Name: the Monday Morning Podcast 9-20-21
Uploaded: 2021-09-20T22:07:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'the Monday Morning Podcast 9-20-21' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'the Monday Morning Podcast 9-20-21' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-20. Transcript available.

the Monday Morning Podcast 9-20-21

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning
Podcast for Monday,
September 20th, 2021. What's going on? How are you? How's it going? How are you?
Are
you doing all right? That's fucking fantastic. Oh, Billy fucking old face is
off the goddamn
road. I'll tell you, it was an amazing run of dates. I want to thank everybody
that came
out. God damn it. Since I last ran my yap on this podcast, who, you know, you
know, one
thing I really liked is fascinating to me now are people that are doing
documentaries on
themselves. You know what I mean? This is a documentary on me. Oh yeah. Oh, who
came up
with the idea to do that? Uh, I did. I've always found myself such an
interesting subject.
Is that really, is it really a documentary when you're the money, you're the
subject and you're
the money, but like when Hillary Clinton did one on herself, let's look this up
here. I want
to look this shit up. This fascinates me. People who do documentaries on
themselves. Let's see
what we get here. Let's see what the list is here. That's just a bunch of nobodies
here.
No wonder they're doing a documentary. They need people to know who the fuck
they are. Wait
a minute. Let's see if I type in Hillary. I mean, you know that like that came,
she's a
politician, you know, Michael Jordan did it. Although I liked his only because
everybody
was telling his story, all the fucking, but her people in the sports press,
like it wasn't,
it wasn't critical enough. It's like you guys tore him a new asshole his whole
fucking career.
You always had something to talk about after you built them up. Right. Um, I
guess if you're
Jordan, it's okay if you do it, you know, why is it okay for Jordan to do it
and not Hillary?
Is that cause she's a woman? No, cause she stinks. That's the difference. She's
not the greatest
politician of all time. She does not have six rings. Okay.
She was married to somebody who won two rings, two terms. Oh, Billy fresh hands
there. Bill Clinton,
right? She was married. Oh, Billy grab ass there. She was married to him. He
had two terms. Right.
And then she got, you know, she immediately became a Senator, which was fucking
hilarious.
You know, she kind of just got that job cause of like the last name being
Clinton, right?
You're part of a legacy. That's like when somebody goes to Yale and then they
got a son who's a
fucking dope, but he also gets into Yale. Right. I'm the decider and he gets to
go to Yale.
Right. But like if, if he had to do it on his own fucking merits, you know what
I mean?
There is something to be said about that. You know, it's like recently I was
just signed
by Coppertone. You can't believe that. Like I had, I had no ends at that
company. No, that would
never happen. Do they even advertise that shit anymore? Does anybody really
want to get a tan
the old fashioned way out in the sun or did people do it the other way? I don't
know. I have no idea,
but I do find it funny. You know, when people want to do a documentary on
themselves, I also love a
documentary. You know, someone do a documentary on themselves and they're in
their thirties.
Oh, they'll write their life story in their thirties. I have an autobiography
coming out. You're
fucking 36. Do you have a terminal disease? Like, what are you doing here? You
wrapping it up?
You're wrapping it up. I like Keith Richards. Keith Richards waited.
He waited until he was well into his fucking seventies and just wrote a book
called life.
And it was like, I don't know, it was like 600 fucking pages. And the one story
that I remember
the most was that they, in like the mid sixties, they went out and they bought
a Chevy Impala,
which is one of the best looking cars of all time. And I love those mid sixties.
Speaking of which
I saw a 65 Chevy Impala station wagon with Crager rims. And like the whole
fucking car was just all
patina. It just was all beat up looking, but it was, it was just such like a, I
haven't seen one of
those since I was a kid. I mean, those things were going away when I was a kid.
Cause I was a 65 by the
time I was like four or five years old, that car would have been eight years
old, eight years of like
kids and family trips and shit. Um, and it was a station wagon. So most of them
ended up in the junk
pile. So, um, yeah, I saw one of those the other day, fucking, I don't remember
what the fuck was I
taught. I was talking about people getting their own documentaries. How the
fuck did I end up talking
about a 65 Chevy Impala station wagon? Oh, the rolling stones. I know when you
guys hate when I do
that, I lose my train of thought. And then you're like, what happened with the
fucking story? Why should
literally, I should have like a special email for people. You know, when I
started a story that you
actually gave a shit about, I didn't finish it. Um, so the stones bought this
Impala.
I always pictured it being white. I don't know why. And they took off like the
door panel and they
hid their drugs behind it. Cause what cop would ever look there? Right. And, uh,
I don't know. They
drove this thing all around. They got all high and all fucked up or whatever.
And somehow they
lost the car or they turned it in or they sold it. I don't know what happened,
but he goes somewhere
out there. If a car still exists, there's a 65 or 66 Chevy Impala with my drugs
behind the fucking,
uh, the door panel. So that was just one of his fucking stories, you know, and
had he written an
autobiography when, well, I guess you'd get that one. You get that story. When
we get all the other
shit on the other side of heroin, the other other side of all of this stuff,
um, so anyway, I'm off the road, I'm not doing shit. And, uh, you know, before
I go back out again,
I'm kind of back to my regulatory schedule, which is every other week. But, um,
I want to thank
everybody that came out to Red Rocks. That show could not have gone any better.
And I filmed it.
I don't know what I'm going to do with it, but I have it. Um, and it's looking
like it's a smart move
to have done that, you know, because the set went so well and who knows, you
know, we just keep
walking around, you know, during all of this shit, whether you believe in the
pandemic or not,
what do you think there's a virus or it isn't, whether you think it was made by
nature or if
it was made by the government, whatever it is, it's the new reality that we're
in. And, um,
so who knows, does, does the whole thing open up next year? Does the whole
thing shut down? If it
does shut down, you know, I'll just fucking put it out as a special or
something, you know,
maybe, I don't know. But now I have the thing actually, you know, when I first
did it, I was
just going to kind of shoot it, like just to document it. And then just the
budget and everything
just ballooned into an, like a real special. And I was like, well, fuck it. I'll
just have one,
you know, I can use it or not use it. I just got this fucking thing. And now it
went so well. I was so
fucking psyched and my vibe on stage was great. And I really think part of it
was because I watched
all these Norm Macdonald videos and I just thought he had such a, uh,
I don't know, like he, there was something about his vibe that was Zen. His
comedy was like,
it wasn't about the result. It was just about what he thought was funny.
And I thought as much as he said all this crazy stuff, I didn't find him to be
mean really. Um,
so I don't know. I was thinking about that and, uh, I don't know when there was
1.2,
I don't know. I'm not gonna tell you all the stuff I was thinking about, but I
was kind of
just in a really good place. And we shot this thing and I am, you know,
thrilled that we got it. And, uh,
I still cannot believe I got to do stand up there and how great it was.
And everybody was just on board laughing. We were having a great time. And then
in the end,
when everybody left, a couple of buddies of mine that I didn't know were going
to be there surprised
me. And we all went out on stage and, uh, smoked cigars. Literally until the
raccoons came out of
the woods and started fucking walking around on the seats, trying to find
something to eat,
which I took a video of and put it on my, uh, my Instagram. Um, but it was
amazing. It was one of
those deals where I got off stage and I was just like, that was, you know, I
got all of that one.
He got all of that one. So thank you for everybody for being a part of that.
And then Kansas City,
the night before played this amphitheater. And it was just like the coolest,
most well-behaved
crowd. People were buzzed, but they weren't like wasted, you know, people are
having a good time,
but, um, just to, as I was joking with Bartnick going, that might've been the
best Wednesday and
Thursday I've ever had in my life. So, yeah. So in the end we were all just
sitting around
telling store, showbiz stories and sports stories and all that. It was a great
mix of people and just sat
on that iconic stage, smoking a cigar. And, um, I, I got a crazy story about
that. I remember
about Red Rocks was a long, long time ago. And I looked up the show too. I
forget what year it was,
but I looked it up cause they had a list of everybody. And I saw footage of
Stevie Ray Vaughn
being there. If like a fan shouting to him and him saying, what's up when he
was sort of backstage.
And I looked and Stevie played there in double trouble, played first in 86. And
then they came
back in 87, 88 and 89. And unfortunately he died in 90. So he went, he went
there every single year
after he played it. And I can't imagine his music, enjoying his music. That
just seems like a perfect
marriage like Riviera paradise being played with the lights on those rocks. So
anyway, I was
a nobody and I was working, uh, the comedy works. I was post, um, Chappelle
show tour with the late,
great Charlie Murphy and Donald Rawlings. I think I had just done, put out, why
do I do this? And I was
just starting to get headlining work selling a couple of shows and the others
were a little
light doing morning radio and all that. That's where I was at. So staying at
this hotel
and, um, finally, you know, it was a, you know, nice period in my life where I
had gotten to the
level of, uh, working in a club, like, you know, the comedy works in Denver.
All right. And actually
finally staying at like a nicer hotel. Um,
yeah, you know, I might've been almost ready to do my second special. Cause if
I was staying at that
nice hotel, um, I don't think what happened would have happened. So basically I,
um,
was at the hotel and I had the shows that night and, um, I went down to the
hotel gym.
Oh, Billy balliptical. Right. And I go to get on the gym, going, I go to, you
know,
go to the gym, go to get on the elliptical and I'm on the elliptical and I'm
listening to my music
and everything. And as I'm on it, MCA from the beastie boys came walking in
and he looked at me, I looked at him and he knew I knew who he was and I didn't
say anything to him.
That's how I always look at those people like that. It's like my gift to you
for everything that
you've given me in your work is I'm not going to bug you. I just want to say, I
wasn't going to do that.
So I did my thing. I didn't say one word to him. And, uh, I was like halfway
done with my workout
and I just wrapped it up. You know, I finished up and I left. I was like, holy
shit, that was
fucking MCA, you know, like I can't, the beastie boys must be in town. And, uh,
and then like a day later or something like that, or the next morning I went
downstairs to have
breakfast and, uh, ad rock was downstairs getting breakfast too. And I ended up
talking to him
because we both knew Neil Brennan. I think that was how that thing came about.
And he was gone. You're doing standup. I said, yeah. He goes, oh yeah. He goes,
you're doing your little skittles. You're doing your little skittles over at
the comedy club. He's like,
giving me shit, joking around. I was laughing. I was like, what are you guys
playing? And he said,
we'