'm just not a social person.
You're not.
Yeah, I'm not like-
I don't do these things.
No.
I'm not good at it.
Well, you're-
Well, there was food.
So, I eat the food.
And then you're fucked.
I'm out.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then I wandered around.
And then, you know, in this backyard, there's deer.
What?
Yeah, but if you, like-
If you go to, like, Bill Maher's house-
You've been to Bill Maher's house?
Yeah.
Wow.
And it's-
You know, what these guys do is they'll buy, like, six houses.
Mm-hmm.
And they'll just-
You connect them all, and it's a compound.
Oh, yeah.
It's like one of those-
It's like vast.
That's cool.
One day, you and I will have a compound.
I don't think so.
Together, maybe.
What I'm saying-
No, not individually, but, like, you know what I mean?
I'll get this house.
There's, like, three or four buildings.
You get the four house.
Whatever house you want.
You know what I mean?
And then, in the buildings, maybe this one will live there.
Maybe the kids here.
Yeah, yeah.
No, thank you.
We want a house.
Yeah.
And then there's a golf-
There's a golf cart.
Oh, a golf cart.
Do you go from house to house?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
House to house.
I love this.
This is, like, the secret life of Mormon Watch.
What do you think?
I love that shit.
Yeah.
You do?
It's so good.
I heard about it for the first time last night.
What?
The secret lives of Mormon wives.
This is what it's like.
Don't they all live, like, right near each other?
Yeah, they're all in Provo, Utah.
Yeah.
In the area.
Well, tell me about the secret lives.
I don't know what's to see.
What's their biggest secret?
Because they're Mormon, their secrets aren't a big deal to us.
Like, they just kissed each other's husbands.
So, like, one time, I drank Coke.
It's exactly right.
Yeah, yeah.
And everyone's like, I celebrated my birthday.
Miranda!
I did.
You bitch.
I know.
They do coffee enemas.
They do coffee enemas?
What is that?
It's they put coffee in your ass.
Do people who are addicted to that shit?
Well, I mean, I love coffee.
Yeah.
I do imagine it would be good in my ass.
No, A Strange Addiction, there's a show that, and there's a couple that do it
every hour,
and it's getting out of hand.
You think so?
What?
It's getting out of hand?
Yeah.
They shove coffee in their ass.
Well, the first couple months, you're like, all right, I'll let it slide, but
every hour
for, like, six months, it's out of hand.
So, because they don't drink coffee, they can put it in their ass.
Is that the loophole?
That's like Catholics with anal.
But what's the point?
Because then you don't drink it, and God's not mad at you, but you put it in
your butt,
and it's fine.
Yeah.
You get high?
No, you get, like, the same pickup.
You must get a buzz.
Yeah.
Starbucks.
It's like a Starbucks but high.
Starbucks.
Yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Starbucks.
Bend over.
I've done wheatgrass animals.
What?
You put wheatgrass in your ass?
Dude, you don't know the story?
Wheatgrass ass.
When I was doing, when I was detoxing off of Vicodin and all my opiates, and
then Abby
brought me to that wheatgrass farm.
I remember.
Yeah, for like a month.
Yeah.
And then I woke up one day, I was just like going through detox, and I woke up
in the bathroom
with a fucking green juice all over the bathtub, bathroom, the floor, with a
tube in my ass,
and I was shaking.
I was trying to do my own wheatgrass enema.
You're doing your own.
Yeah, but they have the apparatus and all the stuff, and they teach you how to
do it.
But so this is a normal thing to put wheatgrass up there?
Or this was your solution?
Maybe I improvised.
I think it's yours.
Yeah, I think I found a garden hose.
Right?
That just sounds like a bit.
Someone's like, you know what I did?
I made Bobby Lee put wheatgrass in his ass.
Yeah.