Name: Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-9-23 | Bill Burr
Uploaded: 2023-11-09T23:41:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-9-23 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-9-23 | Bill Burr' from Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-09. Transcript available.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 11-9-23 | Bill Burr

hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon
just before friday
monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you oh yeah oh billy freckles
is out on the road
here getting ready to do madison square garden um where the hell am i am in atlanta
hotlanta as the kids call it party city whatever the they do down here it's for
young people
i stay in the hotel room that's my deal um i did go for a little walk around
town
i took a little stroll you know how it is down here in the south man you get
out there in that weather
you know i'm working here with uh dean he's going dude this weather is perfect
and i'm like well
fucking enjoy it dude this is the calm before the fucking global warming storm
we're sitting in this
barbecue joint and the guys up on the tv doing the weather the map is all
yellow orange and red
it's like it's november it's november but what are you gonna do what are you
gonna do sociopaths run the
world and you have to pick a side you got to pick which sociopath you're going
with
um that's how the game works because they control the game speaking of sociopaths
i finally read up on
a little bit on uh donald trump and uh joe biden jr there hunter gonna give him
a strong name hunter
and uh it's hilarious they're just they're literally getting busted for
that everybody does kind of like the university of michigan like i don't
understand this whole
where everybody's like michigan was stealing signs it's like everybody's
stealing signs
that's why when you watch the game they disguise the sign they put the clipboard
up over their face
they i've said this for years they're holding a sign up there's like a cupcake
on there a picture of a dog
and then like fucking you know fonzie from happy days why do you think they're
doing that because
people are trying to steal signs and it's a skill if you don't put the right
fucking tv star up there
and they can't figure you know and they figure out what it is i mean that's on
you i love how the act
they were stealing signs so then they're acting like they knew exactly what the
opponent was doing
every single play every single game it's so fucking stupid so basically what
happened is michigan pissed
somebody off the way donald trump pissed somebody off that's basically what it
is it's all fucking good
until you piss somebody off and then they hold you to the air quote rules
so old donnie boy the fucking da's coming the doj is coming they're fucking
going after this guy because
he falsified the value i guess of his assets to get favorable loans and
insurance and it's not like
he was off by a couple of million they are alleging at one point he had a golf
course with 27 and a half
million dollars and he had it on his loans or whatever applying for a loan as
being worth upwards of 1.5
billion okay you do that according to them and then you sign the piece of paper
you're guilty of fraud okay i'll go with that but what about the banks what
about the insurance companies
aren't they supposed to check that out you're telling me i could go to a bank
and have some
shithole house and be like yeah it's worth a trillion dollars i'd like a half a
trillion dollar loan okay
there's everything on this document true yes yes it is okay i've done my due
diligence as a banker
um yeah it's the greedy bankers and the greedy insurance companies they
basically
they knew what the he was doing like they all do it and they went along with it
because they
believed in him that he wasn't going to default on his loans and that game is
all well and good until
somebody defaults on the loan i don't know if that's what he did because i
remember him when he
was running for office he was like i took advantage of the uh the bankruptcy
laws nobody's ever done it
better in fact i know more about the bankruptcy laws than anybody all that
bullshit and i remember his
side they were so stupid they were cheering him on it's like guys that's our
money that's our money
he defaulted on the loans do you think the bank's gonna lose money they don't
they take it out of us
he was basically standing there saying i got a bunch of your money and never
paid it back and you guys
paid the tab and people gave him like a standing ovation so then hunter little
coke head over there
you know he took the white house a little literal there
i guess they're saying his dad dad how much money you want to take from syria
he was getting bribes oh
my god what a surprise a political official getting bribes they're set up to be
bribed they're so
fucking grossly underpaid that's how the corporations ruined this country they
weren't making they were
basically for the level that they were at they were getting paid like an nfl
cheerleader to have all of
us yell at them and tell them that they didn't know what the fuck they were
doing they got sick of
getting yelled at so they took the payoffs from the corporations oh billy
making it so simple
he read a couple of articles so bill tell us how the world works i'm gonna oh i'm
gonna so i guess uh
old jojo there if he can remember was taking payoffs from other countries
probably to you know give him
aid or i don't know what the fuck so he could get a house on moth his vineyard
although he's white he's
probably going to nantucket and then he ran through hunter and he was too coked
up to realize he was
getting fucking used and now he's sitting there holding the bag now he's the patsy
is that what's
going on like i think all of that's the same michigan donald trump and hunter biden
that's all the same
fucking story um well not really michigan michigan i think is bullshit and i
don't like ohio state but
even if a house date got busted for like stealing signs i just don't think
stealing signs is a uh i
just don't think you know that's that's how you win a war it's a skill and you
got to try to figure out
what they're doing it's it's it's it's a riddle wrapped up in an enigma with
the fucking steve urkel
sign right if you can figure that out maybe you get an advantage on one or two
plays but that's it
that does it doesn't like i mean i guess if you got the advantage on the very
last play and you are
fucking you know up by one or some shit maybe that would be it i don't fucking
know seems like a whole
bunch of nothing to me but you know what you know what i'm a simple man you
know what i'm saying i put
my pants on one freckled leg at a time and i try not to be involved but i had a
day off in new york
and i'm an old man so i still buy the paper and it's funny i had to go to a
couple of delis like
in new york like they all sold the paper now the newspaper's going away you
know that's bad though
those were like the more wholesome lies that i grew up with used to be in the
newspaper so i like reading
those lies because i can read them in my voice you know as opposed to watching
the 24-hour news networks
where they just sensationalize everything and you know scare the out of you
blame the other side and
then offer no solutions whatsoever there's you know a lot more times they're
not i feel like they're
getting paid by the people that they're uh complaining about maybe to look the
other way i don't know
i tie it all together i tie it together somehow somehow i'll blame this all on
ohio state or alabama
some point some point in this podcast but uh last night uh i was in norfolk
virginia
and i played this place it is the most beautiful of arena one of the most
beautiful arenas in the country
um
you got to be kidding me is that somebody i'm okay thank you
they just won't leave you alone they just won't you know what's overrated a
nice hotel
and you know what else is overrated going out to a nice restaurant because the
entire time they won't
leave you alone you go to a nice restaurant every time you start to have a
conversation
somebody comes over with the water and you gotta be like i know i'm good or oh
hey thanks a lot
is everybody doing good do you want more bread
is anybody can i get you anything can i can i can i do something yes you can
off we ordered food bring
the food and then leave and then when the plates are empty come back and then
you give us a check and
we give you a tip and then we get the out of here what am i a child you're
gonna cut up my steak for me
fucking beat it you know nice hotel right you don't want to go but you don't go
beyond a marriott
marriott fucking leaves you alone you check in it's a nice fucking place right
you're going anything
nicer than a marriott they're coming in they're bringing like hey can i turn
you want turn down
service i i don't i don't know what that is you're gonna tuck me in it's seven
o'clock at night
little billy big problems here um
sorry um i'm just more frustrated i'm trying to do a podcast every five seconds
it's just you
know you just hear like let me see wait i can't get to a wall here just here
you want some more celery um why would they give you celery you know why
because it's cheap and they
can give you a lot of it and they'll make it seem like they're doing something
um anyway i played this
i think it's called the scope arena is that what it's called yeah the scope
arena and i was just
blown away by the beauty of this thing s-c-o-p-e look it up you have to go see
a concert there you got
to go see some hockey or some basketball there it's 50 years old they broke
ground in 1968 and when they
built they built it their first tenant i believe was the v uh the virginia squires
an aba team who the one and only dr j played on um before he went to the new york
nets before he
went to the nba with the philadelphia 76ers and we were there last night and it
was the best sounding
arena i've been in and just the look of it and everything it was like it felt
old school and it
felt modern it's absolutely gorgeous and i don't ever hear of anybody going out
of their way people
go out of their way to go to madison square garden or like i don't know the
forum in la but there's some
hidden gems i i i would say the most underrated arena to go see fucking
anything would be the scope
arena the people there were so nice um i had an amazing show just one of those
shows i went up
there i immediately clicked with the crowd and they went with everything and um
yeah i texted my agent
the next morning going that that has to be a regular stop you know provided i
can sell that many tickets
when i get old like fucking really old like billy joel how about billy joel
still playing the so-fi
fucking arena that's unbelievable just going out there just him and a piano
like four other guys
selling out the whole fucking thing and the football field
guy is a beast um anyway tonight i am in atlanta which some of my most favorite
stand-up comedy
weekends gigs venues ever there was the original punchline that was one of my
favorite comedy clubs
in the country unfortunately you know they raised the least i don't know they
probably built some
luxury apartments that nobody can afford which they were also doing in norfolk
virginia like i don't
know what they're doing or where all of this money is coming from i'm just
finding everybody is hurting
right now i'm seeing people saying like a big mac at mcdonald's is like 15
bucks now and all of this
inflation and rather than trying to do something to help people out they're
just building more
shit that nobody can afford and they're knocking down shit that people could
afford so what the
fuck is going on you know what it is it's a ponzi scheme is what it is there so
um
every time i go to watch the news like every time i take a peek at what's going
on the gaza strip it is
just so heartbreaking seeing all of those innocent people on both sides because
of the lunatics at the
top just getting killed in me i don't know how you sit there and watch there's
like nothing you can do
about it and then it's just horrible right so i mean i don't know what do we do
we have to somehow
bond as non-sociopath regular people and we just have to start helping each
other out because these
fucking assholes a