Name: Monday Morning Podcast 12-20-21 w. JIM GAFFIGAN (Part 1)
Uploaded: 2021-12-20T17:18:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 12-20-21 w. JIM GAFFIGAN (Part 1)' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Monday Morning Podcast 12-20-21 w. JIM GAFFIGAN (Part 1)' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-20. Transcript available.

Monday Morning Podcast 12-20-21 w. JIM GAFFIGAN (Part 1)

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. I'm out here on the road. And this week's
Monday
Morning Podcast, I actually recorded a few weeks ago with the great Jim Gaffigan.
And
we were only supposed to do a half hour. It was supposed to be a Thursday
afternoon, just
before Friday, Monday Morning Podcast. And I don't know what happened. We
started talking.
We talked comedy. We talked life. And then somewhere about halfway through it,
we just
started shitting on each other and had a great time just trashing each other.
And somehow
it ended up being like an hour and a half long. So guess what? It's now a
fucking two-parter.
Sorry, I did five shows and I'm getting over a cold. No, I don't have COVID.
And yes, I think
the world is round. All right? Or is this the fucking robot deep state version
of me? You
don't know, do you? So anyway, this is going to be the first half is going to
be on Monday.
This is the Monday Morning Podcast that you're about ready to watch. And then
we got the
Thursday afternoon, which will be the second half. Or maybe it's just audio. I
don't know.
We did it at ATC. I have no fucking idea what's happening. But he told me to
record a video,
so it must be video. All right. That's it. Oh, for all you cold fans,
congratulations.
All right. You had a hell of a first half. We gave you a fucking field goal.
But you know,
Mac Jones, he threw two. Does the guy implode? No, he comes right back and he
scares the shit out of
you. All of a sudden it's 20 to 17. You're like, oh my God, do we need to go
weigh their cleats?
Is this why they're coming back? So I love that we got humbled. And I think,
you know,
that's I'd rather lose in December than in January. Because we all know what
losing in January is like,
don't you, Indianapolis? Especially to the Chargers at home. Sorry. All right.
That's it,
everybody. Go fuck yourselves. Merry Christmas. Happy Kwanzaa. And also Hanukkah
and Flat Earth.
Hey, what's going on, everybody? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday
Morning Podcast. And
every once in a while, I have a special guest on here. And this is one of these
days. This is a
gentleman from the Midwest, from a red state. Yes. Then I'm going to reach
across my blue state,
be in Massachusetts. You are Kentucky? I know. Indiana. You know what's so
funny? It's like
Massachusetts. Jim Gaffigan, everybody. How are you? This is the whitest
podcast ever. This is like,
I mean, we might, we should be shooting this in Charlottesville. This is like,
this is like a
meeting of the three percenters would have the exact same podcast as this. Not
that I know. I actually
think white supremacists would maybe leave their group if they watched like-
Yeah, they'd be like,
not that white. Yeah, not that white. They're like, we, we, you know. Yeah.
Every once in a while,
we like to listen to the Jackson 5. Some of the- Before we kill somebody. I
mean, by the way,
this lighting, I, I, I'm not a vain man, but this lighting's pretty, I don't, I'm
not even this white.
Yeah. Or maybe I am. We decided we were going to enhance it with some overhead
light,
less track lighting. Yeah. For the pigmentless. Yeah. What is, what is your
nationality background?
How, how far into Northern Europe are you? I, it's the North Pole. No. I'm, I'm
all Irish.
What are you? Oh, you are? And, uh, yeah, 99 point whatever Irish and English.
I never did the 23 and meek,
just in case- You're related to Aaron Burr. I'm not. I mean, I have the same
last name,
but I'm not, unfortunately. You, have you done it? No, but I'm worried that
there's a serial killer
in my family and I just don't want to deal with that. There, I had an, uh, I
had a relative that was
on trial for murder. Oh yeah. I mean, yeah, you go far enough back. Yeah. You're
going to find one.
Either someone went on trial or they did something. So, so wait a minute. So-
Just never got caught. You don't, I've never, so like-
I'm German-Irish. You're German-Irish. Yeah. So like, yeah, that's what, you
know,
like when you introduced me, you know, Indiana, Red State, I'm like, when I
started touring,
I was shocked at how, when I would go around and do Boston radio, how they all
were like on,
they were big W fans. And I'm like, isn't Massachusetts supposed to be liberal?
They were like-
Massachusetts is the weirdest liberals. They're liberal in that. I think that
they, you know,
union, fucking state job, blah, blah, blah. But everyone, listen, I mean, I'm
going back 27 years,
so I can't talk about Massachusetts now. I, cause I don't know what it's like
now,
but when I was there, it had this weird thing where it was, I can't even say
super racist.
It was as racist as anywhere else is what I'm finding when I'm out there. Um,
we just had like,
uh, the busing thing so that it just glommed onto us. Right. And they act like,
you know,
upstate New York is just welcoming everybody with open arms. But the second you
get into Western
Massachusetts, it's all these evil white people. And I just having done the
road and talking to people
afterwards. Yeah. I just reminded me of a gig I did a long time ago. First time
I went into New York,
this guy, uh, I was head, uh, opening for wanted to go water skiing and it was
right after Labor Day
and everybody had put their boats away. So he knew that there was going to be
wives there. So if he
made them laugh, he could talk them. And so he was on, just say, man, I love
water skiing. And he was
killing it. He just kept saying how he loved water skiing. So sure enough, some
wife took the bait
and this guy took his boat out for us, dragged us across the lake. And he had a,
you know, he had a
great time. We had a great time. We'll go back to his place, finger sandwiches
and everything.
And he decides to tell a couple of jokes and it was just like, wow, whoa, where
are we? And she's
going, oh, come on, stop it. It was just like, you know, uh, two guys walking
to a bar N word. And
was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, two of those. And then we kind
of like, we're like,
all right, man. Yeah. That's the way it's like being from the Midwest. Like
when I got to New York
city, everyone was like, Oh, is your, you know, like I tell you to joke around.
It's like, like if I
would go back to Indiana, it was like, how's everyone at the Klan meeting? You
know, like assuming that
it was all, but like it's everywhere. It's really, you know, it's not like, uh,
this is the white guilt
of your own state podcast. Yeah, no, but we're not defending it. It's
everywhere, man. You know,
everybody's doing it, but it is, you know, there's a great documentary called a
civil war that I woke up
at like 4am. Cause I had like three kids, my kids in my bed. What if I say I
had three kids in my bed?
Yeah. I had three kids. I had met him earlier. No. Um, and so Jesus juice. And
they, uh, but like
it talks about how, you know, the North was all about freeing the slaves and
then the slaves were
freed and there was the great migration and the North was like, wait a minute.
Right. Do you know
what I mean? It changed the whole, I don't know. I think they were always like
that. And they just
acted like my, my actually have a theory that the reason why the people in the
South, whatever
they're doing the tomahawk chop and have no empathy is because Northern whites
have not
shown them empathy since before the civil war, always for acting like they were
dumber and
all of this type of stuff. And to this day, like talk show hosts can do monologue
jokes about
them fucking their own sister and everybody's just sitting there laughing. So
they've always
been treated as less than. So I feel like, uh, you know, there's a big phony
thing with
Northern whites acting like, Oh, we're, we're the good white people. Oh yeah.
Yeah. So
I mean, that was, I mean, I know you're a piece of shit just like me, you know,
I'm very flawed.
I'm very flawed. I'm very, well, you know, but you have that easy speaking,
like I'm very
flawed. I'm very, no, well, I think it's weird. Uh, you know, I've had people
like friends,
peers be like, well, like they'll curse in front of me and they'll be like,
sorry to curse in front.
Like I'm like, I'm some evangelical, like we're in a, in a Bible study class.
Do you work clean?
I work relatively clean, but it's not as if, you know, me or Brian Regan don't
curse in everyday
life. It's just different styles of comedy.
Right. So I don't know. Just bringing that up.
It's all right. So Bill, what's my brains out.
You do?
Cause I don't, I don't know how to write a joke. So I have to scream my way
through my act.
That's not true at all. But now women, so.
I can show you some tape.
Let's talk about, let's talk about, um, doing specials and when you're so like,
cause we've
discussed this before off the air. You do it in two years, two years.
I do one. Yeah. Well, kind of like when I'm feel like, uh, I'm ready to do one.
Yeah. And, um, I think that that works out the best because if I was to look at
like,
I remember when, like when Louie was putting them out every single year, if I
ever got caught
up in that mindset that I have to be able to put them out as fast as he does,
uh, like
that, I just knew that wouldn't work for me. So I couldn't get like, uh, you
know, when
you're a young comic, you just say, what, what is this person doing? What do
they do? I
need to be doing what all of these people that are successful are doing.
Fortunately, when he started doing that, I was further enough in my career to
be like,
all right. You can see your perspective.
Yeah. Like I can't, I can't make an act work in a year. I mean, that, that's, I
can't do
that. I mean, that's also like, even when he was doing that, uh, he was also
doing an
entire television show. It was unbelievable. And writing and editing it. Like
people don't
realize it's like, if you're touring doing standup, uh, even, you know, like
you act too.
It's like, if you do some acting projects, that'll take you out of the
mix for a month or two. Yeah. But like, if you're doing a show and you're, you
know,
it's just an insane problem. So like, that's like what Louie was doing was kind
of otherworldly,
but like, I do feel like that's why I'm saying. So if I was to, I was just
looking at the standup
aspect to forget about writing a whole season and doing all and making all
those story arcs
and everything work and dealing with network notes and deadlines and Bob Bond
and doing the
press just for the frigging show and the fact that he was still knocking out
these hours.
Yeah. I'm glad I also didn't add that. Cause then I'd be like, wow, man, I knew
I sucked,
but Jesus. Right. Right. But I also think it's one of those things where, um,
whatever,
like the norm keeps shifting. Like the norm was like, you know, Leary did that
one special
and it was like, boom. And it was, there was an expectation. He never had to do
another one.
I think he did do another one, but locked and loaded. It was the one, but that
one came out
like four or five years later and that was fine. And it was, it wasn't, Hey man,
where's your neck?
Cause people do that. Where's your next one? Yeah. What's your next one?
So it's, it shifts and it's, it's, it's shifting. And also the streaming
platform stuff changes
constantly, you know? So, and you've only done Netflix. Yeah. Because you stay
where daddy tells
you to stay. Oh, no, I see where this is going. I know where this is going. I
know where this is
going. I've had a great run at Netflix. No Netflix. Look, I'm back at Netflix.
Oh, you are back.
Yeah. I thought you were still over there with your side check Amazon. No, no.
Look, Netflix is
this is going to be a Netflix fashion. No, no, no. I mean, not at all. Why don't
you come over to
Amazon? What are you scared? I was waiting for that. No, it is. That's not it
at all. It's, it is
interesting to see the different platforms, but nobody can compete with Netflix.
Nobody it's like,
but that being said, you know, three years, five years, things can change. Yeah.