Name: The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-16
Uploaded: 2016-11-17T19:38:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-16' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-17. Transcript available. Bill sits down with friend and comedian Ben Bailey.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-16' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2016-11-17. Transcript available. Bill sits down with friend and comedian Ben Bailey.

The Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-17-16

going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday
monday
morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you this is not an official podcast
this is where i
just check in on you on a thursday and see how your fucking work week is going
and uh most times
what you know the deal i do it by myself i lay around i shoot the shit i say
things people hear
things they think that it's about them and who is or isn't in the white house
who the fuck knows
but every once in a while i bring on a guest and when i do i don't just bring
on any guests i bring
on some of the most talented people out there and some of my great friends and
today this is no
different i have the great ben bailey from cash cab he's got a new special he's
got a bunch of short
films he's got a new website he's got a bunch of shit he wants to talk about
ben bailey what's up
man how the fuck are you i'm good dude good to see you yeah you too now i have
when was the last time
i saw you it wasn't last november uh might have been i feel like i've seen you
once since then
but we had to have some sort of festival yeah yeah maybe out here but you're
talking about walking by
to some social media tent you're talking about uh madison square garden no was
that last november
was that a year ago already yeah it was it was the uh shit the no longer toyota
comedy festival
oh really is it done i thought isn't it just a new york comedy festival oh yeah
it's just new york now
yeah do you remember how many years when we were in new york i came to new york
in like 95
right i believe and uh yeah that's just a couple years after me i started out
here and then went
back there oh okay and we did like what we did like maybe four or five thousand
shows together
yeah something like that i literally sat down one time and this is 15 years ago
now or maybe like 12
somewhere in there and i try to sort of have you know add up some idea of how
many stand-up shows i had
done what did you think i came up with 10 000 and that was that was you know at
least 10 years ago
probably more and you count a show is every time you go on yeah yeah just any
set i did anywhere
that's fair because anytime you go up god knows what the fucking happened yeah
it doesn't matter if
it's four or five minutes yeah somebody can still there's plenty of time to
have something thrown at
you yeah um an awful i you know something i i remember i kept counting until
about like 26
into 30 maybe and then i just lost it but i remember oh really you keep a track
of how many
you had done yeah i probably did too i don't even remember but i probably did
too i was always jealous
of people that did that because uh i'm sort of like like i like i hate stats
and like trying to figure
out what people where people are socially but i i love them in sports because
they're they're like
they're kind of fact as far as like how many home runs you hit you know that
that's like a ladder
too it gives you some something to go up against yeah but i i don't find the
bullshit like you know
they're all innate when it's raining out and blah blah blah with that when you
get to that shit like
i'm more into the how many yards did this guy throw for how many do you run in
or whatever stuff like
that right not in specific situations they do break it down a little too far
you're like what
yeah it's the the reason because we have like 9 19 maybe 24 hour sports
networks plus internet plus
shitheads like me and all that the whole thing it's just way too much
information and uh what i was
trying to get to was do you remember when the toyota comedy festival first came
around yeah it was the
funniest shit ever it was just this they would say that it was the festival
there was like nobody i
ever met that was connected with it they would just hang a banner it was just a
banner at the regular
clubs yeah and it was all the same regular performers there was no industry and
it would just be and i
remember esti would leave on uh this weekend we have the toyota comedy festival
and we have ben bailey
bill burr godfrey it was all the same fucking people except it was a banner we
used to have it took us
like we were all so excited because we had nothing going on in our careers yeah
they were like oh i'm
part of the festival it took about three years before somebody finally just
said yeah what what
is this shit beyond like a festival this is every this is a regular wednesday
right and somehow though
that morphed into uh an actual festival into the new york comedy huge festival
right which is i think is
you know there's a lot of festivals you know out there but like new york city
you got to have a big
comedy festival you got it yeah i think so i think it's great i was actually i
i was i've been a part
of it really uh but i'm supposed to be next year you laid the groundwork for
the first nine years when
it was yeah for the first nine years that's right yeah i was a part of it for
the first nine and then
they started booking people and i missed the cut or some shit i don't know yeah
you and me both
remember the uh the new york underground comedy festival i don't think i was a
part of that i'm
sure i submitted a vhs tape to it the joke was that it was so underground that
literally no one knew
about it was it down in like surf reality it was the same thing it was like it
was like a banner at
a couple of clubs you know and some guy some guy had a bunch of money was like
i'm going to have a
festival you know that's it that's a great way and from la and stuff and these
guys would come in
they're like yeah we're here for the festival and we're all like what what are
you talking about i'm
sure we greeted them warmly yeah like once you come home you assholes well the
last time well i guess
sort of meandering my way towards was that toyota comedy festival then morphed
into the new york comedy
festival right and that's what that the uh msg gig was last year and as i
mentioned amazing as i
mentioned to you guys you know obviously that was a nerve-wracking gig and um i
just you know i don't
know i can't remember how the came about probably from doing the goddamn comedy
jam or whatever i was
like uh right i i've asked my agent i was like hey wait we paid to rent that
thing all day right
considering 90 of the money is going to go right back to renting that giant
place i go yeah i said can
i like rent a drum kit first i was just going to rent a drum kit and just jam
with my you know my music
by myself typical comedian totally isolated but because of josh adamiters and
the goddamn comedy
jams they're like the people they're like we're gonna be in town so i rented
all this gear and um
there's this running thing with me and ben were for about eight years we were
trying to get together
oh you play music you play drums i play guitar we're gonna get together yeah
and every time
he'd come out here to la and it's like he's running around he's got meetings he
couldn't make it
and then i get to new york and he you're out in jersey and that's just when you
don't have a car
it's like oh my god what i'm gonna get on the path train to i can't get anybody
to come out gypsy cab
so finally like we're just like um i'd come to town and we were gonna jam and
then that's when i i we
finally solidified it and i was gonna drive out to your place so and you were
all excited because
you you've made it yeah yeah i have a studio that i built and everything i'm
like oh we're finally gonna
play in it and he's all amped up tell me how great his studio is and i was like
i don't know man i
think i got a better place yeah you're like i got a better place i'm like i'm
on the other end like
you mother yeah what the and i just said i did i give you the address i think i
told
you it was msg i said i finally i wrote back where like i was like it must be
someplace good
yeah like he's not just slamming my home studio that i built without having
seen it you must have some
good venue and then pops up msg i'm like monosodium glutamate yeah can't be madison
square
garden man that's right i knew when i said i have a better place your next text
was going to come back
in all capitals because ben doesn't take any from anybody and he's actually big
enough to beat the
out of me and about 20 other people so he's what the i totally insulted his
studio
so what do you mean a better place yeah so you ended up coming down and um as i
mentioned before
is that my phone oh jesus christ bill can you be a professional for once in
your life
it just makes it real it makes it real to the listeners it makes people feel
like they're actually
in the studio witnessing how unprofessional this is how many of them like
jumped up and looked around
i know because i do have when the phone rings they're like oh it's oh no that's
that's the standard
one like if you're ever hiding in the closet and there's a serial killer
walking around you know
there's a chance when your phone rings he won't know it's you he'll think it's
him
think it's his phone for a second and maybe you can drop on him you can run out
when he goes to look
at it you're smothering with your pjs oh it's a great scene in a film right
there oh there you
go killer checks his own phone he's like god damn it yeah could you once in
your life be professional
speaking of playing music is i have like the hearing damage that i have which
is inevitable if you play or
you do this rate of the hearing damage that i have is i actually got my hearing
checked like i still can hear
everything but i have a little bit of displacement as to where it is like it'll
be to the right and i
start going to the left yeah my wife's interesting man just laughs at me yeah
as long as it stays
at this level you think it's from doing stand-up and like playing music and uh
yeah having these
things headphones on all the time i know opie from opian anthony says my ears
are shot because what
happens is as your ears get tired you know you keep turning up and turning up
it's all about the
duration all right those guys do like four hours a day and uh i try to be
conscious of it but like
i fucked my ears up uh in the 80s one of my ears i got that tinnitus you know
it just rings at a real
low level or if i'm really hung over it but i mean i i don't have like like to
the pete townsend level
but uh so anyways getting back to it so right johnson right he had to quit i
know right but not from the
music from race car driving it's just like what oh is that what it's from yeah
that's what they said
it wasn't you know he's he's been in acdc all these years like the loudest band
but no that's
not why his ears are damaged it's from driving race cars one of my first times
i really my ears
up as i saw them on the uh what was it the heat seeker tour oh no i saw him at
matt uh i saw him at
the boston garden nice i think cinderella opened no no i saw him down in providence
it was a different
tour i saw them a bunch of times who made who heat seeker all there were not a
whole period i used
to go see him and uh i didn't have earplugs and as loud as that was the dude
driving home
he had the thing turned all the way up to 10. i remember just like sitting in
the back just
taking it rather than asking him hey can you turn that down yeah you're making
all of us no i i had
like that german-irish just like yeah don't complain don't complain suffer in
silence yes it'll it'll
be over soon anyway when you're in the back of a car and the guy's driving like
a maniac
and i'm like being polite yeah i'm like i don't want to offend him by asking
him to slow down or
whatever i'd rather just risk my own death hey not trying to be that guy not
trying to be that guy
but uh i'd like to live yeah i'd like to survive this ride yeah i don't want to
be in a halo at
the end of this but anyway so we finally ended up getting to play at madison
square garden which i
think it was worth the wait it was worth it that was our chinese democracy dude
i gotta tell you man
i wouldn't change a thing you can play oh you can 