Name: The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-27-16
Uploaded: 2016-11-05T02:10:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-27-16' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-27-16' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-05. Transcript available.

The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-27-16

all right hey what's going on everybody it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday
afternoon just
before friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you i'm just
checking in on your
week here and uh usually you know what do i usually do i usually sit here in my
fucking pajamas
i fucking you know give you a little half hour of fucking bullshit to try what
it's payday right
you don't need a full show you're probably half in the bag at a fucking el torrito
at this point
if you're listening to it you shouldn't be driving but every once in a while i
do have a guest
i do have a guest and today we have the great joe rogan hey fucking uh grand
national champion of
taekwondo sitcom star fucking reality show a commentator right across the board
elk hunter
wild boar hunter i don't know what a fucking conspiracy theory fucking whatever
you want
this guy is his own fucking entity and he has a brand new killer special on netflix
entitled
triggered please welcome joe rogan thanks bill burr what's going on long time
coming dude i know
long time coming i love your show i have like you've been on mine a bunch of
times so it's cool to be on
yours but you're a big like interview guy i'm like a fucking lunatic who just
sits in the corner of his
house and every once in a while my wife walks by and i love the style that you
do because it's very
unique you know i've done a couple like that where i answer questions and stuff
like that but it's a
very unique style of you know you i think it lends itself really well to stand
up and to developing
bits too i just didn't want to deal with having a like book like you're fine
you're simple you're
okay come down to my studio perfect you know what i mean but like i just didn't
want to i saw what
other people were going through like oh i got an audition can we make it four o'clock
and i was just
like i don't want to fucking deal with that stuff but um um but when i if you
know if everyone could
be a guest like yourself can i start with the elk thing yeah because i am
fascinated with hunting
i think it's badass i think everybody should know how to do it and and i'm not
one of the i am an
animal lover but i'm not going to be that hypocritical one that fucking eats
chickens that
had their fucking beaks clipped off and they got the the roided out mark mcguire
breastplate
and they're tipping over in the coops all that shit that you see and then i'm
going to be like
oh how could you shoot a fucking pheasant or whatever the hell you're shooting
out there but
um i retweeted a picture of you got this what is it you said it was a 12
pointer how do you say six
six six by six they call it a straight six elk it's a six by six all right so
that means a big elk
that was the i've shot three elk that's the biggest one by far that one was
monstrous it was huge
so what is the uh this is the thing that always fascinates me about hunting
shows
is the nervousness and the whispering before you take the shot they're always
like okay there it is
yeah just relax okay exhale and just relax like if you miss i mean is the
fucking thing gonna come
running at you no that's what it seems like because you're trying not to spook
it because you have to
have it close enough for you to shoot it depending upon how you're shooting it
if you're shooting it
with a bow and arrow you got to be real close you got to be inside of 60 yards
most of the time
badass i shot one with the bow and arrow that one out there the big one i shot
with a rifle
dude a bow and arrow that's that's to me that's the shit i saw ted nugent he
shot a fucking bear
you know which i could never do i fucking love bears there's certain animals
but you know what i
mean bears are interesting i've i've shot bears you shot a bear i'll get you
some bear sausage i can't
eat a bear i've shot three bears i can't eat a bear they're good and if you
knew about bears i bet
you're delicious you're like a fucking sirloin well we're not even a filet mignon
you got like no
tender and juicy um that's what i've always felt that about you joe thank you
we think of bears i think very incorrectly because with the you know what the
word uh
anthropomorphization means when you put uh human characteristics in animals
like yogi bear and
shit like that or you make them ride a bicycle at the circus we we have this
idea that bears are
these cute things but where my friend lives in alberta where i hunt they
literally have to shoot
them because they don't have any predators so if bears don't have any predators
and they just breed
and they keep breeding and then they decimate the moose population the elk
population and
they cannibalize each other that's the thing that most people they kind of
handle it in-house
sort of but they eat babies that's what they do most of the time let me eat
babies they eat their own
babies the guy has sliders
little black bear sliders well why wouldn't you well it's it's brutal to see
you know we've we've
stumbled across paws and stuff from uh cubs with a male boars that's what the
ones let me ask you
this when you just find a baby bear paw in the woods i mean a part of your soul
has to just fucking
it's got to die or cry out like i i that's something i never want to see it's
very strange i
good i do have to admit though that uh bear hunting is not i don't like it as
much as hunting other
animals if i had to choose like what animals to hunt you can eat bear by the
way and that's the
only things that i hunt is what i eat black bear uh you can eat grizzly bear
but they don't taste
good most of the reason for that because grizzly bears mostly eat meat they eat
a few berries if you
can find a grizzly bear that was just eating berries it would probably taste
delicious they literally
taste like what they eat like hunters try to go after bears that eat berries
like black bears in
particular in the fall they'll eat blueberries they call them blueberry bears
because like as you're
opening them up their fat is like a purple color and it tastes like blueberries
and apparently it's
the most delicious meat in the world so without them realizing they're already
marinating themselves
exactly you guys they're flavoring themselves wow seasoning themselves but my
all-time favorite
animals are elk that's that's the best they taste the best the best for you and
uh you gave me that
that elk meat uh whatever the last time i was on here and i made a chili out of
it and then the
the elk burgers it's a little dry somebody gave me a hint to put a little bit
of butter in there to
kind of you know yes yeah you needed something like an egg or something to make
it stick together a
little bit yeah well you don't want to cook it too much because it's super lean
there's no fat in it
no i put a piece of swiss cheese and some prosciutto on top it's insane
it's insane you feel good when you eat it too it's a powerful food there's a
lot of energy in those
it's like there's there's so much nutrients in elk it's like way more protein
dense way more nutrient
dense plus they're kind of like because they're wild i know like the the human
like footprint as they
said you know acid rain and all the horse shit we do but at least it's it's i
would like to think it's
kind of away from the gmos and all that it's a way as you can get so and who
knows what gmos do to
you but like the fresh tastes better though it does it does taste better i mean
gmos everything's
that's a weird word like if you talk to real scientists about gmos most of the
time when you
talk about gmos you're talking to hippies and like yeah man you're gonna stay
away from gmos
genetically modified it's giving us cancer it's terrible for the water but real
gmos is almost
everything we eat every tomato you eat is genetically modified right they've
all been all through corn we kind
of we're kind of like guinea pigs to see like what what's gonna happen sort of
but most of it is just
splicing like i just found this out recently you know they when you buy pistachios
there's a place
up in um northern california where they grow is it stachios or stashios either
way pistachios
but i don't know who you're talking to you sound very regal when you did that
thank you pistachios
pistachios and joe rogan needs a pistachio i like it with tea shelled of course
i don't
shell them myself i buy shelled pistachios and i feel like i'm cheating because
i just take big
handfuls of them and shove them in my fat face no you can't do that yeah there's
a reason why there's a
shell on them because if you if you don't you're gonna eat a thousand of them
yeah i buy them in
these big uh like uh two pound boxes and i just pour them in my hands and i eat
them they're good
good for you too it's kind of guilt-free but you feel like you're cheating like
you don't have to
crack them i know i i i steered you off course there you saw what they were
doing when they grow
these pistachios the pistachio trees the pistachio bushes are not a big strong
tree so they graft the
limbs of the pistachio tree onto like an avocado tree a thicker stronger tree
and they grow pistachios
on an avocado tree like what the fuck but joe aren't we playing god at that
point are we're playing
god by driving cars too we're playing god by flying planes that is uh like
first of all i thought
pistachios came from the ground i thought peanuts weren't in the ground peanuts
i think peanuts are in
the ground is a pistachio nut wasn't it was jimmy carter was a peanut farmer
how did he do it should
ask him i think it was in the ground i don't know i don't know that's why i
want to hunt carrots are
in the ground yes they are worms are in the ground do you grow this is us
trying to recover that we
don't know any worms are in the ground birds are in the sky dirt yeah um do i
know i mean my my my
the guy who cuts the grass put him on so i got tomatoes i got lemons and limes
but all that did
was just make me like booze more because i'm just like i totally got into tequila
it's like there's
only so much guacamole you can eat you're just like what the else can i do with
this
um so i kind of got into tequila it's less of a hangover and dude i'm telling
you get one of those
big square ice cubes a really nice to keep just like a patron silver you put
that in there and then you go
pick a fucking lime off i'm telling you it's why you it's why i live out here
it's not the show business
it's the booze well you don't really have to live out here anymore right and
especially like your
podcast the way you do your podcast you just rant like you could do that
fucking thing and you do do
it anyway right but i also uh you know my wife's in the business too so she
does acting she just she's
doing a voiceover today and uh so she doesn't have that luxury and then also
you know um she would go
she would go crazy if if i if i you know if i just move to like the middle of
not saying i lived in the
middle of nowhere but i do when i go on the road i always have that urge like
when i go to a place
and i just start thinking like hey these guys riding around motorcycles no
helmets on yeah and it's just
like this look at that lake they got water here they got they got like you know
they got that it's very
lush land like living out here is is uh it's terrifying it's terrifying like
what what happened to the water in
silver lake where did they take that they closed silver lake an actual lake at
one point yeah
really it was man-made but the water's all gone now they're going to develop it
and yeah they said
they put it underground they didn't really say where it's just it's just gone
yeah dude when i fly
that's like it's one of the things i fucking would look down you go with dodger
stadium and then you start
coming then you see silver lake and i'm looking down like where'd that parking
lot with the big tarp come
from and the guy was like oh that was silver like ah they drained the water oh
they said they put it
underground it's all like vague dude do you know when i was in i was in nashville
this past