Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-3-22 with BILL MAHER
Uploaded: 2022-11-03T23:55:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-3-22 with BILL MAHER' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-3-22 with BILL MAHER' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-03. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-3-22 with BILL MAHER

All right, hey, what's going on, everybody?
It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon,
just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.
Just checking in on you, seeing how your week's going.
And once again, once again, I have an amazing guest.
This is what Thursdays are becoming.
Amazing guests with Mr. Bill Burr.
We have the one and only from Real Time.
Bill Maher is with us here, who is, he's plugging,
he's got to have a date, the Hulu Theater in Madison Square Garden?
Yes, on the 12th of this month, November.
That's amazing.
Is that where Eddie did Raw?
I don't know.
I think he did.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't think the Hulu Theater existed.
Well, they renamed it.
Oh, okay.
Well, it's Madison Square Garden.
If you can't find that, you're not enough.
Right.
You know what else happened there?
That was where that whole East Coast, West Coast rap thing started.
Is that right?
That's where Snoop was going,
you guys don't have any love for the West Coast?
And Suge was saying, all up in the videos.
Come on, you know this stuff.
I love the energy that you start this show with.
I mean, like a minute.
Bill, don't bring me down.
What I do is I stay at this level of energy
to stay ahead of the fog of my depression.
What are you depressed about?
Your career's going fantastic.
What do you mean?
What am I?
That's what fills you up?
That's the BS.
That's like, and then I do this,
and then I do two episodes of ER,
and then I'll love myself.
Seriously, you're not happy?
No, I am happy.
Okay.
I am happy.
Before you judge me.
But I do know that if I slow down too much
and I really take it all in,
yeah, I don't like the movie.
Well, I do understand that.
Okay.
I mean, I only live for the future also.
Like the past offer,
some people are like,
they really get a lot of joy out of memories.
It's like nothing.
I mean, because it's gone.
It's only about tomorrow.
Do you throw stuff out?
Do you hold on to things?
I am very selective.
I'm very neat.
So I do hold on to things,
but it fits into like,
I'm very big on files.
I have many files.
Like I'm not a car guy,
but I have files up the ass.
I have them in the garage.
I have them in my office.
Like a file cabinet?
Like very, very good files.
Like Fire King files.
They are fireproof and they are strong.
Some of them have had for 30 years.
They last.
What's in there?
Everything.
Like every year I keep a file
of just like stuff from that year
that just reminds me of what happened in the year.
Notes and things that happened.
Like, you know.
So you are a little sentimental.
Just in a very office type of way.
It's not really for sentimentality.
I call it being a good caveman.
Because when I want to look back
and know what happened in 1991 or something,
I can look at that file and know who I was.
I want to be a good anthropologist for my own life.
Oh, all right.
Now when you go back,
how often do you go into those file cabinets?
That's what I want to know.
Like, is this something like every Friday night?
It's not.
Let's see Bill Maher in 1988.
It's not often.
But I did have the occasion,
I won't even tell you why,
to look back at like the beginnings.
Like stuff that from like age 12 to 14,
I was looking at with someone.
We were laughing our asses off.
Oh, all right.
About it.
Because, you know, I kept a little journal.
I started when I was like 14 or something.
And it's just, of course, hysterical.
I mean, what goes through your mind
and what you're thinking.
And I mean, like in that file,
there were things like,
I had sent away to WABC radio in New York
for the hot 100 songs of the year,
three years in a row.
And they, you know,
if you sent away with a self-addressed stamped envelope,
they would send you.
The list of them.
Yes.
What were the top 100 songs?
I guess this was by sales back then.
Now it's streaming and who knows.
Right.
I mean, Taylor Swift.
It's made up.
Taylor Swift has the top 10 songs now on the charts.
Well, that could never happen
back when they actually tabulated
who did the best
by who went to a record store and bought it.
The Beatles once had the top,
I think, four or five.
But that's only because
they had the whole backlog
from 63
before they had Broken Here in America.
So like when they had
I Want to Hold Your Hand
was their first hit in America.
But they had a
She Loves You
who had been a hit in England
the year before
and a couple of their other singles.
So they had like five songs
in the top 10.
That will never happen again
for real.
Right.
But she is a really good
I respect how
Oh, sure.
a good business person she is
that she realized
that she was getting screwed over
by her label
and then tried to create
something else.
I forget if that worked.
Yeah.
Where they give you like
for every 90 million views
like she gets
she gets like half a cent.
I mean I love how like
like the internet
set us artists free
for like half a second
before the business people
came doing like
the end around.
Like right now
they're signing new comics
and they're like
owning their podcasts
and getting
and I'm trying to tell
every young comic I need
like you don't fucking
need these guys.
They can't get you advertising
if you don't have listeners.
You're going to get
all of this stuff
and then what's going to happen
is if you leave
that agency
it's like
they're going to get
your money
for the rest of time.
It was like
back in the day
if you booked a sitcom
with one
and your agent
was at whatever
William Morris
and then you left
for Gersh
the whole time
you did that sitcom
you owed William Morris
the money.
They're going to do that
with like podcasts.
Where the fuck
do you see young comics?
What do you mean?
I go out to the clubs Bill.
You do?
Yeah.
You have to.
You do?
It keeps you young
as far as like
you're still
like I'm still 54
but like
you can't go out.
Dude I used to watch
a lot of guys
from your generation
who would have
my generation
I'm 12 years older
than you.
You're a boomer man
you're fucking talking
about the Beatles
getting all
your feathers
fluffed about
what's her face
the White Album
is so much better
than Taylor Swift.
By the way
to anyone under 30
we're the same.
Okay so don't be like
your generation.
No no
but I'm saying
as a kid
I was coming up
your stand up generation
during the heyday
of the sitcom
can we meet
on that ground?
Can you uncross
your arms
for half a second
let me feel
like you're judging me.
Alright so
we're coming
and like
I saw a number
of people
who were like
series regulars
or had their own sitcom
and you know
the whole thing
was once you got
into that third season
and it got rolling
and you were working
towards syndication
back when that was a thing
and you'd have
this avalanche of money
I saw a handful
of those guys
just stop doing stand up
and then come back
after like six
seven years
that's like leaving music
for six seven years
how much it changes
and I watched them
like really struggle
I mean they eventually
figured it out
but that's why
I kind of learned
that lesson
it's just like
I need to
this is like going
to the gym
I have to do that
I mean I go to the gym
but I just don't do it
in the clubs
I mean I'm always
on the road
almost every
not every weekend
but like every other weekend
I mean
yeah but you're going
on in front of your fans
though
and that's different
that's a layup
they're there to see you
exactly
why would I torture myself
and go in front of people
who don't understand me
because you're going
to lose your edge man
I do not lose my edge
trust me
my edge
I just did a special
it was on early this year
called adulting
it's very
I mean trust me
I'm surprised
I wasn't cancelled
from it
yeah but who's
going to cancel you
I can say young people do
I was going to say
you are the establishment
well by the way
you and I
anybody could get cancelled
in the next 30 seconds
oh wait you were
one of the first guys
when you had
a politically incorrect
yes
that's right
I forgot about that
excuse me
I was literally cancelled
okay
they literally
took your show away
back when there was
yes when cancelling
meant actually being cancelled
yes but our younger viewers
he had a show
called politically incorrect
which was fantastic
it was just
you hosted
and then you had
just four completely
different people
right
you would have like
you know
Anwar Sadat on
with like slash
and then they would
just start talking
I love the choice
of Anwar Sadat
that is so perfect
I was trying to think
of somebody political
I actually saw him
I saw him do a gig
out in front of the
White House
we went to
we went to Washington D.C.
in the early 80s
and Anwar Sadat
was there
no
yeah and he gave
a speech
I saw him live
man
that's like seeing
the Stones
right
no no
it's like seeing
Jim Morrison
because he's not
here anymore
boy how about
the way he bought
the farm huh
I mean
that was bizarre
for you guys
who don't know
he was watching
a military parade
of his own country
and as he's watching
one of the trucks
pull off
everybody jumped off
and just started
shooting at him
with machine guns
right
and his security
tried to bury him
in chairs
well it was
his own security
people who were
killing him
yeah
same way
that world leader
thing is
that's a tough gig
tough gig
same way Indira Gandhi
got it
you know
sometimes the people
around you
who you
was that Mahatma
Gandhi's brother
no no no
Gandhi is a
that was a deep cut
no a deep cut
no Indira Gandhi
was the leader
of India
not related
to the other Gandhi
so that name's
like Sullivan
over there
it's very common
actually the name
Patel
is even more
common
I think
like the number
of people
in India
named Patel
there's some
stat I read
like if it was
a country
it would be
like you know
the 18th
largest country
in the world
have you ever been
over there
India
no no no
I did a gig
over there man
it was amazing
come on
a gig
yeah
you did a gig
in India
yeah it was amazing
what city
and I'll tell you
the people
they're fucking
hilarious
they're ball breakers
when I called up
this podcast
and they would
just talk to me
going like
hey you gonna
talk about this
and I was like
ah you know
I don't know
they go
you gonna talk
about that
they just kept
leading me
on these
you gonna talk
about religion
and I was like
you know
I don't
I go wait
are you guys
talking about
this stuff
and then they
started laughing
they were trying
to get me
in trouble
what city
what city was this
Mumbai
which used to be
Bombay
of course
when we were kids
no kidding
all right
I'm not trying
to you know
okay I get it
you have a globe
no no no
Mumbai
Mumbai
sorry
it's the city
that was attacked
so viciously
in 2008
remember the attack
there
by the Protestants
no
by the Protestants
the Amish
I believe
was
yeah
I love a water
no no
who was
it was
Pakistan
was it Pakistan
it was a Muslim attack
on Hindu India
I mean
and boy
did they
I mean
they went through
that city
that hotel
that they attacked
I think they made
a movie about it
the hotel
Mumbai
or something
yeah
well when I was there
they had
people with like
machine guns
and stuff
out front
but it was like
they were
they were beautiful
people man
there was something
about them
they were all
jammed in together
and you'd think
that they'd be
like New York
but they weren't
they you know
I'm not gonna lie to you
there was people
walking around
with t-shirts
that said
real men don't rape
and I was like
what's up with that
you're like
that's really not here
that's a little bit
north of here
it's like
alright
every country's got
you know
their old school
Times Square
you don't go to
that city is
one of the
the greatest
income inequality
examples in the world
because there's
billionaires
there's a house there
that is like
I don't know
something like
I don't know
50 stories high
or something
and the guy
owns the whole thing
and then there
are the slum dogs
I mean there are
people who literally
live in that sewage
I mean
what their immune
systems must be like
over there
just incredible
I don't think they need
the vaccine
they are the vaccine
I think they're good
yeah
no but it was
it was q