Name: Monday Morning Podcast 6-15-20
Uploaded: 2020-06-15T19:07:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 6-15-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 6-15-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-06-15. Transcript available.

Monday Morning Podcast 6-15-20

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday!
June 15th, 2020. What's going on? How are ya?
How's it going? Ah, this stupid fucking thing beeping. I don't know how to shut
it off.
You know, when I smashed my fucking cell phone between my car door
and I had sweatpants with shallow pockets. Shallow like me, right?
I fell out and I closed the door on it. So the cell phone, I keep hitting mute.
I keep hitting fucking mute! Sorry. This fucking thing.
So I had to set it up on my fucking goddamn computer and I can't get it to stop
now.
I'm literally like forced, let's see, forced quit.
Force quit messenger. Messages. Force quit.
Forcing quitting.
All right, there. So I did that. Now I'm going to turn the volume back on.
You watch this thing. It's still going to fucking beep.
Anyway, continuing, continuing.
There's a pop fly to third base. There you go, Billy Cox. About fucking time.
I'm literally watching the 1952 World Series, Brooklyn Dodgers versus the New
York Yankees,
knowing, knowing full well that the New York Yankees win.
Even if I didn't, it says World Series Game 7, Yankees win fourth straight
title,
October 7th, 1952 in the bottom of the screen.
Why would you do that, MLB Network?
You know, I had the option of not looking it up.
I mean, I knew that they were going to win it because I knew Brooklyn didn't
win until 1955.
I mean, I'm enough of a sports geek to know that the Brooklyn Dodgers were
known as the bums
because they would always fucking lose the World Series.
In fact, they lost four World Series in seven years, all to the New York Yankees,
I believe.
Well, I looked that up, didn't I?
I had that somewhere here.
Yes, they lost it.
It was a nice play at first to get Mickey Mantle.
Mickey Mantle, 20 years old at this point, just taking over for Joe D.
And they called him Mel Allen's doing the game.
And the guy comes up to the plate, batting left-handed, hits a home run.
Two innings later, comes up, hits a base hit to drive in a run.
And he called him Magnificent Mickey, the 20-year-old.
Nobody knew.
Nobody knew what this kid was going to be.
So anyway, they lost to the Yankees in 1947 in seven games.
They lost in five games in 49.
They lost in seven games in 52.
And they lost in six games in 53.
And at that point, people were like, well, they're never going to fucking beat
him.
And then in 1955, Giants won at 54, beat the Cleveland Indians.
And in 54, they beat the Yankees in seven games.
Unbelievable.
So Brooklyn got their championship.
And then, unfortunately, the Dodgers left, I think, in 57 or 58.
59, the Los Angeles Dodgers won the World Series.
And in 63 and in 65.
And all those titles would have been in Brooklyn.
That would have been so cool if they still had the three teams there.
Well, you had the Brooklyn Dodgers, the New York Giants playing in the polo
grounds.
Look at it.
It's still fucking beats.
What do I have to do?
I hit force fucking quit.
Dude, I don't know what, I'm beside myself.
I just hit force fucking quit.
I can't force quit out of messenger.
Now it doesn't even show up.
I'm taking this fucking app and I'm dragging it over to the fucking trash once
I get all my numbers back.
That's what the fuck I'm going to do.
I got most of my numbers back.
But what I'm doing is I'm putting them into my computer as I get them.
That, that, that, that, that, that's what I'm doing.
So anyway, I'm watching this game seven, 1952 World Series.
Okay.
The Red Sox have broken the curse.
You know, we won, what did we run?
We won one, two, three, four.
We won four.
Right.
Buried the curse.
We're back.
Right.
We're doing what we do every century.
We went five in the early part.
We're in four or five early.
And then we, we take it easy.
We take it easy.
You know, you know, it'd be funny because a lot of people, this wouldn't be
funny as a Red Sox fan, but I won't be, I won't be around to see it for the
rest of the century.
Although I plan on making the seventies again, I'll be 101 years old in 2070.
Um, anyway, uh, one of the major reasons they tried to say that the Red Sox
didn't win it.
They had all these fucking things.
They were cursed, all that stupid fucking shit.
And then there was the real reasons.
Okay.
The ballpark, the way the ballpark was built and how we would always try to, oh
my God, if we get a power hitter, fucking right-handed hitter, he's going to
hit 90 home runs.
Never happened.
They just fucking pitched him low and inside and he ground into a double play
every fucking time to end the inning.
And, but the major reason why was, aside from the fact we just weren't a good
organization, um, and the Yankees were a phenomenal organization, was we also
were the last team to integrate.
So what I'm thinking, what would be wild, can you imagine if that repeated
itself this century where the Red Sox won four or five before 1920, we won five
last century, this year, this century, we've won four.
Now, what if, um, robots get so lifelike and then they have rights, you know,
and they're protesting and like, you know, we should be allowed to play in
sports too.
Right.
And then everybody debating, but then the human element is gone.
I mean, a robot doesn't give a fuck about, you know, that it's game seven.
And he's just, he's a fucking robot.
And then people will be like, well, you know, we, the nerds would be like, well,
when we actually did was we, we put a, an emotion program and we run them a
little higher emotion during a game seven or whatever.
But what if like, say it goes that way and the Red Sox end up being the last
team to integrate with robots.
And then Dan Shaughnessy's great grandson ends up writing curse, curse of, uh,
I don't know, whatever the fucking curse of the Dave or something like that.
Whatever, whatever you call the fucking robot.
I'm sorry.
So anyway, it's like four to two Casey Stengel slapping his fucking arms,
flipping out how bad these, this is what I love watching is how, how similar
the game still is.
And who knew they had split screen technology back then they'd have a runner on
first.
And Mal Allen was explaining, we're going to go to the dual screen here.
And, uh, the quality, the picture is so poor.
It almost looks like the guy on first is standing next to the batter.
Like the, why is, why is that guy in the on deck circle that close?
What if he fouls one off and why isn't he holding a bat?
So what do you, what do you want for me?
People?
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to watch the news and watch that fucking overt fucking dumb cunt?
That's racist, dumb cunt.
What, what, what is the fucking wrong with that guy?
It's going to have a rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Like, you know, I don't know.
I just, you know, with, with any, with any luck, the guy just slips on a banana
peel.
You know, I don't want to wish death on anybody.
He slips on a banana peel and then it's just basically, uh, whatever his second
in command
guy is versus the, the other guy there, the boring guy, you know?
And we just kind of get past this guy because I can handle conservative.
I can handle liberal thought.
I can handle both of them to a fucking point, but you can't have a fucking, I
mean, you will,
you will, people will still vote him in like he's making it great again.
He's proud of what happened in Tulsa.
Um, you know, I mean, how much do you love your fucking money that you're, that
you're
able to fucking sleep at night fucking, you know, you know, it's literally, it's
like
watching sports.
It's like me sitting here right now, rooting against the fucking Yankees.
Who gives a shit?
They already have the title.
The flag has been flying over there for almost 68 fucking years and I'm still
rooting against
the, um, anyway, but we saw the fucking, the, the Brooklyn Dodgers, uh, had the
bases loaded
with one out and Duke Schneider, their Mickey Mantle, their, their Willie Mays
up to the plate.
And he ended up popping out to third, which reminded me of when Carl Yaskremski
and that
one game playoff popped out to Nettles on third, but they still had bases
loaded.
You know, now they needed a hit.
And then the next guy came up was Jackie Robinson and he hit a pop fly.
It's actually a famous play, I believe, cause I remember seeing footage of it
before he hit
a pop fly in the infield and Billy Martin was on second base, the great Billy
Martin, one
of the great characters, players, managers ever in the history of the game.
He got underneath it and it just, the wind caught it and started blowing it in.
And it's a famous catch where he races in, his hat flies off and he just, they
just got
it done.
They did what needed to be done to win the fucking game.
Pee-wee Reese going deep!
Fuck!
Why do I care?
That's it.
That's it.
Oh shit.
Let me listen to Mel Allen.
I love sports history though.
You want to hear the final call?
You want to hear it?
How about that?
In the final score, the New York Yankees, four runs, ten hits, four errors, the
Brooklyn
Dodgers, two runs, eight games.
Ah, four to two.
You can't believe the quality of this game.
Oh, look at this.
Now they're going right to the Pirates-Orioles in the 1960s, or early 70s.
This might be Roberto Clemente.
Yeah, I think that was the night.
That was the one that they won in the early 70s with a young Willie Stargell,
and I want
to say that that was the last game Clemente played, or did Clemente get his 3,000th
hit
last game regular season, and then unfortunately died in a plane crash.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
This is what I'm doing, people.
I'm back.
I'm back to not watching the news.
I am hardcore into just watching shit that already happened, and right today, I'm
watching
a bunch of World Series games while my beautiful baby boy sleeps, and wow, the
fucking ballparks
have changed so much, I don't even know what this is.
This is World Series.
Come on, man.
Baltimore Orioles versus the Pittsburgh Pirates.
They met twice in this decade.
Once in 79 and once in the early 70s.
I forget what, I want to say this was 71, 72, or 73.
And this looks like, oh, War Memorial Stadium in Baltimore, looking at the
uniforms.
Anyway, yeah, that's what the hell I've been doing.
I just got so into that game from 1952.
I actually started yelling at Billy Cox, the third baseman for the Brooklyn Dodgers.
He made an error.
It didn't cost him anything because they didn't score a run or anything.
And then he had another one get by him.
But what's his face?
Pee Wee Reese backed him up.
Once again, saving a run.
And then he made a great play.
Oh, this is 71, 1971.
This is going on.
All right.
I'm being a little distracted here.
I didn't know Ralph Hauck.
I forgot he played for the Yankees.
He was a coach.
He was a manager for them.
And then became a, you know, manager for the Red Sox.
And when I think, I think went back to the Yankees.
I can't remember.
But it was fun to watch.
And also just the way they shot the game.
Where you were not behind the pitcher.
It was like, they kind of shot it from where the broadcasters sat.
So you couldn't really see signs or anything like that.
I think once they started going behind the pitcher, that's when, like, you know,
you got a TV in the fucking, in the locker room.
You got some little kid looking down there, stealing signs.
I mean, all of this bullshit.
All this shit that the Astros are getting shit for.
I mean, people have been doing that for fucking ever.
They just weren't dumb enough to be, I don't know.
I still can't believe that.
I'm supposed to believe that they were banging on a fucking trash can.
That fucking loud.
How loud you'd have to bang on it for nine fucking innings.
Five, six, seven game series.
And no one could figure that out.
Well, I guess they did figure it out because they had an investigation about it.
I don't know.
What the fuck do I know?
I'll tell you what I do know.
F is for family.
Season four is streaming now.
On, um, on Netflix.
And it's fucking crushing.
And everybody's loving it.
It's, ah, it's the best seaso