Name: Bill Burr - Gay Advice
Uploaded: 2010-01-12T09:27:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Gay Advice' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-01-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Gay Advice' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-01-12. Transcript available.

condoms and bang away all right but the last thing you want to do is to get all
fucking
depressed about this shit and waste another couple months of your life brooding
all right
dust yourself off get back in the game all right all right next one hey bill uh
i got an interesting
uh situation going on i've been really good friends with this guy friend oh
dude this is a
this is a fucking great question i don't even know if i can answer this one so
i'm gonna need
some help all right uh hey bill i got uh an interesting situation going on i've
been really
good friends with this guy friend of mine for for like four years we're super
tight talk all the time
say i love you regularly finish each other's sentences that sort of crap well
one day i call
him and found out that he had stopped mid hookup with a girl to answer my phone
call when i asked
why he said it was because i was the most important girl in the world to him
right in front of the
the girl he was getting play from my question to you is does this dude dig me
or is he just a great
friend and if he does why hasn't he ever made a move ah wow okay
all right there we go it's not an original fucking question in a way but it is
because this is with two
dudes now yeah jesus christ how the fuck do i answer this one um yeah dude
there's something fucking
going on there the way you write about it it sounds like you're in a relation
you guys are in a
relationship it sounds like uh yeah i don't know what his deal is he's
definitely curious i can tell you
that uh i've never tried to figure out if a dude like me like that but this is
really making me
uncomfortable that's why i like this fucking question um yeah i think you got
to figure out
what's going on you know but i i gotta be honest with you if this was i'll give
you the same advice
that if if you were if this was like a woman and she keeps acting like that
around you but she's
hooking up with some other guy then i'd be like fuck her walk away so i'll give
you the same advice
fuck this dude he hasn't you know if he is gay he's not ready to admit it yet
and what are you gonna
do stand around like some fucking uh some fucking guy who stands around fuck
that
go down to uh fiddlesticks whatever what the fuck there was actually a gay bar
called that i remember
there was a stand-up gig in boston someone of my friends did it it's called it's
called fiddlesticks
um yeah fuck that yeah go down to the bar do what you guys do work out get the
fucking abs going
put on a tight shirt just don't hook up with a creepy older guy that's
something i noticed when
i'm living in new york and la there's always like a creepy older guy with a
young younger gay dude
like he's teaching them how to be gay or something are they like gold drink
digging gay guys out there
because i i really don't because guys are visual fucking people you know what i
mean
so i i don't know how the fuck that goes down and i'll tell you right now i don't
wanna
so whatever dude i don't know what your deal is confront him or fucking move on
because uh
you know if he actually is gay and he's still out there banging women uh you
know what i'm telling
you you're only on earth for a very short period of time your time is valuable
you got to put a value
on it just like that guy before you okay that chick fucking took off now he's
standing there
walking around trying to hand her flowers she's still giving him the heisman
and then that's when
you got to be like that's when you you got to get some fucking self-esteem and
be like look
i'm better than this i'm the shit i'm telling you the solutions you always go
to the gym you listen
to some fucking music that's how i do it you know you fucking get some sleep
you start looking good
you feel good about yourself and then you go out and you talk to somebody who
really you have no business talking to and they shoot you down then you have a
couple more drinks
and you start thinking about the person that made you want to do that in the
first place and you go
back into the depression but you wake up the next day and you do it over again
it's six weeks people
six weeks you got to tough it out for six fucking weeks and you'll get out of
it so good luck to the
both of you all right next question hey bill this is a hockey question um that's
another reason why
i'm psyched to be back on the road is now i can finally actually watch some
hockey games
ordering the nhl package today much to my girlfriend's chagrin um hockey