Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-10-16
Uploaded: 2016-11-11T21:30:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-10-16' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-10-16' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-11. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-10-16

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm checking in on you i'm just checking in on you i
really need
to check in on you at least half of you a little less than half oh jesus make
sure you guys are
right there's a lot of crying going on out there jesus christ i've never seen
so many
fucking adults crying in my life what is with all the fucking crying i get it
your person didn't win
but jesus christ you're making the left look horrible oh i'm going to canada i
love this
where people are like threatening like share share goes if trump wins i'm gonna
go to canada it's like
who gives a you know i didn't even know you were still here
look i'm not saying i'm happy i wasn't happy with either one of these people
all right
um but the level of arrogance of celebrities during all of this was just at
such a
whole other level do you realize how arrogant you are that you're making this
you basically you're
threatening that if if your candidate doesn't get in you're gonna leave the
country and your ego is
so fucking big you think somebody's going like well i want to vote for trump
but if he gets elected
we lose share
i got you babe the out of here heard barbara streisand really you're gonna
leave malibu to go
live in manitoba really you go ahead and do it i'll give you 40 bucks for your
house that ought to get
you that 9 000 acres up there go ahead go go move up to yellow knife the dumbest
shit but i i literally think like that's the level of ego that you have to have
as like an actor a comedian or something like that literally to i mean i know i
guess i talk about it
but you know i around i trash people i never told you guys who to vote for or
whatever i just trashed
them both i tried to evenly but that level that people take it to where they
just start uh
you know i kind of was on conan last night which was it was a really difficult
show uh to do last
night because uh you know you know people are like stunned out here they can't
believe it
um as i can't believe it in san francisco berkeley new york city and all that
type of um
so it was kind of weird it was like going on like right after a funeral i felt
so um
but i really think this is just my own opinion what do you guys what do you
guys think about
celebrities endorsing a uh a candidate because i think the candidates they also
kind of reach out
to people a little bit like i like i i've never understood that like why would
i be like
you know who are some of the people you know some of the people that have done
it like i just don't
understand it's oh oh you know i was gonna vote this way but the guy from my
three kings told me to
do oh the movie where he tries to get the sky miles the guy who did the movie
about this guy getting
the sky miles is telling me this should be the person to lead the free world
you know i got a lot of feelings on uh gun control but let me check in with
sean penn first see what
he has to say
the level of arrogance
that you have to have i don't know it's a fine line because it's like all right
well it's good that
they're involved politically but like you know there's a lot that once you're
famous then they're
actually gonna put a camera on you then you're gonna start talking you know it's
the same thing
it's when you become a huge fan of your team you know you're a big fan of your
team right
and you know you're always sitting up in the nosebleeds and then all of a
sudden you get a part on a
sitcom and then they got you sitting down there and then your team's doing well
and next thing you know
they're sticking the microphone in the face of an actor right to be or not to
be hey what do you think
buffalo has to do here in the second half well i'd like to see you uh i'm
checking down a little bit
it's like i don't i don't understand i mean you know what in defense of
celebrities regular people
do the same thing on the news and they get away with it because you don't know
what their names are
you see it all the time on these uh you know when you watch the news if you
ever watch the news they
always go we went out on the street to ask people what they thought about this
new target that's going
up i think it's going to take away jobs yeah you know i just think the downtown
area we don't need
that there's always that person right so maybe that's what it is that's that
person is no different
than any of those other people it's just i don't know i think once you get to a
certain level you
you kind of need to gracefully uh shut the up all right having said that can
anybody explain to me
why they're making such a big deal about the transition of power here as far as
you know we
hope that it's going to be graceful we hope that it's going to be the when obama
came in george bush
was very grace gracious he was very blood they all they all were my entire life
i've never you know
reagan didn't knock on the white house door and jimmy was just like hey get the
out of here we don't
want any there's literally cameras on that's another thing too there's cameras
filming you
as this transition happens everybody everybody's always you know you're going
to be grace gracious
they know well you look you know they don't like each other you know this one's
going to be particularly
weird you know considering the sizable overtly racist individuals that you know
i don't know what the they were hearing but they gravitated towards trump
so considering you know barack being the first black president to now let this
guy into i don't know
according to people i hear i don't i don't even looked it up was endorsed by
the clan
this is just nuts well that's it that was the end it's the end and now it's
over and now everybody
can fucking move on and um you know i got i did kona last night i think uh i
think it went as well as
it could have gone and then of course you know i got people giving me shit you
know i was trying to
say look whoever's president it's not really going to affect my fucking day-to-day
then of course yeah
it's because you're a fucking white guy it's like i get it i get it i get it
but your day-to-day your
day-to-day this is my and this is supposed to be uplifting by the way all right
knowing full well
that the world isn't fair okay and that some people start way closer to the
finish line than others
that's just how it is all right and there's advantages and disadvantages to
that you know
if you got to run further you always think that other guy oh yeah he's fucking
he's all he's got
to do is just fucking go right from there to there right and you see all these
fucking rich kids they
got drug fucking problems because they have no worries in life they're fucking
rudderless and all
that type of shit everybody wants to think if you're filthy stinking fucking
rich that you just skip
around your life is awesome um i've done enough corporate gigs to see that
there's not a lot of
happiness over there they're fucking weird really rich people i gotta tell you
out in malibu you know
neil always wants to go out to malibu she loves the fucking beach and we go out
there and there's
fucking you know these seaside restaurants and shit you know which are cool it's
great you
fucking watch people surfing it's awesome you go out you have a couple of crab
lakes and then
you get the fuck out of there but there's a mall over there all right the malibu
mall whatever the
fuck you go over there and i'm just telling you the people over there i cannot
put my finger on it
they are fucking weird really rich people there's there's some sort of fucking
disconnect i don't
know what's going on with them they just that i i said it to me i go what what
is what the
fuck is with these people there's no vibe there's no laughing what's going on
here and she just
she goes they're bored i think that's what it is i don't know i don't know i
did gigs um
um way back in the day i did some gigs out on the hamptons
no another place with like super rich people and they're just fucking weird
they sit there
and they all look at each other they're looking you up and down like i showed
up and immediately
they were just like all right this guy's in here for the day here's a day tripper
look at his
fucking sneakers yeah look at his orange afro nobody's red hair makes it in
this world
before they met donald trump how the did he go from a brunette to looking like
me in seventh
grade i don't understand it um anyways but yeah you make your own opportunity
and i think uh
you know as as depressing as that is it i always looked at that like uh i don't
know i always try
to see like what the i can do um i just can't believe all the names that i'm
hearing now jesus
christ newt gingrich rudy giuliani these guys are coming back jesus christ that's
like
that stallone movie where he took all the action heroes from back in the day
sagal and they all
got to have one last thing unless it's a hit then we'll make like three of them
what was that called
the last gladiator action hero to i don't know drink your juice in the hood
what the
with the expendables man this is like he's bringing this is like the republican
expendables
he's bringing all these guys back trying to think of another classic name he's
got to go for
from way back in the day somebody didn't die i don't know whatever but you know
something it's over
get on with your fucking lives and uh you know there's all these protested
colleges i don't know
what they're protesting i don't quite get it it's like there was an election it
was legal and your
person lost um i guess they're just voicing their displeasure with the fact
that this guy's in there
i dude i cannot believe that the host of the apprentice is now president of the
united states
and that people are this excited and hopeful half the country is excited and
hopeful you know what i mean
you know the most amazing thing ever are broke ass people that are republicans
that's the most amazing
thing on the planet so you guys in guys he's gonna make it great again for you
all right please keep
checking in on me throughout the years i want to know how your life into
individually will become great
again oh this country will become great again so then your life will be great
again all those people
who are galloping sideways um i love how he wants to fuck it he doesn't want to
have health care but
he wants to build a fucking wall from california to mexico oh how much money is
that going to
fucking cost oh but the job that's going to create get the out of here that's a
that's a government job
do you know bad all of these you know something that's one thing that they'll
never police but that
fucking bullshit where these contractors they get these government jobs to
build and they charge
10 times the amount that they should and these politicians just throw the money
around
and they don't give a or they have to do it whatever the deal is you know like
the
math on this whole thing do you realize like seven billion dollars was spent
to get somebody a job that pays 500 grand a year
you know why because i bet it was i bet it was a bunch of people that build
forms you know foundations
and that's what you know they were like oh man i gotta get that i gotta i gotta
build the wall man
you know some guy with the rusted out pickup truck
dude if i get that job all our problems are gonna be over i'll be building that
for the rest of my life
um what a crazy god damn time you know
everybody wondering how the this happened i think you know what it is is people
are still
digging out of what happened in 2008 and it would have been nice if one of
these
fucking pussy politicians would have said something about the fucking bankers
you know um i don't know
we will see what happens but uh yeah boy i'll tell you you know what's great
though was when i
went to go to the elect to vote i fucking had i i looked through all the
fucking uh propositions
everything i had all my filled it all out like a fucking old lady and i went in
there and i was 