Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-12-21
Uploaded: 2021-08-12T16:57:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-12-21' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-12-21' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-12. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-12-21

hey what's going on it's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon
just before
Friday Monday morning podcast and I'm just checking in on you just checking in
on you
seeing how your week's going how was your week going hey hey hey how's it going
hey how about
those fucking Red Sox I won 28 last night seems impressive and then you look
and they gave up
seven runs in the ninth inning we're up 20 to one they had one and three-quarter
grand slams I guess
in the ninth inning I don't know what happened but I'll tell you why the Red Sox
won I'll tell you
why because they dug deep because they didn't get down on themselves and most
importantly because I
didn't watch the game I literally feel like a jinx I've been watching them
since the last Devil Rays
series right where we got swept and I've missed they've won three games they
won one game against
Detroit they won one game against Toronto and they won last night I've watched
every other fucking game
so I think it's me getting superstitious man you get superstitious when your
team loses when your team's
winning you don't give a fuck you're walking all around the room you know what
I mean you're sticking
your head in you don't give a shit you go out and you go out get yourself a
roast beef sandwich
whatever the fuck you're doing but when they're losing you're just sitting
there watching the game
afraid to shift your weight if they're up by fucking two runs that's how I've
been so uh what a crazy game
three in the first inning two in the second inning five in the fourth four in
the fifth
fucking game's over that's that's 14 to nothing 14 to one and then they score
six runs in the eighth to be up 20 to one and then they give up seven runs in
the top of the ninth
Jesus Christ but whatever a fucking wins a win and it's against the goddamn
devil race
down there in goddamn Tampa Bay where the devil runs amok and but they won't
call their team the devil
raise they call them the raise we don't we don't want the devil in there
that's why that franchise has never won the world series
you know what I mean because their ownership
is just so trying to get people to come to the game that if if a small fraction
of people are like
we don't like devil in the name
okay we shouldn't be glorified it's the name
of a fucking fish you dumb fucks don't call here anymore I don't give a fuck if
you don't go you're not going to the game
you've never gone to a game and we're doing fine we don't need you
oh you're telling me you went to a game well what the fuck you went to a game
and it was called devil race you survived right then what's the fucking problem
fucking record the conversation fuck you goodbye
that's what they should have said
yeah they get in trouble
yeah they get some sort of stupid ass fine for telling somebody to go fuck
themselves on their phone
right
which I don't know why you should well it's just all about money because they
got to put a show on
uh what the ownership of the devil race
said to that stupid lady who never goes to games anyways
that was uh
it's not what we're about
it's not uh what we represent and it's uh
nothing that we want to be a part of we had a
long top
with uh
uh
johnny owner of the devil race
excuse me the race
i misspoke
can we edit that out
we can't this is live okay
then i'm going to apologize live
i'm sorry
to anybody watching this
that's the fucking world we live in
these fucking assholes are so afraid to have one nickel
roll out the door
they got to literally change the name
of their team
that's named after a fucking stingray
stingray
those both sound violent
can we just call them like the razors
you know like you shave your face with
well some people slit their wrists with razors
that's a great point
can we call them the tampa bay
puffers
um
anyway very excited and that they they they won
and uh
i guess what i will i won't watch them and then i'll just watch the replay
um
but i've been having the best week i'm back here in boston
and um
staying out on the water man
it's just been fucking great
and uh
you know this is where i'm from
i need to come back here more often
i can tell you that
fucking spend like a month out here
maybe not a month
i'm gonna be afraid if i spent a month out here i'd move back
be like you know what
eh you know fuck it
i'll just do some local shows here
i'll fucking
call up dick doherty
get it going again
um
but last night we did the uh
the memorial slash
stand-up comedy
comics reunion
uh
for the late great wayne previty
and uh
i cannot tell you how fucking nervous i was for this night
i invited a bunch of comics
that we all started out at the same time wayne did back in like 1992
and a lot of us had not seen each other in a long
long time
and certainly we had not all been together in the same room
so uh
i didn't know if it was going to be awkward
if it was going to be weird
if it was going to be sad
like wow we're all old
you know
i didn't know what it was going to be like
and um
it was
it was fucking magical man
it was everything that i wanted to happen
like
the comics didn't even get to their dressing rooms
it was just everyone was standing out in the hall
telling stories
laughing
hugging
giving each other shit
another thousand stories
talking about wayne
it was just
um
it was absolutely fucking
perfect
and um
the lineup on the show
was basically
you know
it was essentially an open mic show
that was booked 30 years ago
that we
you know
had john david host
and john david was always
you know
he ran the uh
the 99 in belrica
and um
just a crazy crazy dude
like
i thought he was the coolest guy
when i met him
because
he told me
he goes
i've never had a real job
i go
what do you mean
i go
he goes
these have been my jobs
he was a professional roller skater
if you can believe that
in the late 70s
and roller skating was huge
he had like a sponsor
and all of that
until he did some sort of triple lindy thing
and he blew out his elbow
then he was a drummer
in a band
and then he was a stand-up comedian
i mean that's about his
fucking
that's a dynasty
of
of not
having to go to work
or feeling like you're at work
um
then we had jack lynch
now jack lynch
hosted
the first time
old freckles here
ever bombed
on stage
it was his place
kelly's pub
in north redding
massachusetts
and it was in uh
either the end of march
or the beginning of april
in 1992
it was my third show
i started march 2nd
at nick's comedy stop
and then i did one
in stitches
a few weeks later
and then i did my first
satellite room
a bar
and i went in there
and oh my god
it was the first time
i told a joke
and it got nothing
and i felt that
fucking
concussive
emotional
force to my chest
and oh dude
i imploded
i was supposed
to do five minutes
i bailed
after like two
i don't even know
what i did
i literally said
on the microphone
i said
hey jack
i'm bailing
and i was so embarrassed
i wanted to leave
but i just sat down
in the first
seat available
which was right up
near the stage
because
i i couldn't face
the comedians
because when i said
i was bailing
i heard the comedians
be like
oh come on man
like you know
which was a great thing
they were trying
to encourage me
but all i heard
was disappointment
and i just sat there
like a scolded child
to the end of the show
and um
i remember you know
and that was the first night
i ever met
wayne previty
he came in and closed
he had his track suit on
he had one of his friends
said this is my manager
you got to talk to him
you know
he's sort of like a
dice clay like vibe
uh
and then we had
todd parker
who was on the show
um
todd parker
was the first time
i ever did stand up
was at nicks
like i said
and it was a comedy
competition
and they had some
of the local comics
judge
uh
the comics
to see who was the best
and uh
he was one of the judges
and uh
so i've known that guy
basically since day one
of doing stand up
joey carroll
um
part of my graduation class
uh
used to be obsessed
with death
his whole act
was talking about
death
uh
dane cook
you guys might have
heard
he was the special
guest
he came up
and ripped it
everybody killed
by the way
which was awesome
uh
and dan smith
like i think my first
open mic
my second show
i met him
um
along with tony
moschetto
uh
at stitch's
comedy club
and then i uh
went on and mopped up
in the end
and everybody had a
great set
everybody fucking
killed
um
and todd parker
put together this
great
video
of wayne with all
of these pictures
my wife went out
and watched it
i had already seen it
i didn't want to get
all emotional
before i went out
there and be all
the fucking sad clown
so um
there was a clip
of me in it
you know
at an angels game
this infamous angels
game that we all
went to
um
and uh
i had no beard
and a full head of hair
and people were
watching it
having no idea
who i was
and my wife said
it took them a second
then they were like
oh shit
that's bill with hair
um
so uh
dave mclaughlin
nick costas
a bunch of comics
came out that
you know
we just didn't even
have time to put
them up
jimmy q
um
it was just uh
it was just
literally like
the perfect
then it was a guy
spike tobin
who came out
he was in the crowd
and we were actually
talking i was like
man i forgot to
invite spike
you know
it was so many guys
you know
that i reached out
to and
that were uh
you know
either not available
or uh
you know
i don't know what
it's just too far
away
bob sheehee
gotta make sure
i remember
everybody's name
uh
bob carney
uh
and then mike
prior couldn't
make it you
motherfucker
next on the next
one but we
had just had
the best time
magical fucking
night so i
want to thank
everybody involved
my clock
came out from
giggles
i mean
and then afterwards
downstairs
at the wilbur
there's a club
downstairs
and uh
i ordered
uh
a bunch
of chinese
food from
the golden
temple
in brighton
uh
recommendation
from a friend
of mine
and everybody
said the fucking
chinese food
was great
and we just
sat there
just like
just chowing
this shit
especially the
guys who don't
live in uh
massachusetts
anymore
we had spare
ribs
crab ragu
it was fucking
awesome
so i gotta go
on a nice
old man walk
along the
beach
which is what
i've been doing
and i'm really
getting taken by
the ocean now
man
i think i'm
actually gonna go
swimming in it
i've just seen
too many old
guys
i mean i'm
talking old
like 20 years
older than me
hey you know
you're old when
you're 20 years
older than me
and uh
they got a
little fucking
paddle thing
kayak that i
said i wasn't
gonna use
and now i'm
like you know
a fucking
nice upper
body workout
i'll slather
on you see
the sunblock
i use i
literally look
like i have
pancake batter
on me
like i'm
gonna do
a kabuki
fucking show
or something
um
so anyway
it was just
a fucking
awesome night
and uh
i really want
to thank
everybody
once again
that was
involved in
that
and uh
it's been
a long time
coming
way and
passed away
unfortunately
a little over
a year ago
because of
this fucking
covid bullshit
trying to do
the show
was difficult
so um
i was very
happy uh
to do that
so
that's it
other than that
i've been
taking old
man walks
along the
beach
um
like a uh
i don't know
i looked up
like how long
it takes
to walk
10,000 steps
because what
am i going to
sit there
and count
them
they said
it was
about five
miles
and you can
do it in
about an
hour
if you're
fucking
i was like
dude i can't
walk five
miles in an
hour
i'm not doing
that shit
so how
about i walk
for like an
hour and 15
minutes all
right i know
if i walk
sort of
briskly
you know
i can walk
a mile in
15 minutes
you know
what i mean
what's that
4.0
on the uh
on the
treadmill
so i've just
been doing
that
you know
keeping the
weight off
haven't really
put anything
on
while i've
been out
here and
uh just
been having
a blast
with the
kids and
everything
they're
loving the
beach
going down
there
yesterday
one of
my daughter's
cousins taught
her how to
skim a rock
and she came
in she's like
hey dad i want
to go to the
beach tomorrow
and throw
rocks i'm
like oh my
god this is
like freaking
perfect we
went to uh
uh went to
some on