Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-3-18
Uploaded: 2018-05-03T19:34:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-3-18' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-3-18' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-03. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-3-18

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before
friday monday morning podcast and i'm checking in on you just checking in on
you
how are you oh fucking a bowl of billy is back
and he's feeling better than ever no more coughing fits no more night sweats no
more
sleeping under a mosquito net with my fucking malaria um i don't think malaria
is a funny
reference considering each year 42 percent of women on the planet suffer from
this
while the men are giving endless supplies of nyquil oh here's something i
started to talk
about the other day on one of my podcasts one of my many rambling nonsensical
whatever the fuck you
say podcast um out here in los angeles hollywood specifically there's a group
of people that
want to get the hollywood sign taken down because they live near the hollywood
sign and there's too
many fucking tourists i just don't like that has got to be one of the most
fucked up things i've ever
heard in my life like the whole city has to suffer you know well you take down
this iconic sign because
you are dumb enough to buy a house next to a tourist attraction you fucking moron
i mean why don't you just buy a house across from the fucking magic castle
whatever the fuck they call it down there at disneyland
and then get upset you know we need to shut down disneyland
there's too many people walking around with like mickey mouse ears on it's
almost like i bought a house right across from fucking disneyland
i could see if it was a new like since you bought the house
that uh you know
all of a sudden they put this new fucking thing up and you're like whoa whoa
hey
hey wait a minute
this was a quiet neighborhood when i bought the house that's why i bought the
house and all of a sudden there's all these fucking people
people that that fucking sign it's like 80 something years old right
the fucking sign is probably as old as your house i don't know what the problem
is
let me look this up here hollywood
sign
history
it used to be called hollywood land
back in the day
yeah it was hollywood land
i mean i think they actually think that the native americans put it up
if i'm not it might probably say something else
like hiawatha or some native american shit
is that actually native american shit or is that some white hollywood shit
the history of the hollywood sign
a sign born in 1923 that fucking thing has been around
and then some asshole with a house that was built in fucking 1978
that they just bought in 2016 wants the fucking thing taken down
all right nobody gives a shit about the history of the sign
all the way maybe people do
all right
the sign's almost 100 years old
it's fitting that the hollywood sign the worldwide symbol of the entertainment
industry
was conceived as an outdoor ad campaign for a suburban housing development
called hollywood land
after all despite the high profile of the film biz
real estate has always been hollywood's primary economic driver
although the signs what the fuck the no it hasn't
you needed the entertainment industry
so it could make stars so they could afford all these fucking houses
who the fuck would move out here just to live into a in a fucking house with
all of this traffic
all right although the signs appearance and purpose has evolved over the years
it's basic
its aspirational message remains the same
this is the place where magic is possible
where dreams can come true
and these fucking people that live near the sign want to take this down
huh
back then the dream was beautiful was a beautiful home and lifestyle
today the signs promise is more subtle
and can only be described as the parade of images desires and ideas conjured by
the word hollywood
i think that they're fucking looking into this a little bit too much
no hollywood you come out here because you want to fucking star in movies or
write movies or direct them
you know
then to take advantage of your position of power
act like an animal and then have the whole fucking thing come crumbling down
i mean that's that's that's what's that's what's been going on since we've been
out here
uh take down hollywood sign search
seize the hollywood sign
okay christine o'brien
has decided i guess nobody in la should get to look at that fucking awesome
sign anymore
all right there's a woman who wants to get rid of the hollywood sign
i can't blame the impulse it looks so good
attacked by tornadoes and aliens
what there's such a rash such a rush in the slow creek and the quick crunch of
the corrugated letters peel from the scaffolding
and fly off from mountain whoa the fuck wrote all this shit
the world wide fame of the sign is bolted to that image of just of its
destruction
christine o'brien though suggests taking the sign down and moving it to
universal studios on the other side of the hill
erecting the contextless h at some sort of tourist trap in the flats of hollywood
hollywood she lives in the signs original namesake
hollywood land
hollywood land
hollywood land
does that mean her house is where land used to be
this person are they really smart or is english a second language
she lives in the sign's original namesake
does that mean she lives in hollywood
a small steep disorienting neighborhood where big houses hug the streets in
front
and hang off into nothing in the back
hollywood land's nests of streets rise out from the top of beach with jesus
this fucking verbose cunt
all right the strangest thing about the hollywood sign is that everyone let a
huge real estate advertisement
slowly rot on one of the city's most prominent peaks for 55 years from when it
was planted on the hillside
by hollywood land realty company in 1923 until it was dug up and replaced in
1978
slowly accruing meaning and sentiment over the same decades
uh los angeles was earning its reputation as a place that was happy to demolish
its own brief past
dude is this the weirdest right person writing ever
it's like it just like contradicts itself i can't even read this shit
all right let's let me just go back here
hollywood sign hiking to the sign the hollywood sign
hollywood sign knocked down
here's the best way hollywood sign trail closure is long overdue
hang on a second here
i'm sorry this is just all fucking interesting to me
they got somebody with this selfie stick that's not a really that's not a good
argument for the other side
i just don't get people that fucking bought houses up there like what did you
think was going to fucking happen
and like how much money do you fucking have
and how much of a cunt are you
just move it to the other side
i actually think to be honest with you the fact that someone would want to take
that sign down
is a clear example of the of the disappearing middle class
they don't want these animals going up there these lower class people walking
around their fucking
goddamn walled off house
all right why is it long overdue it was a great hike
all right in a span of about 10 minutes
so-and-so can hike from a paved road in the hollywood hills beachwood canyon
neighborhood
to take a breathtaking view of breath uh griffith park
the city skyline and of course the hollywood sign
when i have the free time i always like to come here nobody gives a shit
but after this weekend uh she will lose her quick quick escape to urban life
starting tuesday the beachwood drive gate will be closed to public because of
court action
hikers and tourists will be directed away from the trail entrance
the soon-to-be closed trailhead is popular among angelinos as well as tourists
wanting a selfie with the world's most famous sign
some residents welcome the closure even though they along with other visitors
will no longer be
able to access the trailhead it's long overdue says jim kranz
60 stopping yeah i'm an old angry guy get out of here
like you didn't go up there and you fucking 23 skidoo with some fucking chick
back in the day
and now your fucking old legs are too old to go up the trail so everyone else
can't go
everybody get me fucking suck my dick he did that back in the fucking well that
would make him too old
the vietnam era i don't know
uh okay gate while clocking through okay i i'm always walking my dog we come up
here every night
we're going to miss our little hikes up here still while the closure is a bummer
it's worth it he said
there's a classic fucking la guy 60 years old still saying bummer would you
interview the fucking dude
i prefer to have it locked and lose all the people and all the noise and all
the sound and all of the
litter and everything else that goes along with it it's not a legal challenge
by residents but
one from the sunset ranch a horse stabler and tour company okay so it's the
horse people
that is putting an end to public access to the trail road
all right fuck it i don't know what i'm talking about i thought it was the
people with the houses
now it turns out it's a fucking rancher it's a matter all the selfie people are
spooking your horses
is that what's going on did i just waste 10 minutes talking about that fucking
sign
why bill why did you waste 10 minutes because your fucking team lost again last
night yes they did
the finesse bruins the goal-scoring bruins once again uh lost to the the
pretending to be tough
tampa bay lightning uh i've been watching the bruins for 40 years and it's been
a long time since i've
seen us get pushed around the way we're getting pushed around and i think uh
we got too many rick middletons and not enough jay millers we need uh we need
somebody i don't know
we're just letting people waltz into the fucking zone and i kind of feel like
after the first two
games in toronto toronto made an adjustment and kind of showed how to beat the
bruins and i think we
caught tampa a little flat because of their layoff and we beat them in game one
and they're basically
just doing the same fucking thing that toronto did to us which is you know we're
kind of a one-line team
right now i don't know maybe we just had a couple of games that were bad um but
it's not the tampa
scoring goals it's that they're fucking all this face washing and all this shit
that they're doing
and now they're starting to fucking act like they're this tough team and then
not i mean i could beat up
half the people on tampa that's a true story i don't fucking with you i don't
know it's just weird
i've never seen the bruins not saying it's happening a lot it's how they're
just taking a little too many
fucking liberties and um the calls haven't been going our way the last two
games so i gotta feel like
would do this game you know i don't want to sit here and bitch about the officiating
because some
nights you get the call some nights you don't and uh it's just been kind of
back-to-back i don't know
how you miss a stick hitting an eight-foot guy in the face i don't know how you
miss that and then
you turn around and call a penalty on his retaliation and uh you know i don't
know i don't know it's been
they uh but generally speaking i don't think the officiating i think i don't
know if they're
overthinking things it's just been weird not as much bad just kind of weird
officiating so maybe
who knows tonight we're due next tomorrow night maybe i guess we play we're due
to get some calls
um however i will say this the uh rebuild has been a success the fact we
already won a fucking
playoff series and we could win this one we could actually get to the eastern
conference finals this
quickly after blowing up the team so i am happy about that i just wish we would
uh we had a little
more teeth you know i mean tampa i don't look at tamp they don't have any giant
fucking goon they're
basically a bunch of goal scorers and a couple of fucking punks and uh i don't
know i don't know
what the fucking deal is i'd like to see nash use his size a little more and
fucking lay somebody out
even if you got to take a pen is that is that game gone now in hockey i mean we
had our first fight
last night it's fucking unheard of fucking 10 games in to the playoffs we had
our first fight
but you