Name: Bill Burr - On Company Microchipping It's Employees, Giving Your Fingerprint and Politician C***S
Uploaded: 2017-07-25T20:17:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - On Company Microchipping It's Employees, Giving Your Fingerprint and Politician C***S' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - On Company Microchipping It's Employees, Giving Your Fingerprint and Politician C***S' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-07-25. Transcript available.

all right microchipping oh god don't even get me started on this
i i just cannot fucking but like
i i just can't fucking believe this shit do you know delta airlines wants to
start using people's
fingerprints as a way for you to get on the fucking plane and do you know that
most people
won't have a problem with it they're so fucking stupid it's like there's so
many people out in
the world it's almost like you know what dude why don't you just become a
fucking slave like how
much you're going to give to these people how underpaid are politicians that
they will not stand
up to these people these corporations i swear to god they're sitting there
wasting all this fucking
time with isis and all this other bullshit these fucking corporations the
mother shit that they're
doing to their own goddamn countrymen which they really don't have because they're
fucking global
they don't give a shit about anything about just trying to make more fucking
money and
dude they want they're going to start microchipping people this was called wisconsin
company to implant
mic implant microchips uh in employees and like like five people already agreed
to it they're going to
take something foreign that's not natural to your body and they're going to
stick it underneath your
fucking skin they're going to know where you are at all fucking times and all
these fucking those well
hey you know if you're not doing anything wrong what's your fucking problem
here's the fucking problem
okay just because you're a fucking dope doesn't mean the rest of the world is
okay i think it's safe to say that me and everybody else listening to this
thing for the
most part was not as smart as fucking george washington right fair enough okay
well here's the deal
if george washington was microchipped and all his fucking buddies were microchipped
this fucking
country wouldn't exist because they would have known where he was they would
have gone over there
and they would have fucking killed him and that would have been the end of the
fucking rebellion
so what you're doing is is you're having faith that these fucking people at the
top who have not
even remotely demonstrated on any fucking level at any point in history that
they give a flying
fuck about anybody other than themselves are gonna you're gonna turn over that
level of power
you're gonna get fingerprinted by delta fucking airlines like you've committed
some
some sort of a fucking crime a fucking airline is gonna have your fucking
fingerprints who in the
fuck did they think they are do you know when i went to buy my car they asked
for my thumbprint
i was like i'm not getting my fucking fingerprints to a you're a car dealership
they go this is to
protect you no it isn't you douche you're gonna sell this to somebody it's part
of my profile i think
they're just they're collecting they're all sharing information about you what
you buy where you live what your social security
number is your fucking fingerprints they're gonna get it all the way down to
your fucking dna
it's it's i don't know
and these politicians will not push back on any level because the president
makes 500 grand a year
that's the highest paid political office is 500 fucking grand a year and they
need a hundred million dollars to get the job
i don't have a hundred million you don't have a hundred million corporations do
and that's who they owe it to
so they just look the other way and what do they do they sit there and they
shit on comedians
constantly going after do you hear what he said about caitlin jenner and they
look the other way with
pharmaceutical companies handing out opiates like they're giving out flyers to
some sort of jam band
and now we got this heroin problem they don't give a they don't say anything
about it
sorry i know i'm losing my shit here but like
what they've done to the food supply
what the they've they what the bankers have done left all these people upside
down in their own houses
what they've done to the water supply fracking causing earthquakes in parts of
the world that never
had earthquakes up the drinking water you know they got to send a pipeline out
of the native americans
land i mean like like we haven't done enough to those people
you know do you hear any politicians talking about that nah nobody talks about
that but god for
a bit you do a joke in a strip mall and they're all over it then that becomes
like some
big goddamn story um this is horrific and it makes me happy that i'm 49 years
of age
the fact that i think i'm gonna maybe get to live half a century without a
airline
having my fingerprints and me walking around with the goddamn microchip
you know i love that i lived 50 years before the oh jesus she's up huh um i
love that i got to live
50 years before robots showed up um it's just it's just greed and power
completely 100 out of control
and i hate like this is i'm reading this this is eyewitness abc news so these
guys are all bought
and paid for cnn's bought and paid for fox news is bought and paid for they're
all bought and paid for
because the same people i just brought brought up they advertise on their
networks so
they have to watch what they say because they don't want to lose the ad money
because that's how they get
paid right so they always have like oh geez this is a little unsettling you
know when they always
come back from it when they show some robot you've ever seen that you watch
like the local news
or they show somebody getting microchip and they always come back to the anchors
and they kind of
do that oh that's kind of uh and then they just move on to the next thing but
some old lady who
makes her own jam like that's supposed to make you feel better at the end of
the newscast
or some puppy that they thought was lost and sniffed its way back to the
station wagon
three towns away right whenever the they leave you on um no corporations are
completely out of control
they've been out of control my entire life and now it's it's reaching a level
that it's like you're
watching a bad sci-fi movie i think it's insane why why the do you need my
fingerprints as a airline who the
are you you're not the fbi you're not the government you're a airline
your fingerprints and this is the thing people will do people will do all of
this so they don't have to
stand in a line they'll let them scan their retina
they'll give them a baby just so they can be pre-checked that's all you got to
do you just
hold a little cookie out and the average mouth breathing moron but you know
something i go to
i swear to god i mean this is really cynical but you walk around and i forget
half the people
should be microchipped you should know where these idiots are i'll never forget
that guy
galloping sideways on that trump rally screaming at all these stupid liberals
going political
correctness build the wall build the wall as he's galloping like like that was
gonna make his life
better like that was what was holding him back i swear to god like i i don't
give a how dumb
you are you have to know as a white dude if you were born in the united states
of america okay
you're not gonna get a better starting block than that all right and if you can't
figure out
some sort of game i mean if you're gonna blame anybody why are you gonna look
down you gotta go up that's what's you over
democrats and republicans you over i just don't get how people don't see that
um but i'm like most people i feel like my ideas are right and no one else has
a good point
um unreal this car dealership can we get you a thumbprint it's like yeah no you
guys sell cars
you understand that you guys lie for a living other salesmen who lie for a
living turn the other way
turn the other way when they see a car salesman you're like that you're like
the bottom of the
barrel salesman i'm gonna give you my fingerprint you know why they said they
wanted my fingerprint
they go just in case somebody comes in and tries to is an imposter and pretends
that they're you and
tries to buy a car and i just looked at the guy and i was like you know what i'm
gonna take my chances on
that
the guy literally goes and this is what killed me he goes you're the first
person we've ever have
say no to that now i hope he's just being a car salesman and he was lying to me
and that was his
last ditch effort to try to convince me um but uh the other part is he's
actually telling the truth
it's just like then what happens is what what this is how they do it is most
people are dopes so they
don't think and then what happens is becomes a herd mentality and all they got
to do is get most of the
herd to start running over the cliff and you you have to do it too because if
you don't then you're just
going to be sitting there all by yourself like hey i'm not going to have a cell
phone hey i'm not going
to have this i'm not going to have that and then your life the way you're going
to lead it becomes
extremely limited and next thing you know you're half naked walking around your
backyard trying to
like trap squirrels so you can eat that day because you're not doing what
everybody else is doing and um
it's just you know what's going to be the worst is when they try to convince uh
when they try to convince people to do it right there's going to be some
politician getting it
with that smile on his face where he's like i don't want to do this but i have
to do this
i have to do this so i can go on the post president you know 70 million dollar
speaking tour where i go
out and i give speeches to the same people that put me into office like the
hero of all hero presidents
obama is about to do he just he has that has 69 million dollars worth of gigs
on the books coming up
you know i will never for the life of me understand why that guy people look
like liberals look at that
guy like he did something for him i will never get that it's like that guy had
his face in the pig
trough just like everybody else i mean i don't know i don't know what it is i
think it's because
he's sandwiched between two of the worst public speakers of all time bush and
trump you know what
i mean i think if he came after clinton where clinton wasn't the greatest but
he i don't know the
women loved him i will never get that either how much women love that big baby
huey looking goofball
um jesus bill there any presidents that you liked yeah i didn't mind the first
george bush
war hero and i liked uh i like jimmy carter