Name: the Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-15-20
Uploaded: 2020-10-15T17:04:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'the Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-15-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'the Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-15-20' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-10-15. Transcript available.

the Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 10-15-20

All right. Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's Bill Byrne, and it's time for
a very special
edition of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. I'm
just checking
in on you, seeing how your week's going. We have a very special guest, one of
my nearest and dearest
and oldest friends. Oldest meaning the longest. He's still quite the looker, if
you ask me. The
one and only Steve Byrne, everybody. Yo, thanks for having me, Bill. I
appreciate it. And I just
got to get this out of the way. I got to get this out of the way. I watched
your episode of SNL.
I loved it. I thought you did great. But the one thing I really, really admired
about your monologue
is the fact that I know that you didn't get to work that monologue once in the
city of New York.
Normally, you'd see Rock or whoever's hosting come down to the cellar and work
on it Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, at least some of the time. You didn't get
any of that,
and you went up and you delivered it flawlessly. It was unbelievable.
No, I did those pop-up shows in New York.
So you had to do a few of them, right?
I, no, I was doing like three a night. I was running.
Oh, yeah. I ran it.
Okay, good. I was going to say, wow.
I ran it. I ran it. I did it.
I don't want to get anybody in trouble because not any, all the shows are
illegal.
We'll just say there was some rooftops and sidewalks.
Dude, when you did the Rick Moranis joke.
Standing behind flexi glass.
I used to play roller hockey with Rick Moranis in Central Park, and he's the
nicest guy in the world.
And when you told that joke, I laughed twice as hard because it's so damn funny,
and he's just such a good dude.
I mean, that's, you know, if anybody has a sense of humor, that's, I mean,
obviously, I'm not happy that that happened to him.
Of course.
I'll be honest with you.
I thought that that was going to be the one that people were going to be upset
about because who doesn't love Rick Moranis?
Yeah.
So, whatever.
But, I mean, that was all any, you know, crap I got for it.
It's always like eight people all tweeting at the same time.
Everybody else either didn't watch it, didn't care, or watched it, thought it
was okay, liked it, didn't like it, but is fine with it.
And then you go, oh, my God.
I just did.
Anyways, fuck me.
I want to talk about you here.
Well, I want to tell you, though, I've done, literally, this is just today.
These are all the radio stations I called since 6 a.m., 5 a.m. this morning.
I've done 22 radio stations all today, yesterday, and Monday, and I'd say half
of the radio stations I've talked to, probably 60 the last three days, they all
loved your SNL monologue.
So, I just want to let you know.
Yeah.
Well, tell them to start tweeting.
So, anyway, you have an amazing movie coming out called Opening Act, starring
Jimmy O. Yang.
I got to do, I think, a day or two on it.
And you have all these amazing, amazing people in it.
A lot of comics are in it.
Neil Brennan, who I thought was great.
I'm not going to say who they play, don't ruin anything.
Tom Segura, Whitney Cummings, Eliza Schlesinger.
I'm trying to remember all of them, but one of the guys in particular who plays
a comedian, Alex Moffitt, who I just worked with on SNL.
And as much as I loved his performance in your movie, I was even more blown
away when I met him because I didn't even recognize.
And I had just watched the movie because I was in that.
I go, oh, did you do something?
He goes, yeah, I played the middle, the feature act.
And I was like, and I said, oh, yeah.
And then I was thinking in my head like, wow, man, he looks totally different.
He sounds totally different.
And we did a few sketches together, I think one that made the air, and he
really is like different in each thing.
The mob scene one, yeah, yeah.
He's such a great actor, really great actor.
He is, he is.
There's a lot of super talented people over there.
But for those of you who don't, you know, obviously opening act, it's about
stand-up.
I'm assuming, Steve, it's loosely based on, obviously, your career as a
comedian of Asian persuasion, right?
Trying to get some stage time out there.
That's right.
Yeah, semi-autobiographical.
I think it would be, you know, when I was writing it, I was like, I want to
write a great film about stand-up.
I hadn't seen a great film just dedicated just to stand-up.
And I thought, I don't want to watch a film about a 50-year-old driving home
from Vegas.
I want to watch a film about a 20-year-old driving to Las Vegas for the first
time.
So why not experience everything for the first time with this character, from bachelorette
parties to heckling to doing morning radio for the first time?
So everything that happens in the film did actually happen to me.
The scene where Jimmy ends up underneath a trailer, scared for his life, in the
woods while a couple above him is having sex?
That happened to me.
It was a marina for me.
No way!
Yeah, and when the girl brought me home, it was from Charlie Goodnights.
Because remember Charlie Goodnights?
The club was upstairs.
You go downstairs, and that was the club where everybody partied.
So you go downstairs, it's like fish in a barrel.
And this girl, she's on the bar, Daisy Dukes cowboy hat on.
She points at me, and she goes, you, get over here.
And I was like, yes, ma'am.
And next thing I know, I'm on a highway.
I'm on an interstate.
I'm on a main road.
I'm on a side road.
I'm on a dirt road.
I'm in the fucking woods.
And I'm like, where the fuck are we?
And I'm literally in the woods.
And I go into a trailer.
She pops open two beers.
We're drinking beers.
She immediately grabs my pants and pulls them down.
I mean, we're in there for a minute.
And I'm looking at the desk, and I see all these guns and these bullets.
And I'm like, do you shoot guns?
And she goes, oh, no, that's not mine.
And then all of a sudden, I hear a truck pulling.
And she goes, oh, my God, my boyfriend's here.
I go, what?
She goes, he's a Marine.
Get out of here.
And I jumped out of the window.
And I'm in the woods.
So I can't run anywhere because I'll snap branches.
He'll go, what the hell is that?
And he'll shoot me.
So I sat under the trailer.
And I heard him talking to her about I was going to bang her and all this stuff.
And then they started having sex.
And I was just like, oh, my God.
And I didn't have a cell phone.
How long were you underneath the—you never told me this.
How long were you underneath the trailer for?
I was underneath the trailer for probably three hours.
I didn't have a cell phone because this took place in the year 2000.
And so I had to wait until they banged.
I heard them making Hot Pockets.
They ate.
They passed out.
I ran another two hours to the gas station.
And that's how I got home.
It was awful.
Awful.
At what point did you feel—I mean, you must have been scared shitless with
the guns.
Because he could have killed you.
He could have shot you as many times as you want.
No one's going to hear it out there.
No.
And then just bury you.
I mean, it's over.
Yeah, I think in some way my career is still left under that trailer.
I think that's what happened.
Wow.
You know, I'm not going to say the comic's name, but that reminds me another
time when we were in—
somewhere in Tennessee, and the comic I was working with,
a black dude left with a married white couple.
And I was just like, are you out of your fucking mind?
Are you out of your mind?
I was like, dude, don't go.
And he was just like, nah, man, it's fine.
It's fine.
And then a year later—
It ended up being fine.
It ended up being fine.
There's some pretty wild people out there.
That's what I—I mean, I'm so glad, dude.
I was just—I mean, if I didn't go to the bar and get shit-faced, I just went
back to the room.
I never got—you know, the few times I tried to stick my toe into that world,
I always met some psycho chick, and I was just like, I really don't want to be
meeting the kind of person that is going to hook up with the comic that's
coming through town.
Yeah.
So I kind of stayed out of that world.
Jesus, dude, that made me nervous when you were under the—how did you know
when you finally felt like, okay, they're asleep?
I didn't hear anything.
I didn't hear anything for like a good 20 minutes.
I'm like, I think now they're sleeping.
And it had to be like five or six in the morning.
I was scared out of my mind.
I was a young kid.
Again, I didn't have a cell phone.
You've got to make a move before the sun comes up.
It was horrifying.
And even like that radio scene in the film, that happened in Los Angeles at KLOS
on Frank, Heidi, and Frosty, and we're friends now.
But it was the second time I did radio.
And again, it's a different muscle.
You've got to know how to do radio.
And Jimmy doesn't know, and I didn't know in the film, Jimmy doesn't know.
So I'm bombing on the radio.
I start trying to do that New York cellar.
Let's set it up.
There's a scene where Jimmy's character is going in for the first time.
He does morning radio, meets like a morning zoo team.
Yeah.
And, you know, they've been doing it forever.
And you come in, they don't know who you are.
And those things can go sideways really quickly.
Sorry, so go ahead.
It went south quickly for me.
And I started trying to do the cellar shit where I'm like taking jabs at them,
but I wasn't doing a good job at it.
And they're like, who is this guy?
They called security on me while I'm on the air.
They go, security, can you?
I'm like, are you guys serious?
I thought it was a joke.
Security comes and like picks me up.
And I'm like, is this real?
And I get taken out.
I get escorted out of the building.
Yeah, is this a bit?
I remember at the time, Sebastian Maniscalco lived a block away.
So I walk over to his place.
I knock on his door.
He goes, what's wrong?
I go, turn on the radio.
We listen to them eviscerate me for 15 minutes, destroying me.
He's got no charisma.
He's got no future.
This is in Los Angeles.
How hard were you laughing?
I was crippled.
I just moved to L.A.
I'm like, oh, okay, okay.
This is the worst.
They stopped.
They cut to commercial.
Sebastian just put his coffee down and looked at me.
He goes, what the fuck did you do, guy?
So the film was really taking all those awful experiences and combining it into
90 minutes
so that people that have been to a comedy club can now experience what it's
like to be on the road
and also how difficult it is to navigate those first very few moments and
hurdles we all have to go through as young comics.
Yeah, I remember doing a radio with this.
There was some legendary guy in Cleveland.
I should have known because he was like in his 60s.
He was still doing it.
I remember he had brown hair that he had dyed it.
It sort of had an orange tint to it.
You know, the dye wasn't good in the 90s, right?
Yeah.
So I went on and he was just, he wasn't friendly.
And then he had this sidekick and he's just like, hey, he goes, hey, how's it
going?
And I tried to do the, yeah, it's going great.
Let's get the comedian up at six o'clock in the morning.
I just, I tried to do like a, I'm so tired.
But he took it as though I was shitting on his show.
And he, I think, I don't even, I was so long ago.
He just started coming at me.
And by the time I was like, oh, no, no, no, that, that was aimed at me.
Yeah.
It was, I did another one.
The shock jock guy.
I came walking in and he's got his back to me.
I'd already gone through there one time.
Yeah.
With the late, great Charlie Murphy and Donnell Rawlings when we were on the Chappelle's
gig
tour.
And I went in there and he was intimidated by Charlie and Donnell.
Right.
He's one of those white guys I felt like didn't hang around black people.
So he's like, oh my God, black people.
Be friendly to them.
And I was sitting there, you know, looking like a old howdy doody.
So he just was going at me.
So I kind of knew he was like that.
And the person's bringing me and going, yeah, he's kind of in an extra grumpy
mood.
So I came walking in and the guy 