Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday 6-4-20
Uploaded: 2020-06-05T00:37:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday 6-4-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday 6-4-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-05. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday 6-4-20

hey what's going on it's bill bird it's time for the thursday afternoon just
before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you how the hell are you
sorry i'm a little
bit late today and sorry i am speaking in a hushed voice but i'm doing that
because uh
i got it the little baby boy came this week i've become a dad again my wife
gave birth to a
beautiful baby boy and uh we couldn't be more excited um yeah so i'm not
getting a lot of sleep
but it's totally worth it and uh it's amazing when you watch your wife go
through a pregnancy
she's sitting there going like i never want to do this this is it i'm done i am
done you hear me stay
away from me i'm done and you're just sitting there going like i'm sorry i'm
sorry i did this to you
i'm sorry right and then the second you have the kid about two hours later it's
like you want to
have another one this is kind of freaking off i mean how often do you get to
see a miracle
you know you can make a miracle and have fun while you're doing it hey you know
what i'm saying fellas
um yeah so that's it i have a son and a daughter i got one of each and i feel
like the luckiest guy on
the planet right now and um you know amidst all of this crazy stuff that is
going on that i do believe
something positive is going to come out of all of this um i'm seeing a lot of
photos of uh police
officers talking to protesters and and all of that type of stuff well uh the
weirdest dude i've seen in
recent memory i don't know what the hell he's doing um yeah i don't know i'm
trying to stay away from
that i really hate doing the politics things but you know i i i'm not living a
life here
where i'm just quarantined so i i gotta go can i go with the low-hanging fruit
all right not talking
politics or anything like that here people but that is one weird son of a bitch
oh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna uh walk across the street tear gas everybody and
then i'm gonna stand
with a scowl on my face holding up a bible in front of a church
um oh my god there was so many funny memes about that
i mean that you basically could have done it to anybody i mean if i stood there
holding a bible then
you could see all the that i said with it but did you see that one where they
had him
saying i just walk up i just grab him by the pussy like they had that written
there where they would
say you know when the masses were
um anyway uh oh geez drew breeze got himself in hot water oh my god jesus
christ you know back in
the day when you just had thoughts you just said them to the people in your
house why do people feel
the fuck as i do a podcast by myself telling you everything that i'm thinking
why do people feel
the need especially when you're making that kind of money a year why in god's
name
would you go and do that you got to ask yourself why would you do that well it's
simple it's uh
it's you know it's easy ah that's not what it is i don't know what the it is
but
i do know this i found the reaction to that so hilarious like if you look at
what drew like okay
go back to kaepernick right and kaepernick takes a kneel a kneel takes a knee
during the national anthem
and says this is about people of color i'm protesting about the way they're
treated in this country the
second-class citizens and blah blah blah right and then everybody on the other
side was like hey
man don't disrespect the flag you piece of uh there's you know my uncle's in
the you know navy
seals fighting for your freedom and all this so everyone when that was going
down on the
left was just like well hey man like first of all that's not the issue the
issue is this it's not
that man and uh isn't he doesn't have free speech to like do what he wants part
of his freedom if he
can do and say what he wants right and all the people on the right who are
engaging we're all like
you fucking libtard fucking snowflake limousine liberal all that right fast
forward drew breeze
writes his whole right his take on uh you know the protesting and the uh
uh riots and all of that type of shit and then it was literally the exact
opposite all the people on
the left like you're fucking piece of shit fucking you cancel this motherfucker
and then everybody on
the right's like well hey man like he's just expressing his opinion man like
what's everybody
getting so upset for me like they literally like change roles like i remember a
long time ago i saw this
play uh true west all right i don't know when it was like the late 90s i saw
this this play true west
and it had uh philip seymour hoffman and um
and what's his face uh uh john c riley and every other performance they would
they would switch roles
and i literally that's the first thing that just reminded me of like uh how
everybody on the right
was like you know you you don't have a right to this opinion you're a piece of
i have the right
to react to what it is that he's doing and and and take whatever he's trying to
say and make what i
you know free everybody's like a catcher trying to frame every ball like it's a
strike to fit their
argument and now the left is doing the exact same thing to drew breeze all
right i didn't agree with
what the guy said but you got you're gonna cancel the guy you know he's doing
basically what everybody
does i this is my my these are just my opinions here i really believe there
there are two universes that
everybody lives in the actual universe and the one between your ears all right
and the one between your
ears is so vivid because you have all the pain all the triumph all the love all
the hate all of the
shit that's happened to you between your ears so there's no way anybody can
tell you that that that's
not reality so when people open the hole in their head and they start spewing
out words
they this they're basically saying you know where where they are in the
universe that's all it is you
don't have to agree with it but um i don't think attacking drew breeze because
you didn't like what
he said is any more healthier than attacking uh kaepernick for what he said
especially if you're trying to
go in some sort of positive direction to try to bring people together you know
um
i i just you know it's like all right i don't agree with that but i'm not going
to argue with
your your right to say it um but in no way would i ever take what the he said
and try to spin it to
my own political things you know now this is just i'm talking as a white person
here now somebody of
color obviously is going to have an immediate visceral reaction to what the
that guy said
uh which i understand that but like all the white people jumping in and that
type of
shit and just the lying that is done on social media because it was this it was
sort of a funny
meme but it was it showed a picture of everybody that was supporting what drew
breeze was saying it
was a bunch of white people and they all had like these dark sunglasses on and
i'm thinking like
there's no way everybody that agreed with them had the dark sunglasses on what
they did was they got a
bunch of them then they got a bunch that looked alike and then posted it so
they could further
solidify their point which in a way is a lie the whole thing is bizarre i don't
know what is going
on but uh i i don't get that you're going to cancel you said something i don't
like i'm going to cancel
you you know you're kneeling during the national anthem i'm going to call the
owner of the team and
say i'm not buying any more jerseys until that guy stands up shut the up bunch
of lunatics lunatics
you're an adult somebody said something you don't agree with fine okay that's
it you don't have to
politicize fucking i don't know i don't know i mean i i think you know drew
breeze it's like all
right if you don't like what the guy said i mean this initial the initial angry
reaction i get that
but then you know maybe that will lead him towards some sort of i don't know
coming towards the middle
let's get in the middle everybody huh we're all rocking the boat here let's get
in the middle
all right how about something positive here i got a bunch of people i need to
thank here first of all
my lovely wife for going through everything that she went for and just gave me
the most beautiful
baby boy i could have ever asked for and um one of the great moments in my life
uh was
seeing my daughter meet my son for the first time and i was like all nervous
because like you know
she's been the star of the show and i'm like wow is this going to be like a
a uh co-star you know situation and she's going to be like wait i'm i thought i
had all the lines
why is this person taking half my lines and it was it was the exact opposite um
when she saw him she's
like went like she took like a breath and put her little hand up to her mouth
man it was so cool
and uh she's absolutely fascinated by him and all of that which was why i feel
like i'm lucky that i
had a daughter first because the way little girls it's amazing their reaction
to babies you see like
that motherly instinct and like little boys generally speaking could give a
fuck they just look they're
like oh yeah cool and then like go and break something or whatever
so anyway um i was supposed to do a bunch of press over the next couple days
obviously i can't because
i'm going to be changing diapers and trying to sleep and doing all that type of
stuff so there's a few
people i just wanted to thank um i want to thank everybody over at universal uh
judd apatow um pete
davidson and everybody else for uh you know being understanding that i i couldn't
do do the press
thank you guys all so much and uh i was supposed to do uh richard herring's uh
lester square theater
podcast um and we're definitely going to try to reschedule that i'm trying to
reschedule as much of
this stuff that i can as we sort of just get ourselves you know solidified here
um but thank you for
all of them they were so universal everybody was so cool judd all everybody was
so cool like no no we
get it we get it don't worry don't worry but you know part of being in these
things part of having
the privilege of being in a movie is you got to help sell the hell out of it
and let people know that
it's happening so if you guys could do me a little solid the way universal judd
and everybody else did
me a solid over the next couple days if you guys on june 12th um the king of
staten island will be
streaming if you guys it's a hilarious movie i think my own biased opinion if
you guys and um
and uh pete is so amazing in it it's such a incredible story i uh if you could
watch it i
would really i would really appreciate it so there you go all right there huh
is this positive stuff
people can say things and people can get angry about them but then you know you
don't have to
fucking how do you cancel a quarterback
you know it's not like he was on uh
the fuck was that the dragons out in the fields there what the fuck was the
show uh
i can't fucking remember lord of the not lord of the rings come on everybody
was watching it had the
little evil king i wanted to watch it my wife wasn't into it it was just too
many episodes to just you
know you when there's that many fucking episodes king of game of thrones king
of thrones game of
thrones when there's that many fucking episodes and you're married and you're
sleeping in the same bed
like there has to be you got to come to the middle it's like we have to pick uh
we gotta pick a show oh by the way i saw a fucking amazing fucking goddamn show
geez i gotta clean my
mouth here and i got two kids and i could ruin here um i want to make sure i
get everybody's yeah amanda
pete uh is in this i i forget what the name of the fucking show is she plays
this woman oh does she bill
with christian slater they play this married couple it's based on a true story
uh uh dirty secrets is
what it's called dirty secrets oh geez the betty broderick story and i gotta
tell you something
amanda pete's performance in this thing is so friggin incredible and then i
actually looked up the real
woman that she's playing because i was like go