Name: What Tom Segura Orders at McDonald’s
Uploaded: 2026-02-05T17:01:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Tom Segura Orders at McDonald’s' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Tom Segura Orders at McDonald’s' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-05. Transcript available.

my friend frank took me to a mcdonald's and what did they give you he's a
manager i got a
um double pound of cheese do you ever did you tell him then we went to the arby's
if the fries
and if wow i was like this is too much frank yeah frank went over the top if
fries aren't hot do
you ever go back and go 100 100 yeah i need these hot i need these hot i need
fresh fries yeah i
say that in in the window can i get fresh fries if you don't mind yeah i'll pay
for it they need
to be yeah i want the fresh fries you can heat them up with your eggs the next
morning and they're
really good no in a pan in a pan okay not in the microwave everybody learns
that the time you go
home and you take out your fries and they suck you put them in the microwave
you're like these are
worse now yeah and the pan's the way to go with your eggs just what i was like
a breakfast little
breakfast potatoes i took you to bizarre meets you ass i know and i i just said
out loud it was the
most amazing experience it was me you i forget who was there but a bunch of
people yeah yeah the bill
must have been a lot of lots of money we just ordered well jose andrej took
care of it yeah
whatever actually no no he didn't really yeah because i remember tom paying for
it invited you
to the restaurant then made you no no when i went this time he took care of
everything ah but that
oh back then also that that um weekend was probably one of the best weekends of
my life maybe even
yeah because we did that big show yeah it was me you shane burt um yeah at the
mgm grand and that was
really funny fun that was powerful powerful yeah powerful show strong night
yeah so anyway thank you
for that yeah and thank you for um tv show that was fun yeah and thank you for
um a lot of things
and i appreciate it i love you bob uh-huh i love you too man what's up does the
aggression stop
you know i have to go to therapy to see where where my hostility is i'm going
tomorrow yeah yeah are you
i'm going tomorrow really you have therapists here yeah oh wow yeah this guy's
got them all over the
place you have one in austin or just you have two or no just la yeah yeah and
you've been with this
is where they are they're here and you're with have you been with this person
this for for a long
time long time yeah i've been with mine for six seven years now oh i've been
longer oh really yeah
yeah it's so funny because they they don't they won't hang out with you outside
of the thing that's
not a thing that you i've asked you want to go get a bite to eat no we're not
doing we don't do that
i found myself have you ever have you ever asked your therapist to watch
something you've done
you know they say no no no he did and then i was like oh no i don't like the
idea of knowing me at
all i prefer them to not be familiar with me in any way shape or form i go i
talked about this thing in
the i don't know if you should watch it and then i i guess i was like implying
but i didn't directly
yeah and then he came back he's like yeah i watched it and he's i go he's like
i'm so that's so good
i was like ah you're like my mom you did a good job buddy good job i don't want
them to know anything
i want that to be kind of like a complete disconnect i want it to be like yeah
but he's checked out your
shit uh no you don't think so he's easy to find man uh you think he has that
list no no but i think
it's more like uh we two different cultural circles uh you know what i mean he's
a minority
he's gay he's gay so is he gay i don't think i'm his flavor of lifestyle you
know what i mean he likes
art high art we all like higher you like a higher right i'm a higher guy uh
yeah yeah i don't know
i've been to moma you've been to moma yeah yeah yeah yeah i've done the mama no
i think he probably
has a more intellectual consumption of his i don't think he likes fart it
sounds like you're his
therapist i am yeah oh you don't think your therapist like fart humor i don't
think he likes what we do
i think this would be something he's like this is some lowbrow yeah he'd go
this is nice for you
that's good that it's good for you it's good for you to do that yeah yeah yeah
yeah i hate it when
like i'm in a situation where like someone like someone recognizes me and then
like an old lady
will go well i'd like to check out what you know nightmare and i always go you
don't know you can
please don't yeah yeah please don't you'll hate me like on a plane yeah yeah
how do these people know
you yeah and then you go well i think they know me from i do there's a podcast
and yeah what is it
yeah yeah yeah and i'm always like do you say it i don't even say it i say my
well my name
is uh jason bateman and it's called smartless yeah my name is dad shepherd yeah
yeah and it's a great
show yeah and and we talked about that before none of those guys all uh they
all congratulations for
amy polar for winning a golden globe unbelievable the podcast unbelievable i
mean unbelievable i mean
unbelievable i mean unbelievable i mean unbelievable so good congratulations
what would your speech have
been if you won a podcast they'll never not nominate us no no no but they'll
never know about it
no i know but in the hypothetical fun world i would nominate you guys thank you
i would nominate you what would
your speech be okay bobby and the winner for the best podcaster of the year bobby
lee
this is the bed i would do
me oh that's good i would take my time oh yeah i would take my time take your
time yeah yeah and then i
would walk the opposite direction of the stage funny yeah it's funny funny
right and i would go
as far as i could until somebody turned me back around funny around and then
they go yeah yeah yeah
say something yeah yeah no so they and then have to and then i'll just be
confused i'll go toward
the stage and then i'll probably give the music starts playing you're off yeah
it'd be great if
that took up your whole time yeah yeah yeah i think that's what i would do yeah
i take up all my
whole time just getting up there that's very funny yeah yeah that's really that's
the funniest way to do it
but if you had like the mic see that's what i'm saying i'm trying to avoid it
so like go ahead
all right i mean you're going to talk about the situation in iran obviously
yeah you have to yeah
no i want to have a be good pin
check this out outrageous are you going to thank
anyway thanks for my thanks for the award yeah thank your crew for like all the
support no way yeah i
want to yeah i want to thank hey well first of all i don't even know why was
this even a category
smart yeah it's the golden globes i thought it was higher-end here but yeah
yeah yeah but hey nikki
what's up i'll call her out yeah and if she pretended if she pretend it's nice
to meet you bobby if you
pretend that she didn't know me met that man yeah yeah it would be war yeah and
i'd be like i just don't
even know this but anyway um yeah well you would have to get the award because
i wouldn't get it
alone it would be with you no you'd be podcaster of the year for sure you would
get it be you and i
no you'd get it no they don't do that they nominate shows would you want andrew
to speak yeah you do
the speaking thank you jews yeah and then you leave and that's a that's a win-win
patch yeah touching all
the bases there man be good and that we can't we both you know yeah but then
there's a secondary
interview now you're off the stage and now you're on like the backstage red
carpet thing with the
backdrop and they go bobby how do you feel you just won the golden globe i go
um i have to pinch
myself every day because um i'm just living in gratitude oh you do one of those
those are good
do you don't like those i like them yeah yeah those go a lot i i i'm afraid
that i would probably edit
myself because i don't want to say anything you know what i mean too crazy yeah
i'd have been like
i'm just happy that we beat two bears um yeah yeah it's just a big win for us
they weren't even
nominated they weren't no oh okay you would do that in the moment oh yeah yeah
we would do that moment
yeah they were just a little play they weren't even you know yeah remember when
they made fun of you
on your own show when they came in to do a swap we remember those guys yeah
yeah wow this is what
you would lead with yeah yeah you'd have to yeah you have a golden globe right
now you got to give
you got to give our fans what they really want man it's not about the globes it's
about our dogs
our fans yeah yeah people that love us and that's why we love them yeah we make
up your names oh that's
good benny creaker you know yeah yeah yeah yeah benny is really good and uh benny
creaker yeah yeah
and larry sagara larry sagara is very talented
you