Name: Bill Burr - Animation - Helicopter Bit
Uploaded: 2017-04-05T14:46:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Animation - Helicopter Bit' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Animation - Helicopter Bit' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-04-05. Transcript available.

I saw this story down in Orange County, right?
Down in Orange County, California, this guy gave helicopter tours for 30 years.
30 years without incident.
Hands the business off to his son.
The American dream.
I built it up for 30 years.
There you go, son.
Make the family and the family game proud.
All right, Dad, I love you.
Right?
This poor kid, five days in, he's supposed to give a tour to a couple.
Only the dude shows up.
The kid thought it was weird, but he's like, I need the money.
I've got to give him a tour.
Right?
So he takes this guy up.
Ten minutes into the tour, the dude fucking jumped out.
Yeah.
Five days in.
Five days in from the balloons and the cake.
We love you, son.
Keep the family tree going.
The traditional line.
Five fucking days later, this kid, he probably barely had the speech down.
Just sitting there flying the helicopter.
All right, if you look out the left side of the aircraft.
That's Orange County.
There's over 27 miles of beaches.
Put your seatbelt back on.
27 miles of beaches.
Was established as a county in 1903.
Sir, please don't open the door.
Sir, what are you doing?
No.
No.
Don't.
No.
Stop.
No.
No.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Fuck.
Air traffic control.
I don't know who's on this frequency, but you really need some of your stuff on
this fucking
helicopter.
Five days in.
So I read further into the story.
Turns out the guy who jumped out.
He was 61 years old, terminally ill.
He was in pain every day.
They couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, and he had had enough.
At that point, that guy immediately became a hero in my world, right?
You know what I love about him?
Not only did he make the decision, he didn't go out like some pussy, right?
Handful of pills, watching a romantic comedy, wrapped in an afghan that Nana
made.
Fuck that.
Guy went out like a man.
Take me up in a chopper.
I'm looking at the land I love, and then I'm jumping out like a superhero.
I loved it.
Yeah.
This guy, this guy should have been wearing a fucking cape.
I can't imagine how elated he must have been on that helicopter ride up after
finally,
you know, just taking back control of his life.
Like, fuck you, disease.
I decide.
You know, ripping tubes out, gets a burger, shotguns a beer.
Take me up in the chopper.
Probably had his fucking foot on the dashboard.
You know, he's not even listening to this guy giving the tour, right?
Over, over 27 miles of beaches.
Put your seatbelt back on.
Established as a county in 1903.
Sir, please don't try to open the door.
No.
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't do that.
Incredible.
But here's the thing.
I left out one small thing.
There is one small thing.
The guy fucking lived.
Yeah.
Yeah, they were out over the ocean, 500 feet up.
You'd think that would be enough.
So, I'm thinking he must have gone in like Greg Louganis.
Like, no splash.
But witnesses said it looked like a dummy was falling out of the air.
So, that sounds like a hell of an impact.
I think he accidentally did the most epic 500 foot belly flop in the history of
jumping out of a helicopter.
You know?
But that didn't change what he was trying to do.
Where his heart was.
I still love this guy.
I just feel bad for him.
Just on the way down, he's got to be thinking, three more seconds of pain.
Two more seconds.
Oh my God, this is worse.
This is way worse.
It has a happy ending though.
He later died at the hospital.
That's right.
So, here's to him.
God bless him.
I hope I have the ball someday.