Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-10-22
Uploaded: 2022-02-11T04:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-10-22' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-10-22' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-11. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-10-22

hey what's going on it's bill burn it's time for the thursday afternoon just
before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you i'm just checking in on
you um
seeing how you're doing seeing how your week's going getting adjusted
trying to get comfortable here on the bed trying to knock the podcast out
before i take the kids
to school for god's sakes by the way by the way old billy tits moved down a
notch on his belt in the
right direction okay i am on my journey this is my journey this is something
that i need to encounter
i have to figure out why i was eating those ice cream sandwiches every night
depression um yeah i'm
going from billy bitch tits to uh bill bulimia bill bulimic hi this is uh mr
bulimic how are you
is that is that bulimia or is that the other one bulimia is the one where you
get to enjoy the meal
before you give it back is that what it is i don't know anorexia is when you
just don't eat that's what
it is i don't know what it is but i'm sure i'm sure i'm messing it up no
believe me yeah whatever
you know what i mean it's like trying to remember you know lefty loosey righty
tighty and then you're
like unscrewing a light bulb above your head and you're like wait do the same
rules apply when i'm
looking down over but now i'm like above it now but i'm under it it's like i'm
hovering over it but
i'm under it you know that's like my ship with like which which which is the
front of the stage
which is the back of the i'm sorry of a stove you know to me the back of the
stove is is by the wall
and the front of the stove
i i don't have i always have it i always have it wrong now i don't even
remember
that is the best is the way it is but for me i was always standing behind it
for some reason
so the back of the stove to me was the burner closer to me and then the front
whatever see people
this is why i became a comedian this is why i never made it in carpentry i
tried to do carpentry
i lasted eight days i was just like i do not have the gift i have the brains i
could sit here all
fucking you know years of my life and become and work my way up to being a
mediocre carpenter
god knows that's what people want huh they want a carpenter that does an
okay job i'll tell you right now who cannot do an okay job this sunday
joe burrow of the bengals or matthew stafford
from the lions and now with the rams that's amazing can you imagine if the rams
win it and matthew
stafford after all of those years being in that dysfunctional abusive
relationship
that is being the quarterback of the detroit lions i mean who's kidding who
that is a how many ex-boyfriends
did that fucking bitch of a team leave laying on the side of the road i'm
trying to think of all
greg landry eric hippel all the way through joey harrington
matthew stafford has been like
he was the general pay he's probably the best lions quarterback they've had
since uh what's his face there we got his book right here heart of a lion bobby
lane
bobby lane yeah i i would say that let me look this up let me look this up
the history of lions quarterbacks okay and i'm going to tell you right now
there's going to be a lot
of real estate agents whatever people do after your core of the quarterback of
the detroit lions
um now i'm wondering
you know as a lions fan you got to be rooting for matthew stafford because he
did put the time in but
then also you kind of got to be rooting against him because it's just like you
know qb history um
if he wins it the very next year it's going to kind of confirm
you know it's going to kind of confirm what you always thought that there's
just something wrong
with your franchise all right since the great days of bobby lane 1950 51 all
the way through 57 and
then he joined the steelers i believe we're going to get into my okay greg landry
greg landry made it
from 71 to 74 and joe reed i guess he was all of a sudden third string they
blamed him and then they
are with we're just with you brought him back 76 77 gary danielson
all right those years couple years eric hippo gary danielson back and forth no
one wanted to say
it was the lion's fault to switch that was right through 86 and there was a guy
chuck long they had
a guy rusty give rusty a shot rusty hilger and then oh god poor rodney pete
coming out of usc
da da da da da da ba ba ba ba ba ba ba bum bum the lions he was there from 89
90 91 92 93 the arsenio hall
show years i believe no he was a little bit after the tonight show with johnny
carson was 92
but i think arsenio was still around city was still around those years the
running gun of the bills
losing every year or senior hall coming after johnny carson just putting this
all in historic
historical perspective with uh cape fear i think was a big movie back then
natural board history scott
mitchell then 94 to 97. charlie batch sounds like yak charlie yak ty dettman
was in there too
honorable mention uh joey harrington 2002 2003 2004 2005 good day sir jeff garcia
backup somehow he got out of
there and went to san francisco john kitna lasted two years
dan orlovsky and then in 2009 along came a man named matthew stafford who has
had he had the longest
tenure as a quarterback he started in two for the lions 2009 2010 sean hill got
the starting job and matthew
stafford was back up he played then stafford comes back 2011 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20. 10 straight seasons
he he must own every record bobby lane was wait bobby lane 50 51 51 was eight
seasons
no 51 2 3 4 5 6 7 no that is eight seasons
wow i don't know matthew stafford is he going to do it on sunday i'll tell you
right now the key
to the game is going to be that offensive line can they protect joe burrow
against this the down four
what do you guys think do you think the golden boy joe burrow comes in
and rightfully claims what should have been the bengals rather than the 49ers
all throughout the all throughout the 80s that should have been bill walsh on
their sideline coaching
but the great paul brown the only mistake he made turned out to be the biggest
mistake ever for those
cincinnati bengals he thought bill walsh did not have the mental stability to
be a head coach in the nfl
and he bad-mouthed him around the league and he let him go well bill just left
there was nothing else he could do
and he worked his way back into a head coaching job with the san francisco 49ers
and he applied that offense that he came up with with the cincinnati bengals
the what became known as the west coast offense was actually created
in cincinnati i know i've said this before but people don't listen every week
but now you know
the rest of the story how ironic that two of their four super bowl victories
of the 49ers in the 1980s the team of the 80s were against those cincinnati bengals
i gotta root for the bengals i like the ramps it's one of this is one of these
super bowls you're
just going to be happy for people you know i'll be happy for matthew stafford i
won't be happy for
la fans they're just uh they're just not informed enough
they really are like i don't i don't know what it is i don't know why it is so
hard to find
an informed los angeles fan i don't know why it's great when you do old school
laker fans from back at
the forum people who grew up watching the dodgers hating the yankees in the
late 70s i love meeting la
fans like that but it is just so rare i don't know bill maybe it's the company
you keep maybe it is
maybe it is i don't know um
i don't know it's just
if you critique their team they just go hater
hater it's just never gets into a good sports debate your team are it's like
all right i guess
that's what it is okay um anyway and the funny thing is what is funny bill has
anything been funny
so far in this podcast as you list every goddamn jerk off that played
quarterback for the rams for the
last 50 years hey i'm into that if you didn't listen to this podcast would you
ever know about marlon briscoe
huh you want to talk about the modern day nfl a guy who would have changed the
game if they let him
marlon briscoe with the denver broncos
first starting black quarterback in the nfl and you look at it you're seeing randall
cunningham and
all of these other guys 20 something years later you're seeing him playing that
style right then and
there you're seeing him be successful and what did they do they drafted a white
guy
and made marlon briscoe a wide receiver another this is this is like a segment
that i'm gonna make
or maybe you i mean you guys probably know more about this than i do this
segment is called horrific
in the nfl um i'll start with two the uh uh the denver broncos letting turning
marlon briscoe into a
wide receiver and shipping him off to buffalo rather than keeping him as
quarterback of the denver broncos
number two two two two the cincinnati bangles passing over the great bill walsh
who had already invented the west coast what would become known as the west
coast offense because of
bill parcells coining it in 1985 when his giants beat the 49ers in the playoffs
and he said what do
you think of that west coast offense now um thus giving credit
that that offense was created in san francisco and i guarantee you there's a
bunch of 49er fans
you know walking around with their winter jackets on in january because of that
weird weather up there
i mean sorry in july let me tell you that time i took a vacation to san francisco
in the summertime
like 20 years ago with my girlfriend at the time and we both wore like summer
clothes and we you know we
landed in oakland because it was cheaper and we took the bart over and it was
like the summer we were all
excited this is going to be great san francisco we're going to have a great
time and we got it we took the
bart to the subway and we came up out of the ground and the only thing more
shocking than how cold it was
was the sheer amount of homeless people and the level of homeless that they had
just the way they looked
like the they look like 49ers they look like miners like boxcar willie looking
for like jump on a rail car
like beards and
it looked like you were watching a bad hollywood movie and they needed like a
homeless guy and they just like
overly make the person homeless um and we froze our asses off we couldn't
figure out what the deal was
so we immediately go out and buy a bunch of you know sweatshirts to say san
francisco on them you
know with the local whatever and then we went inland at one point to go to like
magic
mountain or something like that some amusement park and then all of a sudden it
was hot as balls
the second we got in there bill does this story have an ending not really does
it have a point yeah
they got weird weather out there anyway um horrific fuck ups in sports i can
tell you can just i can
tell you right now the the celtics when we had red arabeck where we're always
on the the good end of that
you know the robert parish trade whatever the we did to get kevin mikhail and
larry birds rights we
always seem to come out on top with moves like that i mean dallas cowboys i
mean i mean the minnesota
vikings it's obviously the herschel walker trade you know that was one of the
great i can't
even say it was great i just feel like jimmy johnson the entire time was like
there's no way they're
gonna sign this deal there's no way let me make sure i get this deal right what
happened with the with the
herschel walker trade was the minnesota vikings agreed to give as far as i
remember they were they
agreed to give all like these just um regular guys up like 10 regular guys up
for herschel walker
so they thought that they were getting a steal but there was something in there
that if if
if jimmy cut those cut any of the players in the trade he would get draft picks
from the vikings so
the second they signed it he goes you know i'm going to cut all those players
they're like you
wouldn't do that and they were like yeah and he took all the vikings draft
picks and had all the
cowboys and that's how they built here we go herschel walker trade was the
largest the larges