Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-27-19
Uploaded: 2019-06-27T19:31:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-27-19' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-27-19' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-06-27. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-27-19

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you oh i fucking finally
figured out my new
olympus ls 100 i went back down to bnh because i'm going to be interviewing uh
i'm going to be
doing a couple episodes of uninformed with joe de rosa which is now going to be
up on uh youtube
is where we're going to be on my youtube channel and uh and i'm also going to
be interviewing uh
justin long which i think will be the monday morning podcast who does um kev
the voice of kevin murphy
on f is for family uh one of my favorite people that i've met in this business
so i'll be talking
to him so i had to figure out a way to make this whole thing work here you know
i finally had to
stop just talking into the mic so i apologize for all the fucking poor quality
of the um i apologize
to anybody that was triggered or offended by the poor audio and whatnot of the
the the the the past
podcast but now i can hear myself i got my headphones in i got the fucking mic
jack i got it in stereo
oh and i don't even need a fucking mixer anymore i am so fucking happy i really
am so anyways the
mustachioed freckled fuck is back um last night last night i went on a little
date night with my
lovely beautiful gorgeous awesome wife and um we got a little uh we got some
food right before we went out
to go see burn this with adam driver carrie russell david furr and brandon aranowitz
i hope i said his
last name right um really blown away by the acting in it and um i don't know i'll
get to that in a minute
so we go out to go we go out to go to uh the dinner before the show because
when you go out to a
broadway show you have to eat midtown first and you got to make reservations
because oh my god after
about six o'clock all the fucking animals come in from the bridges in the
tunnels so when we went to
some place you know where they serve like those you know portions that you
should be eating rather than
american portions i where where you serve me all this this fairy food for i
want a whole
fucking pig's head on my goddamn plate and put some taters on the side and some
green
shit that i ain't gonna eat give me a couple two three pops of alcohol and i'm
ready to go see a
broadway play um tapas i think is what it's called i don't know what it is it
was like a fucking wine bar
there was a bunch of gay dudes in there so you knew the food was going to be
good right um
so we're fucking in there and uh we had this great food and we're laughing we're
having a great time
and everything and we walk over to the theater and uh we ended up going to see
this um we ended
up going to see you know it's funny me sitting in that bar with all those gay
guys and i got this
fucking giant mustache and nia called she called me ready mercury
and she immediately you know almost spit her wine out after she said it
and she goes make sure you say that on the podcast because i want to see the mm
photoshop do a picture of
you uh as freddie mercury with your big dumb red mustache um and i was like
fair enough fair enough
you know so we ended up walking over the theater it was really awesome it's fun
too actually to go out
to a theater and not be the one that has to do a fucking show i was like oh
yeah i forgot this is fun
and as you see a theater i'm like oh geez i gotta do my stupid act there and um
to say that adam driver
is a tour de force in it is an understatement um everybody in the play was just
i really enjoyed the
whole thing and um and adam driver was the guy i was familiar with and i'd seen
him do other things so
actually watching him be this guy and watching him do a different walk watching
him have an accent
and his mannerisms and all of that everything was different from the last thing
that i saw him do
and ladies and gentlemen that is acting all right that is acting okay there's
so many
fucking people comedians in general that i talked to they go dude anybody can
fucking act anybody can fucking dick it dick it no anybody can go on screen and
just basically
say the shit and talk the way you already talk and make it sound believable you
can do that
that is base level that would be the stand-up equivalent to being at work and
telling a street
joke at a fucking water bubbler but to then to change the way you walk the way
you talk your mannerisms
the whole thing and to become somebody else that is acting i think you know and
they always have like
these fucking people that don't act and then they go on a movie and they do a
great job but they're
always they're playing themselves you know what i mean like when uh the chick
who was married to
fucking uh kurt cobain played a fucking out of control drug addict everybody's
like oh my god she was
amazing it was just that's what she's doing every day she's crawling around on
the floor looking for
that fucking crack rock i mean yeah she knows what she's doing she knows what
she's that's not acting
um anyway so look at my acting work
anyway so we ended up having a great time and uh we hung out a little bit
afterwards
got in late paid for it this morning when uh our little boo bear woke up
um who by the way went potty for the first time
uh which was amazing
uh
all of all of those little accomplishments are like amazing and you're so proud
of them and then
you're also sad because with each thing that they can achieve and now do on
their own they're less
connected to you you know and believe it or not like changing their diapers and
stuff you get a lot
of good you know back and forth time you know because there's so there's such
balls of energy they're
running around so when you change their diaper and they actually have to lay
down for a second
and they start talking to you you can crack some jokes and stuff it's actually
a lot of fun so i was
as proud as i was i was like ah now i'm not gonna have that little moment
anymore
it's getting to the point she's almost faster than me being a friggin old dad
but we um
we've been exploring all the new york city parks out here and uh found another
new one
that we went to and it was crazy right as we were going to get on the big
jungle gym
complex things that they have you know because the kids are out of school all
these big kids just
like fucking descended and they just take over and they don't give a fuck and
you know i don't know
it's like you it's just you and your little kid we're just gonna have this
great time and all of
a sudden this behemoth show it's like when walmart comes to town and puts all
the mom and pop stores
out of business but like the fucking kid version of it and um my kid's big she's
tall right so but
she's still a little kid and sometimes the big kids don't realize that one of
the big kids
saw that she was still wearing diapers and she was going kids just start
yelling you're not a baby
you're not a baby you're not a baby and i swear to god like i have to you know
i just have really have like i'm not good in those situations i need to learn
um adult coping mechanisms
because all i wanted to say is like no she's she is still a baby she's a
toddler she's just tall you
fucking little shit stop yelling in her face you know but like i you see like
you can't do that
so i just talked to my kid all right come on come on down the slide come on
down the slide
you know and then she goes down the slide like a little kid and then one of
those little big
fuckers starts coming right down i got a yanker out of the way like the end of
an action movie
and my first hey is always i'm always like hey hey hey and i try to calm it
down you gotta wait your
turn and then they just look at me and go who the fuck's this big asshole
yelling at me it's like i'm
not yelling at you you almost fucking slammed into my kid you know i don't know
it gets to be a bit
much so then you then you just sort of break off and then what happens is then
the toddlers go to
where the fuck they're supposed to be at but um i don't know my kid enjoys the
slides what can i tell
you but uh i don't know it's been a um
it's been a good week actually having the week off here so i'm going to take it
to another park
i'm trying to get all the quality uh you know dad kiddo time and and um
i don't know it's so i don't know you know all this shit it's hard to put into
fucking words
hard to put into words for the first time in your life like feeling needed and
i don't mean like in
a selfish way like oh good i feel good because i feel needed i feel the more
like that fear of like
this fucking kid like needs me has this need and i'm the solution jesus christ
the fuck do i live up to this so i think that that's why i start overreacting
as some
some kids it was just yelling shit but i just like i don't know it takes me
back to when i was a kid
and it's and it's i guess i can't even say the shit anymore because it's so
what's a politically
correct time you know at some point there's a way that you as a kid you got to
handle a situation like
that so that kid moves on to some other kid you know that for some reason has
been um
i don't know they got that thing i'm not saying this kid was like that but they
got this whole
fucking thing now where they think they feel like they can sit down and talk to
bullies and then
bullies are still going to stop being bullies and it's just like there are some
kids that are just
fucking assholes and uh your kid needs to learn how to handle that how to cross
that bridge and uh
you know it's no secret to what the solution is
but let's get off that subject um i had i think the best pizza i've ever had in
my life
um and i'm gonna have to go back to frank pepe's to see if this is true but i
finally got out to
defara pizza in brooklyn and um i got a regular slice and what what they used
to call a sicilian slice
where i was from but they call it a grandma slice other people do down here i
got one of
each with a fucking root beer and um yeah it was i don't know what they do with
that pizza there
was something in the dough that just added to the perfect combination of sauce
and cheese and
whenever i go to a place i always make sure um i always just get the plane
because you can hide
behind toppings and everything and um it was funny people on the movie had
mentioned you know that i go
there because i did a little run making fun of new york pizza not saying it was
bad but just saying how
much of it is bad because everybody's living off the reputation of it so they
got defensive and they
told me to go out there and it was weird right as they told me to go out there
i saw dave portnoy
el prez on uh barstool sports did a review of it and you know it's very hard to
get
into the eights with that guy and he gave it a nine four and was eating it and
he just kept going wow
wow that's that's a good slice wow he just kept saying that i was like all
right so i know that
that that's a fucking 10 but he's like the rex reed of uh pizza review remember
rex reed on the gong
show where he was like too mean to give a 10 that's kind of uh the vibe i get
from because no one's ever
gotten a 10 or maybe there would be the sadness that if you give somebody a 10
the quest is over
and you stop eating pizza i don't know what but all i know is when dave portnoy
gives something
a nine four i'm fucking going to it so i went down there and it was uh it was
amazing go down
there during the week too when there's not a bunch of long lines or any of that
shit you know just jump
on the i jumped on the train um from the upper west side i mean it took me like
maybe a half hour
totally fucking worth it and um i hope to be definitely going back there again
i gotta wait
though so i'm doing this friggin thing here so i gotta i gotta i gotta space it
out oh look who's
here nate nia come here i told him your joke what did you call me with my
mustache
uh what was your reference um i forgot he's a rock star oh ready mercury yeah
come over here come
on the podcast oh jesus ah jesus i got my uh i got my whole thing fixed he