Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-13-23
Uploaded: 2023-07-13T23:56:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-13-23' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-13-23' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-13. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 7-13-23

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon,
just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on you.
The double point. The double point. What does that mean? What does that mean?
Does it mean I just had too much coffee and I'm overly excited, or does it mean
I have a special guest?
If you said all of the above, you would be right. I just had a double espresso,
one of the best flat whites I've ever had.
And my guest, this Thursday afternoon, is one of my favorite stand-up comedians.
I don't know if I've ever told you that.
I just think you're, before you fucking start talking with your Midwest, aw shucks,
horseshit from Wisconsin, we got Nate Craig, who has a new special out called
Live at the Green Mill.
Gorgeously shot special. Top-notch material. You can watch it for free on
youtube.com slash ATC.
Please welcome Nate Craig, everybody. Nate Craig, double point.
Bam!
That's what it's all about.
Also caffeinated.
Also caffeinated. Where'd you go?
Man, I was at my house. I made me a...
Man, I didn't even get out of the fucking house.
Man, I'm the only guy I ever met. I'm the only guy I ever met. Got my own
coffee bean.
Oh, that's right. That's right. We did a gig a long time ago, and we were just
on the road, middle of nowhere.
Some airport somewhere.
Yeah, and we just started doing this redneck character that was just talking
shit.
It was some dude in the airport that I think I flew, and when we both landed, I
was like, get this guy.
It was just burned into my head. I'm going to go, only guy I ever met.
I'm the only guy I ever met with anything.
I'm the only guy I ever met. Had a bass boat that went through two counties.
Just telling fairy tales about himself.
He was the only guy I ever met.
I'm the only guy I ever met.
I'll let you know when I meet another one that's equal to my stature.
I love...
Who did I see recently when I just saw someone was, like, talking shit just
over nothing?
That's when it's funny to me.
You know, if you actually really do something great, just shut up.
Why would you talk shit about it?
That makes it even better.
Like when Barry Sanders would just break everybody's ankle in the secondary,
sorry, Packers fan, score a touchdown, and then just hand the ball to the ref
like, you know, his wife told him to get milk and eggs.
Oh, here you go, honey.
Just that easy.
But if you sit there, I feel like, and you know, and you tug on your jersey and
you do that 300 yell...
For an almost first down.
Well, then you're also...
Yeah, but you're also pissing off the defense, and they're going to, you know,
get a little bee in their bonnet.
They're going to try a little harder.
But when you act like it isn't shit, I feel it's demoralizing.
Well, so they know more is coming.
No offense taken, dude.
Watching Barry Sanders run through the Packers was...
That was some of the most fun.
Him and Randy Moss.
Those are my two...
Dude, he destroyed the Patriots so bad.
Like, we never play them.
They're in the NFC.
We play them once every three years in his career.
He fucked us so bad that it's part of his permanent highlight reel.
We have a corner where he faked them out so bad.
He was running in the same direction as Barry.
He looks over this shoulder.
Barry goes over there, looks over that shoulder.
He went, like, right by him.
It was like an F1 pass where the guy's trying to block.
It was just...
It was useless.
Yeah, those are the best.
That's the easiest, greatest of all time argument in my mind.
What's that?
Running back.
Barry Sanders.
Barry Sanders.
There's nobody like Barry Sanders.
Barry Sanders played on dogshit teams for 10 years.
Yes.
Eight straight 2,000 yard season or something like that.
Couldn't take it anymore.
It was just like...
Played 10 years, rushed for 15,000 and change, and just decided, you know, to
walk away,
which was the smart move.
Now you're seeing with, like, CTE.
And I was talking to somebody about that.
Like, the all-time rushing record by Emmitt Smith is one of the safest records.
Like, no one's ever going to touch that.
Nobody's doing that.
You just don't get the carries anymore.
Nobody's doing that.
Yeah.
They turned them all into Roger Craig, who was ahead of his time.
Third down backs.
Receiving backs.
Receiving backs on first down.
Possession running backs.
That's right.
You've got to have hands like a wide receiver now.
That's what I'm talking about.
And that's what I always liked about your comedy.
Hands like a wide receiver.
That's a great analogy, Bill.
I'm glad you said that.
No, this...
Like, dude, like I'm telling you, anytime you open for...
People always going, oh, my God, who...
You know, how come I don't know about this guy?
This is a guy you have to know about.
Like, I'm not just blowing smoke, dude.
Your whole style and the level of your comedy is...
I'm not going to do this in 45 minutes if you're going to be, like,
uncomfortable here.
I'm just, like, beyond respect you as a stand-up comedian.
Today, I'll take it.
Okay.
Today, I consider myself the most underrated person with a special...
That's coming...
That is out right now on YouTube.com slash ATC.
Nate Craig, live at the Green Mill.
Two specials.
My second ATC special.
Sorry.
Thank you for having me.
All right.
I'm talking...
We're selling this one.
I know, I know.
Not your other franchise.
I know.
This one's better because, I mean, well, you did it.
So, this is...
We taped it at the Green Mill.
You guys, thank you.
This is awesome.
Who's the director?
Because it's gorgeous.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
My buddy, Hunters Conor Herms is from Madison...
Hunter Conor Herms.
Hunter Conor's Herms is his name.
That sounds like a first-round wide receiver that doesn't pan out.
Anytime a receiver has a hyphenated last name...
He's going to love that.
He already has, like, a fucking torn meniscus that went undiagnosed.
He's incredibly talented.
Him and the director of photography was Jack Whaley.
Both Madison, Wisconsin guys.
Came down.
All business.
Just like Aaron Rodgers.
Well, we got the Green Mill.
Did I ever tell you the special about how we got the event?
Because nobody's ever shot there before.
If you haven't been to the Green Mill, it's incredible.
It's a famous jazz club in Chicago.
It's founded in 1907.
And it's Capone's old spot.
He used to escape from people trying to murder him through the tunnel on the
stage.
Dude, every fucking place in fucking Chicago was Capone's old spot.
Yes.
Anything in Kansas City.
I was in Buffalo one day.
Yeah, Capone used to have this place.
Oh, when we were in Peoria, right?
He used to come down to Peoria and that...
Kansas City, Peoria in Buffalo.
Yeah.
I played an old supper club.
And they were like, this is one of Capone's joints.
And you see, they got the escape fucking tunnels.
They had them down there, too.
And they were all like bricked up.
That was in his rider.
That guy's real estate portfolio.
If he had just paid taxes on it and worn a condom.
He had to dig tunnels.
Yeah, he did.
Don't you want a vault?
No, no, no.
No, I don't.
So, but this one's real.
Bullet holes in the wall.
The whole nine.
I mean, it's incredible.
So, we got to shoot there.
You know, I had ATC call him.
And I think he thought, he's just like a, like, no email kind of guy.
Like, he's just like, and I think he thought he was talking, you know, because
movies shoot
there.
Like, James Caan, Thief, that was shot there.
Like, was that shot there?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just watched that movie two months ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so, like, he's used to big things trying to get a hold of him.
And nobody's ever shot a special there.
So, I gave it to ATC.
I think he thought he was talking to, like, a network.
Like, a big, you know, big money.
And he was Hollywood type shit.
As opposed to, like, you know, what this.
Jerk offs.
Like us.
What this.
I get it.
I see what you're saying.
Nick, Greg, everybody.
Well, I mean, in this day and age, when, you know, the Writers Guild is
striking for
all the right reasons, we got to make the distinction between ATC and your behemoths.
Your corporate owned behemoths.
And he thought he was talking to one of those.
And he, so he gave some, you know, ridiculous price.
And Mike comes back to me, like, it's too much.
And I was like, all right, well, that's not a no.
But I had gotten his phone number.
So, I called him myself.
I was like, hey, man, I just want to let you know.
Nate, Greg, not afraid to walk up to the pretty girl in the bar.
Okay, so you go back.
Not afraid to cross the line.
And they got this show on Saturday, which is one of the best shows in America.
Paper Machete, it's called.
Saturday Afternoon Show.
Standing Room Only in Chicago.
These people come out for this.
Paper Machete.
Yeah, it's a live magazine.
It's almost paper mache.
And so, I call him and I was like, hey, man, I just want to let you know.
You know, I'm doing this special with Bill Burr's company.
And shooting at your spot would be a dream come true.
But if nothing more, I just want to let you know, you got a great show there on
Saturdays.
The producers are doing a great job.
Your bar is the best.
I've always loved it.
And he goes, yeah, you know, I'm going to book through the middle of next year.
You know, I just can't give you guys a weekend.
You know, I just can't do that.
You know, I got to cancel my accident this night.
And I'm like, yeah, no, no, I get it.
I get it.
It's just, I'm shooting this special and I'm going to find a place.
But I just want to let you know, sorry for bothering you.
I want to say how much I respect you and your place.
Oh, you're the guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, I would be.
It's shooting my special.
Oh, you're the guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just my special.
Oh, well, you know, I can give you an off night or something like that.
I just can't cancel my other acts, you know.
I could give you like a Wednesday or a Sunday.
I was like, can you give me Wednesday, June 1st?
He says, I don't see why not.
Done deal.
Came down from the number he had given us, 90%.
And just gave it to me.
Because I was some schmuck.
No, you weren't.
Crossed the line and called him on his cell phone.
No, no, no, no.
Woke him up from his nap.
Wisconsin, wholesome.
Like, you know what his big move is when we go out on the road together
and we're in the Midwest, I always say to him, wait, wait, you know.
You got to sniff it out.
Way around here is there a good milkshake.
You got to sniff it out.
No, no.
Am I saying it right?
Malt.
Malt.
Or a milkshake.
No, no, malt.
Malt.
It's got to be malted milk because they don't do that on the East Coast.
Well, also custard.
In Wisconsin, it's that extra.
It's custard.
I don't know about it.
I'm not a custard guy.
You got to put eggs in it.
No, no, no.
It's just.
You just got to go full heart attack.
You got to go full-blown cardiac arrest, buddy.
I got to be honest with you.
I've been doing this thing.
And, yes, I have lost some weight.
Thank you for not noticing.
You're streamlined, Bill.
I'm not going to bullshit you.
You're ready for the Olympics.
Before you do this, before we get off milkshakes,
the first time I ever worked with you, do you remember this?
It was the week your roof caved in.
And we had, I mean, we knew each other.
We weren't quite friends yet.
And we were driving from Madison to Milwaukee.
And your roof caved in.
And you're calling your contractor.
I'm trying to.
You're calling your wife.
And you were furious.
And, like, I mean, you threw your phone across the car.
I went Ryan Leaf.
Dude, you went Ryan Leaf versus a beat reporter.
And I'm like, I just.
Because my house was literally collapsing.
Washing down the mountain.
And nobody that was home in the house knew what to do.
Yeah.
And I'm like, go up the fucking ladder.
Fucking do something.
Like, put a fucking bucket in.
Over the hole.
Something.
And they're all like, well, I mean, it's just.
The water's wet.
And it's going to get on the ladder.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was bad.
The water was wet.
Th