Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-17-18
Uploaded: 2018-05-17T19:25:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-17-18' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-17-18' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-05-17. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 5-17-18

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i am just checking in on you that's it as you might
notice my voice is
a couple octaves lower i've been doing shows all this week um and i was sick
like a month ago so
i don't know that it's fucking recovered but uh i don't have my usual uh you
know mid-range voice
but this i promise you this is me anyways um i'm up here in san francisco at
the norse theater
with uh nate craig we've been having a great time all week um last night you
know it's one of those
nights just had a great show i was like i didn't want to fucking go home so we
ended up going over
to uh we're just walking around and ended up just at the fillmore so we walk
over goes go fucking go
over there have a drink or something right because billy's off the wagon again
right
i guess when i get home i'll get back on the fucking wagon i'm the worst i'm
either on or i'm off
and i'm off yeah baby sorry um by the way if you want to see arguably some of
the funniest shit on
the internet nate craig told me about kyle dunnigan's uh instagram page and i
guess joe rogan and tom
sagora those guys have all hyped it i don't i've been completely out of the
loop that guy's one of
the funniest fucking comedians i've always been a huge fan of his stuff and um
and i thought he was
so fucking original but i i his instagram page i can't even describe it how how
fucking hilarious i was
like every morning for like the last three days i've been watching all of his
videos for like an hour
just laying in bed crying laughing um his instagram is at kyle dunnigan k-y-l-e-d-u-n-n-i-g-a-n
i hope i
spelled that right and the number one and he does like that face swap thing and
he does this fucking
ridiculous impression of everybody bill maher donald trump uh caitlin jenner
all the kardashians um just everything that he does is fucking his bill maher
is ridiculous and
then he's got like all these different trumps he's got tiny trump trans trump
just trump in general
um it's fucking unbelievable um so check that out so anyways um we ended up
walking over to the uh
we ended up over at the fillmore so we go to walk in you know and there's a
band playing so of course
the security's like hey whoa whoa whoa whoa hey hey whoa whoa we're like yeah
hey we're just going in
there to get a drink and the guy goes uh you can't there's a show going on this
is a concert venue
you know i taped a special there it's kind of funny i said yeah i know i go i've
performed here
he goes oh you've performed here i've never done this i just said yeah i'm a
comedian i just want to go
and have a drink and then fortunately he recognized me i was able to pull that
fucking card i never pull
that card it was pretty cool so then i went upstairs and i just hear this
fucking woman's voice
just incredible playing the guitar incredible and i poked my head into c and
you know there was this
big tour bus and this shit but there wasn't a band on stage it was just you
know you know when the one
person's up there and they're playing to a loop and then they loop it with
something else the per you
know she was doing that shit i was like ah man i miss seeing bands i get it all
the crowd stole
the music and the labels do the cross the board deals where they even take a
piece of your merch
you know the greedy cunts so i get it so i was just like yeah so i was kind of
bummed out even though
her voice was incredible it's just like i like watching a live band because i
like when i want a
bands like improvising and i always love watching like stevie ray vaughn
because you'd see tommy
and uh chris layton will never stop looking at him because they're like all
right what's he doing is
he going to go around again or is he going to go into the verse you know when
you know when start to
come to the point where he would come out of the solo is he going to keep soloing
what is he going to
do and when you just see that then you see stevie just give him like this
little nod
as he's wailing on the guitar and then they just seamlessly in that moment know
that they're going
to this next section that's what i fucking love um so when it's just one person
up there it's you know
but you're here in a band i get you know i'm a fucking old guy i'm where's the
rest of the people
right so i walked into the other room and i was sitting there with nate you
know and i'm just
listening to this woman singing i'm like oh my god she's fucking unreal i'm
here a little amy
wine house i just she's incredible and uh had a drink or something and then i
go man that's i
swear to god that sounds like a band and then i walk back out there and now
there's a whole band
on stage and i'm like where the did that woman go was she opening like what the
was going on long
story short i find out it wasn't a woman it was a guy and his name is alan
stone and that was one of
the best voices i've ever heard in my life incredible guitar player let me see
the name
of the band um it was funny we went in there was like uh like all these
hardcore fans of this band
called andrew andrew mcmahon in the wilderness now granted this isn't like my
necessarily my style of
music that i would listen to but like how well these people sang was just it
was incredible
the piano player was cracking me up because he was dressed like kenny loggins
in like the early 80s
like if you looked at the guy you're like that guy is gonna have a major
cocaine problem
he had like the kenny loggins beard and then he had the sweater tied around his
neck
um like when i came up in the 80s anytime they were gonna have like an asshole
in a coming of age
movie in the 80s they always had the sweater tied around them you know the frat
boy or whatever but
anyways but it was a completely different vibe and afterwards all these nerdy
chicks were going out
talking going look at my face can you tell i was crying they were crying there
was definitely i don't know
what was going on but it was definitely sort of the crowd was those you know
the kids who can't throw a
ball you know and aren't good at fighting it was that group of people um
and they were into this band and this band was amazing amazing amazing but what
was hilarious
was the bartenders were all bored as because none of them were drinking
the fillmore has this really long bar that goes all the way down the left side
and these
fucking bartenders were just leaning with their backs against you know where
the cash registers
and shit were with this looks on their faces like how the fuck did i get this
shift i'm not gonna make
any fucking money tonight but anyways um if you get a chance to see them live
uh or ever get a chance
to see that alan stone i just was looking him up and he was singing with uh darryl
hall and stuff
evidently the guy's like legendary and i'm going like who's this chick well
where's the rest of the
band and i just walk in the other room so stupid but i'm glad that i was able
to uh
because i was talking with people afterwards when they were leaving i go where
was that woman
and they were laughing going that wasn't a woman that was a guy i go that was a
guy
name's alan stone god um anyways uh so i went up when i saw that there was a
whole band like i you
know i've only been to the film or a couple times and um when you're upstairs
you get you know unless
you have like the the two old guys in the muppet show seats and those things it's
very hard to see
the band but then there's this one area where it's straight on so upstairs so i
walk and there's
this woman's security sitting down i go is it okay to walk over there and she
goes that that section is
private and i wanted to be like i only asked you once you fucking cunt i don't
know if she was
yelling over the music but i was just like what the i felt like i was in like a
seven-year relationship
with her and whatever the fuck it is that i i do that bugs her i just did it
that section is private
you know i thought about you know who's that guy used to climb in to the ring
like a spider the guy
who kicked the guy and broke his leg in half um anderson silver remember that
front kick he would do
when you just didn't see it coming you know that went into my head she leaned
forward private just
give me the old right there fred you know and i would do that as an empowering
move to a woman
you know treating her as an equal like well that's what you would do to a guy
right how come women
don't want that part of equal rights it's all right you want to make what we
make then uh you you
know you got to take a mitt to the face every once in a while
by the way i've been such an on stage this week i've been having such a good
time i've said some
of the most ridiculous um i don't know that i've said i don't think ever i've
just been like
it's a total reaction to like what the all this crap out there
you know i did this interview recently i was talking to this guy i'll probably
get in trouble
for this i can't remember what the we were talking about but the guy goes yeah
but you can't say they
can't say it's like what the fuck are you yes i can you can't say why why just
people all of a sudden
won't know their jokes and then then there'll be you know what's gonna what the
fuck is gonna happen
um so anyways i've been up here all this week and um i got this thing in my
rider but if i spend more
than one night someplace they'll bring in some old drum kit or whatever and i
just play on it during the day
so uh i'm up here and i don't know the one of the guys who uh works at the
theater is a drummer and
they got me this sick fucking dw kit that sounds amazing i brought my double
pedal up and i brought
my fucking that all that music that i wrote out on that uh metallica song she's
been having like the
best fucking time ever although i'm missing my wife and my kid big time but um
this really is a an amazing
city and i had a friend of mine come out last night uh who i hadn't seen in a
while i kind of learned
some shit though i was glad that we hung out there rather than over at the
punchline because i really
like how my brain works as far as when i get depressed is when i try to go into
the past you know
like if you go into a place that you haven't been in a long time like you're
all excited and then you walk
in there and like nobody that you know you don't know anybody anymore and you're
like ah ah i'm old
the time came and it went why didn't i enjoy it more
you know so i was glad i met her over there but uh
you know she just was one of the people i don't know there should have been a
person like her in
every comedy town because she fucking her taste in comedians and how much she
gave or still gives
a shit about comedy is i think one of the major reasons why the stand-up scene
here has always
been so freaking strong so anyways let's uh let's plow ahead i went to the
giants game yesterday
the uh the baseball giants uh they had a day game fucking started at like one o'clock
and um nate was giving me all this shit because i was keeping score when i go
to baseball games i like
to keep score because if if i don't i don't know what the fuck is going on you
know there's literally 18
people you know you don't know how who's giving up hits yeah you literally make
a pitching change you
don't even hear it because there's so much fucking shit going on
you know at the giants they have this woman doing the fucking announcements and
like their voice just
it just doesn't carry like i don't know what it is like you need the base to
cut through
she's like now i'm like what the fuck did she say then i have to look at the
number and then i gotta
look it up on my phone it's like you just announced it over a pa system how the
did i not hear it
um i play drums maybe my ears are fucked up i don't know i don't know what but
um
i got a 12 cores at that fucking ballpark and uh but what's funny is when you
get the scorecard
the scorecard is a dollar and then they make you pay for the pencil now the
