Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-24-23 w. JOSH HOMME | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2023-08-25T01:19:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-24-23 w. JOSH HOMME | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-24-23 w. JOSH HOMME | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-25. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-24-23 w. JOSH HOMME | Bill Burr

What's going on?
It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon,
just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.
And as always, I'm just checking in on you,
seeing how your life's going.
And we already did the two-shot.
We have an amazing guest here,
one of my favorite people and musicians and bands,
Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age,
who says do not promote his album, but I'm going to,
because I love this album, In Time's New Roman.
I think that's almost like how dyslexic I would read that.
I'm like, is that how it is?
No, it's In Time's New Roman.
And I've been listening to this thing.
I don't know if you noticed, but I'm back in the gym.
I don't know if you noticed a little more.
You're looking really hot.
I only have a double cheeseburger left here.
I got rid of the Wendy's triple.
We're working our way down.
The other night at dinner, you were looking really trim.
I was like, who is this hot guy?
And I was like, that's Bill.
You were like, am I looking in a mirror?
And I aged 40 years?
Oh, wait.
That's that gentleman named Bill.
But this album, I'm just going to get past the compliments.
And then you can get comfortable.
Yeah, it's going to make me uncomfortable anyways.
All right.
So I'll do it to you if you do it to me.
So watch what's up.
I'll fucking take that bet.
I'm vain.
I'll hear it.
It's one of those albums.
I listened to it, right?
The first time, it was like two songs that really grabbed me.
And then I was like, I don't think I'm smart enough for this album.
And then three of them in, I'm like, this fucking album's unbelievable.
And now it's just playing on a loop on the elliptical, into the car.
And it just keeps going.
And you guys are really one of the most unique.
Nobody sounds like you guys.
And then every time I think I know what your sound is, you come up with a new
album.
And you change it a little bit.
And then I got to try to catch up to where you're at.
Ideally, someone hears you, and within a few seconds, they know it's you, even
though there's that change there.
And I appreciate you saying that.
And it's supposed to be a 50th listen thing.
Because there's some things you hear them a few times, and you're like, I got
it, and I'm good.
If you love it the first time, you're going to hate it by the third time.
Right.
It's sort of going to run its core.
It's going to be like Fruit Stripe, that gum where you're like, first four
pumps of that is fucking amazing.
It is.
You're like, this is the greatest gum I've ever had.
But within 47 seconds, you're like, what the fuck happened?
I have bad breath again.
Like, what the fuck happened to this?
Again.
And so, ideally, it's there, much like that submersible, it goes really deep.
No, just everything about it.
And then it crushes itself.
Oh, I missed that.
Oh, yeah.
I was big on that story.
Did I do that bit the night you came out?
You actually did a great bit that night.
Yes.
I hate that there's...
Or is that...
That was just...
Because you did a bunch of off the cuff...
That was one of those ones that just came out.
I kind of liked the idea of these billionaires going down to look at, you know,
what should have been dead billionaires, but they got off.
Yeah, they were first.
So looking like...
Women and children third.
Yeah.
Who would have worked for me 120 years ago?
They went down to look at that, and then they end up, like, dying.
And then I also found...
I also loved how everybody, you know, on social media, because it is such a me
thing, made the story about themselves and what they would have done and how
they never would have got on the thing and all of that type of stuff.
And then, you know, there was some race thing there where this is, like, white
people problems.
It was a lot to sort of pick through.
Well, and then there was also, like, you know, your armchair engineers that
were like, the carbon fiber that was, you know, where people are, like, critiquing
the build.
I still don't get the weight of water on you.
It's like, I'm in it, man.
I'm part of it.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I get if a safe is on me, but there's something that it's a liquid
that it also has weight.
That the lower you go, the pressure of the...
Yeah.
And it took me forever to understand air pressure in air.
But now, like, water, it's just like, wait.
So, like, all that...
Air pressure in air as it pertains to, like, flying choppers and shit?
Yes.
Took me a while to figure that out.
Wait, what is the wind?
What happens in a heavy wind with a chopper?
That seems...
I'm terrified by going diagonal and down.
Well, it depends on...
Like, what are you thinking when you hit a high wind and you're like, ah!
I mean, does that turn from joystick to, like, no joystick?
Well, I've only had experienced severe turbulence a couple of times, and we
just landed.
And your thoughts were...
We need to land.
Because, well, we were in...
What we were in was a light helicopter, and then it was just a two-bladed,
underslung system,
so you could have, like, a mass bump.
So, what you're supposed to do when that happens is you slow down.
Right.
If you're flying 90 knots, you go down to, like, 60.
You slow down, and then you decide from...
You kind of let the wind do what it wants to.
You don't fight it.
Yeah.
But...
You don't try to correct into it and...
You don't fight.
You don't fight.
And what about things like, you know, you're on a plane, you hit a pocket where
you drop
when the pressure changes.
In a helicopter, that's...
See, that's like...
That's where I would be like, this is where I shit my pants, right?
Or is this where I shit in your pants?
Because I'm...
No, it's so...
It's all, like...
What you have to understand is that the rotor blades are shaped just like wings.
It's the same shape, and it's the same principle.
It's just the engine makes them, you know, is making them move where the plane,
it's stationary.
That's why you need all that forward movement to maintain lift, and that's why
we can hover.
Right.
But when do I shit my pants?
That's the...
Oh, the whole time.
Anytime you're in a light aircraft, you are shitting your pants.
Yeah.
You're like, oh, that's just coming off the mountains.
That's totally normal.
Yeah, there's, like, a lot of cross rubbing and, like, a little bit of...
No, no.
You know what I have?
I have this app that's called Windy, and you click on Windy, and then you just...
It just sort of shows you...
Everyone knows it's windy.
Yeah.
Everybody knows it's windy, and there's just a certain amount of...
It's not even not...
What it really is is gusting.
That's what's scary.
Where it's, like, eight knots, gusting to 25.
Yeah, the unexpected gusts.
Yes.
So that's...
Of life.
When it can get scary.
But I fly a fully articulated main rotor system, so I don't have to worry about
mass bumps
and low-G pushovers.
However, it is a light aircraft.
I fly when it's nice out.
That makes total sense to me.
Right.
I fly when it's nice out.
Right.
You do Sunday flying.
One of the things that I do, as I'm trying to do, is not talk to people who don't
fly about
aviation, because I'll...
You ride a motorcycle.
Yes.
Is there anything better than talking to somebody who also rides?
Yes.
Oh, so you're talking about the flying gap.
So what happens is...
So this...
It's not fun.
No, people...
All they do is talk about you dying.
That's all they have to bring to the conversation.
It's just like, oh, you know...
My cousin, hey, he lost a leg.
Everybody says, it's not a matter if, it's a matter of when.
Might as well buy a coffin with that fucking thing.
And it's just like, they do the same thing.
True.
So that's all I can...
Because it is...
I'm already bringing the shit in your pants thing to the table, because it's
all I have
to give in regards to that.
I love that about you.
But you'll also ride a motorcycle in Los Angeles when everyone's on some sort
of legalized
weed, looking at their phone.
Totally.
And going over the double line.
And I love the focus of it, because you might die.
I love that I don't...
Some people have, like, headphones where they're like, Susie, should we stop
and get something?
You know, they're talking to their significant other on the back of the...
Not me.
Or they're listening to music.
Not me.
I'm just...
Right.
You know...
Now, are you of the philosophy that if you're the one going the fastest, you
only have to
worry about what's in front of you?
That's exactly right.
That's what people do.
You also got the bigger bike with the bags.
And I feel like...
Well, I have a couple.
And there's a couple lanes splitting.
But it is important to get to the front so people don't have to notice you.
So, at any...
You know, getting faster.
And also, you have to learn to throttle through trouble, which is a really
scary notion.
There's some pants shitting there, too.
I am the biggest not-owning-a-motorcycle-guy-motorcycle-guy you're ever going
to meet.
And I...
Oh, you mean you like the idea, but it's just too...
No, I had one for, like...
I always tell the story.
I had one, like, six weeks, and I had a Triumph Bonneville, and I loved it.
And all I wanted to do was go from sunset, take it all the way out to the beach.
Just...
That was my first ride that I wanted to do.
And, you know, somebody came over the double line when I was in a turn, and I
had to come
up, you know, just for a split second.
But it felt like I was going to go right into the fucking trees or lose my head.
And then when I finally stopped to get gas, like a half hour later, I got off,
and I noticed
I was sort of shaking.
And I was like, is that from the vibration of the engine?
And it was just like, oh, no.
It's because I thought I was going to die.
So then I did something I never do, is I prayed to God.
And I said, yes, if you let me get this thing back to Dean's Garage, I will
never ride it
again.
And I never did.
But recently, in April, I went to the MotoGP race at CODA, Circuit of the
Americas in Austin.
And we were talking about going to the Isle of Man to do the TT, to check out
the TT.
And I was even suggesting we get a chopper that we could hover over the race
somehow.
Like, add the skills of being a fan and your skill set, you know?
Yeah, that would be...
Like, follow the bikes, because they go by so fast.
And, you know, there's sheeps in the road, literally.
Is it sheep or sheeps?
Well, I think there's probably more than one.
No, I don't know.
It's sheep, of course.
It's sheep.
But it sounds cute to say sheeps.
I had an ideal childhood, you know?
I grew up on a farm with a bunch of sheeps.
No, but they do say...
No, they say count sheep, not counting sheeps.
One of my thing is, though...
Well, not in my house.
My thing is...
My favorite thing is people not only fucking up sayings, but combining them.
Oh, my...
This is...
Like, you're not the smart...
He's not the smartest...
He's not the smartest tool in the shed.
Yeah.
He's the latest one I had.
It's not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Right.
Or what someone says, it's not rocket surgery.
They said that?
Yeah, it isn't rocket surgery.
Yeah, I write them down.
You want to hear a few?
Yeah, let's do it.
Okay, let's do this for you and for some of the listeners here.
Where are they?
Now, if I actually had some sort of production value, this would have been
ready to go...
In the interim, while you're doing this, I got to tell...
My mom does this all the time, and so she...
Yeah, this is just totally lost to me.
Okay, here we go.
Give me one, and then I'll tell you about the mom's story.
They should know each other like clockwork.
You are a piece of dirt that I wouldn't piss on if you were on fire.
He's not the brightest bulb to come down the pipe.
No shit, Captain Obvious.
That's another one.
Worth the trade offer.
Yeah.
Feudal attempt versus feudal.
Feudal like feud?
All right, one last one.
Swears...
Instead of futile?
Swears like a fish.
Well, my mom has this problem where she just naturally combines them.
Right.
And so she said to my dad the other day, you don't have 