Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-23-23
Uploaded: 2023-02-23T23:20:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-23-23' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-23-23' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-23. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-23-23

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon,
just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on you,
all right?
And hey, fuck your week. How's your day going? Huh? Did you wake up this
morning, have a conference call, and get kicked right in your fucking red nuts
like I did?
Oh, there's no business like show business, like no business I know. Take that
idea and go fuck yourself.
Ah, whatever. It's just, it's just, it's a theme. I've always had to do it. I
always get to go fuck yourself, and then I take the go fuck yourself, I put it
on my back, and then I walk it up the hill myself.
And then you get up there, and everybody's like, you know, I knew that go fuck
yourself was gonna fucking this, that, and the other.
And you gotta sit there going, oh yeah, I know you did. You were in my corner.
Anyway.
Anyway, who gives a shit? I had a great fucking week.
I went to, I flew my helicopter, and there was a couple of airports that, I was
telling you, like, I gotta, I gotta solo into these things.
And, uh, I gotta get the monkey off my back here. What the fuck is this, right?
So, of course, the time I have free time, I go over there.
It's windy as shit, right? Windy as shit if you fly, you know, a light
helicopter like I do.
So, it was like 30 knots out. Um, and I was just like, I don't give a fuck.
I have a fully articulated main rotor. If, if, is any sort of problem, I can
always just set it down.
I can slow down. I can just turn around and go back to the airport. Who gives a
shit, right?
Visibility's, you know, order of 10 statute miles. Who gives a fuck?
So, of course, the second I get up there, visibility goes down.
And, uh, you know, it's bumpy or whatever. And I was just like, yeah, but it's
fine.
You know, I can see this far. I can see over there. There's an airport right
there. I, I, I'm all right.
All right, this isn't insane. And I couldn't figure it out.
It was like windy and the visibility sucked because usually if it's windy, the
visibility is clear because it's blowing all the, all the, all the shit out of
there, right?
When there's no wind, you have poor visibility. So that, that's, that's one of
the funny things about aviation.
If you want a nice, smooth ride, you know, your visibility is going to suck.
If you want to like go up there and it, the whole world looks, looks like a
fucking, um, what do you call it?
One of those, what are those little, little postcard?
You know, like that fucking three days out of the year where you can see the
downtown LA buildings and behind it, you see a snow-capped mountain, right?
And those days are the days you want to go fly, but it's bumpy as shit.
So I was flying and I flew over to the five and I went, took it South.
And, uh, I wanted to, I was trying to go to this airport called Corona, which
is a, a, um, uncontrolled airport, meaning there's no tower.
You just talk to the traffic in the pattern.
Um, if nobody talks to you, cause you're trying to figure out which, you know,
which way the wind's blowing.
Traffic advisory, whatever.
Of course, nobody's in the pattern or whatever.
Um, oh, but the first thing is I had to fly by Fullerton, um, airport.
And what's funny is Fullerton, I swear to God, I don't think I've ever gotten
on the, on the radio with them.
And they either didn't yell at me or they were in the process of yelling at
somebody else.
Fullerton is like your dad in the seventies, you know, he's never happy.
So I, uh, I get on with them.
I'm at the 605 and the five.
And there's this big like radio tower thing there that's kind of hard to see.
But, you know, I've looked at my map.
I see, you know, how high it is and I see my minimum safe altitude.
So even if I don't see it, I'm going to be over it by like, you know, 500 feet
or whatever.
So I'm waiting to make my radio call because there's a bunch of people in the
pattern talking.
And the tower says to somebody, all right, you know, what did he say?
He said, you're number three after that Bonanza or whatever.
And the guy goes, confirmed.
He goes, we have that traffic in sight, right?
The fucking guy in the tower goes, basically yells at him saying, you're
looking at the wrong plane.
All right.
That's he was looking at the first plane.
He thought it was plane number two.
So he was getting in line to fucking land and there would be another plane
right on his fucking ass.
Right.
So the guy yells at him and he goes, that's the wrong plane.
You should never make your turn until you confirm, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
He goes, that's a cardinal error.
The pilot tried to defend himself.
I think that that's when the guy came back and said there was a car.
I mean, the fucking visibility was horrible, right?
So, you know, the tower was right or whatever.
So then I'm getting on.
It's just like, yeah, hey, how are you?
I just want to transition.
So they told me it was cool.
Keep it at 1600 or above.
And I was like, fine.
And I ended up getting, you know, I was waiting for them.
And then when you go along the 91, when you transition past Fullerton Airport,
when you go along the 91, you almost have to be like right over the highway
because there's that permanent temporary TFR over Disneyland.
And it almost, it just touches the highway at this one point.
So I got past that.
And then Fullerton goes, you know, resume on navigation.
And they, whatever, I could fly whatever altitude I wanted to.
And then I got the frequency change.
And then I was out of the airspace.
So I was like, all right, fine.
So now I'm going over to Corona.
Visibility is getting worse a little bit.
But I just keep looking around.
And I see all these pockets where it's not too bad, where I would be fine.
I said, well, I can go.
I can fly over there.
I could set it down here or whatever, right?
So I'm going to Corona.
And then all of a sudden, it just gets really bumpy.
And I'm really getting like tossed around and shit.
But I was just like, all right, I was just looking at the hills I was flying
through.
It created like a Venturi.
So the air was really flowing through there.
I was like, I just need to be a little higher, a little lower, or whatever.
I don't know what.
And just slow down.
I got through that.
I go over to Corona.
I get on the phone, the phone.
I get on the radio.
Nobody's talking.
But with my avionics, I can see which way the wind's going.
So I just joined the downwind.
I land.
I do it.
Everything's fine.
And now I'm going to fly up to Ontario.
I hope this isn't boring, you guys.
But this was like a big deal for me.
I go up to Ontario.
And I'm thinking I'm either going to be in Chino or Riverside's airspace or
possibly both.
So I'm following the highway up there, the 15.
And lo and behold, if you just follow the 15, you're not in either airport's
airspace,
which was great because it gave me plenty of time to listen to the ATIS,
which is the information, the current information of Ontario.
You know, Ontario is like, you know, jet blue, you know, American Southwest,
like real fucking shit.
And then I'm coming over there on my little fucking egg beater.
So I listened to the ATIS.
I get the information and I'm like, okay, here we go.
And it ended up being like, and also when I flew up north, it got really clear.
It was just sort of down along like the water and stuff.
And there was like a storm coming in and it wasn't as bumpy.
But then also up near the San Gabriel Mountains, the visibility up there was
really poor.
Like I couldn't even see the fucking mountains from where I was.
So I had built this up for years.
I would just never go over there.
I would land at Bracket because it was a little, you know, Delta airport.
And it's just like pretty much just, you know, weekend warrior jerk offs like
me landing there, right?
This is like a big deal.
And essentially, without getting into the aviation conversation, all I just
said to them was like,
hey, is it okay if I do a low approach and straight out departure?
And they were like, yeah, fine.
And then I said, okay.
And then I did it.
And I was just like, why did I make such a big fucking deal about that?
It gave me a lot of confidence.
But of course, as I'm coming in, I hear them talking to the Southwest flight.
And they're saying that, you know, they're going to take out first.
So they go, confirm that you have that traffic in sight.
And, you know, the visibility was bad.
So I'm sitting there going, I think that's it, right?
And I was like, you know, looking for traffic, whatever.
I knew the guy was on the fucking ground.
So it wasn't like a problem.
And then I get, you know, just needed to fly for another like 15 seconds.
So I could totally confirm that, you know, that is the airplane, right?
So I see it and they go, okay.
After it takes off, you know, just caution, wake turbulence, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.
And I just set it down on the numbers is what I did.
Because I just figured like, all right.
Because I always get nervous about that wake turbulence shit.
I know like when I'm landing behind a big plane like that,
all you do is you just, you just see where they land on the runway and you just
land beyond that.
And you'll be fine.
And this thing was like taken off.
So I was just like, all right, I'll land as far to this side as a runway.
I will touch down.
Because by the time I was even coming in, the fucking guy had already taken off
and was gone.
I probably could have landed anywhere and I would have been fine.
But it was already like a windy day.
So long story short, I was able to do that.
And then I flew back to where I keep my helicopter.
And I felt like a million bucks for like two days.
And it was funny.
I'm coming home.
I was telling the lovely Nia about it.
And she's just going, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, all right.
I'm like, no, this is like a big deal.
I mean, I was like landing right after, you know, Southwest jet took off.
She's like, uh, okay.
Could give a fuck.
Hey, guys, I'm going to, uh, hey, guys.
Did I just say that like we're all at us?
I'm going to come with the slumber party energy.
You know, my kid's got a fucking thing on the, uh, on the, uh, what do you call
it?
The, uh, shelf here.
It's of like the solar system.
And I saw this thing the other day on Instagram or YouTube or one of those dumbass
places that
I fucking hang out on the internet.
They, it said, what people think the solar system looks like, what it actually
looks like.
And it's like, first of all, I resent the fact that you're fucking thinking
that you know
what I think the solar system looks like.
I have no fucking idea what the solar system looks like.
All right.
But I did think that the sun was just sort of sitting there and everything was
going around
it.
And this thing had it looking like the sun was just hurling through space, you
know, going
a good, you know, like when someone's driving too fast in a parking lot and you
got your kid
and you do that hat that you do that dad thing that, you know, and it's always
some young
kid with some stupid ass fucking hat on or whatever the fuck it is they're
doing, you know, or one
of these cologne guys, you know, there's, there's, I don't know what it is
about my neighborhood,
but there's just a lot of guys with beards and cologne acting like that is just
completely
acceptable.
Uh, it's very like 1983, you know, it isn't the, the sixties long hair.
It isn't the seventies.
Let it be sort of fucking Frank Ponciarello haircut.
It's that fucking, uh, the in between there, that and the, um, before the flat
top came
back in the eighties.
Um, anyway, I had no fucking idea that, that the sun is moving.
I mean, why wouldn't it be?
It's fucking in space, right?
It's not like it's tethered to anything.
I just, I don't, I just don't fucking understand how the, how did somebody
figure out that it
was moving?
Is it moving?
I mean, that's what I, you know, it's funny is the fucking, there was no
explanation on
the video.
It was just a video.
It was like, and it just said what 