Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-20-20
Uploaded: 2020-02-21T17:18:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-20-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-20-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-02-21. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-20-20

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before
friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you just seeing how
your week's
going how you doing oh jesus that's great um i just got home another long
fucking day working
my fucking balls off working working working so i'm knocking this out wednesday
evening
i'm on my way up to fucking vancouver vancouver british columbia you know my
bruins are on a
west coast trip right now i got i caught the uh the third period of a great
game against edmonton
man edmonton's oh let me tell you i'll tell you edmonton who who they got a
tough team oh let me
tell you they're a tough team um they played great despite the fact that uh
cassian is suspended
and uh connor mcdavid is hurt so uh we were able to it took us all the way into
overtime to get two
points they got one point um they're just a fucking great i really like that
team i like that team a
lot and uh you know can you really say you beat the edmonton oilers if both
those players are out i
don't think you can you know what i mean one of the best goal scorers in the
league and i don't
think anybody kicks somebody with the skate on better than cassian so i mean i
think we got off
easy um i've never seen a guy kick another guy with a skate on it's been a
while i've seen it
accidentally happen i remember a long time ago there was a bruin i just flaked
on his fucking name
the fuck was his name i want to say he ended up finishing his career with san jose
it was this freak
play he was in the front of the net and somebody cross-checked i want to see
the randy burge of
steve casper in uh in the chest and hit him so hard that his his his feet came
up and he basically
kicked this guy i can't believe i can't remember his name fuck it was like 30
years ago kicked him
right in the fucking mouth and the guy ended up getting a gash that went like
right through his
like his mouth was closed so the scar was above his mouth through the lips and
then below it was
fucking it was like a freddy krueger slash but it was with skates the fuck was
that guy's name
dave reed i think was the guy um long time ago long time ago at the old boston
garden it's still
bugging me that i had don gavin on and i found out at the end of the podcast
that he was at the celtics
games you know from the very beginning the late 50s when there was nobody there
and it was bill russell
and bob koozie and all that so i'm definitely next time i go to boston i'm
gonna try to reach out to uh
don gavin and get him back on and just talk fucking hoop and what it was like
he was like in the boston
garden um i guess it was still already an old building but i think he was there
when it was like
when i went it was they had painted the inside like that bruins yellow kind of
thing and then uh
back in the day if you see the bobby or mother's day goal that they had it was
white the inside of it
was white so um i don't just all dumb shit like that i want to ask him all
about that did he sneak
in because that was a big thing that people knew how to sneak into that venue
and all of that shit
anyway big win for the bruins they've won 10 of the last 11 um they're just
they're they're playing
great and tonight you know like i said you know that was a hurt slash suspended
edmonton team but um
you know they pushed us around a little bit we were pushing back which is good
we got to do more
of that we got to do more of that because it seems like they let that go during
the uh during the
playoffs and um anyway i'm going to do some shows coming up and speaking of
shows one of my favorite
comics of all time and people we did a special with him all things comedy did ian
edwards he's got some
stand-up dates you really got to catch this guy man he's one of the best out
there and um he's uh
he's gone the road here what's he got coming up he's got springfield missouri
february 21st and 22nd
tampa florida march 12th and the 15th in calgary alberta march 25th and 28th
and this is why you
haven't heard of ian edwards because the not only because he is a brilliant
comedian but the man
stinks at the business he sends me this fucking thing it says upcoming dates
tampa florida there's
like three fucking comedy clubs ian where the fuck ah jesus christ let me look
it up do you know you
know i swear to god do you know how many fucking great comics i know who just
stink at the business
ian edwards uh live let's see what we get here there he is in edwards comedian
all right let's see what
happens when we click on let's see this is this is the classic classic terrible
at this business
and such a brilliant comedian all right even on his website
springfield missouri tampa let's see where is he in tampa oh there it is side
splitters
he's doing the blue room in springfield missouri february 21st he's at side
splitters
bobby jewels joined if i remember correctly in tampa florida march 12th through
the 15th
he's at the laugh shop in calgary alberta uh the march 25th through the 28th
and then he's got the comics lounge in melbourne australia on uh april 16th and
on monday april 20th
he's in sydney australia at the sydney uh comedy festival just a fucking
amazing comedian
who needs to learn how to promote himself god damn it um anyways i love that
guy
so that's it all that was a big big fucking uh uh presidential democratic
debate tonight
i didn't watch it i watched hockey instead i did watch a couple of eclipse and
i quickly saw why i
didn't want to watch it because it's just people yelling at each other i don't
know what you know
politics has always been filthy but at least they used to listen to each other
and talk a little bit
they're just fucking sitting there yelling at each other and then bloomberg
said that dumb thing that
everybody says you know communism didn't work it failed it's just like it's not
the type of government
all governments fail because people run them and people are pieces of that's
what the problem is
it's not socialism it's not capitalism it's not communism all those forms of
government would work
if everybody was honest and played by the rules but nobody does that's what
happens that's why with every
fucking country uh every fucking form of government any type of prosperity or
any of that there's a
beginning a middle and an end because eventually it fucking goes away it starts
off with a great idea
you know hey every man for himself or hey let's all work together whatever the
fuck it is
it does well for a minute and then what happens is is it the people get in
power
and then they keep getting more and more power and it gets more and more
corrupt more and more
corrupt and it either fails or people rebel against it but it is not it is not
the former
because people who are sitting there go go sitting there going communism failed
it's like capitalism
failed capitalism failed if you fucking look at it honestly if you fucking sit
there and look at
this country and you're gonna honestly say that it's fucking working i mean we're
all sitting there
not looking at the 20 trillion dollars zillion dollars in debt that we are
elephant in the room we're not
looking at the fucking fact that there's you know a private corporation prints
our money and there's
nothing behind it which is we're all just fucking driving 90 zillion miles an
hour in the left lane
trying to get to our fucking brass ring before we turn into a fucking pumpkin
that's what the
fuck is going on i think and i don't know shit but i can see that coming from a
fucking mile away um
yeah it's it's i don't know i don't know and we just keep fucking doubling down
and tripling down
on it so i as far as i my my um mike's i don't know what are you trying to say
here bill the amount of
time that i've been alive okay what has happened to like when i was a kid like
i mean i remember
like the fucking milkman could have a stay-at-home mom i mean wife right to
watch the fucking kids he
made enough fucking money and all of that i don't know what it just all fucking
went away
people had good jobs and there was like a middle class so you could just you
know you weren't broke
you weren't filthy rich but you could fucking have a house and all of that shit
now you're gonna come
in come on in because we have to talk about you becoming an art dealer here and
all of that has kind
of fucking gone away and i know that there's i guess now the way to go from
being in the middle
class to getting to the upper classes you got to become like a youtube star or
something i don't
know anyways yeah i'm in way over my head i'm talking about different forms of
government
and acting like i know what i'm talking about and what's great is this is a one
person debate so
there's nobody to shout me down here uh oh god is that the energy we're gonna
bring here
all right we got one microphone speaking of communism socialism we're gonna sit
here and share it
as opposed to capitalism where you'd have fucking uh all they have as many
microphones you could
possibly yep and they'd all look like lollipops and the fat fucks would try to
eat them um so nia
you're into art i'm not into art yes you got to speak into the mic come over
here yes that's right
that's correct so what does that mean like what what exactly so you invest in
art so when you invest in
art yes you take your money and you say hey you see that art over there i want
to give you this for
that and then you take that thing sure all right and then you stick it on your
wall you do okay and
then you wait for the person who painted it to die as far as i can tell and
then you go hey you know
that guy who just died he's never gonna scribble dibble on that piece of paper
anymore and i have one that he
fucking drew all over no you want to buy it because the guy's dead he's never
gonna draw again that means
this thing's worth something i got it uh no that i don't i don't think that
that's what you do all the
time but you invest in it yes an artist how do you invest how do you know what
is the good scribbles
well i mean ideally you'd have someone who is familiar with that world that can
help guide you
and sort of curate your tastes and find you stuff that senator hill how do you
plan to build your art
collect name who would you say the top five artists are right now oh that i don't
know i'm not that i'm
not that smart about art so so how exactly are you going to invest in this you
seem to know less
about art than i do about forms of government but you know i have someone that
that can help me do all
that so would that be a broker nia uh no and how do they make their money nia
by telling you that that
scribble dibbles worth a bunch of money yeah they take a commission off of like
so yeah so you don't know anything about art you can't even name the top people
who are
fucking who can take a bucket of paint throw it at a bed sheet million artists
out there i don't who
there's a million teams out there i mean there's a million hockey players in
the nhl i can tell you
the top players well i'm still learning so i couldn't tell you that right now
but i can tell you
what i like and what i don't like so at what point do you and say is this worth
buying do you think
this artist has you know i don't know is worth investing in what if there are
other oh yes i
absolutely do you're like the third person who's walked into the gallery today
over here trying to
clown you need to understand there's a there's a three oh snap there's a three-pronged
situation
one you get a piece of art to elevate your home one secondly two
secondly it's your personal enjoyment of the piece a piece that speaks to you
something that
looks beautiful something that resonates with you personally third yeah are you
doing bill hader doing
keith morrison yeah uh and thirdly you know we're setting up our child to have
something so if you know
god forbid you know something happens that's that's a piece so when the zombie
shows up she throws the art
at them or or she has sold it beforehand and so sh