Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-31-23 w. DAN SODER | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2023-08-31T14:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-31-23 w. DAN SODER | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-31-23 w. DAN SODER | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-31. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 8-31-23 w. DAN SODER | Bill Burr

All right. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday
afternoon,
just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And this is being filmed. So
obviously,
I have a special guest. I don't bring any weak cupcake fucking what's the deal
with that people
on. I only bring people on that I respect and I love. And this guy is no
different from I can't
even say. You left that on the podcast, right? From the East Coast. He had a
project that he was
going to promote, but you cannot promote it because of the strike. Because we
are union strong,
Bill. That's right. We're union men. You need to be. Dan Soder, everybody. Come
on.
Dude, thank you so much for having me. I like being part of a union. It is
great. Because you
know why? Because you and I are similar in the fact that we feel guilty making
money from being
silly. We both have that. No, I just, I feel like if you don't have a union, we
go back to the 1800s
industrial revolution where they'll have children, which is what they're
getting. They're getting
close. No, but they already did that. They just, they just went around the
unions by leaving the
country. Yeah. By leaving the country. And then they just did the shit that
they were doing in the
1800s. And we don't do, yeah. They drew up an old playbook and they were like,
we can take this
right to Mexico. Oh, it's so, dude, it's so fucking evil. Yeah. It's so evil.
And
then they pay off the politicians so they don't say anything. Like if you take
an American company
out of America and fuck all those Americans out of jobs, like you should be
paying such
ridiculous taxes that it's not worth your time. They just don't want to pay
anybody, which
is why the robots are coming. It is. It's why. And it's why they could have,
they could have
brought jobs back and made Ohio and Michigan and all those people happy. But
instead they're
like, no, let's just feed them 24 hour news and get them real riled up. Yeah.
And then
now they're just going to hate it. Now everyone will hate everybody and we can
just keep making
our money. I know. But everybody seems to know that yet. They still like, you
know, it's been,
I've been, I've been going on and on and on and on and on about is how
everything just gets like
politicized. Like this is stupid fucking post that keeps coming up my feet.
Cause I like,
I look at cars and shit on the internet and it says, um, it said, it shows like
some, you know,
killer, you know, muscle cars. And it's just before all this electric car
bullshit, we had muscle
cars. It's like, no, we didn't muscle cars and everything. Catalytic converter,
the fucking gas
crisis, 73, all of that shit was gone. They ignored the Mustang two, the Dodge
Opel, the Ford Fiesta,
the Ford Escort, the Chevy Chevette, the Dodge K cars, all of those shit cars
that got,
they set 60,000 miles. They were designed to fucking shit the bed. The speedometer
went up
to 85 miles an hour. What the fuck are you talking about? There was the IROC Z,
the Firebird and the
Grand National, as far as American cars that I can think off the top of my head
that actually had
balls. Everything else was just, they neutered it. They neutered it. You know
what it is? It's the same
thought when they do that with muscle cars where they're like, Oh, what America
used to be with
muscle cars. It's the same way when you talk to your friends that are, you know,
we're old now,
where they're like, if I was in high school right now, I'd get so much pussy.
Everything would go
good. No, you wouldn't. You go right back to that. And you'd be like, I have
homework. I have all this
shit. I don't like this. I'm insecure. I got the seniors that I'm scared of.
They're also acting like
we're not in this simultaneously with electric cars that we're not in this
ridiculous age of
horsepower. You can buy a fucking Hellcat. You can buy these AMGs, fucking BMW
M's, those Audis.
I mean, there's, there's so much power. Also, we're in 2023 right now. We
should be having
fucking jetpacks. The power should be, the power should be in space suits and
hoverboards.
No, we shouldn't. You don't think so at all? You don't, the way people drive,
you want that over
your house. I want, I want what you've wanted. And I'm such a major fan of
yours that I know. I want
to thin the herd, Bill. So let's get some, let's get some fucking jetpacks. I
think that that's why
they're not concerned about global warming. Me too. Because I feel like
whatever they're going
to do. And I don't buy that if you got the jab, man, the thing that that would
kill you. Why? It's
like, why would they kill the sheep? No, we, we lined up and did what they said.
They want to kill
the others. So that I love a conspiracy, but that makes no sense. Yeah. They're
like, we got you. And
you're like, I don't think you do. I think you want to keep us around. They're
trying to keep the
sheep around. Yeah. Why would you? Yeah. They're going to want to have the ones
that are like
difficult, the people that are bringing up the difficult problems. Yeah. I
think, I think
you're right. I think they're just going to wait for the, the, the world to
cook most of
the people they want gone. And then they'll be like, by the way, they're going
to ride it
out. Do you think they have the technology? Now here's the real theory. Do you
think they're
going to wait for a large amount of people to die and then go like, by the way,
we can
clean up the amount of carbon dioxide and, and we can, we can cool the ocean. I
have
no idea. I don't know if it's just completely sociopath. Well, I'll be dead
before this happens.
Let somebody else like, I just think that it is so corrupt and so out of
control. It's
like, you know, it's like that ball in Indiana Jones. You can't just go, I'll
stop right there.
It rolls over you. So, um, I'm excited to see what it's going to look like in
the next 20
to 30 years of how they're going to divide it up and be like fight. You know,
is it
going to be the scene from dark night where they break the stick and they go
like, I'm
hiring one person? Oh, I didn't see that movie, but I, that sounds pretty scary.
You just
break a stick and there's hiring one person. You know, the guy that walks out
of this room
gets to live. Yeah. I just, I don't have that competitive side of me. All right,
good.
Just fucking stab me. I don't care. I mean, I had a good time. I mean, my, my
fiance and
I are both agree. I mean, what are you winning at that point? Nothing. I want
to be in the
blast radius working for those fucking people. I want to be, I want to be the
people in Terminator
that, you know, when she's holding onto the fence and she turns into dust. That's
me.
That's why I live in New York still. Oh, if they drop that bomb, I'm just going
to hold
my fiance's hand, like at the end of fight club and watch all the buildings. I'm
not going
to fight for survival. New York fucking drives me up the wall where everybody
thinks it's so
fucking badass. It's not badass. It isn't. It's a bus stop. Did you see that?
There was
another Instagram thing. Like I've been, I got back. I was reading. I was off
Instagram.
Instagram drives me up the wall. Yeah, it does. It's designed to do that. This
New York guy,
like New Yorkers are the worst traveled people ever. They go to every city.
They're like,
where are all the fucking buildings? Right? So this guy gets a bacon, egg and
cheese sandwich.
I don't know where the fuck the guy went. The egg was shaped like a fucking
hockey puck.
And it's all like, eh, try this in New York. They'd be like, yeah, fuck. And it's
like,
no. No one would. They do that in New York. Yeah. There's shit sandwiches and
there's
shit pizza. And people go, don't go there. That place sucks. You want to go
over here.
Yeah. We don't fight you for it. You know, if that fucking idiot had asked
somebody where
to go, dude, it looked like an egg McMuffin. Like I've lived in Boston for 27
years. I never
saw bacon, egg and cheese look like that. And he's all the whole fuck. That's
the whole
attitude where they go like, not here. I remember this girl, dude, they just
have too many songs
that are blowing them. That's it. Like that Alicia Keys song, New York concrete
jungle where
dreams and the people are all just, cause they can't, you know what? They
should do that song
on their head with their dumb hat to the side. Like they're winning. You're
living in a shoebox
for like fucking three grand a month. That song should have been Des Moines,
affordable house
that you can have a backyard. Cause everything else sucks. My favorite term I've
ever heard
making fun of New Yorkers is Joe List once called Sam Murrell, a city hick. He
goes, he's
a city hick. The way that hicks don't know how to be in big cities. He doesn't
know how
to be out in rural America. They don't know how to do anything outside of New
York.
They're not like, I want to go get a sandwich at three in the morning. It's
like, well,
you can't. I've never understood like, it's like the whole purpose of traveling
is to experience
something differently. And New Yorkers are like, I came there and it wasn't
exactly like where
I left. What the fuck? I dated this girl whose parents were from the Bronx
years ago and she
couldn't understand that being from Colorado meant that I was from a place that
had schools and roads
and hospitals. She would always be like, do they have that in Colorado? It's
like you burrow
trash. Of course they do. 100%. And let me ask you, what has she ever achieved?
Nothing. She was, I'm surprised. Other than being born with, another thing too
is the success
of New York really for the most part is other people moving there. That's the
whole reason
the city's great. It's because we went there. It's because we went there. It's
not because you,
you were George Steinbrenner was from Cleveland, Ohio. You fell out of a pussy
in New York. You're
not special. A guy from Cleveland, Ohio bought the Yankees. I love it. I love
it. Cause that
feeling of they're like, well, you're not in a real New Yorker. Well, if you,
if by the way,
Frank Sinatra was bridging tunnel. Hoboken. He's a fucking Jersey. He's Jersey
trash.
As someone to just move from Hoboken, we were living there and there was this
restaurant that
they were like, this was Frank Sinatra's favorite restaurant. Well, it sucks
ass. We got the noodles
and it sucks. I feel bad for Frank. Every fucking place. Let's like that place,
that, that fucking pizza place up in Connecticut. Yeah. Oh, Frank Pepe's. When
they go, when Frank
used to play MSG, he would order his fucking pizza from Connecticut. From Hartford.
And you would drive
it an hour and a half down to him and he'd be like, Oh, what a room temperature
slice.
Dude, my favorite thing in the world is watching whenever Joe Piscopo talks
about playing Frank
Sinatra on SNL, he does this like romantic bullshit thing where he's like, you
know, I'd walk in the
room and I'd say, Frank wouldn't say that. And then I saw in an interview, they
brought Phil Hartman's,
which is the funniest Frank Sinatra. And he goes, yeah, I didn't like that.
They made Frank mean.
You go, Frank was mean. He was friends with the mafia. You can't be nice and be
friends with the mafia.
You're going to be a fucking prick. And he's like, and dude, I love that. I
love that whole idea of like,
Frank wouldn't do that. You're like, Frank was an old racist just because he
let Sammy
Davis Jr. stand.
Come on, man. He was white Michael Jackson for a whole fucking generation. He
can do no wrong
for them.
It's my favorite. Bringing that up, that Frank Sinatra was definitely a racist
is fun. And
my second favorite thing is bringing up the fact that Elvis was a racist.
Was he a racist or was he normal for when he was born? Because that's because
that's the
thing I make fun of people that look at older white guys and they can you
believe what
they're saying? It's like, yeah, when were they born?
Like what you should see as a white person is yourself. If you were born in
1938