Name: Bill Burr-The N Word and Drunk Women
Uploaded: 2010-02-01T11:49:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-The N Word and Drunk Women' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-02-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr-The N Word and Drunk Women' from Bill Burr Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2010-02-01. Transcript available.

and right there right there okay here's a couple of revenge stories um all
right bill saw you at
the stress factory you're the only white guy i've paid to see there great uh
thank you
i think i love when black guys say that you know you're the funniest white boy
i've seen
uh thanks usually i think you guys suck yeah just openly oh shit somebody
dropped the fucking n-word
first time first time this year somebody dropped the n-word to me after one of
my shows you guys
ever see that bit i did about being in nashville and that guy dropped the n-word
out of fucking
nowhere and he didn't even look around he said it like he was saying the word
like chair or something
and i got all fucking panicked and i didn't know what to do every once in a
while that happened to
me in tennessee nashville tennessee raleigh north carolina and now uh tampa
this is all over the
the last like four years so this time uh was after one of my shows this dumb
brood who wouldn't shut the
fuck up the whole show and she kept standing up and she had blonde hair that
was sort of like a short
haircut and so she ended up looking like glenn close in the natural she kept
standing up and uh so at the
end of the show she had to come out to me yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she's
all fucking drunk i'm like
okay sweetheart okay and like you know i'm selling my dvds and as she would go
to the left of the
table i would go around to the right you know and then she'd go to the right i'd
go to the left i'm
basically keeping a piece of furniture in between us because you know those
girls when they get drunk
and they come up with that red wine breath it's horrific you know so she comes
up and i'm like okay
okay okay okay i'm glad i get it you had a good time you weren't trying to
disrupt the show even
though i told you to shut the fuck up 15 times i get it she goes no you don't
understand you understand
you you're one of my favorite comedians i like you and i like cat williams even
though he's a n-word
i just looked at her i go did you just say and then she looked at me i go all
right you have a
good night and i just walked away that's my new thing i do the first time when
it first used to
happen i used to kind of stare at the floor with my eyebrows up not looking at
him like okay what the
fuck this is really happening and then i went through this middle phase of
trying to change the person's
views trying to tell them why they shouldn't say it and i realized that's a
fucking waste of time
you know what i mean like like you have to like fuck i mean this it's like the
person was like 14
or 15 saying it and they had hope this person was like pushing 40. it's over
you know that's like
yeah fucking america right now we think we're gonna go into iraq and drop some
fucking starbucks and
cheesecake factories over there and those people are gonna stop it's over they're
not they they're they're
doing what the fuck they're doing they don't like each other and we should let
them just
fucking work it out so i just look at those yeah just now i just go like i i
just clarify what they
say did you just say this and they either say yes or just look at me and i just
walk away from them
uh so i walk away and then i'm talking to somebody else and then all of a
sudden she comes staggering
up again no way wait you don't understand you don't understand i said ma'am i'm
done talking to you
seriously i'm done talking to you walk away so um i don't know i know she's
gonna wake up this
morning and i'm gonna be the asshole i had a couple of those i have a lot of
problems with
women down here in tampa i had another girl uh she's just drunk and pissed she
comes walking up to
the table are you are you fucking selling a fucking dvd i gotta fucking buy one
you already
fucking have it and i'm just like ma'am you don't have to do anything you don't
want to do
so and then she was doing that whole thing coming around to the back of the one
if i can just
establish one thing i would love to establish after my shows is if somehow i
could get people to respect
the other side of the table you know i don't mind people come around they want
to take a picture but the
people who come around people who you don't mind coming up to you never come up
to you they all
walk out the door then they send you a text i was gonna say hi but i was shy
sorry but the
fucking drunks who come up with spittle coming out of their mouth they just
they gotta walk right
up to your face what's that seinfeld the close talkers that's what they end up
doing
i don't even remember what you know i'm not even drinking i can't even know
what the
fuck happened last night because this high voltage tower i don't know if she
just kept coming up to
me and she kept cursing i'm like all right lady all right and she goes no no i'm
sorry you come over
here and hug me it's like no get away from me and then she starts putting her
fucking hands on me
you know and it's just like you know something you fucking twat i don't want
you fucking touching me
right now okay but you don't give a shit because you're a woman and i'm a guy
and this and it's okay
for you to do that it's not considered anything if i do it to you it's fucking
some sort of harassment
right you're fucking you're fucking drunk ass hands off of me you're you're you're
a sloppy mess
get away from you know what i'm doing i want to put my hand right on her
fucking forehead
you know and right as she reached up to fucking remove my hand i gave her that
little to her head
make that head snap back a little bit and as right as it was registering that i
made her head snap
back i would then like like chuck norris swiftly move to the exact opposite
side of the tables
because then i know i know she'd get mad and then start flailing oh my god you
just
fucking slammed me in the fucking head yes i did you drunk cunt buy a dvd or
don't buy a dvd
but don't fucking you know come up and start fucking cursing me out i'm not
telling you
you got to buy the thing you fucking twat beat it all right so i got one more
show here in tampa
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.