Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 4-6-23
Uploaded: 2023-04-07T21:10:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 4-6-23' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 4-6-23' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-07. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 4-6-23

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon
just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on Yoo-Hoo.
I am in New York City, ba-ba-ba-ba, doo-doo-doo-doo, hanging out an extra day
after the 10th annual Patrice O'Neill Comedy Benefit.
It was a smashing success. I'm hanging out for an extra day because I'm going
to go see Yusef Daves at the Blue Note tonight.
I've never seen a show there. This guy's an incredible drummer, and he's always
playing with amazing musicians.
And I was like, you know what? I'm always fucking leaving, or I'm always, you
know, getting there a day later.
I'm going to stay an extra day. Fuck it. I've been home three months with the
family.
Dad can spend one more day out on the road to go see this amazing drummer, and
then I'll be home for most of April, which will be cool.
So I'm very excited to be going over there. I got my old man earplugs.
Probably going to swing by the cellar and do a spot.
You know, I dropped by the stand in New York Comedy Club the other night.
Sort of been staying downtown here, so I've been doing that.
I visited some friends, you know.
Didn't quite stick with my, well, I didn't stick with my first 10 days of the
month.
I had a, I had coffee yesterday and today.
I mean, what the fuck? I'm in New York. What, am I not going to do that?
And then I smoked a cigar on two different occasions with a friend of mine.
So I owe the till two days, so now I have to go until April 12th.
It's just how it works. Whatever. It'll still be the same amount of days.
But anyway, just had an amazing time being out here and fucking psyched.
I did my laundry. There's nothing better than, after you bet you're on the road
for like a week,
get all that fucking dirty laundry and underwear and socks and shit.
I fucking hate stuffing it back in the bag.
So, um, I just went to a laundromat and did it, fucking old-school style.
Um, because I waited till the last day and you can't do wash and fold on the
same day.
I think you can. I'm not sure.
But I just wasn't sure, so I said, fuck it. I just went in and did it and, uh,
knocked that out so I have all...
Everything's clean, going back into the bag.
I got this show to see and, uh, and then last night was, um, just incredible.
I want to thank everybody at the stand, as always, for the incredible after-party.
But, uh, let's see if I can remember the whole freaking night.
Um, the, the lineup was, let's see, Sypha started out DJing. Rich Voss, of
course.
Um, Shane Gillis opened, fucking smashed.
Eleanor, um, Kerrigan went next. She fucking killed it.
Um, I'm gonna fuck this up, my old man brain.
Then it was, uh, Mo Amark went up. He destroyed. That's three.
Then I want to say Keith Robinson, Jim Norton.
And then Dave Attell dropped in. Andrew Dice Clay dropped in.
Then Ricky Velez went on after that.
If you can believe that. Fucking destroyed.
And then, uh, Jon Stewart dropped by.
He fucking destroyed. And then I went up.
I think that that was the night.
And everybody, in their own way, in their own style, killed.
Oh, Sypha went up too. Sypha did five minutes.
Um, oh, it's fucking hilarious.
So I'm sitting there going like, wait, Sypha's DJing.
How the fuck is he gonna, and Voss intros him.
So Sypha's playing music for him to walk on.
And Rich is supposed to go back to his turntables and shut it off.
And all I'm thinking is, as I'm watching it, I'm like,
there's no way Rich isn't gonna fuck this up.
So, you know, he's playing some sort of, you know, H to the Izzo or...
There's some Jay-Z shit.
So Sypha walks up to the mic.
Fucking dumbass Rich Voss walks back to the fucking turntables.
And, of course, Rich is pushing buttons and the fucking music is still going.
And Sypha's just looking back like, what the fuck?
And he keeps pushing the buttons and the music keeps playing.
And then Sypha's finally like, it's the big silver button.
You know, Voss is like almost fucking 90.
He can't see it.
And he just starts, Sypha just starts shitting on him.
And the crowd's laughing.
He finally gets the fucking music off.
When they brought Keith Robinson out,
you know, Keith has had two strokes and he has the cane
and it takes him a second to get there.
So Sypha was playing Walk This Way by Aerosmith.
And when that ended, on my suggestion,
he then played the Jeopardy.
And the crowd is looking like, what the fuck are they doing?
And we were just all laughing.
I told him to play him off to the fucking Hulk music.
You know, the end, if you're old, you know,
when David Banner would have to leave another town
because he got angry and green and beat the fuck out of everybody.
And he'd have to go hitchhike away.
And they used to play this sad fucking piano music.
But I don't know.
Rich was talking, so he didn't get a chance to do that.
So Norton went up and did like fucking eight minutes on the Queen Dian that had
me fucking rolling.
And then, then Dice went out.
That's right. Dice went out before I tell.
Dice goes out and it's like, this is the legend.
This is the fucking king.
Crowd fucking loses it.
He fucking goes out there.
The leather vest on, the Brooklyn fucking, you know, tank top.
It's fucking Dice.
And he goes out there, does not hold back.
Just fucking is full on fucking Dice.
Dice and all I'm thinking is I fucking saw this guy, you know, I saw him in '89
at the Worcester
Centrum and I'm now sharing a stage with this fucking legend.
And just, it was amazing.
And he had this brilliant bit.
I'm not, I can't say what it was about because it gives away the bit.
It was absolutely fucking brilliant.
It's leading you all the way to the left.
And you think it ends this way.
And then, bam, he comes back to the right.
To a big fucking laugh.
He was amazing, amazing.
And then Dave Attell goes out and it just is fucking Dave Attell.
Another king, you know, he goes out, he fucking kills.
And, um, uh, wait, Moe went on.
When the fuck did he go on?
He went on.
No, Moe went on before Keith.
That's right.
He came straight from a writer's room.
This is how much people love Patrice.
He came straight from a writer's room.
You know, Dave Attell and Dice just dropped in.
And then Ricky Velez had to follow them.
He walked out there like it was nothing.
Absolutely killed.
I already respected him.
You know, I worked with him on King of Staten Island.
And, uh, we did a stand-up show for Pete Davidson.
Firefighter thing in Staten Island.
And I remember seeing him that late.
I was like, man, he's fucking good.
And he's gone to a whole other level.
And, uh, and then what happened?
And then Jon Stewart, who I knew was coming down, he showed up and he went out
there just
fucking, you know, he went out there spitting flames.
Like the passion of like a fucking 23-year-old comedian.
It was funny.
He was the only guy who got heckled.
He pissed off some woman in the crowd.
It was fucking hilarious.
Um, cause she got, you know, upset about something.
And the second she yelled out, the whole crowd just went, ah, I was like, it
was such a good
night.
Now what the fuck?
Right?
So, and, um, and then I had to go out in the end.
I swear to God, I think I wore out my fucking shoes, pacing back and forth,
trying to wonder
how, wondering how I was going to follow all of these people.
So, uh, fortunately for whatever reason, Cypher brought me out to this fucking,
that stupid
Irish music, like I was a fucking leprechaun.
So I started trashing him.
I thought he was Latino.
Evidently he's Filipino.
So I didn't even make sense what I was saying to him.
Um, but nobody knew, you know, cause most of the crowd was white and they're
like me and
they're looking at him.
He's kind of tan.
I give it, he must be Latino.
So anyway, um, and all we did was just fucking break each other's balls.
Like Rich Foss brought up Keith Robinson by saying this next guy coming to the
stage is
probably going to be our next benefit.
Um, and then, you know, Jim and Rich, like give each other a dirty look.
They've refused to shake hands.
It was fucking great.
It was just a perfect mix of Patrice's friends, comics that Patrice was, you
know,
looking up to when he started and young comics that loved Patrice and were
influenced by him.
So just when the night couldn't get any better, we end the show, do the curtain
call.
Everybody comes walking out and dumbass Rich Foss.
You can just fucking count on him to do something stupid.
Comes through in the clutch where he has Maureen Taron, who puts the whole
thing together,
by the way, um, has her phone.
And he says to the crowd, he goes, because, um, Patrice's mom couldn't make it
because
her arthritis was acting up in her knees.
So she couldn't make it this year.
So he goes, Hey, he goes, we're all going to say hello to Patrice's mom.
He goes on the count of three.
He goes, everybody say, hi, Georgine.
I'm thinking, Georgine, like her name is Georgia.
And like for half a, as I'm doing the math, I'm thinking, wait a second.
Is, is Georgine the real name?
Like, you know, Bill and William.
And as I'm thinking that the crowd goes, hi, Georgine.
And then I just take the mic.
I'm like, dude, her name is Georgia.
You fucking idiot.
And the whole crowd loses it.
And I just start trashing Voss for being stupid.
We got a video with the whole thing.
I, um, uh, I think I'm going to post it.
If I can figure out how to do it.
Um, I'll have Andrew do it.
Um, crowd died laughing.
And here's the greatest thing.
We sent Georgia that video of him saying her name wrong.
And she died laughing.
She thought it was the funniest thing ever, which of course is like, you know,
such like a Patrice thing or whatever.
And I love talking to her.
And when I do talk to her, I always, cause you know, we all love her,
but it's also, you know, most of us know her name.
But like when I talk to her, I hear like Patrice's cadence and I hear,
you know, elements of him in her, of course, cause it's his mom.
So, um, she was definitely missed that she couldn't be there, but, uh,
the night was amazing.
Then afterwards the stand as always comes through their own pocket.
They feed everybody, give people drinks and all of that type of stuff.
And, uh, I got to hang out with everybody was hanging out,
you know, you know, talking to Dyson.
He was telling me all of these fucking amazing stories about, you know,
throughout his career and all that type of stuff.
And, uh, you know, what's funny is, um, Eleanor used, you know,
came from a big Philly family.
And she told me a long time ago that she used to have to finish one of her
little brother's fights.
And, uh, she had one of her brothers there and she kept calling him my stupid
brother the whole night, just calling.
She said, Hey, can you take a picture, uh, with my stupid brother's girlfriend?
Like, like she couldn't say brother.
She always said stupid and I'm dying laughing.
And I say to him, I go, I go, are you the one she had to finish
the fights for?
And they both in unison at the same time said, no, that was Billy.
And I was thinking like, Oh my God, it's fucking true.
Um, so anyway, it was just, it was a great night.
It was a great night.
We all fucking hung out and, uh, I left at the perfect time.
Cause I had to do Jim and Sam this morning.
It was so great to, you know, hang out with those guys.
I had a really good time.
As you can tell, I'm also tired because I'm fucking old.
Um, you know, and with that, you know, another year,
the year goes by, um, I've been walking around New York,
trying to get exercise that way.
Uh, you know, I brought these stupid ass fucking boots with me.
Cause stupid club soda.
Kenny told me it was, he scared the shit out of me.
He, he sent me this text before I went to Ottawa.
And he, and he told me like, it was like fucking, you know,
I don't know.
I'm an idiot.
I read it like it was, it was freezing out
and it was going to be snowing out.
So I got these giant, stupid,
boots that I bought when I did a gig in Iceland.
And they're fucking amazing boots when it's freezing