Name: Bill Burr St. Patrick's Day Rant
Uploaded: 2010-03-17T17:23:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr St. Patrick's Day Rant' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-03-17. Transcript available. Bill shits on St. Patrick's Day.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr St. Patrick's Day Rant' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-03-17. Transcript available. Bill shits on St. Patrick's Day.

All right, so let's get down to the podcast questions of the week.
As I said, people send these things in to me, and I never have them in front of
me,
which causes long, awkward pauses.
All right, okay, here's the podcast question number one.
Bill, what does an East Coast transplant do on St. Patrick's Day?
You already know what it's like in Boston and in New York City.
Is it the same, or does no one in L.A. really care?
I might have mentioned this on my other podcast.
I do not participate on St. Patrick's Day.
I actually went out last night, you know.
I went out, I got myself a couple of Jamesons, and I had a corned beef sandwich,
and that's it.
I do not go out on St. Patrick's Day.
It's amateur night, the same way New Year's Eve is.
A bunch of people who don't know how to drink, drink way too much.
They wear green plastic hats.
They sing the fucking green alligator and the long-necked goose, all these
stupid-ass fucking songs.
And I don't know.
It makes me sad.
St. Patrick's Day, it makes me sad.
Because when I look at what the Irish culture has chosen to focus on, it's no
wonder we're all a bunch of angry psychopaths that even when we go to therapy,
evidently it doesn't affect us.
I don't know, is anybody else Irish out there?
Like, you ever go to a wedding that's not an Irish wedding?
I went to a Jewish wedding, and I went to a wedding a long time ago, this girl
who was a Pakistani.
And the weddings, they were beautiful.
It was really a nice environment.
It was all about the union of two people who were going to spend their lives
together in a celebration of that.
And you go to an Irish wedding, and the main focus is, like, when you get the
invite, it's like, dude, is it going to be an open bar?
Really?
I'm fucking there.
That's what it is.
That's all people give a shit about, is can I go there and get fucked up for no
money?
That's the big question, and then people get hammered, and then resentments
come out, and then inevitably there's going to be a fight.
Maybe that's why I like hockey.
Reminds me of all the weddings I went to when I grew up.
So getting back to your question, people do celebrate St. Patrick's Day out
here.
I go to this place, Tom Bergen's, down on Fairfax, just south of Wilshire,
because it's a mellow place.
They've got a jukebox in the corner.
They're playing music, but it's like background.
It's not like you're going to listen to this, whether you want to or not, sort
of martial law sound system that they have in all these other bars,
where you've got to sit there and scream at the person next to you, much like
they scream on ESPN.
Look at me just tying everything together this fucking week.
So, yeah, no, they definitely celebrate it.
Obviously, it's not the way it is back east, because there's not as many Irish
people out here, but they're definitely out here.
They definitely do drink, and they wear the green hats and all that type of
shit.
But there's no parade.
There's no bagpipes.
There's just the booze.
It's just basically bare bones.
There's a couple of corned beef sandwiches in the corner, and there's 12,000 kegs
and a bunch of plastic hats.