Name: Monday Morning Podcast 3-30-20
Uploaded: 2020-03-30T22:49:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 3-30-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 3-30-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-03-30. Transcript available.

Monday Morning Podcast 3-30-20

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday, March 30th, 2020.
What's going on? How are ya?
How's it going? How you doing? How you hanging in there?
I apologize that the podcast is a little late.
No, I don't.
The fuck are you going?
Huh? What do you have to do?
Are you going to be one of these stupid cunts that's still going out and about
all the fucking time with three of your goddamn friends?
Going on a hike with three of your friends talking about how Trump is mishandling
this situation?
Listen, I understand if you got to run a couple of errands, but these fucking
people, I, you know, you know, I'm going for walks.
I walk around the block. I walked around the fucking, no, I was in the car,
right?
Yeah, I was in the car, right? Driving. I'm safe. Safe to drive. But even then,
I barely do that.
I haven't gotten gas in three fucking weeks, right?
I've been very, you know, I've been very good about this, right?
So I'm fucking serpentining this little road and I come and there's four people
just hanging out, working out right next to each other outside because they can't
go to the gym.
And I just want to be like, please tell me you all live together and you're all
fucking each other.
I don't understand.
I just don't understand why people are continuing.
There's a park, you know, in my neighborhood and you just, I don't know.
The few times I drive down the street, my thing is I try to go out like once
every three days.
You know, we just, we go for a little family drive, right?
We go on a family drive, zim, zam, zoom, come back like a half hour later, get
a little fresh air, breathe a little different air.
Is that bad? I don't know.
So anyway, we go by these fucking parks and you just see all of these people
out.
And they're sort of six feet apart, but not really.
I'm telling you, man, I'm telling you, this is like, this is why you can't get
mad at Trump on this shit.
You can only get, you can't just sit there and blame this guy and not look at
all these fucking mouth breathing morons.
I don't know.
I don't understand it.
I guess they want it to keep going.
Maybe what they could do is they could just start, the government just shoots a
pack of hikers in each city.
So these fucking assholes finally get the message.
Because the thing is, is if you don't, if you don't have symptoms at this point,
I think people think that I'm good.
And then they go out and then they expose themselves to somebody else that's
only 11 days in.
I don't know.
I haven't been watching the news, but I am fucking, um, I, I, I don't know.
As little faith as I have in humanity, I am still amazed that people, the level
of selfishness of people, you know, but I have noticed behaviors have changed
because I had to go, you know, I got to get some food.
I got to go out and get food.
So I went and everybody had fucking masks on and gloves on in this place last
week.
Nobody did.
So I think people are basically getting it.
And we were all standing six feet apart and they had a little thing on the
floor, stand here.
And we made sure we stayed away from each other.
And, uh, you know, and then even then, you know, I took stuff out of the bag
and then you got to wash your fucking, throw the shit out, wash your fucking
hands, doing everything I can.
All right.
But a freckles, all freckles here is fucking, uh, a freckles, all freckles is,
uh, asymptomatic so far.
So far, I am fine.
I'm getting a lot of emails from people that are saying that they're losing
their minds, which is so fucking funny to me.
That's just like, uh, as I understand it, the boredom or whatever, you know
what it is, is you got a lot of your freedom taken away, you know, all your
virtual reality shit, your fucking selfies and all that type of stuff.
And to like live, you know, the way they did in the 1920s with not as much, I
guess, or you still have as much stimuli at home, but you can't go out.
Just, you just need a little bit of perspective to keep yourself sane.
Cause I've gone a little stir crazy.
I go, I go for my little hike.
I try to do it at night, you know, cause there's not a lot of people around,
you know?
Um, so I just walked through my neighborhood.
I put on the headphones.
I got this fucking ACDC playlist that I've been playing along to, um, playing
drums to, by the way, by, by the way, the most underrated fucking ACDC album, I
think is for those about to rock.
Came out a year after back in black, no way, no matter what they did, people
would have bitch.
Cause back in black was just such a huge fucking album.
And Phil Rudd kind of goes back to a busier drum style that he, that he had on
some of the earlier, um, like if you listen to the original recording of
problems, problem child, his bass drum is way busier.
And then you listen to him on, if you want blood, you got it playing problem
child live.
And he's doing the meat potatoes bass drum on one and three, um, we're on the
album.
He was playing it on one and, and I think the end of two and then three, uh, uh,
uh, something like that.
I don't want to be, you guys don't fucking play drums.
You don't give a shit.
But anyway, so here's my, um, here's my, my playlist and playlist is called
Bill Rudd.
Cause I love a pun.
Is that a pun?
I don't even know.
All right.
C O D.
All right.
One of the great fucking drum tracks he's had.
Uh, and then off of that's all, that's off of for those about to rock.
Then I listened also off for those about to rock.
I put the finger on you.
That's another great one.
Then dirty deeds done dirt cheap off of the dirty deeds album.
Then what's next to the moon off power rage.
Then get it hot off highway to hell.
Girls got rhythm off highway to hell.
And if you want blood, you got it highway to hell.
So that's my like fucking after I do a little warmup or whatever, I do that.
Then I got my bass drum workout songs.
G bill.
What are those?
Uh, mass appeal gang star.
Want to be starting something.
Michael Jackson, um, which has this killer fucking opening with the snare
starts on the end of three.
I believe this is how much time I have.
And for an, and then you hit one on the high hat and you're playing 16th notes
up to the two, one.
E end of two, but the bass drum comes in on E and of one.
It's so fucking weird.
Um, trying to play that on time.
And that's just a kid.
That's a killer bass drum workout.
Then I played Michael Jackson jam, which if you really listen, there's like two
different bass drums going on there.
There's the one that's way up front in the mix.
And then the one that that's kind of, it's almost like ghost note, but on the
bass drum, the wanton song, Led Zeppelin in my time of dying, Led Zeppelin.
And then my holy grail, good times, bad times, which I can still only get two
in a row, but I've just really been working on that song this entire time.
I'm up to, uh, I played it at what?
75 or 77 BPMs.
But I can kind of do that, that, um, that 60th note triplet lick that he does.
I can do it up to like 80, sometimes 85 BPMs, but like, I just don't have
control of it.
Um, which, and what's fucking hilarious is I'm, I hope this drum talk doesn't
bore all of you guys, but what I'm finding is just like in stand up or in
anything else, trying to hit a baseball and everything.
The more relaxed you are, the more power you have, the easier it is to play and
the more control you have, which is crazy because it's, it's built up for 32
years.
I just realized today I've been trying this song was something I've been
chasing since I first started playing drums 32 years ago.
John Bonham only lived 32 years.
He got his first real drum kit at 15 and then was in the studio and recorded
good times, bad times when he was 19, barely 19.
So he got, you know, I read this during his son said this, Jason was talking
about how he got that good in four years.
And that was a whole new perspective that just took my admiration for that guy
to a whole other level.
So, um, so anyway, that's how I'm really finding that if I tense up, like, oh,
here it comes, here it comes, I, I crap out on the third one.
But if I just chill and try to get that first one, I kind of settle into the
muscle memory of it and it's been going really well.
So, uh, I'm going to get that, man.
I think by the end of April or whatever, who gives a fuck?
It's taken me 32 years.
If I get it by 32 years plus May, am I going to give a fuck?
Um, but I'm having a, uh, just a great, great fucking time.
And I, anybody who wants to just 100% improve on what it is they're doing on a
drum kit, I can't recommend Dave Elitch's online lessons, uh, enough.
Um, just everything from so much shit, sitting up straight, breathing, not
holding tension in your face, all of this shit that if you're a self-taught
person, you know, when I was growing up, there was all this big shit about not
taking lessons, man.
They're going to kill your vibe, man.
You're going to be in your head.
You're going to play like a scientist, man.
And what I can tell you is it really, it's all how you apply it.
All right.
And the way Dave teaches is he's like, Hey, just give me five minutes a day
with this thing, five minutes a day.
And then just go back to playing how you always fucking play.
You just do it five minutes every day.
Think about it a little bit when you're playing and it'll gradually work its
way in naturally into your playing.
And that's, that's the way I think that's like the best way to do it.
So then, you know, you're hyper-focused for these five minutes, but then when
you go to play, you don't have to feel like, Oh God, I took 15 fucking steps
back.
You can still sit down and wail and do all the shit wrong, at least if you're
me.
But, um, yeah, it was really an interesting thing.
And it's kind of the same way with like in standup that I found that, um, the
more I gave a shit about a gig, I mean, that's what really, that's really all
pressure is, is you all of a sudden caring too much.
I think like, this is it.
Okay.
I'm doing this.
Let's, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah.
The thing is, is you, is you have to trick yourself into not giving a fuck the
more you care in a good way.
It's a, it's a very weird, weird thing.
And, um, some people can do that naturally or more naturally than others, but
it's definitely a skill that can be learned.
Um, how to trick yourself into acting like you're just fucking doing a late
night spot at a comedy club when you're actually going on to do standup on
television or you're shooting a special, just things that you can do.
You know, you almost have to be like, if you're taping a special, you got to be
like, you know, fuck this special.
Oh, a fucking standup.
Is it special?
Everybody has a special.
It's not special.
Who gives a fuck?
Fuck these cameras.
Fuck, fuck everything.
I'm going out here.
I'm having a good time and I'm fucking around because I kind of realized after
a while of doing this, that I fuck up jokes every night, but I don't really
notice or give a shit.
And sometimes my fuck up turns into like an appendix to the bit or something
extra.
I don't know what.
And the only time I noticed if I'm fucking up bits early on was if I was doing
like a special or I was, I was taping a TV set or something like that.
Oh, fuck.
I missed that tag in all of America gives a shit.
They don't.
They don't.
So I kind of learned how to do that.
So I'm finally like applying this to, um, to playing drums and, uh, my warmup
song.
I'll give it who gives a fuck.
I mean, what else am I getting?
There's nothing going on in the fucking news other than people just staring,
watching the news, waiting for something good to happen.
And God knows they're not going to fucking tell you anything good.
So my warmup song, after I do a little fucking around on the kit, I play to
that, uh, the weekend star boy.
Um, that's a fun one.
It's also a fun one just to try different fills and shit like that and make up
shit.
Um, you guys listen to his new album yet?
Huh?
This is, this is my lates