Name: Shane Gillis and Bobby Lee Squash the Beef
Uploaded: 2026-01-01T22:18:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shane Gillis and Bobby Lee Squash the Beef' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Shane Gillis and Bobby Lee Squash the Beef' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-01. Transcript available.

- Go ahead and introduce our guest.
- Well, he's one of my favorites, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, man.
Shane Gillis, dude.
- Shane.
- Top dog.
- Top, top, top, top, top dog.
- Yeah, yeah. - Top dog.
- Yeah.
- Top dog.
- Buddies, you know, and we're, you know.
- Let's start it off the right way.
- What?
- Do you want to say anything to Shane after, you know,
about 50 episodes ago or something?
You dissed Shane pretty hard.
- I didn't know I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
- That's insane.
- You didn't?
- I saw it, it was really hurtful.
- Yeah, okay, so what did I say?
- Do you remember?
- He said I looked like I was a corpse underwater.
- Bog water.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Which, you know, you're not, you weren't wrong.
- Yeah, yeah, I know, and I hurt you, and you know,
my bad, dude.
- That's okay.
- And it's like, you know, to me, I look like,
I'm right next to you at the bog.
- Don't do that.
- Look, I did that with my mind, dude.
- That's pretty good.
- You know what I mean?
You want Asian magic?
That's Asian magic, dude.
- Telepathy.
- She's knocking stuff over?
- What, move over.
Oh!
- Hey!
- Hey, Bob Dylan's here, guys.
- Get in here, Bob Dylan.
- Yeah.
- Okay, here we go, hang tight.
- All right.
- Oh, thanks, man.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Got a show tonight.
- Is that a cautious wife?
- Yeah, take it easy on that.
- Sorry.
Consuming a lot of that content.
- Yeah.
- Are you liking all that stuff?
- Oh my God, I'm jerking off.
I got no back here.
- You got no back, bud.
- Yeah.
- Damn.
- I got it.
- All right.
- What's up, buddy?
- Oh, I'm hungover.
We did it up last night.
- Yeah.
- What happened down in Tucson?
- We did a show in Tucson, yeah.
- Yeah.
- What happened?
I heard you're calling out the driver.
Huh?
Oh, he was dropping bombs.
- The driver shit his pants.
- Farting up a storm.
It felt like New Jersey in there.
- Yeah, it was rough.
Then we're getting out of the car and he goes,
"Yeah, see you later, Robert, with your nasty rotten ass."
Jesus Christ.
- He was a bad driver, too.
- He was a terrible driver.
- I just want to go back a little bit,
back to your apology to Shane,
because I do want to make it public on the show.
- Uh-oh, okay.
- You're trying to hurt my feelings, man.
- Okay, can I, I'll be honest with you, okay?
You want to get real?
- I don't, no, I don't.
- Hey, honcho.
You want to get real, amigo?
- No.
- Yeah, I'll get real.
- Brother, when he goes Spanish, he means it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- All right, Los Pantolones, my amigo.
- Yeah.
- Okay?
- That's where I just ate.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I admire you.
- Shut the fuck up.
- That's worse.
- Give me a shot.
- No, that's way worse.
Keep talking shit.
I'd rather you, I'd rather you be mean.
- Give me a shot, amigo.
- All right, all right, all right.
So let's be real for a second, okay?
- Yeah.
- And don't interrupt, don't interrupt me, dude,
because that's rude.
- If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna call ice.
- All right, I'm not that type.
- No, they take Asians.
- Yeah. - Oh, they do?
- Oh, yeah.
- They take Asians?
- They take them? - Yeah.
- Please don't call them.
- Okay.
- All right, so, I love you so much.
You've been so nice to me, and I think we're friends,
and I, you know, look at me in the eyes, fool.
- All right, fool.
- All right.
- You can't find them.
- All right.
- That was a good one.
1980s shit, I love it.
- That's my whole act.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, I love you too, bud.
- All right, get back to him.
- All right, all right.
And when I said it, I felt bad.
When you texted me, it was a threat.
You know, we're done, or whatever, you know what I mean?
I felt bad about it, dude.
I thought about it, and I'm like,
I shouldn't have attacked you in that way.
And I really admire you, and I hope you forgive me.
- I totally forgive you.
- Okay, all right.
- I forgive you.
- Can we go with that now?
- I didn't need you to do that.
I thought that was wild that you did that.
- Yeah, that was crazy.
- I just kind of wanted to set you up to do that.
That was really cool to do that.
- I love you.
- I love you, I love you, I love you.
- How about, though, when I do say something,
what about when I say something about Shane,
and I'll go, like when I said, oh yeah,
and Shane's playing Lincoln Financial Field,
the football, the football stadium.
And then what do you say?
- That's great.
- No.
I fucking said something nasty.
- He goes, I don't want to hear about,
Shane's not the king.
He's not the king.
- Whoa.
- That's what he says.
- I cannot say that, that's fucking outrageous.
- We have a whole room of people that are-
- That's absolutely outrageous.
- Tansy, is that true?
Is that true that he says that stuff?
- It is true. - It is true.
Thank you.
- What the fuck, man?
- So who is the king?
- I honestly did.
I haven't slapped, you know what I mean?
I said that.
- You did?
- All right.
- All right.
- Right, fuck it, yeah, my bad, my bad.
- Because here's, can I tell you why?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Because he's like, 'cause I didn't want you,
you feel bad, I feel like, when you say it.
- I feel bad?
- Yeah, 'cause you're doing yuck-yucks
in these smaller places.
You're doing these like, you know what I mean, wise guys,
you know what I mean?
This is a great club, you know what I mean?
- You weren't you just at that club last week?
- I play it in two weeks.
- Yeah, so what are you talking about?
- Yeah, but you know what I mean?
- Don't step on me.
I play it as a celebration of the people that we work with.
- And I celebrate as well.
- No, you don't like it because you're 54.
- Oh, shit.
- You're old, and you think that's weird
that he's young and great, and you're old, and it's over.
- He's one of the best comics on planet Earth.
I've never fucking denied that.
- You say that 'cause he's here,
but not when he's not here.
- It's where you.
- Ooh, slam, what the fuck you doing, guy?
- By the way, we're good.
- Kevin Hart did the field.
- He did.
- The Eagles, and he only did 53K.
I think you're gonna go for the 70.
- Yeah, I'm gonna do the middle.
- The middle?
- I'm gonna do the round.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- So you can fit more people.
- I think doing a stage in a giant place really sucks.
- Yeah, yeah.
Like, the whole time I'm up there, I just see someone in the balcony, in the
back.
- Right.
- You know, that must be the worst show.
- Yeah, sure.
- Possible.
- Gotta go around that.
- I mean, a football stadium's not gonna be the best fucking comedy anyway.
- No, but it's a milestone.
- It'll be fun.
- It's gonna be great.
- What's that for you?
- Huh?
- What's that for you?
- What do you mean, what's that?
- What is that for you?
Like, what would that be for you?
- I'm confused.
- Like, Philly doing the football stadium in Philly.
- Oh, geez.
I guess the Superdome?
- Yeah.
- That's our big spot, you know, in New Orleans.
- But would that be what you'd wanna do or no?
- No.
- No?
- You know, we got the Sanger Theater, which is like our Carnegie Hall.
So that would be cool.
- Yeah.
- Well, I was a little rude today at the airport, that's all.
- What happened?
- A couple instances.
Going back to that now.
- What happened?
- You know how we segue back into like the thing, you know?
Well, you know, I haven't slept in a couple of days.
- Oh, yeah?
- I was in Vegas.
- Oh, shit.
You were in Vegas?
- No.
- Hookers?
- I went to Hustler Tuesday night.
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
- How much you spend?
- 2,700.
- That's not bad.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What'd you get for 2,700?
- Nothing.
- Handy?
- No handy, nothing.
- Come on.
- Yeah.
Well, the thing is, is that I was wearing these pants that you don't like.
- I don't like 'em.
- Yeah, yeah.
And she was doing, you know how, she had a bony ass.
- Mmm.
- And she was on what, I was very erect.
And she was doing one of those things.
- It's good.
- Excuse me?
You were correct, at that age?
- Nope.
- Yeah.
- No pill.
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
- El natural.
- Well done.
- In my man.
- Taking a blue Jew to go to a strip club.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
- But she was, you know, with her bony ass, right?
- Sure.
- And I was getting rug burns on my peepee.
- Oh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, and then at the end, she squeezed it.
I don't know why she did that at the end.
- She was looking for it.
- Dude, it's bigger than you think.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, it is.
- Yeah, it is, right?
- Yeah, bigger than people think, for sure.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It doesn't mean anything, but yeah, bigger than-
- You know what?
I'm almost at a point right now, dude, that if she leaves,
I'll pull it out.
- Who? - Oh, shit, get out of here, Beck.
- Yeah, yeah, Jules, she's like my daughter, so anyway.
- Oh.
- Anyway, can we talk about, I don't fucking,
I'm not talking about it now.
- Talk about it.
- There's too much time now.
- Talk about it.
- It wasn't even that great.
- You talking about the DC bomber?
- It's so good.
- What are you talking about?
- I have no idea.
- Don't bring up some more drama, emotional shit.
- No, I was just rude tonight, that's all I think.
- What did you do?
- Well, so, I was in line and it wasn't moving.
You know how that happens?
- Sure. - Not moving at all.
- Yeah. - And I don't have TSA pre-check.
- Yeah, which is, what?
Insane TSA. - I'm with you, I don't either.
- I don't have it. - What?
- You never got it. - You did clear?
- I did clear.
- Okay. - The clear line was useless now.
- It is. - It wasn't moving.
- It wasn't moving.
- Then I heard some Indian dude.
- Oh, shit. - Oh, this motherfucker.
- This motherfucker, right?
- Go ahead, what did he sound like?
- He had a regular American accent.
- Oh, okay, good.
- Why was he an Indian guy?
- I can smell him.
- Got it.
- Don't point at me.
I'm not with you on that.
Come on. - That's appalling.
- Anyway, this is a joke.
I couldn't smell.
But anyway, so I can hear him, like 20 people back.
- Yeah. - Going up to people going,
"Hey, I'm late for my flight.
Can I go ahead of you?"
You know, and people are like,
"Yeah, go ahead."
Right? - Oh, yeah.
- I couldn't wait for mine.
- Really, you hit him with no?
- Oh, yeah.
- Damn. - Because I was late.
- Yeah. - Yeah, I was late.
They were boarding while I was still in line, right?
So he comes up to me and he goes,
"Hey," I go, "No."
- No, you didn't even let him get it out.
- I didn't even let him get it out.
I couldn't wait.
I waited 20 minutes to get it out.
- Did he just stand behind you then?
- It was like in the gun, you know what I mean?
- Yeah. - So it came out weird.
- She just waits behind you? - No, like that.
- Wow, what did he do?
- He goes, "Okay, sir."
And then I kind of turned around.
And then I felt guilty.
So I kind of like, "You know, my plane's boarding too.
So we're all kind of late."
You know what I mean?
'Cause it's like, you know what I mean?
I had to explain it.
- Oh, right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then here's the second route thing I did, dude.
Right?
I'm on the aisle seat, you know what I mean?
First class.
- Did you just wink at me?
- I don't know. - Don't do that.
- Yeah.
- You're on the aisle seat.
- It was turbulence. - Uh-huh.
- Right?
Flight attendant did one of these.
- Whoa. - Oh, shit.
- Fell down to the ground, right?
- That's great.
- I didn't even move.
Dude, I did a look.
I went, "Damn, you've changed."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's because when I'm tired,
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
- You look tired, but you always do.
- Another '80s Asian thing, huh?
I love it.
- I'm trying to bring it back.
It's vintage.
- This might be, yeah,
I think all four of us are very tired.
- I'm wiped.
- This is a tired four.
- I'm exhausted.
- I'm exhausted.
- Yeah, yeah.
- But it's a good thing.
This is gonna make for a good show tonight.
Four tired shows.
- Five openers, everyone's just going,
"Yeah, I don't care."
- Everyone's exhausted.
- Are you gonna whip it out tonight?
- No, I don't.
- I can't follow that.
- Yeah, yeah, I don't whip it out.
Dude, can I say something right now?
- After we got fined, he stopped doing that.
- First of all, I've never whipped, no.
- Yeah, I'll get fined a million dollars.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I've never whipped my penis out on stage, ever.
- That's not true.
- My butthole.
- Butthole, butthole is his thing.
- Oh, butthole.
- Butthole.
- Got it.
- You know what I mean?
But not Toki the dum-dum.
- That thing stays.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, we got fined in Vegas.
- That's my penis is staying.
- No, we were in Vegas.
Where were we?
- Yeah, Toki the dum-dum.
- Yeah, we got fined in Atlanta.
- Yeah.
- He showed his butthole in Atlanta.
- In high school, I used to call it that anyway.
- How do you show a butthole?
Do you go all fours?
- Right there.
- Like he does it.
- Oh, look at that.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He does it too.
- But I do it away from the crowd.
- He does it too.
- Fucking hacking.
- Jesus.
- He stole that from me, dude.
- It's Bobby's bit.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's my closer, dude.
Anyway.
- Is that a phone you got going there?
- It was an audience member's phone.
They were like, "Can I have a picture with you?"
And I took his phone and took a picture of my butthole.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I gave it back to him.
- Have you seen this butthole?
- No.
- It's so nice.
- Because a lot of buttholes are brown.
- That's right.
- Guilty.
- Is yours brown?
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Like that Indian guy you turned down.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, have you seen it?
- Oh, yeah.
- How?
- Check it out.
Check it out in the mirror before the shower.
- You gotta see what's going on.
- Yeah, you gotta take a look.
- In about eight years.
- Take a look?
- You ever stood over a mirror?
That'll wake you up.
Holy shit.
- Really?
- It's like the seventh circle of hell.
It's like the valley of death down there.
- Yeah.
- You lay it down on the ground.
You squat right over it.
- Woo-wee.
- Yeah.
- You learn who you are.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's crazy.
When do you do that?
- Ah, usually around Christmas.
- Yeah.

Shane Gillis and Bobby Lee Squash the Beef

- Go ahead and introduce our guest.
- Well, he's one of my favorites, man.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, man.
Shane Gillis, dude.
- Shane.
- Top dog.
- Top, top, top, top, top dog.
- Yeah, yeah. - Top dog.
- Yeah.
- Top dog.
- Buddies, you know, and we're, you know.
- Let's start it off the right way.
- What?
- Do you want to say anything to Shane after, you know,
about 50 episodes ago or something?
You dissed Shane pretty hard.
- I didn't know I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.
- That's insane.
- You didn't?
- I saw it, it was really hurtful.
- Yeah, okay, so what did I say?
- Do you remember?
- He said I looked like I was a corpse underwater.
- Bog water.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Which, you know, you're not, you weren't wrong.
- Yeah, yeah, I know, and I hurt you, and you know,
my bad, dude.
- That's okay.
- And it's like, you know, to me, I look like,
I'm right next to you at the bog.
- Don't do that.
- Look, I did that with my mind, dude.
- That's pretty good.
- You know what I mean?
You want Asian magic?
That's Asian magic, dude.
- Telepathy.
- She's knocking stuff over?
- What, move over.
Oh!
- Hey!
- Hey, Bob Dylan's here, guys.
- Get in here, Bob Dylan.
- Yeah.
- Okay, here we go, hang tight.
- All right.
- Oh, thanks, man.
- Hey, how you doing?
- Got a show tonight.
- Is that a cautious wife?
- Yeah, take it easy on that.
- Sorry.
Consuming a lot of that content.
- Yeah.
- Are you liking all that stuff?
- Oh my God, I'm jerking off.
I got no back here.
- You got no back, bud.
- Yeah.
- Damn.
- I got it.
- All right.
- What's up, buddy?
- Oh, I'm hungover.
We did it up last night.
- Yeah.
- What happened down in Tucson?
- We did a show in Tucson, yeah.
- Yeah.
- What happened?
I heard you're calling out the driver.
Huh?
Oh, he was dropping bombs.
- The driver shit his pants.
- Farting up a storm.
It felt like New Jersey in there.
- Yeah, it was rough.
Then we're getting out of the car and he goes,
"Yeah, see you later, Robert, with your nasty rotten ass."
Jesus Christ.
- He was a bad driver, too.
- He was a terrible driver.
- I just want to go back a little bit,
back to your apology to Shane,
because I do want to make it public on the show.
- Uh-oh, okay.
- You're trying to hurt my feelings, man.
- Okay, can I, I'll be honest with you, okay?
You want to get real?
- I don't, no, I don't.
- Hey, honcho.
You want to get real, amigo?
- No.
- Yeah, I'll get real.
- Brother, when he goes Spanish, he means it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- All right, Los Pantolones, my amigo.
- Yeah.
- Okay?
- That's where I just ate.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I admire you.
- Shut the fuck up.
- That's worse.
- Give me a shot.
- No, that's way worse.
Keep talking shit.
I'd rather you, I'd rather you be mean.
- Give me a shot, amigo.
- All right, all right, all right.
So let's be real for a second, okay?
- Yeah.
- And don't interrupt, don't interrupt me, dude,
because that's rude.
- If you keep talking like that, I'm gonna call ice.
- All right, I'm not that type.
- No, they take Asians.
- Yeah. - Oh, they do?
- Oh, yeah.
- They take Asians?
- They take them? - Yeah.
- Please don't call them.
- Okay.
- All right, so, I love you so much.
You've been so nice to me, and I think we're friends,
and I, you know, look at me in the eyes, fool.
- All right, fool.
- All right.
- You can't find them.
- All right.
- That was a good one.
1980s shit, I love it.
- That's my whole act.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, I love you too, bud.
- All right, get back to him.
- All right, all right.
And when I said it, I felt bad.
When you texted me, it was a threat.
You know, we're done, or whatever, you know what I mean?
I felt bad about it, dude.
I thought about it, and I'm like,
I shouldn't have attacked you in that way.
And I really admire you, and I hope you forgive me.
- I totally forgive you.
- Okay, all right.
- I forgive you.
- Can we go with that now?
- I didn't need you to do that.
I thought that was wild that you did that.
- Yeah, that was crazy.
- I just kind of wanted to set you up to do that.
That was really cool to do that.
- I love you.
- I love you, I love you, I love you.
- How about, though, when I do say something,
what about when I say something about Shane,
and I'll go, like when I said, oh yeah,
and Shane's playing Lincoln Financial Field,
the football, the football stadium.
And then what do you say?
- That's great.
- No.
I fucking said something nasty.
- He goes, I don't want to hear about,
Shane's not the king.
He's not the king.
- Whoa.
- That's what he says.
- I cannot say that, that's fucking outrageous.
- We have a whole room of people that are-
- That's absolutely outrageous.
- Tansy, is that true?
Is that true that he says that stuff?
- It is true. - It is true.
Thank you.
- What the fuck, man?
- So who is the king?
- I honestly did.
I haven't slapped, you know what I mean?
I said that.
- You did?
- All right.
- All right.
- Right, fuck it, yeah, my bad, my bad.
- Because here's, can I tell you why?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Because he's like, 'cause I didn't want you,
you feel bad, I feel like, when you say it.
- I feel bad?
- Yeah, 'cause you're doing yuck-yucks
in these smaller places.
You're doing these like, you know what I mean, wise guys,
you know what I mean?
This is a great club, you know what I mean?
- You weren't you just at that club last week?
- I play it in two weeks.
- Yeah, so what are you talking about?
- Yeah, but you know what I mean?
- Don't step on me.
I play it as a celebration of the people that we work with.
- And I celebrate as well.
- No, you don't like it because you're 54.
- Oh, shit.
- You're old, and you think that's weird
that he's young and great, and you're old, and it's over.
- He's one of the best comics on planet Earth.
I've never fucking denied that.
- You say that 'cause he's here,
but not when he's not here.
- It's where you.
- Ooh, slam, what the fuck you doing, guy?
- By the way, we're good.
- Kevin Hart did the field.
- He did.
- The Eagles, and he only did 53K.
I think you're gonna go for the 70.
- Yeah, I'm gonna do the middle.
- The middle?
- I'm gonna do the round.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- So you can fit more people.
- I think doing a stage in a giant place really sucks.
- Yeah, yeah.
Like, the whole time I'm up there, I just see someone in the balcony, in the
back.
- Right.
- You know, that must be the worst show.
- Yeah, sure.
- Possible.
- Gotta go around that.
- I mean, a football stadium's not gonna be the best fucking comedy anyway.
- No, but it's a milestone.
- It'll be fun.
- It's gonna be great.
- What's that for you?
- Huh?
- What's that for you?
- What do you mean, what's that?
- What is that for you?
Like, what would that be for you?
- I'm confused.
- Like, Philly doing the football stadium in Philly.
- Oh, geez.
I guess the Superdome?
- Yeah.
- That's our big spot, you know, in New Orleans.
- But would that be what you'd wanna do or no?
- No.
- No?
- You know, we got the Sanger Theater, which is like our Carnegie Hall.
So that would be cool.
- Yeah.
- Well, I was a little rude today at the airport, that's all.
- What happened?
- A couple instances.
Going back to that now.
- What happened?
- You know how we segue back into like the thing, you know?
Well, you know, I haven't slept in a couple of days.
- Oh, yeah?
- I was in Vegas.
- Oh, shit.
You were in Vegas?
- No.
- Hookers?
- I went to Hustler Tuesday night.
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
- How much you spend?
- 2,700.
- That's not bad.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What'd you get for 2,700?
- Nothing.
- Handy?
- No handy, nothing.
- Come on.
- Yeah.
Well, the thing is, is that I was wearing these pants that you don't like.
- I don't like 'em.
- Yeah, yeah.
And she was doing, you know how, she had a bony ass.
- Mmm.
- And she was on what, I was very erect.
And she was doing one of those things.
- It's good.
- Excuse me?
You were correct, at that age?
- Nope.
- Yeah.
- No pill.
- Whoa.
- Yeah.
- El natural.
- Well done.
- In my man.
- Taking a blue Jew to go to a strip club.
- That's good.
- Yeah.
- But she was, you know, with her bony ass, right?
- Sure.
- And I was getting rug burns on my peepee.
- Oh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, and then at the end, she squeezed it.
I don't know why she did that at the end.
- She was looking for it.
- Dude, it's bigger than you think.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, it is.
- Yeah, it is, right?
- Yeah, bigger than people think, for sure.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It doesn't mean anything, but yeah, bigger than-
- You know what?
I'm almost at a point right now, dude, that if she leaves,
I'll pull it out.
- Who? - Oh, shit, get out of here, Beck.
- Yeah, yeah, Jules, she's like my daughter, so anyway.
- Oh.
- Anyway, can we talk about, I don't fucking,
I'm not talking about it now.
- Talk about it.
- There's too much time now.
- Talk about it.
- It wasn't even that great.
- You talking about the DC bomber?
- It's so good.
- What are you talking about?
- I have no idea.
- Don't bring up some more drama, emotional shit.
- No, I was just rude tonight, that's all I think.
- What did you do?
- Well, so, I was in line and it wasn't moving.
You know how that happens?
- Sure. - Not moving at all.
- Yeah. - And I don't have TSA pre-check.
- Yeah, which is, what?
Insane TSA. - I'm with you, I don't either.
- I don't have it. - What?
- You never got it. - You did clear?
- I did clear.
- Okay. - The clear line was useless now.
- It is. - It wasn't moving.
- It wasn't moving.
- Then I heard some Indian dude.
- Oh, shit. - Oh, this motherfucker.
- This motherfucker, right?
- Go ahead, what did he sound like?
- He had a regular American accent.
- Oh, okay, good.
- Why was he an Indian guy?
- I can smell him.
- Got it.
- Don't point at me.
I'm not with you on that.
Come on. - That's appalling.
- Anyway, this is a joke.
I couldn't smell.
But anyway, so I can hear him, like 20 people back.
- Yeah. - Going up to people going,
"Hey, I'm late for my flight.
Can I go ahead of you?"
You know, and people are like,
"Yeah, go ahead."
Right? - Oh, yeah.
- I couldn't wait for mine.
- Really, you hit him with no?
- Oh, yeah.
- Damn. - Because I was late.
- Yeah. - Yeah, I was late.
They were boarding while I was still in line, right?
So he comes up to me and he goes,
"Hey," I go, "No."
- No, you didn't even let him get it out.
- I didn't even let him get it out.
I couldn't wait.
I waited 20 minutes to get it out.
- Did he just stand behind you then?
- It was like in the gun, you know what I mean?
- Yeah. - So it came out weird.
- She just waits behind you? - No, like that.
- Wow, what did he do?
- He goes, "Okay, sir."
And then I kind of turned around.
And then I felt guilty.
So I kind of like, "You know, my plane's boarding too.
So we're all kind of late."
You know what I mean?
'Cause it's like, you know what I mean?
I had to explain it.
- Oh, right. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then here's the second route thing I did, dude.
Right?
I'm on the aisle seat, you know what I mean?
First class.
- Did you just wink at me?
- I don't know. - Don't do that.
- Yeah.
- You're on the aisle seat.
- It was turbulence. - Uh-huh.
- Right?
Flight attendant did one of these.
- Whoa. - Oh, shit.
- Fell down to the ground, right?
- That's great.
- I didn't even move.
Dude, I did a look.
I went, "Damn, you've changed."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's because when I'm tired,
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
- You look tired, but you always do.
- Another '80s Asian thing, huh?
I love it.
- I'm trying to bring it back.
It's vintage.
- This might be, yeah,
I think all four of us are very tired.
- I'm wiped.
- This is a tired four.
- I'm exhausted.
- I'm exhausted.
- Yeah, yeah.
- But it's a good thing.
This is gonna make for a good show tonight.
Four tired shows.
- Five openers, everyone's just going,
"Yeah, I don't care."
- Everyone's exhausted.
- Are you gonna whip it out tonight?
- No, I don't.
- I can't follow that.
- Yeah, yeah, I don't whip it out.
Dude, can I say something right now?
- After we got fined, he stopped doing that.
- First of all, I've never whipped, no.