Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-21-19
Uploaded: 2019-03-22T17:54:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-21-19' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-21-19' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-03-22. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-21-19

all right are you ready all right hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's
time for the
thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm not
checking in on you
this week usually i check in on you to see how your week's going but
occasionally i'll have a
guest on at which point i'm talking to them and hopefully this fills up your
ride home uh i am
with the one and only the legend from the san francisco area from primus mr les
claypool how
are you sir uh i am well i'm fantastic you just got over you literally just
landed and you came
right over here which is you're just a uh hardest working i'm a jet setter as
they say yeah it's
like an irish setter in a jet how was your uh southwest i'm gonna guess flight
down no i took
one of the i've never done this before i took a uh it's called i think it's
called jet suite
oh that's one of those app jet things yeah i don't know i my guy out there set
it up i've never done
such a thing was there now here's a big question that everyone's gonna want to
know did you have
to go through any sort of security do you just walk on the fucker i walked on
the fucker um big
box like bugs bunnies i got there earlier than i needed to get and which was
like 45 minutes and i
sat in a little lounge and i ate some beef jerky which i have some beef jerky
if you would care for
some beef jerky uh you know what i think i'm gonna pass um i just had a bunch
of shit food that i
shouldn't ate in the in the uh in the goddamn lounge area here i should have
gone beef jerky if i could
have held out i could have had a nice protein you could have a nice jim beam uh
you know convenient
store pack of pack of jerky but uh i i hopped right on the plane it was wasn't
anything fancy it's not
like it's a fancy thing it's just a convenient you know you don't have to it
just looks like a plane
but you it looks like a fancy plane but inside it looks like a regular plane
with you know you know
sort of cramped seats and all that but it was it was cool i enjoyed the notion
of not having to
um be scrutinized by by a guy and and take my shoes off and all that right so
that all part is perfect
but do they do any sort of screening like how do they know you're cool ah i don't
i don't think they
ever i don't think they ever that was i don't think that was ever a concern
whether or not i was cool
i'm just saying like if i'm a terrorist it's not the fonzie airline no no no i'm
not i mean as far
as like i don't mean literally cool i mean as far as like the reason why we all
go through the
security so now you have this thing that's just generally if you have the cash
and you can download
a fucking app you can just get on this damn plane i'm assuming it's it's it was
my it was my virgin
run so i'm did you was there any was there any of that go any of that concern
as you got on there
did you do a quick turnaround to see if uh just trucker hats uh i did not but
there was there was
a woman that came walking in and i'm assuming she had some form of enhanced buttocks
like oh whether
it's the pants that have the padding in it or she had some sort of um surgical
acid plant yes because
it just it didn't look like it doesn't move it didn't look like reality it
doesn't move like first
of all the legs move the ass doesn't and then on top of that is the legs don't
match the ass
yeah it looked like it looked like something when you were a kid you would draw
you know
funhouse mirror it didn't it didn't look like real it didn't look like reality
i'm just gonna leave
it at that right so that was the only thing i noticed there could have been a
bomb smuggled in
that form of fashion that was the only thing i saw that seemed irregular
did you shame her no no how would i how would i shame her that's what i would
do what would you do
i'd be like you think you're fooling anybody with that fake ass could somebody
please make sure would
you really no what i would do is i would be uh i would be uh a coward about it
is i wouldn't say
anything i would snicker to myself and i would talk about on my podcast and my
stand-up okay well
there you go you've heard of the cowardly lion i'm the cowardly comedian cowardly
comedian i like it
that's exactly what i am good so i know you're a busy man and you you don't
have time to just be
flying around and just sitting down talking to some fucking middle act here who
shames people with
fake asses there is a reason you are a man on a mission here i'm a man on a
mission you have a
mission i'm just curious you are here to promote things as as most people who
are very artistically
inclined uh yeah i started asking you about your new album that you did with
sean lennon called the
monolith of fo how do i say it fo the monolith of focus that was an old album
that was our first
album that's your first one so this new lime in the limpid well that's our that
was our an ep we did
our the new album is is is is different the new album's called south of reality
i literally before
we turned it on i asked you what is your new album no you said what were your
previous albums oh did i
say that oh jesus christ all right what's it called uh it's called south of
reality south of reality
yes okay this is a nod to uh slayer they had south of heaven so you're south of
reality sort of
i didn't realize that we were nodding slayer but i do enjoy nodding slayer on
occasion um
i have to say this album um i've never had such a difficult time naming nor
coming up with the
artwork for an album as really we did is that something that in the past has
just come easy
for you yeah they usually just you know pork soda oh that's got to be an album
type you know these
things just frizzle fry they just kind of um but this one you know perhaps it's
because of the you
know both sean and i are very opinionated but we just never we never could come
up with a title that
that really set the tone or the artwork as as well it took a long time but you
haven't got the artwork
here but it's it's actually it's one of the best album covers we that i've been
a part of it's very
cool you know what you remind me when you just said your pork soda like
somebody that's got to be an
album title yes that reminds me of david tell david tell will call will text me
with like the most
brilliant joke that no one could think of other than him and it'll be like do
you have a joke like
this and it's like no dave nobody has a joke like that it's like why would you
like pork soda who
who comes up with that maybe maybe beck beck had some new pollution and stuff
like that like jeff
beck no um the other beck yeah i know the rapper um hey so is that what comedians
do they call each
other and and and say do you have a joke like if you're concerned if you're
concerned of like sometimes
uh i don't know you've ever written a song just came too simple and you're just
like did i hear this
in a fucking elevator or something it's the same thing with like that's pretty
much every primus song
every primus it's just elevator music oh look at that you got it up there on
the screen this is
the modern technology okay south of reality all right let's go through this uh
you know this is
not a visual medium here for people so what am i looking at that appears to be
some sort of insect
um does not appear to be on this planet but he definitely seems to be dealing
with some sort of
global warming issue here that looks like he's at the polar ice caps and it's
melting he's got
sneakers on i like that and he's looking into some sort of i like your
interpretation a compact
yes he's putting on taking the shine off his nose um that would be a flea it's
supposed to be a flea
okay um because we have a song called like fleas and so uh the flea made the
made the cut basically
what happened was we we were bouncing artwork off each other sean's an artist i'm
an artist we work
with a bunch of different artists and um sean did the drawings for the for the
for the first album
and um we somehow the notion came about of let's let's find um an artist to do
something like one of
those old sci-fi paperbacks from 60s and 70s oh okay and i stumbled across this
piece of art and we
couldn't find the artist and we looked and looked at and finally found this guy
and he's this japanese
fellow that sean ended up knowing about and he used to do omni magazine covers
and whatnot and and
he after my brother used to read many renditions he came up with this so there
it is now how does that
connect with the music i guess i have to listen to the album like this looks
like some old school
stuff where you just do like that kind of drug that makes you happy you know
none of that crazy
stuff that makes you think you can fly sometimes i haven't done a lot of drugs
thinking you can fly
kind of makes you happy don't you think the notion yeah the notion of flight um
oh do i get that out
of the flea this right here is why i don't go to museums because it just makes
me feel dumb i just
like there's no scoreboard there i can't tell what's going on and then i just
it just ends up
making me feel dumb i think if you listen to the record you'll get a notion as
to what some of this
stuff is like fleas is the closing song which is a song uh like flea the line
is like fleas on the
back of a dog eventually will be shaken off which is the notion that parasitic
man and eventually you
know mother nature is trying to kick us off the off the planet because we're
just screwing
everything up and so sean said we're like fleas on the back of a dog so it was
it was a the water
will rise up it was a moment where you know i had this lyric and and i read it
to him and he said oh
well we're like fleas on the back of a dog and then that became another portion
that became the
chorus oh that's cool that's where the claypool lennon lyrical cooperative
comes into play i was
thinking yesterday i was out in santa morica and i just looked at the ocean how
big it was it's just
like it's coming for us oh it's coming um would you say that you are addicted
to touring
no because every time i see you're if you're not making an album bank account
is addicted to touring
oh is that what it is i got a kid in college man you gotta you gotta keep i
gotta you know
i do not did you get in legit what was that did your kid get into school legit
or did you pull that
showbiz stuff that happened i don't know if there's a bit of a scandal down
here you know how many cocks
i had to suck to get that kid into college um well he earned it he got in legit
what we're not dealing
with chimps here he's he's i wasn't sure if you photoshopped his head onto like
uh what did you what
were you saying so uh people oh you're talking about the latest thing where
people are paying yeah you
didn't so there was yeah i mean there was some hollywood celebrities that got
in trouble they were
photoshopping their non-athletic kid's head on top of like some sort of roided
up guy and then the
football coach would be in on it being like hey here's a great new you think
like a white kid put
on some samoan kid's body torso or something the next thing you know he's the
starting linebacker
allegedly potential for the uh usc trojans see i should have done that because
you know he he's going
to an art college so there's no sports whatsoever there but just the notion
that we could we could
have applied that you could have taken almost salvador dolly weird mustaches
and the beard thing and
just photoshopped it onto his uh his face and they'd be like wow look how
creative this kid is
he's he's trying to get in on a sports scholarship to a school that has no
sports um no he's an
artist he's going to laguna college of art and design he's learning to make
video games he's been
into it since he was like 14 he was been taking courses in the summertime at
cal and stanford and
whatnot he's all about it that's his whole oh so you're out here uh you're out
here hustling
look at you being a great dad making sure his dream comes true i'm a good dad
you are there you
go one of my better i wa