Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-16-18
Uploaded: 2018-08-17T16:45:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-16-18' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-16-18' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2018-08-17. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-16-18

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you checking in to see how
your week's
going before i get started this is going to be a special podcast so i have a
couple of special
amount announcements uh steven adler is back together with adler's appetite and
they're going
to be playing at the uh the rose in pasadena on august 23rd and then he's going
to be in vegas
at the golden nugget on the 24th and on the 25th this is august all august
dates at the canyon club
in santa clarita if you want to see one of the best drummers i've ever seen in
my life
check out adler's appetite um we'll have a link and all that type of stuff go
out go check out
oh jesus i forgot to promote a couple of things all right uh number one i'm
going to be at madison
square garden november 7th for the new york comedy festival tickets are on sale
now i believe that's
a wednesday hump day everybody um and uh i didn't read the one read i had hubble
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announcement i have to make i
have a very special guest a long time waiting long time in the coming for
whatever whatever
reason we've hung out a million times we never thought to do a podcast i didn't
want to infringe
on the man's talents um please welcome mr tom roads yay what's going yay for me
what's up brother how are you brother um i'm doing good man i'm so psyched you're
on the podcast you're
one of the uh one of the best comics i've known i've known you for like i know
i've known you for
like 20 i don't know how many years yeah yeah way back in la and um i would say
i was living in new
york like 98 99 was that it i think yeah maybe that was what it was i thought i
met you in like 95
or 96 out here in la i was out here yeah maybe briefly you probably walked by
with your uh romantic
novel hair that you had back that romance novel haircut me with my red afro two
hacks passing in the
night right trying to get better and then yeah and then i i think the first
time i like officially
kind of met you and was hanging out back when we both had follic strength yes
and i was very
excited that you knew who i was uh because i had seen you at eating it of all
places which is why i
became a huge fan of your stand-up i've told you this story before but i'm
gonna tell the listeners
where you were uh you were talking about uh some sort of extracurricular
activity that you
were doing i had done mushrooms in amsterdam and vondel park yes and i just
remember you
describing the whole trip of it and i just remember you were just at one point
you were just like i was
running through the grass on my tippy toes and i was just something about that
was like you know
there's nothing with alcohol there's nothing worse than just seeing somebody
who's like completely
up but like with mushrooms there's like a oneness with the world where you
literally watch an adult
become a child or something i just thought you described it i've never taken
mushrooms but like
from what i've seen when i've seen people tripping it and i remember i was
there with with nia way back
in the day when we were still boyfriend girlfriend and we would die and
laughing and that became like
you know like one of the catchphrase for us you know we would just be walking
around the apartment
one would be in the other room we just would just yell that out running through
the grass on my tippy
toes we both would just start laughing that's the greatest compliment you could
get when like
uh a joke or a sentence from a joke becomes part of somebody's vernacular you
know oh yeah there's
been a few there's the dave chapelle dave chapelle had a bit about uh how you
know he he likes eating
chicken and he's a black dude so there's that weird sort of stereotype he's
like but but i like it
he goes but i won't eat it in public because he goes i'm afraid there'll be
some white people around
going look at him he loves it so just like the encyclopedia says wasn't that
the last line of that
bit i don't remember but i just remember to this day i know i can't eat this
day without thinking of
that line well to this day when me and nia are hanging out uh if we're eating
food and if she
goes how does it taste i go ah it's good i like it and she just go look at him
he loves it like it just
it's just there was a few of those loves it yeah now i gotta go through all of
them sarah silverman
sarah silverman said something about how she always practice uh bought condoms
or something i
think i just remember there was the punch line was because i do a lot of
fucking
and i remember nia was watching that we're in this little one bedroom apartment
and everything is in
new york little and i was shaving in the other room and i just heard the i didn't
really hear the
setup which is probably why i can't remember but i just bursted out laughing
while i was shaving so
um anyway you're part of my mount rushmore of lines that just never
it just never left my my my head i don't know why so and furthermore other you
know i would say
either you or doug stanhope have probably put the most like stand-up miles on
the odometer as far as
the places that that you've played how far you've gone um but i mean you might
have to be the king
man you were telling me that at some point in this podcast you were going to
start rattling off your
dates if actually you sat down here looking like you didn't have a care in the
world and you just
casually mentioned to me that you're off to mongolia tomorrow yeah yeah i would
be a wreck
going like oh i would am i gonna forget something i would have to check 50
times to make sure i have
my passport and i would stick it in the bag and i would zip it shut and then
look to make sure and
i would zip it shut again and then i would still have to check it before i left
the house in the car
on the way to the airport before i started talking that anxiety down because
all i need is my
um genghis khan biography to reread on the plane that's it is that how you say
it it's not gang
yeah i played in mongolia last october and it was freezing it was in the 30s so
this is a you're
the only guy i know not only has been to mongolia but now it's his return
engagement it's triumphant
return to mongolia awesome the comedians there um wonderful guys i mean and mongolians
are beautiful
man they look like the the people in avatar but without the blue and uh five of
the low five of
the local mongolian comedians met me at the airport when i arrived and they wow
they cheered when i came
out i'm like the most famous comedian that's ever played in mongolia so they
like bent over backwards
showing me uh ulan bataar and we drove out to the uh the world's largest
genghis khan statue and yeah they they taught me that it's uh it's genghis khan
not gangas
and those those white like you're not obnoxious with that that information you
could be really
cunty at a party excuse me guys i don't interrupt it's genghis khan yeah and
americans and other
people say though they call those white round tents uh yurts but they actually
call them gurs and in
mongolia so uh what's what's the uh i don't know anything about it other than
it's just sort of spoons
with northern china it's between them and russia it's between china and russia
and uh so i i liked
it so much and um i wanted to go back in summer and see it when it wasn't um
bone chilling cold so
it's kind of um uh vacation so i mean i'm gonna do a gig there but i'm gonna go
in i'm i'm gonna spend
like four days there these guys are going to take me way out into the country
we're going to sleep in a
gurr one of those round tents um shoot some arrows do some uh do some mongolian
warrior activities
and then i got a gig uh you got to tell rogan about this rogan sounds like he
would be all over
this sure he would love it i'm sure you would love it it's um you know that's
the i've shot some arrows
of my time i went i went bow fishing in uh some bayou down and somewhere
outside of new orleans
it's a great thing about being a comedian i remember i was in alaska years ago
i did a gig in ketchikan
and i met the perfect alaskan guy who took me fishing on his charter boat and
then took me skeet shooting
i always feel like when you meet those guys there's always some sort of like
raggedy plane you get in
first that lands on water or they put snowshoes on bottom of it a pontoon um so
what let's see uh
you know you're the only guy i know that's played vietnam i love vietnam you
know my my father i know
that watches like ken burns documentaries like yeah i've been there yeah i've
played there yeah i know what
it looks like now i've done all of that um i i you know well i did that special
for um comedy central
in 1995 called viva vietnam i i got to go to vietnam you've been going there i
was like the uh
years yeah i was the first comedian ever to have a development deal with comedy
central
and so i could do whatever i wanted it was like being a junior filmmaker almost
so
in 1994 bill clinton lifted the travel ban on vietnam the way like obama lifted
the travel ban on
cuba and my father fought in vietnam he flew helicopters he was shot down
everyone in his
helicopter can you can you tell that story uh yeah quickly yeah so and this is
why vietnam has always
been uh really important it's a been a big thing in our family um so my father
flew helicopters in
vietnam in 1969 he was stationed in play coup and uh he there was there was all
these soldiers
stuck on the ground they're surrounded by uh the north vietnamese uh soldiers
and they're they're
just getting slaughtered so my father had to fly in and rescue these guys how
old was he um he actually
joined my my dad was one of those knuckleheads so he was 30. his uh his buddies
in his unit called him
methuselah because he was like the oldest guy there because everybody else was
19. you know he just
thought you know he grew up on john wayne movies he thought that you know he
was one of those guys
that thought when your country needed you you know so uh they made he made i i
got the the letter from
the army uh and all his medals um after he died uh so he made three attempts to
land to save these guys and
was it took so much heavy fire he had to lift up circle around and on the
fourth attempt he he gets
down and there's like 20 guys down there still alive and it's life or death so
they all like jump on the
the helicopter and as he's pulling up you know and he's just getting rattled
with so much um fire
machine gun fire that the helicopter nosedived down and everybody died in the
helicopter except for him
and his co-pilot who was knocked unconscious he unhooks him drags 