Name: Bill Burr | Things That Should Be Illegal
Uploaded: 2020-02-05T17:36:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Things That Should Be Illegal' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr | Things That Should Be Illegal' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-05. Transcript available.

so i've been playing a lot of drums now that i don't have any vices left i mean
i do oh by the
way some fucking asshole sent me an email about that that documentary game
changers and he goes
now you got to watch the the fucking joe rogan podcast because he had those
guys on and then
the guy kind of clarifies what he meant and it's just like this should be a
fucking law against
first of all poisoning food which i don't understand in this whole fucking war
against terror
why you can give shit to cows that people then give to their kids that there's
so many
fucking hormones that that little girls are getting their periods at 10 years
of age
little girls are getting their periods 10 11 fucking years old because of the
amount of hormones that
these fucking companies have put into fucking cows that ends up in the milk
that children are drinking
okay and they get less shit for that than a fucking stand-up comedian who sends
out a fucking tweet
meanwhile they're sitting there telling me that they're fighting fucking
terrorism
where for the last 30 years i have to drink bottled water because of all this
shit corporations they
basically poisoned our own fucking water supply
isn't what doesn't wouldn't isis love to do both of those things fuck with
their food supply
and our water supply why aren't those people considered terrorists
why is it like putting fucking opioids or opiates whatever the fuck you call
them
all like pharmaceutical companies the amount of deaths that they caused
not a fucking problem not a fucking problem caitlin jenner joke raked over the
fucking coals
figure that one out it's all about the fucking money that's what it's about
right jesus christ am i this
fucking old i'm this old now that i don't i'm i have no fucking vices and i'm
talking about wrapping it up
jesus christ bill you're on the 12th hole okay oh by the way have you seen this
fucking bloomberg might
join the fucking race here i gotta tell you for the first time in a long time
that actually made me
excited about politics just as far as the matchup
a billionaire versus a billionaire you know they're claiming they're using
their own money
which is fucking hilarious because i don't think you became a billionaire
by spending hundreds of millions of dollars to go going for a job that pays
four five hundred grand a year
all right unless unless
the reason why these lunatic billionaires donald trump
and fucking michael bloomberg you said his first name
uh bloomberg
those two fucking guys
i think that they want that job because of all of their other businesses
and the fucking red tape that they can get rid of
for their businesses
business businesses
that they can get rid of
by being in that five hundred grand a year fucking job
that's my only other theory
because other than that why would you want that job
we have never ending wars we're consistently dropping bombs that fucking
innocent people end up dying
you have to make the decision do we go in here do we go in there
is that a group of terrorists and then it turns out to be a wedding or whatever
the fuck happened over there
and you gotta fucking live with that
and you're gonna age in fucking dog years
and you're gonna make five hundred grand a year and you're a fucking
billionaire
let me ask you this
okay let's all let's all play armchair fucking detectives here
what is
the motivation
all right
and don't even tell me
that you're fucking patriotic
because the way billionaires run their business has nothing to do with america
it has to do all with the fucking money
and then blaming the shareholders
well you know we do this
but the shareholders
fucking
all right