Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-10-19
Uploaded: 2019-01-10T20:25:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-10-19' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-10-19' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-10. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-10-19

hey what's going on it's bill burn it's time for the thursday afternoon just
before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you how are you um i am in
warsaw poland
and i actually have a special guest my only friend here the only person i
really know in poland uh
mr paul verzi paul how are you how are you bill thanks for having me here um
excellent maybe i'll
do it like this i'll just sit there and i'll try to move this because i don't
have the equipment that
i need uh paul yeah um since we last spoke yeah well it's been a long time
since you've been on
the podcast but uh this week we've been to germany estonia latvia hungary in
poland yeah and uh it's
been a great time hands down budapest hands down budapest hands down budapest
last night budapest
was budapest was they were all great but budapest was so good last night i was
on stage
and i and i had that thought in my head like dude i think i'd take a special
here that was what that
felt like a hot american crowd yeah it didn't matter where you like it didn't
matter we were in hungary
they were ready it was great latvia was the best heckles latvia i enjoyed latvia
i the one the one uh
you know there was a couple times in latvia you felt alone up there but dude
estonia well 10 minutes before
i go on stage and granted i'm going obviously i'm going cold the only thing i
got is kenny going
we have a space you're really gonna love him right club soda kenny shout out to
him he brings me up
and uh 10 minutes before i go up the guy goes yeah stand-ups only been here for
eight years it got
introduced in 2010 and i was like that's a little unnerving to hear before you
go out there but like
yeah they were dressed up really nice the theater was beautiful yeah and uh you
go into something and it
was just it's like you said man those baltic states it was a little it does a
little bit something like
different they're very very smart and logical estonia was like the best looking
crowd they were like
dressed so nicely i i felt like uh i felt like out of place the theater was too
nice for what we were
saying yeah um but munich was also like budapest by the way munich and budapest
were uh
but we're for and munich was with 330 show when they were a hot crowd but all
of them have been uh
great but like those were the two cities that you didn't have to even think
that you were you were
over somewhere but like so anyways i've been on the road with burzy now for
like a week and i'm
a moody son of a so i know i'm driving them nuts but uh you know what's funny
is dude your way of
talking like i was just joking like what did you just say like volume it up
volume up yeah you said
volume it up like i was trying to figure out because the recording seemed like
you just have your own
way of speaking and i have to try to figure out what the you're talking about i'm
like this this is
coming too it's too quiet in a corner you're just going like well you know just
just volume it up
well like volume it you mean turn up the volume uh oh no no you just uh no they
did that before you
came in you did they i mean just they they what'd you say wiped it down with
windex they windexed it
down imagine if they went yeah well you know the thing is too me and my my
mother i got this from
my mother my mother always says um like turn the lights uh like we don't say
turn the lights on and off
we say uh cut the lights no not cut the lights what is it uh oh i forgot i have
another thing
and my wife goes i never heard that turn the lights up no turn the lights off
you don't even
know this your language is so crazy you don't even know what you're saying yeah
i don't say turn the
lights the way that other people do do the funniest today so we're leaving budapest
oh this is great and
we've been taking these small propeller planes and because you know that there's
short little flights
here and uh so it's one of those deals you go to the gate and then you get on a
bus and then you take
the bus out to the propeller plane and they're you know what i like about them
they don't give a
if your bag doesn't fit they're like yeah just shove it under the seat stick it
on the seat next
to you that it's not like this post 9 11. yeah you know why are you being
hostile get your bag off
the plane the way they are in the states so i get on the thing the bus verse he
got on the bus first
and i said and he had a weird looking face what's up he said dude you just
missed it this guy just
asked me to sit next to him like some total like gay like he like pat the seat
next to him like saw paul
yeah and he pat on the seat or whatever right so like i'm like really i go out
maybe it's like a
european thing or whatever but i did think it was weird because the bus was so
big and there was
all these empty it was all these seats yeah so then later verse he's looking at
the guy and he's
laughing at him going dude look at his little hat his hat doesn't fit his head
and i'm just looking
over it and i knew it wasn't jewish i knew it was something religious it turned
out it was like a
muslim it was definitely bigger than a yarmulke yes bigger than yarmulke so it
was like it was the
muslim hat right and then we finally realized i'm looking at the guy and he
looks just like verzi and i'm
going wait a minute this guy's probably muslim thought you were muslim he's in
budapest and he wanted
to hang with you and then he ends up and then what's funny he was freaking you
out and then and
your seat was like 10b and kenny goes watch he'll probably have 10a and then
the guy gets on he's
got 10a and then he goes up to you yeah are you arabic but the one thing so
bill was right but the
one thing you left out in the story is when i did get on alone when he said uh
i i you know like i'm uh
for people that don't know me i'm kind of like even you said i get a little too
nice with my small
talk like oh so it snowed here huh like the obvious dude you talking to that
kid with the sneakers that
went on forever yeah yeah so uh i could just talk to a stranger my grandfather
was like that right so
i look at this guy i smile and he smiles back overly like too much and then he
goes he said something i
didn't understand and then he padded the seat next to him and looked at me like
hey i have this seat
waiting for you and that made me like a little weird because it was all empty
right so i'm going oh
shit maybe this guy so but bill says dude he goes you he may think you're muslim
so sure enough like
he said like he said the guy comes next to me couldn't have been sweeter i go
sorry about the
bed no problem no problem and then he leans over and i'm just going and i'm
going
dude bill is right let not let him it's bad that you were right but he goes are
you uh arabic and i go
and then i go what because then he goes arabic you arabic and he like pointed
to my face and i go no
and he goes you look at her big and i go motherfucker bill was right oh that's
the best he literally
wanted me to sit with him he thought i was muslim how fucking and i didn't want
gay you thought he
was a gay guy with a little hat that's the funniest ever oh my god dude all
right i want to talk to
you because this is something that is gradually going into your act which i
think yeah is going to
make you stand out and it's going to be your voice and it is your uh your ideas
of luxury yeah your
ideas of leisure amenities amenities you're big into amenities like if there's
a mint on your pillow
when you come back you feel like yes that means something it does and and this
is why i i love working
with you not only that we're friends you got class remember in uh back to
school you know what about you
mr mellon you've got class because i rubbed off from you buzzy the guy that redid
his college dorm
remember he made the college dorm he knocked down walls no but you go you like
your five stuff you
know you're i wouldn't say you're not you're not a cunt about it but you like
you like nice
shit you know i love i love listen i stayed in a bunch of yeah super eights and
oh yeah in motel
sixes yeah but i don't i don't stay at the the ritz carlton penthouse no but i
like working with you
too because you just like you know certain things and and i like that but uh
yes so i love the little
things i love the slippers i loved it i love the chocolate no i love the i love
the the joy that you
get out of it it's just so funny i i don't know what why those little things
mean something because
those slippers dude if you got those slippers for christmas you'd be like is my
wife cheating on me
yeah these things are so cheap they're awful they never fit your feet but you
know you come in like
dude did you see the robe yeah i know oh my god i don't know why bill they had
chocolates yeah you
would think that i was raised you would think that i was raised on the streets
i don't know what i don't
know what it is but like you're sitting there we were on the airplane going
like dude you know we should
start an airline first of all like that costs like billions of dollars and he
goes we call it luxury
air and i immediately go i wouldn't fly that you're like why you wouldn't fly
it because it's just too
on the nose it's trying too hard i feel like i'd go in there and there'd be
like you know like a like
a faucet that was like gold but it wasn't real gold but it was golden color
like look at the luxury
imitation rolex yeah yeah all of that yeah yeah um so we were trying to come up
but you would fly an
airline that had 25 all first class seats leather all beds all right this is
this is what we were
talking about right when i was something like that there's a difference between
uh like classy
right gaudy there's refined and then they're showing off and there's just
certain people i don't know if
either one is right or whatever like if i look at like a ferrari right a guy my
age could drive a ferrari
and not look like an if you keep yourself in shape and you can tell like this
guy's he's in
he's into like he knows how to work on cars he worked his way up i'm not
talking about some
jerk off you know pinky ring type of thing right but like a lamborghini a lamborghini
is a young man's
car that's for like you're in your 20s you're shirtless you got like a cheetah
on like a leash
like like i i feel like the lamborghini is obnoxious where the the ferrari is
the right
like like if they were people like the lamborghini would be walking around
talking about how much
money it had where the the ferrari guy would be like chill see here's the thing
my greek side
is the classier okay my sicilian kind of goes in and is like and and we have
that battle
but yeah but both of those cars are italian they're both made by italians
though so no i know but that's
why i see i like the chain i love the gold chain it's like part of me i love it
but when you got a
gold chain you literally said that the gold chain completed yeah yeah yes you
and janice love that
janice almost cried when i said that yeah the gold chain just did something but
i can't go pinky ring
that's where i draw the line so i think that that's the greek where it's like
no you can't where my
father 100 full-blooded italian the whole thing he just goes he's he's like in
the jewish he goes he
would you go second chain i would go second chain if it complemented this the
right way so that that
that's the high water mark that chain uh yeah i mean i would go one more no no
no no but i'm saying
but the other one would would complement it you wouldn't you wouldn't then no
maybe even like a
little thinner than this around it it would complement it that's it oh okay
just an accent
an accent you'd look good in a chain no you wouldn't get a chain no i think i
had a thin
rope it would look good on you a thin one yeah but then i would start looking
like something that i'm not
which i'm not some did you ever wear a chain with a cross ever i grew up in the
80s of course i did i had
the uh but i wanted the smooth one around and my mother got me the one that's
like t